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stranger


Total posts: 9
Posted:OK as my name suggests I am one of your number. I normally post here under a different screen name. I felt more comfortable posting this without anyone knowing who I am.

Right I've been feeling very confused lately and I kind of know why, but I dont know what to do about it. Ill tell you a storey:

Just over a month ago, I was out one Friday night and I found myself getting very friendly with a girl who I had talked to once before in passing but never really knew. Well we kissed and exchanged phone numbers and stuff, and I thought things were looking up. We met up a few times quite soon after that night, and got on really well with each other. But since I'm shy and she's shy, we never really talked about us as being together.
Once I asked her if we were together and she said shed like to be but it was awkward at the moment because of something to do with her ex boyfriend, I kind of accepted this and we went on meeting up and having good times. But then recently I've just been thinking about her a lot, I can't really think about anything else Its bad, this started last Friday, when we met at a club and stuff, and then she had to leave, and I dunno, probably because I wasnt 100% myself at that point I came to bad conclusions about this. But anyway I phoned her after I left the club that night and basically said that I think I liked her a lot and I just wanted to know what she thought, she said again that she really liked me. And then on Monday we talked again, and this mysterious something to do with her ex boyfriend came up in conversation. I tried to get her to explain what it was all about, but I dont know she was just very reluctant to tell me so I didnt push the point to far. I dont think this can be good. She wants to keep on seeing me, we saw each other again yesterday and it was cool.

Just before I went away this weekend I got an email from here saying, could I please phone her when I get back.

I just really dont know what I can do I want to make her mine, if that makes sense at all partly I just wanted to post this here because I thought writing it all down would help clear my mind. But also this community has some very sensible people in it, so all of your opinions would probably be helpful.


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yannicus
GOLD Member since Jul 2003

yannicus

member
Location: Paris, France, the armpit of e...

Total posts: 169
Posted:i've been reading all the posts, and it seems to me that everyone has their own opinion about the matter. everyone has their own technique, or simply their own way of dealing with these matters.

i could say something like 'you should do what feels natural, and go with your emotions', but i dont think thats really of any use.

if you ask me, the girl was on to you for a time, and had you gone for the gold straight up it could have happened. but time has passed and the window of opportunity might have passed.

personally, i miss out on a lot of things just because of hesitation. i say, if you go for the gold when its there, its yours


-Believing that all has been said and done is like mistaking the horizon for the limits of the world. Voltaire.
-Plus je connais hommes, plus j'aime mon chien. Pascal.

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fraggle
SILVER Member since Apr 2004

fraggle

member
Location: denver, colorado, USA

Total posts: 94
Posted:woman crazy

fraggle eat doozer stick


dance your cares away
worries for another day
so let the music play
down in fragle rock

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Medusa
BRONZE Member since Nov 2003

Medusa

veteran
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Per...

Total posts: 1433
Posted:I've been that type of girl who just doesn't really know what she wants and has done pretty much something similar with another guy...

I agree totally with FNF it is all well and good chasing after someone who has issues but if the person doesn't want help (which by her letter has pretty much said that) then maybe it is best you let her go for now.

Tell her that you are there for her but you can not hang around waiting for her to make up her mind...when she has made up her mind then maybe she can come round if you haven't moved on in that time.

I feel for you.

I'm sorry you seem to be going through this and if you do decide to wait around for her I hope that it all works out in the end.


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duballstar
SILVER Member since Sep 2003

duballstar

slack rating - 9.5
Location: Suburbiton, Yoo-Kay, United Ki...

Total posts: 2216
Posted:owch. in a lot of ways that sounds kinda like my first girlfriend who strung me along for a few weeks while on a break from her ex and then turning round, dumping me and apologising for being a bitch. except she didn't have drinking problems. and it was more complicatd than that. but i can still symapthise.



all i'd say is that it's probably best to bail out on the relationship but remain friends and try to help her through being there, not wanting her. as for yourself, don't worry because (i know it's cliche but) there's plenty of other fish in the sea, and all the time in the world. i seem to fall for a girl every 6 months (at least).... it took me a long time to sort out the mess i was in first time round but that's mainly because let it bring me down. whatever you do, don't turn to drink or drug yourself!



