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Forums > Social Chat > Are you ready to be a parent?

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ViciousVixen


member
Location: Oklahoma City, OK, USA

Total posts: 103

xbutterflyxcorpsex


member
Location: Wales

Total posts: 4
Posted:IT's official...Im ready to have children...heh...LIES! thats Tres amusing, well done for find it !!
xx


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Mistress Aurora


Mistress Aurora

Hot Schtuff
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX

Total posts: 1032
Posted:I didn't take the test because I know I don't want ANY kids!

Dio said when my maternal instincts kick in he is gonna get me my German Shepard puppy!



RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.

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ViciousVixen


member
Location: Oklahoma City, OK, USA

Total posts: 103
Posted:Tiff, it's actually not a test, per se. It's more like instructions on how to change your life so it matches what it would be like if you had kids. Just go read it. It's very funny, and meant to turn everyone off from having kids. hehe

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Mistress Aurora


Mistress Aurora

Hot Schtuff
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX

Total posts: 1032
Posted:I think that one German commercial Dio had on his comp would turn anybody off to the idea of having kids!

Ok I go read it



RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.

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Mistress Aurora


Mistress Aurora

Hot Schtuff
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX

Total posts: 1032
Posted:Ok just finished reading it. I feel sorry for my mom now! She had four of us kids to handle. No wonder she has so many grey hairs on her head!


RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.

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diabodandy


member
Location: Dallas

Total posts: 3
Posted:hehe.. I have three kids. It's actually worse than that. They mention nothing about the carpet. You can't have carpet and children in the same house.

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Shibaki


enthusiast
Location: Tampa, Fl

Total posts: 309
Posted:wow... that sure doesnt sound very promising ill tell you.

however... and i am speaking from my heart here, and in reality it could be totally wrong, because i do not KNOW

but this is raising a child in a western, more economically advantaged, country.
do the same rules apply everywhere with all kids? i am sure kids will be kids anywhere, anytime, but i can not help but think that it is the culture and the parenting style which largely determines how a child will be through early years. i do know that we teach people, including children, how to treat us. this doesnt mean of course that the entire process is parent --> childs, but it is really 2-way.

but anyways... no... i am definitely not ready for children at this point in my life!


Wow

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:They forgot the changing diapers part.

Actually, of all the skills I've learned in medical school, that might be the most useful. I learned how to change a diaper. My cheat, though, is that I got to wear latex gloves to do it.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Spanner
BRONZE Member since Feb 2003

Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...

Total posts: 2790
Posted:quote:Originally posted by diabodandy:
They mention nothing about the carpet. You can't have carpet and children in the same house. Don't get me started...

I'm so glad my carpets are red, it hides the spilled blackcurrant juice very well!


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:even after all that... I still want one.. found the perfect man.. I want a little one of him to look after.. BUT - not for a very long time yet..

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:And that test only covers through toddler-hood, though funny and accurate. (love the goat in the grocery store!)

Forgetting that past that there is....

Having to get him up in the morning for school. It requires flipping the mattress with him on it.

Getting him dressed. The current arguement is the requirement to properly wear a belt because he will get laughed out of school when his pants fall down.

And this isn't even touching on the great shower debates that occur!

Eating. Oh god! It takes precious time away from tv, games, outdoors, legos, drawing, picking his nose...who knows? The idea of sitting down and actually consuming a meal with the family is approached as some form of medieval torture.

The convenient statement of "I don't know" If I never hear these words again, I will die a happy women.

I was once told that after infancy it gets easier. They are more independent (it's a ruse!)
and able to communicate, which means they can argue, scream, and tell you off. Great!
I really miss the days that I could put Noah down and come back and he would still be in the same place. Of course, that was 8 years ago.
But, on the flip side, nothing replaces when he runs up to me (especially in front of his friends) and wraps his arms around my waist, kisses me and tells me he loves me. That is what makes it all worth it!

And, my son is 8 1/2. I am still not ready to be a parent!


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Pele'sWhippingBoy


member
Location: Rochester, NY, USA

Total posts: 442
Posted:I found this a while ago and thought that it fit the nature of this thread:

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX (poor woman)
Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 foot room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already toolate.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their bodyweight when dizzy.


FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Which is the reason I have foregone ceiling fans in my home/apartments.

Did you also know that potted plant dirt is a real bi-atch to get out of a green shag carpet, and doesn't resemble grass, no matter how hard your 3 year old insists it does.

I think the women in the pervious post needs to tame her children a bit! lol


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Charles
BRONZE Member since Jun 2001

Charles

Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland

Total posts: 3989
Posted:Don't forget having to politely tell the inlaws that rules your wife and you make for the child don't change when either of us leave the room.

And then said inlaw yelling at you at the top of her voice, refusing to talk to you or visit and making your wife upset for weeks.




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