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Forums > Social Chat > Zombie attack! What would you do?

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Clairebe
Clairebe

Destroyer of kitchen appliances
Location: Liverpool, UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 180
Posted:I'm sure I'm not alone in sometimes thinking about what I'd do if there really was an outbreak of zombies. I used to work in a cinema where talking about zombies and making plans was one of the most popular conversation topics.



So... Zombies are in the streets, society is collapsing all around you, the government no longer exists.



What do you do?


My brain is about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but unfortunately not as tasty.

Squueee!

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:Well, if you've ever seen Shaun of the Dead, you just pretend to be a Zombie. simple smile

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Aurinko
Aurinko

hello!
Location: Amsterdam
Member Since: 1st Aug 2006
Total posts: 1034
Posted:a friend of mine always used to say: when there is a monster coming, you don't need to be able to run that fast. Just always make sure there's at least one person around who is still slower than you.
So my guess: look for someone who is slower than me?


a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006

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Clairebe
Clairebe

Destroyer of kitchen appliances
Location: Liverpool, UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 180
Posted:The whole 'make sure that I'm with someone who's slower' does work for monsters, but I don't think it would for zombies. They're pretty slow already and the sheer number of them would mean it would take very little time for them to get your friend (who becomes one and is therefore a threat) and then get you.

My brain is about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but unfortunately not as tasty.

Squueee!

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Aurinko
Aurinko

hello!
Location: Amsterdam
Member Since: 1st Aug 2006
Total posts: 1034
Posted:then I'll make it: find many people that are slower than me

a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006

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FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:Maybe invite him on a "Bloody Mary"?

the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:I'm crap at fighting, so I figure walk up to one, give him a big hug, and hope he makes it relatively quick and painless.


Non-Https Image Link


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:* Shoot them in the head
* A HUGE katana sword to behead them (if no katana, a chainsaw will suffice).
* They're still afraid of fire (shouldn't be a problem for us)so have a deodorant can and a lighter handy...

As for government, as far as I can tell it's every man for himself... Anyone got dibs on the Trafford Centre in Manchester? Or the Isle of Wight?

If the worst comes to the worst save a bullet for yourself...


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Clairebe
Clairebe

Destroyer of kitchen appliances
Location: Liverpool, UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 180
Posted:Nononono - shopping centres are amongst the WORST places you can hole up in. They're really difficult to fortify - most of them have a massive main entrance that involves glass, so even if you do manage to barracade the main door, you still have to find a way of bricking up the glass.

Add to that the fact that most zombies tend to stick with things that are familiar; they'll more than likely gravitate towards a shopping centre. Also, in a shopping centre you have a lot of entrances and exits which make it difficult to police and you'd probably run out of food quite quickly.

That makes the Trafford Centre a big 'no' for me. Isle of Wight sounds promising, but how would you get there?


My brain is about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but unfortunately not as tasty.

Squueee!

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Speed boat... Bring a herd of sheep. Erm, you know... for food rolleyes

Actually sod Isle of Wright, I have dibs on Cyprus.

I'm actually looking forward to something like this! Gives me an excuse to have a dog-eat-dog nomadic extistance. The zombie movies tend to show that no matter how bad the zombie problem gets, the living humans can be even worse!


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Clairebe
Clairebe

Destroyer of kitchen appliances
Location: Liverpool, UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 180
Posted:Oh yes. It would give you a valid reason to be completely selfish and violent - both things that secretly appeal to a lot of people.

This whole thread came about because I'm moving cities - I need a new 'in case of zombies' plan now; one for Liverpool instead of Preston.

So far, I'm at the stage of stealing bike leathers to offer more protection against bites, should I find myself having to go out into zombie-infested streets without a vehicle.


My brain is about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but unfortunately not as tasty.

Squueee!

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Posted:Post deleted by Patrick the Bubba Badger

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Posted: Written by: Patrick the Bubba Badger


 Written by: Clairebe

What do you do?



Generally, stay away from television sets. wink

As this is the surest way to turn someone into a zombie. tongue


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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Jeez. Most people tend to worry about the removal vans and making new friends... tongue

What was your plan for Preston?


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Clairebe
Clairebe

Destroyer of kitchen appliances
Location: Liverpool, UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 180
Posted:Ah - but most of my friends live in Liverpool already and I'm using my dad's van. All the practical side is sorted really. Leaving my brain, naturally, to turn to zombies. (Not really - was having a fairly weird MSN conversation which started me thinking.)

Preston - basic plan was to get out from wherever I happened to be, probably by stealing a car; get to Entwistle guns on Plungington road and load up on weapons and ammo, then head over to the UCI (now Odeon) and meet up with other survivors. We'd use the cinema as the base (good location, all on one level, all entrances can be locked and fortified) whilst making supply runs to the Morrisons on the other side of the dock.

The plan from there included gradually clearing the surrounding area of zombies and freeing up other locations to use as bases.

