Forums > Social Chat > single,dating,married,or other?

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
just thought id tell everyone that this is one of those depressing posts..."I'm going to marry my Poi. " The Welcome Matt...gee... don't do anything to drastic (?) if you want we can get married to each other and than the poi could just stay toys...
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whatever...(??)

life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans John Lennon

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
Muy triste, por que yo no tengo una mujer. so, after many years I finaly figured out that most american women have tons emmotional baggage by the time they hit 20, and before that they don't want to do anything but be permiscuouse. (well, not all women, but most of the ones I have met), so now I'm thinking about finding a good importer of "fine asian women"...cause it seems chinese girls grow up in a more civilized and moralistic society than us crazy americans. however, until that time I am still available to a girl that can meet my stringent requirements...interested parties can Email me for a more detailed list of requirements at santanatwo@yahoo.com Requirements: beauty, inteligence, open minded, loving, wants children. Optional: poi experience, guns, outdoors, wilderness, animals, and techno music [This message has been edited by santanatwo (edited 28 February 2002).][This message has been edited by santanatwo (edited 02 March 2002).]

we eat and we drink and we smoke and we try!

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
Charly, in a way we do. PWB is not a performer and never wants to be onstage, but he does sometimes do safety work, and his caring for me shows then. If I get nervous I just look his way and everything is alright. I know he will be there to put me out, and he talks to people on my behalf when I am busy and does a really amazing job. Someone once told me that no one will promote yourself like you will, but he comes damn close! We work really close together on the website, and the chemistry in that type of stuff is amazing. We are at the point where we actually know what the other will say, even in daily life, and things can be just done without asking what he likes because I know him so well (like cooking and stuff you dirty minded people!). Bendy, I have seen that before and it is funny. If he ever decided to upgrade (officially) to Wife 1.0, he knows I will kick him out to do his guy things and that I have a kid, another isn't necessarily in the picture! Thanks for that chuckle though! My theory, he can try to upgrade girlfriends but he'll never find another version to keep him on his toes like I do! ------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...https://www.pyromorph.com

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
that was tooo funny bendy. single married or dating? hmm let me see? never mind, im not gonna tell...

anyone got a light?

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
Together with my girlfriend for 6 years..going to propose to her, in 2 days, i got a sparkly platinum diamond engagement ring in my hand right now in fact.Congratulations Malcom!------------------~whoosh whoosh whoosh~

~whoosh whoosh whoosh~

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
I succesfully uninstalled wife 1.0 about 8 years ago as that program came with a factory defect which caused conflicts with my OS. This enabled me to take advantage of a loophole in the unistall proceedure, so things went smoothly once I was able to reformat my hard drive.But that was long enough ago that it hardly counts anymore. It seems like a story someone else told me now (or was it?).Presently I am not quite single per se, but not really dating either. I'm seeing a couple people, but too busy to get very involved unforetunately.

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
I've been going out with my girlfriend for 3 months, 15 days. Yeah I love her and our relationship is great, cept that I had to move to Texas with my family, but we are making the long-distance relationship thing work, we have to, for each otherBrocke~If you can't twirl it, burn it~

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
*N8 raises hand with pride* The Martian and I are living proof that polyagamy works. We've been together for close to 4 1/2 years now and we've been intimate with lots of our close friends. Physical affection is very improtant to us and we like to share it with people we care about. I suppose that it comes down to this:4 1/2 years of romance and nearly twice as long of a friendship is not worth giving up because one of us took a few liberties with a good friend.Another thing that is 'totally-fucking-swell' (pardon my chauvinism) The Martian is bi and has messed around with some of our more attractive female friends- So most of the time when an instance of polyagamy happens, we're both there, and its with a woman- or two.*tries to remain humble*its a very loving relationship I am in- trust and jelousy are never an issue. Dom was right, it takes a specail kind of person to be that way. most people can't.N8.oh yeah- I'm also getting married in a year ------------------Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...[This message has been edited by N8 (edited 28 February 2002).][This message has been edited by N8 (edited 28 February 2002).]

Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...

