Forums > Social Discussion > Sex Education
Login/Join to ParticipateSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Posted:
Ok following today's talk by some nurse at school today I think this subject deserved a thread.
The amount of sex ed at my school (or rather the lack of it) really does worry me. I started a thread a while back concerning the numerous amount of pregnant girls at my school and I can't stop thinking that perhaps the proper sex education, these situations could have been avoided.
Today all the year 11 girls were hushed into the hall and this woman with a slideshow presentation began to tell us all about the wonder that is - periods. Sorry to be frank but, 2 years too late love.
I mean this was *really* basic stuff, the kind of info you get when you first join year 7, and yes its important to know but what, we're all 15 comming up 16 now. Surely its basic knowledge by now.
Surely this time would have been better spent talking about contreception? or STD's? or what emotional and/or physical ties come along with sex?
The talk only slightly broke the surface on the symptons of STD's and then quickly moved back onto telling us what tampons were. And we even got our own little 'goodie bag' at the end of the talk *rolls eyes*
We've had one lesson where we got to put a condom on a test tube, but no talk involved. The embarresed teacher buried her head in a book for most of the lesson.
And surely we're old enough to have mixed sex ,sex ed. classes now? nor have we even has a male teacher for one of these classes. and might I add that we havn't even touched on homosexuality or gay sex.
I think that most of britain (most not all) has a problem with sex education, and that most of these horrid situations that people wished they'd never gotten themself's into (pregnacy, STD's) could've been avoided with the right education.
Feel free to comment, state opinions and/or hurl rotten tomatoes at me
Aimz xx
Ok following today's talk by some nurse at school today I think this subject deserved a thread.
The amount of sex ed at my school (or rather the lack of it) really does worry me. I started a thread a while back concerning the numerous amount of pregnant girls at my school and I can't stop thinking that perhaps the proper sex education, these situations could have been avoided.
Today all the year 11 girls were hushed into the hall and this woman with a slideshow presentation began to tell us all about the wonder that is - periods. Sorry to be frank but, 2 years too late love.
I mean this was *really* basic stuff, the kind of info you get when you first join year 7, and yes its important to know but what, we're all 15 comming up 16 now. Surely its basic knowledge by now.
Surely this time would have been better spent talking about contreception? or STD's? or what emotional and/or physical ties come along with sex?
The talk only slightly broke the surface on the symptons of STD's and then quickly moved back onto telling us what tampons were. And we even got our own little 'goodie bag' at the end of the talk *rolls eyes*
We've had one lesson where we got to put a condom on a test tube, but no talk involved. The embarresed teacher buried her head in a book for most of the lesson.
And surely we're old enough to have mixed sex ,sex ed. classes now? nor have we even has a male teacher for one of these classes. and might I add that we havn't even touched on homosexuality or gay sex.
I think that most of britain (most not all) has a problem with sex education, and that most of these horrid situations that people wished they'd never gotten themself's into (pregnacy, STD's) could've been avoided with the right education.
Feel free to comment, state opinions and/or hurl rotten tomatoes at me
Aimz xx
SILVER Member
A perth girl gone walkabout...
396 posts
Location: Back home in Perth WA, Australia
A perth girl gone walkabout...
396 posts
Location: Back home in Perth WA, Australia
Posted:
Back on the Sex Ed topic - My yr 12 Human Biology teacher was a bit of a nut - He taught the class by referring to Hermie Spermie and Gladys the Egg, forming little bambinos when Mummy & Daddy went ompa ompa - Hello?? 17 year olds?? I had a more grown up approach to sex ed in the classes we had in year 6, and yr 7, and yr 8!!
Back on the Sex Ed topic - My yr 12 Human Biology teacher was a bit of a nut - He taught the class by referring to Hermie Spermie and Gladys the Egg, forming little bambinos when Mummy & Daddy went ompa ompa - Hello?? 17 year olds?? I had a more grown up approach to sex ed in the classes we had in year 6, and yr 7, and yr 8!!
I smile because i have no idea whats going on!! 
enthusiast
233 posts
233 posts
Posted:
Lightning, I don't hate you, I'm not sick nor am I twisted, I don't agree with what you claim to be, nor do I feel it should grant you any special privlege, nor am I about to sit there and let your choice of a lifestyle corrupt people any longer.
You can't choose your parents, but you can choose your lovers. You can't choose your skin color, but you can choose who you are attaracted to.
Lightning save all the lives that you can, but why don't you start with your own?
Lightning, I don't hate you, I'm not sick nor am I twisted, I don't agree with what you claim to be, nor do I feel it should grant you any special privlege, nor am I about to sit there and let your choice of a lifestyle corrupt people any longer.
You can't choose your parents, but you can choose your lovers. You can't choose your skin color, but you can choose who you are attaracted to.
Lightning save all the lives that you can, but why don't you start with your own?
GOLD Member
Poi-tato
183 posts
Location: Iceberg 319, Canada
Poi-tato
183 posts
Location: Iceberg 319, Canada
Posted:
well the whole fack that it seems what most people seem to say british schools are for the most part embarassed to engage in sexual conversations with there students is remarkably funny to me I live in canada and perhaps its just where i grew up but as far back as about grade 5 i think is when we first started getting sex ed and i lived on an island so the teacher presenting this to u is probly your best friends dad dunno but by the time i made it to grade 11 the teachers were so open that i had some of them talking to me about there adventures with drugs and how theyd sample anything and the only thing keeping them off trying heroine was thinking theyd like it... so i dont know if alot of canadian schools are like this or only just mine and the fact that i lived in a small community and people were pretty promiscuous and what not but it seems funny to me that people would still shy away from such topics...especially with todays media
well the whole fack that it seems what most people seem to say british schools are for the most part embarassed to engage in sexual conversations with there students is remarkably funny to me I live in canada and perhaps its just where i grew up but as far back as about grade 5 i think is when we first started getting sex ed and i lived on an island so the teacher presenting this to u is probly your best friends dad dunno but by the time i made it to grade 11 the teachers were so open that i had some of them talking to me about there adventures with drugs and how theyd sample anything and the only thing keeping them off trying heroine was thinking theyd like it... so i dont know if alot of canadian schools are like this or only just mine and the fact that i lived in a small community and people were pretty promiscuous and what not but it seems funny to me that people would still shy away from such topics...especially with todays media
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potato's.
enthusiast
233 posts
233 posts
Posted:
The philosiphy in the school room of one generation will be the philosiphy of the government in the next.