This plan was a result of working long and sometimes boring shifts at the cinema with other zombie obsessed people - it's not just my own plan.


My brain is about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but unfortunately not as tasty.

Squueee!

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TheBovrilMonkey
TheBovrilMonkey

Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England
Member Since: 3rd Sep 2001
Total posts: 2629
Posted:You should definately read this.

I was actually thinking about stuff like this t'other day. Not necessarily zombies, but there's a fair few things that could screw us up enough to need a survival plan.

I reckon I'd be off to somewhere remote with as many of my friends as I can grab at short notice. Hopefully we'd find something to fortify and try to wait it out.


But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

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Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:Oh oh oh I know where Plungington rd is smile I travel up it on the 23 to get to work at the Homeserve Building across from Asda.



Ive been thinking aout this all week, except I make it romantic and daydream (erm is this normal) that me and my boyfriend are on the run together, he dosent do much except run around and get upset and get ots of hug off me, and I walk around with some sort of japanese sword which I use to cut the zombies to bits with and come to his rescue.



Ide go around with a sword, forget guns they run out of ammo to fast, andwith a sword you could be all fast and swift and just avoid being bitten. Move in circles and chop of arms first then head, legs inbetween if you felt like it.



Also couse I live on a farm and can drive tractors ide in the initial days of zombie madness, ferry people around with a trailor on it.


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Clairebe
Clairebe

Destroyer of kitchen appliances
Location: Liverpool, UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 180
Posted:I know where Homeserve is - I used to work there. I left after about two months though.ubblol

That's good plan and yes, day-dreaming is normal. Guns featured only in my plan as a temporary measure to get to safety. It's incredibly difficult to get ammo for them in the UK anyway.


My brain is about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but unfortunately not as tasty.

Squueee!

Delete

Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:Well actually I was thinking more along the lines of is it normal including a zombie appocolypse in romantic daydreams LOL

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Kathain_Bowen
Kathain_Bowen

Good Ol' Yarn For Hair
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Member Since: 24th Jan 2006
Total posts: 422
Posted: Written by: Clairebe


So... Zombies are in the streets, society is collapsing all around you, the government no longer exists.

What do you do?



I would refer to my handy-dandy Zombie Survival Guide based off of what class of outbreak it is, and based off of the potential chance for the outbreak to increase in class type.

However, if the particular zombie outbreak was anything like I LUV HALLOWEEN, I would have loads of fun both skipping about shouting "Hiccuh-heet" with them, trick or treating for entrails, and spanking theys brown bottoms to keep the chonklit monkeys from making the poo pies for the picnic with their Duran Duran cds.


"So long and thanks for all the fish."

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Skulduggery
Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales
Member Since: 12th Aug 2004
Total posts: 8428
Posted:You better all buy houseboats, then you can sail away :d That is my plan. Bov hun, you can come with Jon and me hug

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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Just_Another_Clown
Just_Another_Clown

old hand
Location: London
Member Since: 1st Jul 2005
Total posts: 965
Posted:A good place to be is graveyads, apparently. As the bodies there are so decomposed that they wouldn't be able to move, and any that do are 6ft under ground. And the lack of live things turns zombies away from graveyards biggrin biggrin

( O and have a small army with an arsenal of shotguns if it comes down to zombies attacking) smile


Q:"How many Jugglers Does it take to change a light bulb?"
A:"One, but another 99 others saying,'I could do that if I only practised more'" biggrin biggrin

Gate Keeper to Shocked_Prawn. None may pass.

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Aurinko
Aurinko

hello!
Location: Amsterdam
Member Since: 1st Aug 2006
Total posts: 1034
Posted: Written by: Skulduggery


You better all buy houseboats, then you can sail away :d



That's handy. I'm living in Amsterdam, so: houseboats en masse


a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Failing that, a nailgun will suffice. biggrin

I have a pair of sai daggers which might come in handy for some pointy sai/eye interface.

Did anyone in the zombie films try to placate the zombies meat from the butchers? Or did they not bother to try it in the panic of running away in high-heel stilettos?


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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CalvinKlown
CalvinKlown

Eunathist
Location: Hy Brasil - For real now.
Member Since: 30th May 2006
Total posts: 280
Posted:N_S: Zombies prefer fresh meat.

Why is everyone so unprepared?
I've had my concrete bunker underground for ages. 5 Years rations in it, water filter system. So many weapons it's untrue. Brit Jo is right about the guns they run out of ammo, so only use as a last resort. I'll be using my swords, and bow for longer range. Eventual escape to mountain hut in the lake district if things get too bad. I'm sorted. Anyone need a place to run to?


Never lie down with someone who has more problems than you.

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Anyone have a combine harvester you can drive through the streets and 'Clean up the trash' at the same time as getting to your safe house?