Posted: 27th Feb 2002
yes, n8 and i have one of the more odd relationships where everyone we know says" how the hell do you make that work??" or "i just dont get it." like n8 said we aren't going to let little petty things like jealousy get between us. granted most of our experiences with others were when both of us were involved or at least in the room...but while i was at collage...let me tell you, i spent...no, i lived in a guy's room for like my first semester. and yes we did mess around. then the second semester that guy was gone so i lived in with another guy, same situation... plus a sleep naked. among all the other college non-monogamus events were join some threesomes, and messing around with two gorgeous females the other nights. most say i was cheating on him the whole time....wrong. diffence being... after each time i did something with someone other than him...i called him up or emailed him with details about my experiences, he was fine with it and almost every time his response was " that's awsome, hope it was a good time." and when he did had fun with the gorgeous women at his school , he did the same, called me and told me. (of course i had to make sure he was taking only the hot ones). i very positive that if we found the right women, we could live our life with three or more partners, in the same house, forever.so in short, polyamory is possible, only with a tiny few special people. maybe me being a martian helps and that's why it works . ------------------the music feeds my soul that glows and grows with every spin i take.

the music feeds my soul that glows and grows with every spin i take.

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
I've got a hamster...My g'friend of 3 years has gone off travelling for 6 months The hamster is a poor substitute (But the sex is good....)

Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
I am going to say this very bluntly and with as little emotion as possible. I personally find what some of you do with relationships as wrong. Call me old fashoned call me what you will, but I have always and will always believe in monogomy and saving yourself for your wife/husband, heck if a horny basterd like me can do it for 21 years then anybody can.Now dont get me wrong I am not judgeing people here you do have the right to your own opinion and you matters are your own, but I felf that I needed to voice mine seen as how I had yet to see anyone on here so far with an even similer view.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
I want to be N8, or Girl from Mars I dated a bi girl once. She had a tall, leggy, blonde boyfriend and girlfriend. We stopped seeing each other when she started falling in love with me. Oh well, such is life!

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
Thanks Raymund Thanks Dom

Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
Everyone has their own views on what's right/wrong.General rule for life is that you have to go with what you're comfortable with and what you're happy doing. And you're not allowed to hurt anyone else along the way. Then everyone's happy But it's not as easy as it sounds

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
Don't get me wrong when I say that but ... I don't want to be N8 or GFM. I totally respect that and surely understand when grown ups enjoy themselves I beleive in anybody's freedom to do what they want with their sensuality and feelings. However, when I am with someone, I really enjoy the one person I am with, which is why i chose them usually and they are enough for me. And jealousy ... well... I try not to be "jealous in anticipation" which means I don't get mad when a girl is around my man plus I trust him... but I don't think i could stand it if my man touches another woman...this is not how I think everyone should behave, but definitely just how I feel...Much fun and happiness to all of you though Shine onCassandra

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
Well.....i think i really agree pretty much exactly with cass. You hit the nail on the head there.If i am "with someone" in what i believe is a close relationship, i don't like to even think of the possibility of them being with someone else. not only does it scare me, but it really does feel like someone kicked you in the guts when you find out about it.As for my marrital status, im a swingin single.....unfortunatly.My best freind has just found a new girl, and they are doing the new relationship everything about the other person is perfect, im so happy thing. Which is something i really miss. Im actually getting to the stage where ive gotten shitty with them, coz it feels like theyre rubbing it in.....Which of course theyre not, im just a horrible person. i have no idea where this story is going so im gonna shutupcheersAPB

Good on usGood on us all

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
Well I'm married in a pollyamorus ( I know I spelled that wrong) relationship for going on now 10 years. IMO, when it comes to relationships it's all about being honest and communication.Now what would be the plural of spouce, Spice? ) ------------------Blessings to all, Peter "In motion, move like a thundering wave. When still, be like a mountain.Rising up, be like a monkey. Land swiftly and lightly like a bird. Be steadylike a rooster on one leg. One's stance is as firm as a pine tree, yetexpresses motion. Spin swiftly and circularly like a wheel. Bend and flexlike a bow. Waft gracefully like a leaf in the wind. Sink like a heavy pieceof metal. Prey like a watchful, gliding eagle. Accelerate like a gusty wind." Wushu Proverb

Blessings to all,
Peter
When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered Dragon, remember, you do not have to outrun the Dragon ...you just have to outrun the halfling.

