When is it time to give up?

Not about poi, has nothing to do with poi.
rather that great big scary world that comes to find me when i set down my balls and walk away.

*warning long read*

Under the circumstances of my moving this year, I had to leave behind my horses ( I had three, it's a long story.) One in particular I have known since he was a baby, i wasn't allowed to work with him until he was a year old, but then I bought him and he's always been very special to me. He almost died but luckily a very good surgeon, and some luck, saved him. He is four now, and I miss him a lot and have been saving money so I can pay to transport him to where I am going to school next year and pay board. The truth is though, I can't even really afford to go to school as it is, and it's going to be even harder to have chey (prounounced shy) to look after. I was not/am not allowed to bring him out here, at least not till after high school, and if i'm leaving again it doesn't make much sense. I have a bit of money right now, but horses are exceedingly expensive. I miss chey a lot, but I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I can afford to keep him, but I don't want to just give him up.... he is like my child, and it bothers me that i even left him. I didn't want to, and nothing short of fear for my own life with the knowledge that chey would live would have let me go. But here I am, and there he is, and I'm looking for some advice on what to do.....

Kyrian

wish I could suggest something. When I moved back to my parents house a few years ago they wouldn't let me keep Ri (pronounced ree) and waylander, my rats. I had to let them free in the local woods. I just pray that on a dark night a horde of rats comes storming out of those woods leaving a trail of rattyness in their wake.... hehehe. But its a sad lament you have to tell, and I wish I could help you on it.

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Trance the sacred spiral dance.
Love and Light
Spiral
'ride the spiral to the end, It may just go where no-ones been'