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Forums > Social Discussion > Space Invaders - or how to fend them off in a nice way

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:Last night I rush to the beach for sunset and arrive just in time, stop in front of the beach shack and look out on the ocean... "SUNSET PLEASE" was the impatiently annoyed shout I received from the guy behind me (who I have not been aware of )... Fair enough, I buggered off - not really smiling, but in compassion



I perceive myself to be a "sad individual", measured by people who are so outright funny that even their insults make one laugh.... *envies*



The other day I sit with my mum on the terrace in her resort and we talk about dinner and where to go, when her neighbour pops out. By saying "hello" to him we opened a tap and he starts chatting endlessly about him being a fresh arrival, inquiring for all kinds of informations and such. As we go along I feel increasingly repulsed, then hear my brother call something like "timewaster" (in German) from behind and listen to myself joining the chorus saying "tick" (in German). The guy seemed to have gotten the message (most likely a Dutchman, regarding by his accent) and buggers off...



Which again brings me to my topic... "fend them off in a nice way"...



Some time back I walk up to a restroom and want to enter, opening the door and seeing a guy sitting there, answering natures call... getting censored angry and mad2 shouting at me that I should knock before entering a restroom... provoking nothing more than "why're you not (b)locking the door in the first place?"... help



There I am, 11pm at the party. Dancefloor PACKED but music very good and I felt like shakin' the booty... I need some space to dance or I could just do it in the subway. So out of courtesy for fellow freaks I move out of the shack and situate myself on the steps in front of it (beach shack with concrete steps)...



Taking the risk of falling down the steps in case of a wrong movement over the crowded dancefloor and am still enjoying myself when suddenly a small group of people started creeping into my space, sitting right next to me, leaving me no room to move but to make me feel as if on a busy dancefloor - just without all the people standing but sitting...



Didn't know whether to be amused or outright annoyed, as there has been plenty of space just a few metres to the side and finally I manage to express a smile and kindly ask the guy who was putting himself in a way that he virtually had to look at my bum all the time: "I hope you don't mind me dancing here, is it okay with you?"



Not picking up on the irony he replies: "Well thanks for asking, it would be nice if you'd move a little over to the side," pointing a few metres off.



Jawdropping I looked at him, shrugged off the upcoming anger and moved over just to enjoy myself for the next hour or so.



Tell me, you met space invaders? How you feel about them and (most important) how did you manage to fend them off, still leaving a smile on their faces? As this is a gift (or smart technique), getting what you want (your space) and still preserving other ppls dignity...



I'm curious.... smile

EDITED_BY: FireTom (1201143544)


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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fake teeth and glue
BRONZE Member since Aug 2003

fake teeth and glue

Checking who's online, watching you!
Location: somewhere

Total posts: 1972
Posted:i usually give them a bit of the old hieee yaaaa!

usually i just ignor people like that, its not worth my time, on the other hand if they are deliberately invading your space then confronting them about the situation and explaining what they are doing is not very nice, as they may not realize they are doing anything wrong at all and it might just be the thing everyone does so they do the same, then again in confronting them about it they may get defensive and it may ruin the atmosphere and evening.

well that didn't really help did it ubbrollsmile


you just lost the game!!!!!! !!!!!

knowledge is power, power corupts, study hard, become evil.

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:Not really FTAG... I am missing the smile in your approach wink

the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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fake teeth and glue
BRONZE Member since Aug 2003

fake teeth and glue

Checking who's online, watching you!
Location: somewhere

Total posts: 1972
Posted:ok, how about this:

you ignor them completely and keep on dancing and hope that they leave because they don't wan't a bum in thier face, unless they DO want a bum in thier face and thats why they are really there, in which case you may be gving the wrong signals.

or:

pretend to answer your phone and say: "yeah i'm alright except theres these people totally crowding me out but i don't think they realize so i'll probably just move away, ok yeah see you."

how's that? umm


you just lost the game!!!!!! !!!!!

knowledge is power, power corupts, study hard, become evil.

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:ubblol Sounds much better hug tho' the cell option is ruled out - as the music's been far too loud...