The philosiphy in the school room of one generation will be the philosiphy of the government in the next.
BRONZE Member
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted:
As Dom said, take it outside guys... and stay on topic.
Written by: DĆøm
People!!!! you're going nowhere here, apart from grossly off topic
Everyone: Burzaruka believes every word in the bible is true and nothing will change his mind, it's closed to you. If you want to try the tired old arguements or discuss homosexuality then please do so via PM.
Burzaruka: You're not going to change anyone's minds either.
As we've said before, leave religion out of this discussion. If you feel you can't do this then do not post.
As Dom said, take it outside guys... and stay on topic.
HoP Posting Guidelines
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
If you can answer YES to these 4 questions then you may post a reply.
BRONZE Member
Returning to a unique state of Equilibrium
3,289 posts
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Returning to a unique state of Equilibrium
3,289 posts
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Posted:
and thats why we keep the emphasis in schools on Education rather than Indoctrination.
Josh
Written by: Burzaruka
The philosiphy in the school room of one generation will be the philosiphy of the government in the next.
and thats why we keep the emphasis in schools on Education rather than Indoctrination.
Josh
--
Help! My personality got stuck in this signature machine and I cant get it out!
Shoryuken!
233 posts
Location: Hexham, Newcastle, England
233 posts
Location: Hexham, Newcastle, England
Posted:
Jebus I wish that were true. My philosophy class last year consisted of one neo-nazi, a couple of middle of the road/right wingers and the rest of us were uber-liberal/anarco.
By the last year of school, with roughly 300 people in our year, you would have been hard pressed to find 20 people who would even consider voting conservative. Religeon was no longer the norm - finding out that someone was christian usually came as a suprise.
Going down to oxford uni for an interview came as such a kick in the balls - most of the people I met were just wanabe Tony Blairs. Politics students at Oxford are the people who will be in government in 20 years - and from what I saw they were mostly just same old same old.
Respectahhhh
Davy
Written by:
The philosiphy in the school room of one generation will be the philosiphy of the government in the next.
Jebus I wish that were true. My philosophy class last year consisted of one neo-nazi, a couple of middle of the road/right wingers and the rest of us were uber-liberal/anarco.
By the last year of school, with roughly 300 people in our year, you would have been hard pressed to find 20 people who would even consider voting conservative. Religeon was no longer the norm - finding out that someone was christian usually came as a suprise.
Going down to oxford uni for an interview came as such a kick in the balls - most of the people I met were just wanabe Tony Blairs. Politics students at Oxford are the people who will be in government in 20 years - and from what I saw they were mostly just same old same old.
Respectahhhh
Davy
GOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom
Posted:
My aplogies for not reading the other 99 posts but don't have time so I hope this comments has & hasn't been posted before
Poor sex ed in the UK stems from a culture based problem. We hide, shrowd and cover it up like it doesn't exist. If our culture was more open and easy going then so would our education. If parents talked more (personally I think this is way more important that the school version) to their children and raised them in a household that was sexually aware our problem would be greatly reduced. Also the culture in the country of a lot of younger folks (under 16 I meam) is apalling when it comes to responsibility in general never mind just sex.
I'm just sooo thankful that my Mom is a realist and raised us with truth in our minds not bullshite and fantasy about the real world and adulthood.
So basically what I'm saying is education starts in the home, if the adults were raising their kids properly the schools would only need to top this up with some medical facts and figures. Underage pregnancy and stoopid attitudes from life come from the way our kids are raised and thus the society we live in, not the education received at school. If the parents can't be bothered to do the job (and surely they know how sex works) they shouldn't blame the schools for not teaching the kids properly when a 14yo girl gets pregnent.
My aplogies for not reading the other 99 posts but don't have time so I hope this comments has & hasn't been posted before
Poor sex ed in the UK stems from a culture based problem. We hide, shrowd and cover it up like it doesn't exist. If our culture was more open and easy going then so would our education. If parents talked more (personally I think this is way more important that the school version) to their children and raised them in a household that was sexually aware our problem would be greatly reduced. Also the culture in the country of a lot of younger folks (under 16 I meam) is apalling when it comes to responsibility in general never mind just sex.
I'm just sooo thankful that my Mom is a realist and raised us with truth in our minds not bullshite and fantasy about the real world and adulthood.
So basically what I'm saying is education starts in the home, if the adults were raising their kids properly the schools would only need to top this up with some medical facts and figures. Underage pregnancy and stoopid attitudes from life come from the way our kids are raised and thus the society we live in, not the education received at school. If the parents can't be bothered to do the job (and surely they know how sex works
) they shouldn't blame the schools for not teaching the kids properly when a 14yo girl gets pregnent. Let's relight this forum 
BRONZE Member
Watcher of 80s cartoons
665 posts
Location: Chepstow & Bristol, United Kingdom
Watcher of 80s cartoons
665 posts
Location: Chepstow & Bristol, United Kingdom
Posted:
Very true Custom. Pupils are very good at knowing their rights but are useless when it comes to knowing about the responsability that comes with their rights.
However, I work at Hartcliffe School where the average child has very little general knowledge, which is probably indicative to the lack of child parent communication. Half the parents seem to think that school is a baby sitting service. Education starting at home is great when the parents are educated themselves, or even mature enough to even have children. Therefore, schools like Hartcliffe have a responsability to deliver social skills lessons to the same standard as maths, English and science.
Very true Custom. Pupils are very good at knowing their rights but are useless when it comes to knowing about the responsability that comes with their rights.
However, I work at Hartcliffe School where the average child has very little general knowledge, which is probably indicative to the lack of child parent communication. Half the parents seem to think that school is a baby sitting service. Education starting at home is great when the parents are educated themselves, or even mature enough to even have children. Therefore, schools like Hartcliffe have a responsability to deliver social skills lessons to the same standard as maths, English and science.
>What do you think about the state of the Earth?
>I'm optimistic.
>So why do you look so sad?
>I'm not sure that my optimism is justified.
SILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
Posted:
very true bug, but how and where would the parents get the information?
very true bug, but how and where would the parents get the information?
