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Forums > Social Discussion > Space Invaders - or how to fend them off in a nice way

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:Last night I rush to the beach for sunset and arrive just in time, stop in front of the beach shack and look out on the ocean... "SUNSET PLEASE" was the impatiently annoyed shout I received from the guy behind me (who I have not been aware of )... Fair enough, I buggered off - not really smiling, but in compassion



I perceive myself to be a "sad individual", measured by people who are so outright funny that even their insults make one laugh.... *envies*



The other day I sit with my mum on the terrace in her resort and we talk about dinner and where to go, when her neighbour pops out. By saying "hello" to him we opened a tap and he starts chatting endlessly about him being a fresh arrival, inquiring for all kinds of informations and such. As we go along I feel increasingly repulsed, then hear my brother call something like "timewaster" (in German) from behind and listen to myself joining the chorus saying "tick" (in German). The guy seemed to have gotten the message (most likely a Dutchman, regarding by his accent) and buggers off...



Which again brings me to my topic... "fend them off in a nice way"...



Some time back I walk up to a restroom and want to enter, opening the door and seeing a guy sitting there, answering natures call... getting censored angry and mad2 shouting at me that I should knock before entering a restroom... provoking nothing more than "why're you not (b)locking the door in the first place?"... help



There I am, 11pm at the party. Dancefloor PACKED but music very good and I felt like shakin' the booty... I need some space to dance or I could just do it in the subway. So out of courtesy for fellow freaks I move out of the shack and situate myself on the steps in front of it (beach shack with concrete steps)...



Taking the risk of falling down the steps in case of a wrong movement over the crowded dancefloor and am still enjoying myself when suddenly a small group of people started creeping into my space, sitting right next to me, leaving me no room to move but to make me feel as if on a busy dancefloor - just without all the people standing but sitting...



Didn't know whether to be amused or outright annoyed, as there has been plenty of space just a few metres to the side and finally I manage to express a smile and kindly ask the guy who was putting himself in a way that he virtually had to look at my bum all the time: "I hope you don't mind me dancing here, is it okay with you?"



Not picking up on the irony he replies: "Well thanks for asking, it would be nice if you'd move a little over to the side," pointing a few metres off.



Jawdropping I looked at him, shrugged off the upcoming anger and moved over just to enjoy myself for the next hour or so.



Tell me, you met space invaders? How you feel about them and (most important) how did you manage to fend them off, still leaving a smile on their faces? As this is a gift (or smart technique), getting what you want (your space) and still preserving other ppls dignity...



I'm curious.... smile

EDITED_BY: FireTom (1201143544)


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Fire Tom, thanks for the clarification. I get what you are asking about now.



I come across space invaders in clubs. Ive noticed (and from personal experience wink that as people get drunker they seem to loose balance, coordination, inhibitions and respect for personal space. In other situations, I think some people are just thoughtless or preoccupied by whats going on in their head.



As far as fending people off. I think its more to do with how you are being. Like, someone said another thread, about criminals targeting their victims by how the were being - slouched over, unobservant etc.

EDITED_BY: Stone (1201327926)


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:PM on the way, Stone. Pls return to topic or don't post.

Yes, you're right: Inquire within first. Ask yourself "why" but be quick, because the more you're caught up in pondering... there goes spontaneity.


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Fire Tom, perhaps its more about how we use body language.

Try a search, there is a stack of information out there on using body language to show people how we feel.


cheers smile


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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burningoftheclavey
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

burningoftheclavey

lurking like a ninja with no camouflage..
Location: over yonder, New Zealand

Total posts: 926
Posted: Written by: FireTom


ubblol I refer to "personal space" smile

Ever been at an Indian Railways counter (preferably Mumbai or Delhi)??? I mean you got this small window, where you could hardly squeeze through a Yorkshire terrier and you try to inquire when two guys come from the right and three from the left, all trying to jump the cue at the same time... shrug


ubblol sounds a bit squishy!

i like my dancing space so i can move freely...if i whack someone accidentally i always turn and give them a hands up 'sorry' gesture with a eek face! But i was in a club in edinburgh last night right at the front with enough room to go mental. But perhaps the trick is to be more spatially aware? so you can see people coming when theyre about to knock into you..(spinning has so somany advantages!);)

Personal space is a psychological thing, and depends how well you know people. Obviously its nice for strangers to stay out of personal space while talking or standing near (unless youre in a crowd this is highly unlikely..) while more closer aquaintances can get in a bit closer..some people have no idea of personal boundaries and can make people feel really uncomfortable..uhm..cant remember where i was going with this.. redface rolleyes


on spam robots - "Burn the robot! Melt him down, and then we can make lots and lots of money from his shiiiny juices!"

Owned by Brenn smile

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:smile



Thanks Stone. And you're right, it's very often intoxication and thoughtlessness (i.e. being unaware) or blatant selfishness that makes ppl "invade".



Mmmh why did I start this re "dancefloor space" (le sigh) and not with "restroom intrusions"?



Lianne: I appreciate ppl being apologetic when bumping into someone else on the dancefloor. It shows some respect for a fellow being. Sometimes I see those apologising who get bumped into....



"Spatial awareness"... How can one learn this? I mean this also applies to fire dancing (in festivals). Sometimes it's not so easy to keep away from the drunkards when they rush to the fire and one is spinning in ones own sphere... I would claim to have it, but no idea where it came from.



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the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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