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
(::wondering if Ray's biggest problem is the Polyamory or the bisexuality:: )I gave up women for Whipping Boy. Not that the desire isn't there on some days, it is. Not that he asked me to, he didn't. I just know him well enough to know he doesn't like sharing, and that is alright with me. I think that is key to making relationships last, knowing the other person better than they know themselves, and PWB and I do.It does take special people for polyamory and/or swinging to work. It also takes special people for the bi thing to work and I applaude both GFM and N8 for having the strength to do what makes them happy, especially against the grain of such overwhelming social norms.I also want to applaude Ray for a similar kind of strength. I have a few friends who are still holding out (and they are in upper 20's-lower 30's) for that special someone, for various reasons other than social principle, but it takes alot of strength and courage to do that as well in today's society where sex is used to sell everything from chewing gum to shampoo. Good for you Ray!Good for you all! ------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...https://www.pyromorph.com[This message has been edited by Pele (edited 01 March 2002).]

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
Thanks PeleMost social norms are a restriction for me. that's why I don't follow too many of them.------------------Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...

Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...

Posted: 1st Mar 2002
pele-thanx, and if PWB didn't steel your heart i would ask you to join n8 and i.Steel-congrates on making it work for so long, its definately a communication and trust thing.raymund- i appreciate everyones opinion, thanx for expressing yours.Cass- almost everyone doesn't ever want to be n8 and i.and just to set something near and dear to me straight , when i said messing around with other people i didnt' mean sex, everything else but, but not sex. i'm still a virgin and waiting to marry n8 to give it up, and he's the only one i would give it up for. ------------------the music feeds my soul that glows and grows with every spin i take.

the music feeds my soul that glows and grows with every spin i take.

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
Actually Pele personally I feel that both are wrong. But like I said I will not judge anyone no matter how much I really want to. Thank you for you compliments Pele.GFM that is an outstanding thing to hear. Now days it is very hard to find someone who is willing to wait, N8 be proud man you have found one of the needles in a hay stack.I am actually impressed at the openness of this topic and the maturity of which it is discussed.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
been withthe same wonderfull woman for 2 years and plan to get maried only so i can get french citizenship. hehehe. we have a gorgeous(im bias) 9month old baby boy by the way

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
oh yeah and im looking.but not touching.

Posted: 28th Feb 2002
On the button, Cass.Right now, the most exasperating of human beings known as my partner lives many km away. We have our own lives, yet I can't see myself with anyone else right now. He does me good.I generally choose to be with just one person, because for me it gets messy if there are others. But I have full respect for those who can cope with more, and experience all those different degrees and types of affection at once. R.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Posted: 1st Mar 2002
single, looking, and considering going the way of the cloth...but not officially. (hard to be a pagan monk. )------------------"life begins between the night and the light."

life begins between the night and the light.