I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
**giggles**
GOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Posted:
hmm, the convo gets cleaned out before i get a chance to reply to it. ah well.
sex ed. well, here in aust (btw, i went to a pretty crusty catholic school in what most people would consider outback australia, but it was pretty big, really, considering), from what i can remember, we had about an hour, total, in year 8, which would be when i was 11 or 12, i think. these two half hour sessions consisted of class segregation into male and female, piled into a room with a vcr, and watch this cartoon about kids in puberty. gee, thanks guys, i certainly know what to look for if im worried about stds (i actually only learnt of that term in that use a couple of years back, given that my old man was a telephone technician, STD always meant Subscriber/Standard Trunk Dialing). needless to say, that created a bit of confusion. The internet held a lot of the information i was looking for, and general sense helped me work out the rest, like not knowing what STD meant.
Here, nearly all of the cirriculum is set by the school, with the education board watching over their backs. usually, there is a minimum amount of hours or lessons that need be taught regarding various subjects. whether that minimum should be raised for sex ed, i dont know. maybe more information in that time, rather than a video thats older than i am.
Let's face it though, there arent many areas in schooling that don't need to be overhauled. sex ed may very well be the first subject that should be looked at, but it all needs to be done.
And yes, we do need to teach more sides of the story. Having nothing said about being gay, or worse, being told gay is bad, really isnt going to help anyone. least of all a young lad, confused by his feelings towards other lads. Having someone that is gay, someone that isnt, someone that used to be, someone thats bi, they're all people that should be speaking. The problem is, there is the current social stigma of those sorts of people (note, no offence intended by that statement, its simply the easiest generalisation to use), talking to children. the social stigma of 'i dont want that weirdo talking to my children'.
One thing though, education, while maybe wavering over the last 10-20 years, is definitely on the increase. can you imagine the amount of sex ed taught 50, 100, 200 years ago? what we learn today is miles ahead of what children learnt then. and it will only ever grow. the generation in school now will be a bit more liberal in their teachings, the generation they teach will be a little moreso, and so on.
course, we could always just go the way they did in demolition man, with sylvester stallone. anyone seen that, and know what im talking about?
hmm, the convo gets cleaned out before i get a chance to reply to it. ah well.
sex ed. well, here in aust (btw, i went to a pretty crusty catholic school in what most people would consider outback australia, but it was pretty big, really, considering), from what i can remember, we had about an hour, total, in year 8, which would be when i was 11 or 12, i think. these two half hour sessions consisted of class segregation into male and female, piled into a room with a vcr, and watch this cartoon about kids in puberty. gee, thanks guys, i certainly know what to look for if im worried about stds (i actually only learnt of that term in that use a couple of years back, given that my old man was a telephone technician, STD always meant Subscriber/Standard Trunk Dialing). needless to say, that created a bit of confusion. The internet held a lot of the information i was looking for, and general sense helped me work out the rest, like not knowing what STD meant.
Here, nearly all of the cirriculum is set by the school, with the education board watching over their backs. usually, there is a minimum amount of hours or lessons that need be taught regarding various subjects. whether that minimum should be raised for sex ed, i dont know. maybe more information in that time, rather than a video thats older than i am.
Let's face it though, there arent many areas in schooling that don't need to be overhauled. sex ed may very well be the first subject that should be looked at, but it all needs to be done.
And yes, we do need to teach more sides of the story. Having nothing said about being gay, or worse, being told gay is bad, really isnt going to help anyone. least of all a young lad, confused by his feelings towards other lads. Having someone that is gay, someone that isnt, someone that used to be, someone thats bi, they're all people that should be speaking. The problem is, there is the current social stigma of those sorts of people (note, no offence intended by that statement, its simply the easiest generalisation to use), talking to children. the social stigma of 'i dont want that weirdo talking to my children'.
One thing though, education, while maybe wavering over the last 10-20 years, is definitely on the increase. can you imagine the amount of sex ed taught 50, 100, 200 years ago? what we learn today is miles ahead of what children learnt then. and it will only ever grow. the generation in school now will be a bit more liberal in their teachings, the generation they teach will be a little moreso, and so on.
course, we could always just go the way they did in demolition man, with sylvester stallone. anyone seen that, and know what im talking about?
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
BRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Posted:
i remeber my primary school organising evenings that were aimed at certain age groups (ie: one for grades 1 and 2, another for 3/4 and another for 5/6). i was in grade 4, i think, and went to the 3/4 and the 5/6 one with my mother. so that was periods and the like.
in grade 6 i had changed school to a K-12 college and sex ed left me in tears. there was a few days of maybe an hour each (from memory) and girls got taught the girl stuff and guys got taught the guys stuff. all i can really remember from it was that the nurse contradicted herself so many times and made me cry myself to sleep! she was saying that (quoted from my 6 years ago memory) "girls who are overweight or obese will experience these changes before everyone else" and she looked straight at me as she said it!
at my school we can choose all our own subjects, but there are two health classes we have to do or we dont pass those years. yr7 does a sex ed, and yr9 does a drug ed. however i felt that they were a bit too late because there was nothing knew in what i got taught.
i think i learnt most things from magazines and TV. my family dont have the kind of relationship where we can talk about these kinds of things.
i remeber my primary school organising evenings that were aimed at certain age groups (ie: one for grades 1 and 2, another for 3/4 and another for 5/6). i was in grade 4, i think, and went to the 3/4 and the 5/6 one with my mother. so that was periods and the like.
in grade 6 i had changed school to a K-12 college and sex ed left me in tears. there was a few days of maybe an hour each (from memory) and girls got taught the girl stuff and guys got taught the guys stuff. all i can really remember from it was that the nurse contradicted herself so many times and made me cry myself to sleep! she was saying that (quoted from my 6 years ago memory) "girls who are overweight or obese will experience these changes before everyone else" and she looked straight at me as she said it!
at my school we can choose all our own subjects, but there are two health classes we have to do or we dont pass those years. yr7 does a sex ed, and yr9 does a drug ed. however i felt that they were a bit too late because there was nothing knew in what i got taught.
i think i learnt most things from magazines and TV. my family dont have the kind of relationship where we can talk about these kinds of things.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Posted:
yah see this is why i don't make threads often cos people make big long replies with big clever words which i can never replie too
(been absent for a while sorry guys, stupid thunderstorm blew up the modem)
education starts at home. my family and I have always believed in that. We are very open about things and alwayts have been. Some of my friends families are not so. take my friend R, her dad is a Doctor for christ's sake and they just don't talk about anything. It came to me the other day that if family is more open then the child is more readily open to take on sex ed lessons.
