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SpinnerofDetroitGOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA


Posted:
Oh my god! I saw this and had to share it with you guys. And btw, this student received an A+. Please take the time to read this, it is amazing lolsign

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin


willworkforfoodjnrSILVER Member
Hunting robot foxes
1,046 posts
Location: Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, England (UK)


Posted:
Superb smile

Working hard to be a wandering hippie layabout. Ten years down, five to go!


EeraBRONZE Member
old hand
1,107 posts
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Australia


Posted:
I was going to go into an atheist rant about how religion has no place in a science exam.

Then I thought it sounded more like an urban myth.

Lo and behold, apparently it actually dates back to a humour piece written in a science journal in 1920.

There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.


liquidtrancei dream in circles...
336 posts
Location: Scotland


Posted:
that is magic

even chuck norris can't pin you down if your on fire


JamethGOLD Member
enthusiast
378 posts
Location: NSW, Australia


Posted:
I had seen it before although I didn't know it was that old: as SoD said it's both clever and funny, it deserves immortality.

Another one:

Microbiology exam paper misprint in which the quesion said "right short notes on the gnoccus"

Most students commented the question should have read "right short notes on the gonococcus" and proceeded to do so.

One student wrote: "there is no such orgasm" and received a distinction. grin

Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
I figured that it was an urban myth, but that's quite old!

And even though it's not written by a uni student, I really do take my hat off to the people who have that sort of wit!

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Zephyre PhoenixFamiliar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
1,264 posts
Location: Lawrence, KS


Posted:
haha beautifully done. Pardon my tiredness but the orgasm one flew over my head a bit. But epic funnyness

Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!


Mother_Natures_SonSILVER Member
Rampant whirler.
2,418 posts
Location: Geelong, Victoria, Australia!


Posted:
I think the joke is that it should have read "There is no such organism" but since the publishers had been so lax in their printing, so would the student.

hug


astonSILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa


Posted:
Not sure if it is translation decay, but "right" should be "write". Silly homophones....

'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland


Mr MajestikSILVER Member
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia


Posted:
very obviously a joke, but great never the less smile

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


Fine_Rabid_DogInternet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...


Posted:
I broke my 56k modem laughing at that one.

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."


WyattDavisSpinsGOLD Member
WYATTSPINSPOI
69 posts
Location: UTAH, USA


Posted:
Oh my goodness that was hillarious

Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
Originally Posted By: Fine_Rabid_DogI broke my 56k modem laughing at that one.

56k modem? And here I was thinking it was more like my typeset printer wink

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Seaspraystranger by the day
924 posts
Location: At the Back of the North Wind


Posted:
I need to work out how you configure my abacus properly. It's refusing to let me play Counterstrike

Just a dancer in the dark


astonSILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa


Posted:
I must actually get hold of an abacus again....

So much fun using those when everyone else has a calculator and you get to the same answer, nearly as fast.

'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland


Mr MajestikSILVER Member
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia


Posted:
i broke my abacus trying to make 3.14 frown

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


astonSILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa


Posted:
Has some basics on advanced stuff with an abacus: https://webhome.idirect.com/~totton/soroban/

;D

'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland


Pommy BubblesGOLD Member
stranger
20 posts
Location: Perth, WA, Australia


Posted:
that has made my day. that is classic!

Zephyre PhoenixFamiliar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
1,264 posts
Location: Lawrence, KS


Posted:
an abacus...? confused2

laugh3

Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!


Fire_MooseSILVER Member
Elusive and Bearded
3,597 posts
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, USA


Posted:
You guys hear about that "student answer" that went something like this....?


Question: What is courage?

Student Answer: This is.

O.B.E.S.E.

Owned by Mynci!


SpinnerofDetroitGOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA


Posted:
Oh god, I want to do that next year if possible. I have psychology grin

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin


astonSILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa


Posted:
Originally Posted By: Ascilithan abacus...? confused2

laugh3

Pleasepleaseplease tell me you are not serious? I will forgive someone not knowing what a sliderule is, but an abacus? You must have played with one when in kindergarten or thereabouts to learn what numbers are, surely?

'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland


Zephyre PhoenixFamiliar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
1,264 posts
Location: Lawrence, KS


Posted:
nonono, i know what that is. I'm just wondering how it made his day. lol

Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!


SpinnerofDetroitGOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA


Posted:
I personally have no clue how one begins to work, or how it can. But I do on the other hand, know how to use a slide rule. Only after my chem teacher showed us with his person-sized slide rule. Yes it's actually bigger than him now that I think of it.

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin


astonSILVER Member
Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
4,061 posts
Location: South Africa


Posted:
Slide beads along a wire. Easy. tongue2

Ascilith: I think that was refering to the OP....

'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland


Zephyre PhoenixFamiliar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
1,264 posts
Location: Lawrence, KS


Posted:
oh, wow, k i fail lol. blonde moment of the week

Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!


RingshadowSILVER Member
journeyman
81 posts
Location: SW Michigan, United States, USA


Posted:
There was a guy in my Mandarin class in a philosophy class who did a variation of a mentioned theme.

Question: What is risk?

Him: This is.

Final Grade: A.

My favorite from the internets is the picture of a test where instead of answering the question, the student drew a whale, an received credit.

/a whale is fine too

Happiness is a skill, not a commodity
I have been kidnapped by hooping.


Icarus FordeBRONZE Member
Just Icarus//Spinner//Pyro//Geek
261 posts
Location: New Zealand


Posted:
Originally Posted By: RingshadowThere was a guy in my Mandarin class in a philosophy class who did a variation of a mentioned theme.

Question: What is risk?

Him: This is.

Final Grade: A.

My favorite from the internets is the picture of a test where instead of answering the question, the student drew a whale, an received credit.

/a whale is fine too

Brilliant.

I tried this one in one of my exams... First year we had algebra, and I hated it:


Non-Https Image Link

SpinnerofDetroitGOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA


Posted:
I almost did that on one. What did the teacher do?

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin


Chloe'GOLD Member
enthusiast
324 posts
Location: SouthDakota, USA


Posted:
I'm a math person. So when I found that picture it automatically went on my phone haha.

Listen to Your heartbeat and dance...


SpinnerofDetroitGOLD Member
All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
2,280 posts
Location: Trenton, MI, USA


Posted:
I've decided I'm going to do it sometime.

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin


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