Posted: Hope this doesn't offend anyone!! Got emailed this - thought it was hilarious...
This is an actual transcript of Ali G's interview with Elton John about > >to > > >be televised very soon....Elton John is trying to stop the broadcast - > > >can't imagine why! > > > > > >* Ali G: Alo! I is ere wiv none uver dan da batty boy of pop, John > > >Elton. Respect. > > >*Elton John: It's Elton John actually Ali. > > >* Ali G: Aiih, whatever. So John, is you always been a batty bocause I > > >erd dat you woz once married - although I also erd dat da missus was > > >mingin? > > >*Elton John: Well Ali if you mean have I always been gay then probably > > >deep down I was but maybe fought it because in my younger days > > >especially it was not socially acceptable to be gay. > > >* Ali G: Fer real, but when you was gettin' jiggy did you fink about > > >people like James Dean and that Jonny Rottweiler who was tarzan so you > > >wouldn't end up wiv a floppy or woz you trisexual and didn't care where > > >you was stickin' Mr biggy? > > >*Elton John: Again I probably fought hard to convince myself I wasn't > > >gay so I never had a problem maintaining an erection with women. I now > > >know I am homosexual so I would probably struggle to get aroused with a > > >woman now. > > >*Ali G: Wow, I fink I might be homosexual then cause Mr biggy wasn't > > >coming out to play last Saturday night although ma Julie says it woz coz > > >I drank bottle of Dan Jackiels and had about 6 spliffs. I fink it woz > > >coz me Julie isn't very subtractive now in fact she's a dog. > > >*Elton John: I think you're Julie was right - it takes one to know one. > > >* Ali G: Wot, is you saying me Julie is a batty boy? Nah, the b*tch > > >won't take it up the exit hole, I've tried slipping it in a few times. > > >Happarently Julie is too nice a girl for batty sex. > > >* Elton John: Well a lot of women are not keen on an*l s*x just as I > > >know some gay men who are not keen on it either. Just because you're gay > > >doesn't mean that you have to like it - there are other ways to express > > >yourself sexually with another man. > > >* Ali G: Eh? Like fellatilatio you mean or gaelic. > > >*Elton John: Gaelic? > > >* Ali G: Aiih, gaelic. When batty boys lick each other. > > >* Elton John: Sure, oral s*x is one way of pleasing a lover but sensual > > >massage can be very enjoyable for example. > > >*Ali G: But dat is a bit rank innit - ah mean you need to lose you're > > >orange juice or what is da point? Anyways enough talk about homosapiens > > >- I hear dat you spend killions of dosh every year on shopping. Is dat > > >because you is a feminist? > > >*Elton John: I do spend a lot of money on shopping yes but I wouldn't > > >describe myself as a feminist. > > >* Ali G: But I thought dat all gay people were feminists? > > >* Elton John: Eh? > > >* Ali G: Chill. Anyway, is you related to dat lefty comedian Ben Elton > > >cause I fink he is rank. > > >*Elton John: No, I told you before my name is Elton John and not John > > >Elton. > > >* Ali G: Cool, woz your parents spaced out when dey named you? > > >*Elton John: No, that's not my real name but my stage name.Many > > >performers change their names to try to sound more appealing to the > > >public. Take Gary Glitter for example, his name is really Paul Gadd - > > >can you imagine the same guy selling so many records as Paul Gadd or me > > >as Reg Dwight? > > >* Ali G: Nah, but I can imagine him taking some poor kiddies up the Gary > > >Glitter coz he's a paedovile innit. Anyways, talkin of sickos how's yer > > >mate George Michael - I would never let my son go down on him the > > >preverted b*stard. > > >* Elton John: OK so George made a mistake - anyway I thought you said * > > >enough of the gay talk. I'd much rather you concentrated on another > > >aspect of me. > > >* Ali G: Me know what you is saying, sorry Mr Elton. OK then, does you > > >not fink dat you looks rank wearing a wig? Ah mean you looked a total > > >dick in the seventies wiv da shades but everyone looked like dicks in da > > >seventies. > > >*Elton John: If you're going to insult me any more I will walk out of > > >the interview - I can put up with a lot but you're going too far. > > >* Ali G: Chill Johnny, no offence. OK - you re-wrote dat Candle in the > > >Wind song when Princess Di got wasted, do you fink she was incinerated > > >by da SAS on da Queens orders or do you fink it woz just down to dat > > >pissed French c*nt. > > >*Elton John: Really Ali, Princess Diana was a very dear personal friend > > >of mine whom I loved very much - I don't want to discuss it. > > >* Ali G: You loved her, but how could you if you is a batty boy? Is she > > >a femisist or somefink? > > >*Elton John: (Elton leaves the room) > > >*Ali G: Nil respect to da menstral batty boy of pop - some people is > > >just too sensidine. It must be all da years hangin wiv dem homosapiens > > >and havin his batty bashed. Anyways I is off for some erbal remedy wiv > > >me boyz westside. > > >*Boyakasha!
-Such a price the gods exact for song: to become what we sing -Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty. -When the center of the storm does not move, you are in its path.
Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member still can't believe it's not butter 6,978 posts Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted: hehh ehh good to know that there are fellow conesseuirs of fine Ali Humour at HoP! to the Ali nutz here, a point to note is that Ali is referring to the lawsuit over this interview when he says to Becks that can't say the term 'Batty' on air anymore ^_^ On the subject of Becks, I is heard (from this week's Time magazine) that the Sun Tabloid Rag has like a prayer page for everyone to heal his bunged metatarsals up - man we take our football here seriously, but not THAT seriously! Phwaor Sally Stevens learnt that lesson the hard way! I make no sence today.
Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always
fireboyAn angry young man with a passon for metal 252 posts Location: Wagga Wagga, N.S.W, Australia
Posted: I cna t understand a word that ali say in that script oh well fireboy
Fireboy
<<SINister miNISister>> remeber kids jesus slaves
Similar Topics
Using the keywords [ali g cruel soooo funny] we found the following existing topics.