I'm a late bloomer: How 'bout the announcement that I wouldn't want to bum them out, but that's just the way I dance... *wiggles backside* [smirk]


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:I generally make smart arse comments to them.

"yeah it's totally find that you are breathing on me, you're welcome"


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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BansheeCat
BRONZE Member since Jul 2005

veteran
Location: lost

Total posts: 1247
Posted:I once drew a line in glowing chalk all around myself to signify the area I wanted to dance in. Much to my surprise, no one crossed the line. It really weirded people out, and everyone stayed well away!

"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

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Wooktastic
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Wooktastic

the kicker of elves
Location: Dublin

Total posts: 371
Posted:Where does one get this glowing chalk?

Man is no more than a conduit for excrement to pass through.- daVinci

Jointly owned by BurdA and Tinypixie

Wielder of the voice of Patrick Stewart

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burningoftheclavey
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

burningoftheclavey

lurking like a ninja with no camouflage..
Location: over yonder

Total posts: 926
Posted:yes i agree, i must find myself one of these mystical chalks..!

Generally there are areas of the dancefloor in which you will want to be. Right up at the front is normally packed, leaving little room for anything else apart from feet shuffling. (Good for the headbangers!bounce) Slightly further back you may find enough room to move in your body space, ie. no flailing arms involved. However if you go slightly further back than that, generally this is where you will find me(on a packed dancefloor anyway...if its not that busy i could be anywhere..or everywhere!) Here it can be fairly easy to push out your personal space (visualisation can come in handy here...push your glow out tom!sunny) If you're genuinely enjoying yourself most people are polite enough to give space for the two of you, and people will always move to go to the bar! I try and find a space where i can move freely enough, and then if people come along they have to dance round me, not the other way round. However this does not always work if the dancers next to you are stubborn. Hence the enquiry into glowing chalk wink


on spam robots - "Burn the robot! Melt him down, and then we can make lots and lots of money from his shiiiny juices!"

Owned by Brenn smile

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:Heyas, glow chalk cool bounce want some, want some, want some ubblol

I perceive myself as s/o who gives as much space as I can ( rolleyes idealised view of myself that is) which is why I moved out of the venue... not to occupy space of others that is. That chalk circle is sometimes used in protecting ones self from evil spirits, no?

Hence glowing chalk is not equivalent to a dinner consisting of LOADS of garlic and beans I suppose wink Ah yes, when "fending them off" I put "in a nice way" as the main objective...

weavesmiley <- one way to do it wink

The other day I sit with my mum on the terrace in her resort and we talk about dinner and where to go, when her neighbour pops out. By saying "hello" to him we opened a tap and he starts chatting endlessly about him being a fresh arrival, inquiring for all kinds of informations and such. As we go along I feel increasingly repulsed, then hear my brother call something like "timewaster" (in German) from behind and listen to myself joining the chorus saying "tick" (in German). The guy seemed to have gotten the message (most likely a Dutchman, regarding by his accent) and buggers off...

Which again brings me to my topic... "fend them off in a nice way"... I got loads of such stories (both ways).

Last night I rush to the beach for sunset and arrive just in time, stop in front of the beach shack and look out on the ocean... "SUNSET PLEASE" was the impatiently annoyed shout I received from the guy behind me (who I have not been aware of help wink )... Fair enough, I buggered off - not really smiling, but in compassion shrug

I perceive myself to be a "sad individual", measured by people who are so outright funny that even their insults make one laugh.... *envies* redface

Some time back I walk up to a restroom and want to enter, opening the door and seeing a guy sitting there, answering natures call... getting angry and shouting at me that I should knock before entering a restroom... provoking nothing more than "why're you not (b)locking the door in the first place?"... umm

Fending off "space invaders" in a nice way is a gift (or smart technique), getting what you want (your space) and still preserving other ppls dignity... wink


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Dance like no one's watching
Work like you don't need money
Love like you've never been hurt


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:Does that mean:

Dance like nobody is around you?

angry ubbrollsmile mad2

tongue wink


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:smile

If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Come on Fire Tom, wheres your sense of humor?