chin up and, oh.. and have a hug hug hug2 smile


It is our fantasies that make us real. Without our fantasies we're just a blank monkey' - Terry Pratchett

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fluffy napalm fairy


fluffy napalm fairy

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Brum / Dorset / Fairy Land

Total posts: 3638
Posted:wooo look I think youshould take my advice cos lots of people agree with me biggrin biggrin :0

I know this is a serious matter - I'm just kidding about. Please let us all know what's happening,

Take care man hug


Geologists do it in the dirt................ spank

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Mags The Jedi
GOLD Member since May 2004

Mags The Jedi

Fool
Location: Cornwall, UK

Total posts: 2020
Posted:I'm not even gonna begin to explain my girl problems. They're all in my diary anyway.

Solidarity Reg.


"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

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griffin


griffin

feminine tiddly pom
Location: cambs england

Total posts: 505
Posted:ive been that string along girl before, with and without the drink addmittedly, and far as my experiences go, i think confrontation, with the issues, about Exactly how you feel, all the worries and concerns and loves, should be done, together? and sober. give the impresion that although you still care, you're a human with heart renching feelings, and its not good for either of you.
you know theres a website full of people who will support and comfort you hug
and yeh, be thoughtful but not hesitant-you'll regret the unactioned events, not the action packed


in state of metamorphosis

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pass_the_pig


pass_the_pig

journeyman


Total posts: 60
Posted:is that right miss griffin, maybe a touch of the ol hypocritical bug there my friend

I took my harp ta party, but no body asked me to play, so I took harp home again

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griffin


griffin

feminine tiddly pom
Location: cambs england

Total posts: 505
Posted:well, you learn from your mistakes, pig, but im sure you know that too

in state of metamorphosis

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pass_the_pig


pass_the_pig

journeyman


Total posts: 60
Posted:lo hat tipd again miss griffin, nice burn

I took my harp ta party, but no body asked me to play, so I took harp home again

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griffin


griffin

feminine tiddly pom
Location: cambs england

Total posts: 505
Posted:well, its all mine so hahahaha
(curses, i cant see it..oh crap)

anyhoo, hope it all goes well one hug


in state of metamorphosis

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PyroWill
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

PyroWill

HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
Location: Staines, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4437
Posted:whats that saying, hell hath no fury like a women scorned?? just do what i do, if i get all ubbcrying or mad2 over a woman, i just stick on the best comedy i can find in my collection if i got it, if u have it i recommend spaced!! an amazing comedy and will help you with your woes, if that fails just (if u have broadband) just download a few episodes of south park, that should raise your spirits and soon you'll be spinning without thinking 'maybe if i just drop it now it'll all be over'

good luck, and in the end dont worry it could be worse smile


An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian

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stranger


Total posts: 9
Posted:tahlloola the sheep

this is about a girl i know...

she said she missed me
(she still really liked me
she was sorry about what happened before)
when id given up hope

the result:
we are together (again?)
and again i ask questions
like, again?

last time i promised i wouldnt let this happen to me again
i am not a plaything
i feel

when im with her i am so happy
the smiles burst from me
except
last time i saw her she went to sleep for two hours
while i fiddled with her hair

when she is there and i am here
anxiety sets in
she never calls me and isnt answering her phone

is she ignoring me?

does she care weather im here or there?
most days i get the feeling
shed rather i was here with my feelings
and she there with her perfect life that i dont feel like i fit into
and i dont think i ever will

but still all i want to say to her is
i love you


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Lillie Frog


Lillie Frog

not a stranger
Location: wales

Total posts: 558
Posted:That's so sweet, and so sad.
hug


Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road

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wingrd


wingrd

Member
Location: Northampton,UK

Total posts: 18
Posted:Ask your self if you could spend the rest of you life with her and if she could spend the rest of her life with you.

Then ask her the same (careful not to say it on one knee).

This should bring home if youre wasting time in a dead end relationship or if you are going to grow with her and have a long term productive and healthy relationship.

I personally want you to keep seeing her but thats cos I like this soppy romantic stuff and want to believe in the it was difficult but we got though it and now were really happy fairy tail crap. But realistically, you look like youre in a doomed relationship. (sorry)


D

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