"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:The thing is though you would need to be in some sort of walking distance to food sorces, what would that be? All the supermarkets would be the first things to get raided, and england isnt very self sufficiant with crops n stuff. It wouldnt take long for all the blackberry bushes to run out lol

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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mcp
mcp

Flying Water Muppet
Location: Edin-borrow.
Member Since: 20th May 2003
Total posts: 5276
Posted:It's clear to me from extensive research, that zombies can't climb. Their front limbs don't seem to work that way.



One of my plans would then to be to find a struturally sound yet delerict 3 story or higher building and destroy all of the first and maybe second floors. (Apart from any elements that were required to keep the building up. ) then just in case, remove any guttering / climbing elements on the side of the building. Then I would have a glorified tree house with out any threat of zombie entrance.



Maybe camping on top of some sort of hangar structure would have the same effect. Like a train shelter / plane hanger thing.



For transport, learning how to hotwire would be a super useful thing, so a quick trip to the library for one of those car manuals would be in order. (a mercedes van one preferably.) then a trip to a police station to steal a 'black mariah' as their known, or one of those police riot vans. Getting one equiped with guns and bullet proof vests would be a result. Hopefully they have toughened windows, but they definately have the windshield protector on them. I would go and try and add bullbars on the front if I was going long distances. (never stop for people loitering in the middle of the road, run them over!) Second option would be trying to get the keys to a securicor van or any of those money transporting service vans. Thirdly, a trip to the scottish parliment to see if they have any dignified armored cars in their basement and if not, a nice DHL van.



I personally don't think leather would be enough to resist zombies bites. Since zombies in most films can devour people pretty easily sometimes tearing them limb from limb, they don't have any qualms about biting as hard as is undeadly possibly, so I would go for a light metal armor from some reenactment shop or doubled up leathers with shin and forearm and elbow guards. Motocross armor if i could find it. But you wouldn't catch me galavanting around on foot, or on a motorbike with zombies around. It'd be the van or nothing.



Hopefully the police station would have some guns, but otherwise I'd obviously have my staff. A nail gun is definately for the win, with a back up portable angle grinder / drill of any kind. One of those high powered pulley system bows wouldn't go amiss, thou I'd need practise with it. A back up hammer just in case. Swords are a no-no in my book, cleanly detaching the head is very hard, and swords get stuck in vertebra and don't come out again if you don't have the precise technique. Destroying the brain is the best option in my book. The skull is very thin. Maybe retraining a police dog to bite in skulls would be a long term option... dogs go for the troat anyway training them for a bit higher up would be good, and dogs obviously are immune to zombism.



Molotov cocktails are not for the win... too unstable... but homemade flamethrowers could be. I would tend to shy away from immolation as a means of destroying zombies... too dangerous to be trapped in a burning building, or to have a zombie set you on fire... it's just too slow to be a useful method of killing them off. Possibly good as a short term deterrent, but no good for the long term, fuel wise.



And hell zombies would be a great time to have one of those completely preventable white gas accidents... maybe around the university... it couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of yahs....



Jesus, I really have too much time at work....


"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade

I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.

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87wt2gxq7
87wt2gxq7

veteran
Location: Birmingham
Member Since: 12th Apr 2005
Total posts: 1502
Posted:Last time I had this convo, the boys* were all "one katana and one wakisashi and I'll be a one-man zombie killin' machine!"

They didn't seem too impressed by the idea that you'd get really tired really quickly if all you did all day was lop off heads. Plus, after a few minutes of decapitatin' your blade would get covered in a layer of blood and fat which really reduces the effectiveness of your slicin'.

No way man! Long range weapons for me, some kind of automatic rifle for prefs.

*For completeness' sake, all the girls were "where are we gonna hide, where are we gonna get eats from?" which I think is a far more sensible consideration. I like the holeing up in a cinema idea. At least that way you could watch old zombie flicks for inspiration.. wink


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CalvinKlown
CalvinKlown

Eunathist
Location: Hy Brasil - For real now.
Member Since: 30th May 2006
Total posts: 280
Posted:"I would go for a light metal armor from some reenactment shop"- MCP

I've seen those torn by people just putting them on. Let nobody be fooled by re-enactment armour. Get yourself a load of sprung steel washers two pairs of pliars and start making now FTW. Or you'll be kicking yourself, when you get munched in the neck by some ex-londis worker.


Never lie down with someone who has more problems than you.

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mcp
mcp

Flying Water Muppet
Location: Edin-borrow.
Member Since: 20th May 2003
Total posts: 5276
Posted:rifles are good if you can use them... but for personal protection it's hard to aim for the head, heads are small. An automatic shotgun to knock them over and a desert eagle to plug their brains....

combine harvester is for the win! I love that idea! Getting one into the city would be trouble... but in the country it would be the bomb! probably get rapidly gummed up by zombie bits but would be worth it. A snow plough would also be useful.


"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade

I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.

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