Thinking back to the condom lesson,a friend told me she was the only one that would touch it, the others poked it with a ruler as if it were road kill. and she is quite an open person.
ALSO i know this is going to sound *really* bad I made the connection between open familys is the area they live in, or in fact, how posh they are *cringes* Friend R and A live in an area of sussexcalled Little Common. Very la-di-da area with big expensive houses, and they are ver conservative (is that the word) where as people like me, or friend J, live in not very expensive areas and are quite open about everything really.
i've just spent and hour and 10 minutes reading those posts and now my brain hurts - im going back to sleep.
Aimz xx
yah see this is why i don't make threads often cos people make big long replies with big clever words which i can never replie too
(been absent for a while sorry guys, stupid thunderstorm blew up the modem)
education starts at home. my family and I have always believed in that. We are very open about things and alwayts have been. Some of my friends families are not so. take my friend R, her dad is a Doctor for christ's sake and they just don't talk about anything. It came to me the other day that if family is more open then the child is more readily open to take on sex ed lessons.
Thinking back to the condom lesson,a friend told me she was the only one that would touch it, the others poked it with a ruler as if it were road kill. and she is quite an open person.
ALSO i know this is going to sound *really* bad I made the connection between open familys is the area they live in, or in fact, how posh they are *cringes* Friend R and A live in an area of sussexcalled Little Common. Very la-di-da area with big expensive houses, and they are ver conservative (is that the word) where as people like me, or friend J, live in not very expensive areas and are quite open about everything really.
i've just spent and hour and 10 minutes reading those posts and now my brain hurts - im going back to sleep.
Aimz xx
SILVER Member
....
344 posts
Location: Midlands - nr cov, United Kingdom
....
344 posts
Location: Midlands - nr cov, United Kingdom
Posted:
MY school didn't teach sex ed either. We had the "tampon talk" at 12, but the only sex ed was flowers.
We had PSE, but teachers weren't allowed to discuss being gay then (and therefore for us, HIV went out too.)
Clause 28 isn't legal anymore, it was abolished last year, except for one county in the southeast (i forget which) that decided to keep it.
I'm gay, and as far as i know, i've hurt no one. it's ridiculous to say you can't ever hurt anyone tho. That would mean that you ALWAYS did what everyone else wants. And if two people want conflicting things, you can't do both. In this case, you just have to be true to yourself.
Self harm and *why*? Because it works. It deals with the problem that instant, and as Gelfling said, it makes emotional pain *real*
:o)
So, go now, promote homosexuality. You may get your toaster oven yet ;o)
MY school didn't teach sex ed either. We had the "tampon talk" at 12, but the only sex ed was flowers.
We had PSE, but teachers weren't allowed to discuss being gay then (and therefore for us, HIV went out too.)
Clause 28 isn't legal anymore, it was abolished last year, except for one county in the southeast (i forget which) that decided to keep it.
I'm gay, and as far as i know, i've hurt no one. it's ridiculous to say you can't ever hurt anyone tho. That would mean that you ALWAYS did what everyone else wants. And if two people want conflicting things, you can't do both. In this case, you just have to be true to yourself.
Self harm and *why*? Because it works. It deals with the problem that instant, and as Gelfling said, it makes emotional pain *real*
:o)
So, go now, promote homosexuality. You may get your toaster oven yet ;o)
"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"
Dorothy Gale
Pooh-Bah
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
1,662 posts
Location: Bristol
Posted:
i don't really think you can compare someone cutting themself or killing themself to being gay or bi, that's like saying 'why would someone choose to be black when there's so much racism around?'
al you do when you make these comparisons is dempostrate to people how little you know about other lifestyles.
i don't really think you can compare someone cutting themself or killing themself to being gay or bi, that's like saying 'why would someone choose to be black when there's so much racism around?'
al you do when you make these comparisons is dempostrate to people how little you know about other lifestyles.
I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.
member
340 posts
Location: Australia
340 posts
Location: Australia
Posted:
I teach teenagers about sex, drugs and alcohol in highschools through a volunteer program for and run by medical students.
We rock up to highschools in and do crazy skits to make them laugh a bit, then show them very graphic, real pictures of STDs which freaks some of them out (kills my sex drive for a day or so to). We then sit them down in small groups with a box of contraceptives, continue to discuss STDs further and show them what contraceptives are all about, running over pros and cons, how they function and how to use them and even some alternatives to sex. We discuss lots of different sexual issues including homosexuality (if it comes up, often highschools are way to homophobic for kids to feel safe enough to ask about it) and rape (what the minimum requirements are for someone to give consent). Often if I have a group of boys sitting with me, I give them some advice about girls like how their minds can work in relation to sex, how not to get falsely accused of rape, why putting pressure on girls for sex is actually self defeating, self esteem issues relating to sexual acceptance, legal responsibilities if they end up getting a girl pregnant, access to doctors, confidentiality laws doctors must abide to, health care cards and lots of other handy things young guys should be aware of. I often get asked about my own experiences which I happily tell them about (within reason of course).
If I get a group of "experienced" girls together, it is often a session of clarifing myths about STDs, contraception, rape, pregnancy, confidentiality laws for doctors, parental rights (or lack of rights) to access their childrens medical records
I love doing the session and the kids learn so much too. The amount of incorrect information that teenagers get fed is shocking. Religion should stay the hell out of medical science, the amount of damage they have done and can do by proselytising their pseudo-science crap is not ok.
I teach teenagers about sex, drugs and alcohol in highschools through a volunteer program for and run by medical students.
We rock up to highschools in and do crazy skits to make them laugh a bit, then show them very graphic, real pictures of STDs which freaks some of them out (kills my sex drive for a day or so to). We then sit them down in small groups with a box of contraceptives, continue to discuss STDs further and show them what contraceptives are all about, running over pros and cons, how they function and how to use them and even some alternatives to sex. We discuss lots of different sexual issues including homosexuality (if it comes up, often highschools are way to homophobic for kids to feel safe enough to ask about it) and rape (what the minimum requirements are for someone to give consent). Often if I have a group of boys sitting with me, I give them some advice about girls like how their minds can work in relation to sex, how not to get falsely accused of rape, why putting pressure on girls for sex is actually self defeating, self esteem issues relating to sexual acceptance, legal responsibilities if they end up getting a girl pregnant, access to doctors, confidentiality laws doctors must abide to, health care cards and lots of other handy things young guys should be aware of. I often get asked about my own experiences which I happily tell them about (within reason of course).
