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Forums > Social Chat > Best Exam Answer Ever!

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SpinnerofDetroit
GOLD Member since Oct 2009

SpinnerofDetroit

All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
Location: Trenton, MI, USA

Total posts: 2280
Posted:Oh my god! I saw this and had to share it with you guys. And btw, this student received an A+. Please take the time to read this, it is amazing lolsign

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin

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willworkforfoodjnr
SILVER Member since Aug 2007

willworkforfoodjnr

Hunting robot foxes
Location: Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, ...

Total posts: 1046
Posted:Superb smile

Working hard to be a wandering hippie layabout. Ten years down, five to go!

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Eera
BRONZE Member since May 2003

old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Austral...

Total posts: 1107
Posted:I was going to go into an atheist rant about how religion has no place in a science exam.

Then I thought it sounded more like an urban myth.

Lo and behold, apparently it actually dates back to a humour piece written in a science journal in 1920.


There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

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liquidtrance


liquidtrance

i dream in circles...
Location: Scotland

Total posts: 336
Posted:that is magic

even chuck norris can't pin you down if your on fire

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Jameth
GOLD Member since May 2008

Jameth

enthusiast
Location: NSW, Australia

Total posts: 378
Posted:I had seen it before although I didn't know it was that old: as SoD said it's both clever and funny, it deserves immortality.

Another one:

Microbiology exam paper misprint in which the quesion said "right short notes on the gnoccus"

Most students commented the question should have read "right short notes on the gonococcus" and proceeded to do so.

One student wrote: "there is no such orgasm" and received a distinction. grin


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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:I figured that it was an urban myth, but that's quite old!

And even though it's not written by a uni student, I really do take my hat off to the people who have that sort of wit!


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Zephyre Phoenix


Zephyre Phoenix

Familiar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
Location: Lawrence, KS

Total posts: 1264
Posted:haha beautifully done. Pardon my tiredness but the orgasm one flew over my head a bit. But epic funnyness

Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!

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Mother_Natures_Son
SILVER Member since Aug 2007

Mother_Natures_Son

Rampant whirler.
Location: Geelong, Victoria, Australia!

Total posts: 2418
Posted:I think the joke is that it should have read "There is no such organism" but since the publishers had been so lax in their printing, so would the student.

hug

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aston
SILVER Member since Dec 2007

aston

Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
Location: South Africa

Total posts: 4061
Posted:Not sure if it is translation decay, but "right" should be "write". Silly homophones....

'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

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Mr Majestik
SILVER Member since Mar 2004

Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear,...

Total posts: 4693
Posted:very obviously a joke, but great never the less smile

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

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Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:I broke my 56k modem laughing at that one.

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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WyattDavisSpins
GOLD Member since Dec 2009

WyattDavisSpins

WYATTSPINSPOI
Location: UTAH, USA

Total posts: 69
Posted:Oh my goodness that was hillarious

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:Originally Posted By: Fine_Rabid_DogI broke my 56k modem laughing at that one.

56k modem? And here I was thinking it was more like my typeset printer wink


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Seaspray


Seaspray

stranger by the day
Location: At the Back of the North Wind

Total posts: 924
Posted:I need to work out how you configure my abacus properly. It's refusing to let me play Counterstrike

Just a dancer in the dark

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aston
SILVER Member since Dec 2007

aston

Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
Location: South Africa

Total posts: 4061
Posted:I must actually get hold of an abacus again....

So much fun using those when everyone else has a calculator and you get to the same answer, nearly as fast.


'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

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Mr Majestik
SILVER Member since Mar 2004

Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear,...

Total posts: 4693
Posted:i broke my abacus trying to make 3.14 frown

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

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aston
SILVER Member since Dec 2007

aston

Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
Location: South Africa

Total posts: 4061
Posted:Has some basics on advanced stuff with an abacus: http://webhome.idirect.com/~totton/soroban/
br>
;D


'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

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Pommy Bubbles
GOLD Member since Aug 2005

Pommy Bubbles

stranger
Location: Perth, WA, Australia

Total posts: 20
Posted:that has made my day. that is classic!