In my experience, some clubs are better, more friendly, than others. I avoid boozy clubs. In the big clubs or parties there are often the lines facing the DJ. Dance in the line, be friendly towards the people around you, and keep youre your eyes open. The more chill you are, the less problems you are likely to encounter. If all else fails, get out your beemers.

cheers


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:ubblol Sorry, but I find this a little amusing. Whose space is it anyway?

Dance floors are for dancing, whatever your style, and all other spaces are open to any use by everyone. Any space you acquire is only temporary and transitory and not own or indebted to you in any way. Everyone else went there expecting a bit of space themselves.

I take up a lot of space so if I want space I move about until I have it. If that space disappears I'll shift around until I find some. If people aren't dancing on the dance floor (my biggest gripe) I move so I can dance freely and hope they eventually start tapping their feet. And generally I try not to get too stressed about it. If there's no space they'll usually be some later that'll I'll enjoy because I didn't tire myself out dancing in a proverbial veal pen.


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polarity
SILVER Member since May 2005

polarity

veteran
Location: on the wrong planet

Total posts: 1228
Posted:Get yourself some earplugs, plenty of space right in front of the speaker stacks wink

You aren't thinking or really existing unless you're willing to risk even your own sanity in the judgment of your existence.

Green peppers, lime pickle and whole-grain mustard = best sandwich filling.

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Lau_Shadow_Boxer
SILVER Member since Jan 2008

Lau_Shadow_Boxer

~ Cup Cakes and Faerie Lights ~
Location: Portsmouth, Uk / Kowloon, Hong...

Total posts: 110
Posted:If people dont realise they are invading your space, usually a polite comment is enough I find - some people dont have the same view on personal space as others I've found, so they come across as not respecting it. But for that small minority that are just plain rude, and/or agressive - best to just leave them too it.



Id love some of the glow chalk though, the potential for masses of fun is huge! awesome!

EDITED_BY: Lau_Shadow_Boxer (1200835040)


"They say it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile; thus smiling is for pansies" - The Short Gorilla

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast" - Ace Rimmer

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burningoftheclavey
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

burningoftheclavey

lurking like a ninja with no camouflage..
Location: over yonder

Total posts: 926
Posted: Written by: Dom


I take up a lot of space so if I want space I move about until I have it. If that space disappears I'll shift around until I find some. If people aren't dancing on the dance floor (my biggest gripe) I move so I can dance freely and hope they eventually start tapping their feet. And generally I try not to get too stressed about it. If there's no space they'll usually be some later that'll I'll enjoy because I didn't tire myself out dancing in a proverbial veal pen.



ditto gives more chance to meet other people who are having as much fun dancing too, and interact with them if theyre up for it ubblove its great fun getting other people to dance too just by standing near to them and going a little bt crazy....they dont feel so self conscious if someone else looks stupider than they will.. oh and dancing through the crowd is always fun...as long as you dont stand on peoples feet/bags/new jackets/beer.. eek

and dom...youre also right. the dancefloor belongs to everyone.. its just how you use it! wink


on spam robots - "Burn the robot! Melt him down, and then we can make lots and lots of money from his shiiiny juices!"

Owned by Brenn smile

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:This is so just confirming for me why I rarely go out cos I hate crowds frown

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:*bangs head against the screen*

rolleyes dancefloor space is for anyone, fully agreed - which is why I moved OUT of the venue. Where was s**loads of space and these guy just sat down right next to me, completely inconsiderate and unnecessary... eek

But this ain't about dancefloor space exclusively... wink

L_S_B: I'd love, errm L.O.V.E. that is, to hear about those polite comments you (and all the others) have in mind... smile


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Perhaps the clubs in oz are be different.

Polite comments aside, sometimes you just have get out there and go for it.



PLUR smile


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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Lau_Shadow_Boxer
SILVER Member since Jan 2008

Lau_Shadow_Boxer

~ Cup Cakes and Faerie Lights ~
Location: Portsmouth, Uk / Kowloon, Hong...

Total posts: 110
Posted:Erm usually I'll try "'scuse me mate, you seem to be right up my ass" or "Do you mind mate, you seem to have encroached (big words to confuse them) on my dancing space. I dont mind dancing with you, but if your just gunna sit there would u mind finding a seat?"