Posted: 1st Mar 2002
Warning: Freeform thinking and typing ahead! The scroll bar is there ---->>This thread reminds me of a series of program I saw on TV once which looked at relationship models and the some of the theory behind them. An interesting one was the practice of no sex before marriage. Most religions state that this is the way that everyone should act. When they looked into why this was there were 3 answers.1- A lot of the religious folk fell back on the old 'Because god says so in the bible' routine, which gets nothing from me. Everything has a reason, so we move on...2- There's the 'Saving yourself for your husband/wife' routine, and people live by this. This sentiment I respect, it takes a lot of restraint and future love. Personally, tis not for me. I don't think that a marriage is what all previous relationships are leading up to (I know people who hold this view and attach an all or nothing sentiment to relationships). As such when I'm in a relationships I think special enough, I give myself away bodily and mentally (which is by far more important to me).3- Then a Rabbi spoke. I've always admired the way Jews analyse their religion and laws as a way of increasing their strength. He admitted that one of a religions' main ancient aims was to control a population and prevent trouble and strife from undermining that control. In the old days communities and people's circle of acquaintances were a lot smaller, making communities tightly knit and susceptible to internal politics. People usually married young to somebody they'd known since childhood. So chances are that sticking to this religious rule wasn't that hard. There was a large social stigma attached to anyone who didn't abide by the social and religious rules.His reasonings continued along the lines that most people get jealous. If you know that your spouse has had previous partners there's the chance that you'll think you're being compared and judged to their past. In a small community the chances are that the previous partner was somebody you knew and this would make it worse. This destabilizes someone's emotional security with their partner's love for them and makes family splits more likely. So only ever having one main relationship and sexual partner makes life a lot easier!In the modern world the old controls and social pressures are off. Traditions of celibacy are rare. 100 years ago a lot of married couples hardly slept together, now people are sexually free. We meet more people of more variety, and are subjected to more ideals and possibilities than ever before in history. In this world an emotionally unstable partner has more to fear due to their being more possible temptation. The stigma and hassle of short relationships, sex before marriage and divorce has generally been removed, and this gives people the opportunity to easily carry out such actions without dreading the consequences.People are now a lot more open minded and self aware than they used to be. Having more experiences and options means that you're likely to work out something that suits you best. However that freedom also means that people need the maturity, responsibility and self control to wield this power and not live thier life purely on whims.Brief summary, as before. As long as you're doing what you're doing because it suits you and those around you best, then great. If you're doing something through social, emotional or religious pressure, then that's wrong.Oh dear, what a long rant. Not really sure what the point was, but hope you enjoyed it!

Posted: 1st Mar 2002
That was very interesting Dom, thank you so much for putting it up here. I understand what the Rabbi said, but have to point out it only works for certain religions and "ancient" peoples. Look at many of the Asian emporers, African Kings and even some Pharoahs, who had hundreds of children and dozens of wives/mistresses. Polyamory was a given, mostly for the men (alpha male syndrome anyone???) and was concidered a social norm.In greek history you married for politics but had sex with whomever (again for men, but some women defied the law). It was a way of fun, tension release and showing appreciation to another person you care about, in this way bisexuality was also accpted. (History Channel had the full week of documentaries on sex in ancient cultures. I strongly urge anyone to check it out when it replays as it was most interesting. Also the book "Sex and the Spirit" by Time Life and the original philosophies of the Kama Sutra.)Or many of the British Lords who would keep having children so as to have many sons so they could have a garunteed heir. People also did not live as long, nor in as broad a scale as we do, so population concerns were not really an issue to most.Bravo on the don't do it for social, religious or whatever acceptance statement Dom! Being true to yourself is the biggest step in happiness!!!Can I put this thought out there, as appalling as it might be to some? I have seen couples who have saved themselves for marriage, who were absolutely, madly in love and once they got married, something was lacking in the bedroom that caused so much tension in the marriage it ate at that love. Sometimes I think if there is an intended committment you need to test the merchandise to make sure you are fully happy with it and that things can be worked with before making the final purchase! But that is my theory. GFM and N8...you know I love ya!!! (Thanks for the almost offer!) ------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...https://www.pyromorph.com

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 1st Mar 2002
Interesting info Pele, and thanks.As to people getting married then discovering bedroom 'deficiencies' this maybe due to an all round 'frigidness' and unconquered inhibition, partially caused by the no sex before marriage rule, but probably exists elsewhere as well. I’m sure that for most people our first sexual experiences were not our greatest, and it takes time to develop. A friend of mine dated this girl who’d had a string of partners, was beautiful but had a low self esteem and body image that meant that she failed in the bedroom. The physical aspects of a relationship should be joined with and in tune with the emotional side. Without openness, trust, communication, fun and a lot of laughter the physical side of any relationship is going to be a bit lame.By the sounds of it GFM and N8 are comfortable with themselves and won’t face any problems!

Posted: 1st Mar 2002
N8, GFM having troubles with english sometimes, I just hope you were not offended by what I said. I *really* did not mean to sound judgemental or rude or even critisize...shine onCassandra

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

Posted: 1st Mar 2002
Cassandra,Not in the least my dear. We're very much used to people not understanding our relaitionship and not wanting to have one like ours. Don't be up upset, I wasn't ------------------Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...

Care of other people's approval and you become their prisoner.Live fully, Rave wholly.Fluid are the movements of my strings...