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Zephyre Phoenix


Zephyre Phoenix

Familiar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
Location: Lawrence, KS

Total posts: 1264
Posted:an abacus...? confused2

laugh3


Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!

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Fire_Moose
SILVER Member since May 2007

Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, USA

Total posts: 3597
Posted:You guys hear about that "student answer" that went something like this....?


Question: What is courage?

Student Answer: This is.


O.B.E.S.E.

Owned by Mynci!

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SpinnerofDetroit
GOLD Member since Oct 2009

SpinnerofDetroit

All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
Location: Trenton, MI, USA

Total posts: 2280
Posted:Oh god, I want to do that next year if possible. I have psychology grin

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin

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aston
SILVER Member since Dec 2007

aston

Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
Location: South Africa

Total posts: 4061
Posted:Originally Posted By: Ascilithan abacus...? confused2

laugh3

Pleasepleaseplease tell me you are not serious? I will forgive someone not knowing what a sliderule is, but an abacus? You must have played with one when in kindergarten or thereabouts to learn what numbers are, surely?


'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

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Zephyre Phoenix


Zephyre Phoenix

Familiar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
Location: Lawrence, KS

Total posts: 1264
Posted:nonono, i know what that is. I'm just wondering how it made his day. lol

Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!

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SpinnerofDetroit
GOLD Member since Oct 2009

SpinnerofDetroit

All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
Location: Trenton, MI, USA

Total posts: 2280
Posted:I personally have no clue how one begins to work, or how it can. But I do on the other hand, know how to use a slide rule. Only after my chem teacher showed us with his person-sized slide rule. Yes it's actually bigger than him now that I think of it.

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin

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aston
SILVER Member since Dec 2007

aston

Unofficial Chairperson of Squirrel Defense League
Location: South Africa

Total posts: 4061
Posted:Slide beads along a wire. Easy. tongue2

Ascilith: I think that was refering to the OP....


'We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad." [said the Cat.]
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "Or you wouldn't have come here."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Delete

Zephyre Phoenix


Zephyre Phoenix

Familiar stranger giving out popcorn. (formerly Ascilith)
Location: Lawrence, KS

Total posts: 1264
Posted:oh, wow, k i fail lol. blonde moment of the week

Never take candy from strangers...... But popcorn is okay!

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Ringshadow
SILVER Member since Oct 2009

Ringshadow

journeyman
Location: SW Michigan, United States, US...

Total posts: 81
Posted:There was a guy in my Mandarin class in a philosophy class who did a variation of a mentioned theme.

Question: What is risk?

Him: This is.

Final Grade: A.

My favorite from the internets is the picture of a test where instead of answering the question, the student drew a whale, an received credit.

/a whale is fine too


Happiness is a skill, not a commodity
I have been kidnapped by hooping.

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Icarus Forde
BRONZE Member since Apr 2010

Icarus Forde

Just Icarus//Spinner//Pyro//Geek
Location: New Zealand

Total posts: 261
Posted:Originally Posted By: RingshadowThere was a guy in my Mandarin class in a philosophy class who did a variation of a mentioned theme.

Question: What is risk?

Him: This is.

Final Grade: A.

My favorite from the internets is the picture of a test where instead of answering the question, the student drew a whale, an received credit.

/a whale is fine too

Brilliant.

I tried this one in one of my exams... First year we had algebra, and I hated it:


Non-Https Image Link


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SpinnerofDetroit
GOLD Member since Oct 2009

SpinnerofDetroit

All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
Location: Trenton, MI, USA

Total posts: 2280
Posted:I almost did that on one. What did the teacher do?

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin

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Chloe'
GOLD Member since Jan 2009

Chloe'

enthusiast
Location: SouthDakota, USA

Total posts: 324
Posted:I'm a math person. So when I found that picture it automatically went on my phone haha.

Listen to Your heartbeat and dance...

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SpinnerofDetroit
GOLD Member since Oct 2009

SpinnerofDetroit

All High Dude, Ruler of What You Want
Location: Trenton, MI, USA

Total posts: 2280
Posted:I've decided I'm going to do it sometime.

The only luck is bad luck.

Shut up before I stall my poi up your ass grin

Delete

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