If they come back with smart ass comments I'll usually tell them that they have been warned and if I accidently (operative word there) happen to stand on them or kick over a drink then they should have moved when asked, wait about 5 mins and then throw myself ontop of them. This can be dangerous though I've gotten into a fair few fights over it, so I would allways advise just walking away and finding a different space. But if you feel like a laugh and judge the person correctly it can be a great space clearer. I've also been thrown out of places for doing this, for appearing to be too drunk..

But I think its the principle that counts.


"They say it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile; thus smiling is for pansies" - The Short Gorilla

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast" - Ace Rimmer

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Not sure that its relevant, but I was referring to dancing.

Did I suggest avoiding boozy clubs.


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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burningoftheclavey
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

burningoftheclavey

lurking like a ninja with no camouflage..
Location: over yonder

Total posts: 926
Posted:when they sat next to you, were there many other saeats around nearby? I would tend to find the closest and sit down...if its a party of some description it shouldnt matter...and you might even start up a really good conversation smile

uhm...not entirely sure what other spaces you would talk about other than dancefloor space...although at certain festivals where there is more standing than dancing and there are large people in front of me so my little short self cant see anything i either slide my way in front of them so then were both happy cos we can both see...

although i was at an incubus gig and my friends were a row or two in front of me. I couldnt get past cos there was a lass in front of me who wouldnt budge. I said 'excuse me please can i get past?'
..*dirty look and ignore*..
'excuse me, My friends are right there, can i get through to get to them?' etc etc..
'no this is my space' (the downright insolence!)
*try to tap friends shoulder* 'hey!'
(friend)'hey come through here!'
'i cant this wifey wont let me!'
'aww thats well s*&t!'
*wait a couple minutes till everyone starts bouncing.....sliiide past arrogant wifey*
*WIN!*


on spam robots - "Burn the robot! Melt him down, and then we can make lots and lots of money from his shiiiny juices!"

Owned by Brenn smile

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:ubblol I refer to "personal space" smile

Ever been at an Indian Railways counter (preferably Mumbai or Delhi)??? I mean you got this small window, where you could hardly squeeze through a Yorkshire terrier and you try to inquire when two guys come from the right and three from the left, all trying to jump the cue at the same time... shrug


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Post deleted by Stone

If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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Fire_Moose
SILVER Member since May 2007

Fire_Moose

Elusive and Bearded
Location: Scottsdale, AZ

Total posts: 3597
Posted:....how about not dancing. It seems to work for me, I've never even had this problem.


But if you must, then do it with a staff and.......wait, people wont watch out, thats prolly not the best idea.


O.B.E.S.E.

Owned by Mynci!

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:umm meditate Are you not going to tell me how meditation and some mantras are doing the trick, Stone? spank wink

I updated the initial post, pls (re)read thankx


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Stone
GOLD Member since Jun 2001

Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 2830
Posted:Well I guess you were wrong on that one, hey! wink



You seem to have a lot of complaints about other people. But whats the one thing in common in all of the situations you have mentioned?



Fire Tom.


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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blu_valley
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton

Total posts: 197
Posted:I have issues with people invading my personal space all the time, and I'm not to good with confrontation. I think it's probably because my idea of my personal space is a lot larger than some others...who have smaller personal spaces. I tend to just run away. Sometimes I have to keep moving to ensure that I have my preferred amount of personal space around me, but I see it more as a game than a chore for the most part. I don't deal with large crowds well so tend to avoid them. At gigs and festies I am always right at the back where theres plenty of room to bounce. smile Sorry I'm not much help...suppose you could always cough loudly and mention something about TB, or while theres no one in your personal space flail yor arms wildly every now and again...those with any sense at all will try and avoid you. Those without are a lost cause anyway.

hug


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:[*deleted*]



Blu, your approach is the "soft (and elegant) way". Avoiding crowds and keep on moving 'cause in these areas it's absolutely impossible to keep 'your' space (without flailing arms that is). I will keep an eye on the coughing and practice my sneezing...



wink

EDITED_BY: FireTom (1201255377)


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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