If I get a group of "experienced" girls together, it is often a session of clarifing myths about STDs, contraception, rape, pregnancy, confidentiality laws for doctors, parental rights (or lack of rights) to access their childrens medical records
I love doing the session and the kids learn so much too. The amount of incorrect information that teenagers get fed is shocking. Religion should stay the hell out of medical science, the amount of damage they have done and can do by proselytising their pseudo-science crap is not ok.
HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.
SILVER Member
....
344 posts
Location: Midlands - nr cov, United Kingdom
....
344 posts
Location: Midlands - nr cov, United Kingdom
Posted:
Byron, that sounds like something we could seriously do with here. Some schools in London now have a woman who goes around with dildos and condoms and teaches kids about it. she answers questions as well. I saw a documentary on it. It was very frank, and very useful and nothing like I've ever seen or heard of in a UK school before
Byron, that sounds like something we could seriously do with here. Some schools in London now have a woman who goes around with dildos and condoms and teaches kids about it. she answers questions as well. I saw a documentary on it. It was very frank, and very useful and nothing like I've ever seen or heard of in a UK school before
"But what would you do with a brain if you had one?"
Dorothy Gale
GOLD Member
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom
Posted:
sex education at my school was given by a priest!! what the hell is that about, call me whatever u want but i don't really think a priest is the most aptly trained person to give advice on sex issues now is he
sex education at my school was given by a priest!! what the hell is that about, call me whatever u want but i don't really think a priest is the most aptly trained person to give advice on sex issues now is he
An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind
Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife
"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian
Twister Fire Starter ridin on a tratter
156 posts
Location: Bristol/Exeter UK
156 posts
Location: Bristol/Exeter UK
Posted:
Ok I have read all the post....and now I wish I'd been here to comment from the beginning but never mind! I am trying really hard to avoid the whole Christianity and homosexuality issue because a) I'm to drunk b) I'll probably get this post deleted and c) I'm trying to respect other people's view points. But if it all goes ass-backwards and I comment then feel free to ignore it!
Sex education in my school was a pile of shite. Got taught loads about periods but NOTHING about stds or contraception and a bit of the scientific stuff "sex from an animal point of view." So in conclusion it was crap.
I was also unlucky.. that as in many English homes, sex is a bit of a taboo subject in mine. You can talk about it openly but it is never discussed.
But for some strange reason I've evolved increadibly open and unembarresed talking about sex. Possibly after the things I've read about missionaries and AIDS in the third world.
After travelling Europe with a my two friends I've seen that other countries are so uninhibited about sex and we communally decided that we need to work to destroy this stupid taboo which is, fundementally, recking everyone's lives!
If I could work out how to put photos on here I'd show you the Amsterdam Condomerie pics, and the vending machienes on our Swiss campsite and the educational pictures in Berlin.
In summary. It seems that most of us agree that no education, bad education and deeply rooted social taboos aren't good at all. But how do we move a society who are, for the majority, too english and too embarrased to say sexually transmitted disease into a society which knows what an STD is, knows that they need to take preventative precautions regarding them and prioritised openess about sex throughout generations!
Ideas? Comments? Tomatoes?
Caz
Ok I have read all the post....and now I wish I'd been here to comment from the beginning but never mind! I am trying really hard to avoid the whole Christianity and homosexuality issue because a) I'm to drunk b) I'll probably get this post deleted and c) I'm trying to respect other people's view points. But if it all goes ass-backwards and I comment then feel free to ignore it!
Sex education in my school was a pile of shite. Got taught loads about periods but NOTHING about stds or contraception and a bit of the scientific stuff "sex from an animal point of view." So in conclusion it was crap.
I was also unlucky.. that as in many English homes, sex is a bit of a taboo subject in mine. You can talk about it openly but it is never discussed.
But for some strange reason I've evolved increadibly open and unembarresed talking about sex. Possibly after the things I've read about missionaries and AIDS in the third world.
After travelling Europe with a my two friends I've seen that other countries are so uninhibited about sex and we communally decided that we need to work to destroy this stupid taboo which is, fundementally, recking everyone's lives!
If I could work out how to put photos on here I'd show you the Amsterdam Condomerie pics, and the vending machienes on our Swiss campsite and the educational pictures in Berlin.
In summary. It seems that most of us agree that no education, bad education and deeply rooted social taboos aren't good at all. But how do we move a society who are, for the majority, too english and too embarrased to say sexually transmitted disease into a society which knows what an STD is, knows that they need to take preventative precautions regarding them and prioritised openess about sex throughout generations!
Ideas? Comments? Tomatoes?
Caz
Caz
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Twister Fire Starter ridin on a tratter
156 posts
Location: Bristol/Exeter UK
156 posts
Location: Bristol/Exeter UK
Posted:
Cheers! How do you do that?!
Cheers! How do you do that?!
Caz
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Posted:
do what?
do what?
Meh
GOLD Member
ZORT!
3,045 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
ZORT!
3,045 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posted:
grow tomatoes?
grow tomatoes?
"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.
Twister Fire Starter ridin on a tratter
156 posts
Location: Bristol/Exeter UK
156 posts
Location: Bristol/Exeter UK
Posted:
no put photo's on! I feel so taunted!
no put photo's on! I feel so taunted!
Caz
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Posted:
are we dragging the subject off topic at all?
perhaps we should discuss this in PMs.
Just a thought.
are we dragging the subject off topic at all?
perhaps we should discuss this in PMs.
Just a thought.
Meh
member
340 posts
Location: Australia
340 posts
Location: Australia
Posted:
A couple of people have pm'd me regarding information I give in these sessions, so if I get the time and no-one objects too strongly, I will post some stuff up after the string of mid semester exams I am completing now! If anyone has any specific questions they want answered in regards to stds contraception, pregnancy, Aussie doctors, rape, confidentiality, sexual acceptance, ....etc... pretty much anything, either post up here or PM me!!! I can promise you, you cant ask anything more embarressing than I have asked or been asked!!
A couple of people have pm'd me regarding information I give in these sessions, so if I get the time and no-one objects too strongly, I will post some stuff up after the string of mid semester exams I am completing now! If anyone has any specific questions they want answered in regards to stds contraception, pregnancy, Aussie doctors, rape, confidentiality, sexual acceptance, ....etc... pretty much anything, either post up here or PM me!!! I can promise you, you cant ask anything more embarressing than I have asked or been asked!!
HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Posted:
I would certainly appreciate it. As a parent out of touch with kids today and a 10yold boy it will be good.
Thanks Byron
I would certainly appreciate it. As a parent out of touch with kids today and a 10yold boy it will be good.
Thanks Byron
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Posted:
thanks for your help bryon
If only we had u sorta peopel in the UK
*walks away mumbling
-ing tampax tracy my arse*
edit- oh! and guess what? another girl from my school had her baby yesterday >.< not even 16 yet....
EDITED_BY: *AimƩe* (1094034364)
thanks for your help bryon
If only we had u sorta peopel in the UK
*walks away mumbling
-ing tampax tracy my arse*edit- oh! and guess what? another girl from my school had her baby yesterday >.< not even 16 yet....
EDITED_BY: *AimƩe* (1094034364)
Innuendo Officer Extraordinaire
105 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
105 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posted:
I'm very grateful that my parents (well my Mom) gave me the facts in a fairly straightforward way, without any fluffing around the subject, birds and bees, storks etc. I guess its a hard thing for parents to talk to their kids about, but I also think that its something that has to be done. I mean, you spend years shouting at kids for crossing the road without looking, trying to drink bleach and fall out of trees, but then a lot of parents don't really cover the equally risky business of sex, STD's, pregnancy etc.
Oh, and the other thing I had was my Mom gave me a book about all this stuff, it was one of the Usbourne guides (which was kinda weird as it was in the same format as their other books on Birds, Animals, etc ) It was in fact this one:
Usbourne Guide - Understanding the Facts of Life
and contained information on puberty, sexual relationships (straight and gay), pregnancy and babies and STD's all done in a very informative way, and aimed at kids. I would haertily recommend it to anyone who is looking for this kind of information.
(and no, i don't work for Usbourne)
But definitely, the way forward is honesty, openness and starting early. Because in most cases, the playground rumour mill will have already beaten you to it (even if the facts are completely wrong). And in a strange way, having a 10 year old fully clued up on the practicalities of sex makes for interesting playground conversations, like the time I stopped my friends long-winded 'explanation' of what sex was with 'No, what actually happens is...' Best way to really shock your fellow classmates
I'm very grateful that my parents (well my Mom) gave me the facts in a fairly straightforward way, without any fluffing around the subject, birds and bees, storks etc. I guess its a hard thing for parents to talk to their kids about, but I also think that its something that has to be done. I mean, you spend years shouting at kids for crossing the road without looking, trying to drink bleach and fall out of trees, but then a lot of parents don't really cover the equally risky business of sex, STD's, pregnancy etc.
Oh, and the other thing I had was my Mom gave me a book about all this stuff, it was one of the Usbourne guides (which was kinda weird as it was in the same format as their other books on Birds, Animals, etc
) It was in fact this one:Usbourne Guide - Understanding the Facts of Life
and contained information on puberty, sexual relationships (straight and gay), pregnancy and babies and STD's all done in a very informative way, and aimed at kids. I would haertily recommend it to anyone who is looking for this kind of information.
(and no, i don't work for Usbourne
)But definitely, the way forward is honesty, openness and starting early. Because in most cases, the playground rumour mill will have already beaten you to it (even if the facts are completely wrong). And in a strange way, having a 10 year old fully clued up on the practicalities of sex makes for interesting playground conversations, like the time I stopped my friends long-winded 'explanation' of what sex was with 'No, what actually happens is...' Best way to really shock your fellow classmates
YARR! Thats replaced the whale in my nightmares!
member
340 posts
Location: Australia
340 posts
Location: Australia
Posted:
I finally found the time to write up a heap of stuff I talk to young guys about, in the sessions I mentioned above. Most of this stuff is off topic as the majority of the info we present is based on STDs, contraception and doctors. Never the less I still feel a lot of these topics below are very important. (The sessions I've done with a group of girls or a group of girls and guys, go through a different set issues to the ones mentioned bellow).
Most girls perceive sex in a very different way to guys.
Some important things to remember areā¦
āTypically a girl does not want to be seen as the pursuer of a sexual experience. They also donāt want to feel pressured into a sexual experience.ā
The first issue can be dealt with by being a trustworthy and supportive boyfriend. If they truly trust you and feel safe with you (not in the protective sense but in the sense that they feel you wont judge them when they say/do something outside the norm), they will generally take more of a risk, initiate more sexual experiences where otherwise they would have been too afraid to do so.
To clarify how you can help make a girl feel safer around you try the following thingsā¦
1. Do not betray her trust. If you say youāll keep a secret, keep it.
2. Do not judge what she says or does. No-one is perfect.
3. Validate who she is.
4. If you say you will come through with something, do it.
5. Stay balanced and calm when dealing with conflicts with her or infront of her.
6. Really listen to what she has to say.
7. Learn to listen with āyour whole beingā. I know this sounds corny but girls can tell the difference. To do this, try being totally aware of what she is saying AND aware of your presence at the same time (only these two things). If you do not know what ābeing aware of your presence / being aware of your whole beingā is all about, it is the same as being aware of all the general sensations throughout your body.
Some people may read this and say āsounds like you gotta be pussy whipped!ā BUT you still have to stand up for behaviour which is not acceptable to you. It is no use winning her trust and losing her respect by taking abuse from her. You donāt have to take crap from a girl just so she doesnāt feel judged by you, BUT you donāt have to attack her back either. Gently and calmly stating your boundaries and how you feel without attacking her (verbally or physically) goes a long way to resolving conflicts and creating a greater level of trust in the relationship.
āThey also donāt want to feel pressured into a sexual experience.ā
The second issue must be dealt with carefully. No does mean no. Under no circumstance does it mean yes. Rape is seriously not cool. Ask any man who has had to endure BIG BOB, their well hung cell mate. A guy putting consistent pressure on a girl to have sexual experiences with him IS NOT A TURN ON. A guy who is enjoys intimacy with his girlfriend and who doesnāt mind a sexual relationship that develops slowly IS A BIG TURN ON. Funnily enough, the second guy is the one that gets laid much quicker. The first guy is lucky if he ever gets laid. This is why pressuring girls for sex is self defeating.
This then leads on to
If you take the above advice there shouldnāt ever be grounds to be accused of rape BUT it is always better to get verbal consent plus it shows that you care about where she is at when you ask her āare you sure you feel ok with this?ā
Now for a situation I found myself in about 3 years ago.
I applied ALL the above things when entering into relationships with girls including the relationship I entered with a Christian girl a bit over 3 years ago. I knew she was semi no sex before marriage type of person, so I made it clear to her that I was fine with that. She totally trusted me and let go of many of her inhibitions because of how safe she felt with me. I knew she was not nearly as experienced as I was so I didnāt push any sexual levels with her past where she would go with meā¦ (wouldnāt go bellow the her belt till she had with me etc). It comes to the point where she really wants to have sex and she initiates it, I ask at least half a dozen times whether she is ok with it. Afterwards I say the stupidest most insensitive thing I have ever said to a girl EVER. āso what does it feel like to not be a virginā, ok I know Iām an idiot, it was very late at night and my brain fell out my nose. Either way she goes silent, I ask what it wrong, she says ānothingā, I sense she doesnāt feel comfortable next to me, she sits on the other side of the room, wont come back to bed to sleep, wont talk to me, I sleep for a bit, wake up and she is still sitting there, by this time Iāve sussed out that she feels I somehow manipulated her into having sex with me. I then present to her my perspective of exactly what happened over the entire night and ask her what her perspective was. She starts crying and I ask her if she felt that I pressured her into having sex. She says yes. I then ask her if remembers ā[ā¦ā¦ā¦.censoredā¦ā¦]ā (I stated how she initiated sex with me). She says yes. At this point it occurred to me that her reaction was due to her guilt as a Christian having sex before marriage and was triggered by my insensitivity. I made it clear to her that I was very sorry if she felt pressured into sleeping with me and that I had no intention of putting any pressure on her at all, infact quite the opposite was my intentions. Things started to resolve themselves after that.
The point of this story is that even if you do all the right things, you can still find yourself in a situation where you have just slept with a girl who is emotionally and mentally unstable who possibly feels you may have raped her. Be aware of this and thus be extra aware of where your girlfriendās emotions are at.
I mean no offence to anyone who has had a genuine experience of rape or sexual assault, I have many friends who have been raped and some who have been gang raped as well as experiences I have had myself which I will not go into, but I understand how hard it is for a rape victim to stand up infront of a court and be called a liar and worse. I do not mean to invalidate what they have gone through with my little story.
This is a great topic which I have put a lot of effort into in my life. Sexual acceptance or lack there of, can be a huge issue for a lot of young people. When I was in high school, my happiness was directly related to how many girls I had chasing me.
I felt great when I had lots and lots of attention from certain girls but as soon as it disappeared so did my self esteem. 
Uncoupling extrinsic sexual acceptance and you own self esteem can be a very difficult task but an extremely rewarding one. It has taken me two years of consciously choosing not sleeping with girls and not striving to have that constant sexual acceptance around me to really grasp full control of my own happiness. Do not get into the habit of needing to impress all of the people around you, it can be a very hard habit to break. A psychologist once told me:
āself esteem as society knows it, is nothing but a joke. Having your own happiness based on the occurrence of external events is crazy. These events could be maybe a certain person liking you, maybe success in a job or course you are in, maybe the complexion of your skin. They all have one thing in commonā¦ they can/are controlled by forces outside of your own conscious self. Seek to base your contentment within your own control. Find the genuine you and begin to build on it into a person you love. Let this be the basis of your contentment not whether a certain someone wants to roll around naked with you!ā
That was one clued in psychologist!
Doctor confidentiality laws are a little different relative to what country youāre in. Currently in Australia I think little Howard is trying to change the laws so parents can access their childrenās medical records up to a higher age, I think they are trying to put it up to 16yrs??? I think this will be very destructive for many young lives if it gets through. Ask your doctor what laws they are legally bound to follow before you tell them anything you donāt want anyone else to know. They will not break these laws otherwise they will get seriously in trouble with the big Medicine people (potentially losing there right to practice medicine) and be potentially sued by their patient.
Other handy hints guys should know:
-Be gentle, so many girls have told me about guys have just not been gentle enough or have out rightly hurt them without knowing.
-Donāt rush things, even though you might be able to go from āho hum
ā to āYEEHA ā in 15seconds, most girls take a fair while longer to warm upā¦ take your time.
-There is such a thing called lubricant, its fantastic stuff!! Ummmm how do I put this delicatelyā¦ NEVER start slopping lube onto little jimmy before you put a condom on, lube on the inside of the condom means it can easily slip off mid ride! You would be very surprised how many kids get this wrong when we sit down and practice putting condoms on ābanana penisesā!!! Lube goes on after the condomās on. YAY LUBE FIGHT!!!!!!!
I really enjoyed writing all this up, but now I have to get some sleep!
I know this only address some of the main issues I mentioned but feel free to pose any more questions or PM me if there is anything you want clarified!
Caio
.
I finally found the time to write up a heap of stuff I talk to young guys about, in the sessions I mentioned above. Most of this stuff is off topic as the majority of the info we present is based on STDs, contraception and doctors. Never the less I still feel a lot of these topics below are very important. (The sessions I've done with a group of girls or a group of girls and guys, go through a different set issues to the ones mentioned bellow).
Written by:
"I give them some advice about girls like how their minds can work in relation to sex"
Most girls perceive sex in a very different way to guys.
Some important things to remember areā¦
āTypically a girl does not want to be seen as the pursuer of a sexual experience. They also donāt want to feel pressured into a sexual experience.ā
The first issue can be dealt with by being a trustworthy and supportive boyfriend. If they truly trust you and feel safe with you (not in the protective sense but in the sense that they feel you wont judge them when they say/do something outside the norm), they will generally take more of a risk, initiate more sexual experiences where otherwise they would have been too afraid to do so.
To clarify how you can help make a girl feel safer around you try the following thingsā¦
1. Do not betray her trust. If you say youāll keep a secret, keep it.
2. Do not judge what she says or does. No-one is perfect.
3. Validate who she is.
4. If you say you will come through with something, do it.
5. Stay balanced and calm when dealing with conflicts with her or infront of her.
6. Really listen to what she has to say.
7. Learn to listen with āyour whole beingā. I know this sounds corny but girls can tell the difference. To do this, try being totally aware of what she is saying AND aware of your presence at the same time (only these two things). If you do not know what ābeing aware of your presence / being aware of your whole beingā is all about, it is the same as being aware of all the general sensations throughout your body.
Some people may read this and say āsounds like you gotta be pussy whipped!ā BUT you still have to stand up for behaviour which is not acceptable to you. It is no use winning her trust and losing her respect by taking abuse from her. You donāt have to take crap from a girl just so she doesnāt feel judged by you, BUT you donāt have to attack her back either. Gently and calmly stating your boundaries and how you feel without attacking her (verbally or physically) goes a long way to resolving conflicts and creating a greater level of trust in the relationship.
āThey also donāt want to feel pressured into a sexual experience.ā
The second issue must be dealt with carefully. No does mean no. Under no circumstance does it mean yes. Rape is seriously not cool. Ask any man who has had to endure BIG BOB, their well hung cell mate. A guy putting consistent pressure on a girl to have sexual experiences with him IS NOT A TURN ON. A guy who is enjoys intimacy with his girlfriend and who doesnāt mind a sexual relationship that develops slowly IS A BIG TURN ON. Funnily enough, the second guy is the one that gets laid much quicker. The first guy is lucky if he ever gets laid. This is why pressuring girls for sex is self defeating.
This then leads on to
Written by:
āhow not to get accused of rapeā
If you take the above advice there shouldnāt ever be grounds to be accused of rape BUT it is always better to get verbal consent plus it shows that you care about where she is at when you ask her āare you sure you feel ok with this?ā
Now for a situation I found myself in about 3 years ago.
I applied ALL the above things when entering into relationships with girls including the relationship I entered with a Christian girl a bit over 3 years ago. I knew she was semi no sex before marriage type of person, so I made it clear to her that I was fine with that. She totally trusted me and let go of many of her inhibitions because of how safe she felt with me. I knew she was not nearly as experienced as I was so I didnāt push any sexual levels with her past where she would go with meā¦ (wouldnāt go bellow the her belt till she had with me etc). It comes to the point where she really wants to have sex and she initiates it, I ask at least half a dozen times whether she is ok with it. Afterwards I say the stupidest most insensitive thing I have ever said to a girl EVER. āso what does it feel like to not be a virginā, ok I know Iām an idiot, it was very late at night and my brain fell out my nose. Either way she goes silent, I ask what it wrong, she says ānothingā, I sense she doesnāt feel comfortable next to me, she sits on the other side of the room, wont come back to bed to sleep, wont talk to me, I sleep for a bit, wake up and she is still sitting there, by this time Iāve sussed out that she feels I somehow manipulated her into having sex with me. I then present to her my perspective of exactly what happened over the entire night and ask her what her perspective was. She starts crying and I ask her if she felt that I pressured her into having sex. She says yes. I then ask her if remembers ā[ā¦ā¦ā¦.censoredā¦ā¦]ā (I stated how she initiated sex with me). She says yes. At this point it occurred to me that her reaction was due to her guilt as a Christian having sex before marriage and was triggered by my insensitivity. I made it clear to her that I was very sorry if she felt pressured into sleeping with me and that I had no intention of putting any pressure on her at all, infact quite the opposite was my intentions. Things started to resolve themselves after that.
The point of this story is that even if you do all the right things, you can still find yourself in a situation where you have just slept with a girl who is emotionally and mentally unstable who possibly feels you may have raped her. Be aware of this and thus be extra aware of where your girlfriendās emotions are at.
I mean no offence to anyone who has had a genuine experience of rape or sexual assault, I have many friends who have been raped and some who have been gang raped as well as experiences I have had myself which I will not go into, but I understand how hard it is for a rape victim to stand up infront of a court and be called a liar and worse. I do not mean to invalidate what they have gone through with my little story.
Written by:
āself esteem issues relating to sexual acceptanceā
This is a great topic which I have put a lot of effort into in my life. Sexual acceptance or lack there of, can be a huge issue for a lot of young people. When I was in high school, my happiness was directly related to how many girls I had chasing me.
I felt great when I had lots and lots of attention from certain girls but as soon as it disappeared so did my self esteem. Uncoupling extrinsic sexual acceptance and you own self esteem can be a very difficult task but an extremely rewarding one. It has taken me two years of consciously choosing not sleeping with girls and not striving to have that constant sexual acceptance around me to really grasp full control of my own happiness. Do not get into the habit of needing to impress all of the people around you, it can be a very hard habit to break. A psychologist once told me:āself esteem as society knows it, is nothing but a joke. Having your own happiness based on the occurrence of external events is crazy. These events could be maybe a certain person liking you, maybe success in a job or course you are in, maybe the complexion of your skin. They all have one thing in commonā¦ they can/are controlled by forces outside of your own conscious self. Seek to base your contentment within your own control. Find the genuine you and begin to build on it into a person you love. Let this be the basis of your contentment not whether a certain someone wants to roll around naked with you!ā
That was one clued in psychologist!
Doctor confidentiality laws are a little different relative to what country youāre in. Currently in Australia I think little Howard is trying to change the laws so parents can access their childrenās medical records up to a higher age, I think they are trying to put it up to 16yrs??? I think this will be very destructive for many young lives if it gets through. Ask your doctor what laws they are legally bound to follow before you tell them anything you donāt want anyone else to know. They will not break these laws otherwise they will get seriously in trouble with the big Medicine people (potentially losing there right to practice medicine) and be potentially sued by their patient.
Other handy hints guys should know:
-Be gentle, so many girls have told me about guys have just not been gentle enough or have out rightly hurt them without knowing.
-Donāt rush things, even though you might be able to go from āho hum
ā to āYEEHA ā in 15seconds, most girls take a fair while longer to warm upā¦ take your time.-There is such a thing called lubricant, its fantastic stuff!! Ummmm how do I put this delicatelyā¦ NEVER start slopping lube onto little jimmy before you put a condom on, lube on the inside of the condom means it can easily slip off mid ride! You would be very surprised how many kids get this wrong when we sit down and practice putting condoms on ābanana penisesā!!! Lube goes on after the condomās on. YAY LUBE FIGHT!!!!!!!
I really enjoyed writing all this up, but now I have to get some sleep!
I know this only address some of the main issues I mentioned but feel free to pose any more questions or PM me if there is anything you want clarified!
Caio
.
HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.
© 1998 - 2024 Home of Poi
All prices converted to United States dollars using XE.com