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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Ok, I'm going to go ahead and stick my neck out here. There's a lot that's happened in my life these last several weeks and I'd like to talk about it briefly since I think it's time to be honest with this board.

A little over a month ago, a friend of mine and I were having dinner together and I said to her, "So...I think I might be gay." And that's how it started.

These last few weeks have been spent coming to terms with this truth about myself that I have so carefully suppressed for the last 25 years. I've lied to people (told them I was straight, lying through my teeth in the process), lied to myself, broken hearts, and caused too much mayhem. I decided that it was time to stop the insanity, it was time to stop having deep, dark secrets and being terrified of being discovered.

So, hi, everyone. My name is Mike. I'm the same Mike you've known since I first showed up here.

And I'm gay.

Anyone surprised?

Today was a major milestone: I came out to my parents and they took it reasonably well! So, for the first time in my life, I feel like a whole person, like I have a sense of my place in the universe, who and what I am, and where I'm going. No more secrets, no more lies, no more charades. I live in a really Queer-friendly town, my friends have all been supportive (or at least indifferent), and my profession is completely indifferent to what I do in my off hours.

Now, I'm not going to suddenly go loopy and start wearing Abercrombie&Fitch everywhere and getting my hair done at professional hairdressers and maincures and all that stuff. I'm still the grungy, slightly hippie candy raver that I always have been. I'm just very much at peace with myself now.

I know this isn't going to go over well with everyone on the board. Some people here think that it's a sin to be what I am. To them, I challenge them to ask if G-d made me just to condemn me to hell, given all the good I have to offer to the world, the lives I'll save, the people I'll help, and the discoveries I'll make. Can you honestly believe in such a cruel and malevolent god? I can't.

For the rest of you, I'm willing to discuss this. For starters, I'm curious as to the paucity of Queer spinners. Anyone else noticed that?


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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sea gypsy
BRONZE Member since May 2003

member
Location: Cornwall

Total posts: 51
Posted:Dear Lightning without an e

Glad that your dad is taking it well,
is there anyone your mum could talk too...don't suppose she knows anyone in a similar situation to her, which must be hard...maybe she could see a therapist?

love
Sea Gypsy


...never just an ordinary girl.

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:My how the tables have turned. My mom wanted me to see a therapist. I said "um...what for?" And she couldn't answer. Her real answer was probably to see if there isn't a cure. But she knows there isn't.

So now BOTH of my parents are going to talk to a psychiatrist.

It's funny, I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm completely adjusted. And because I am, my parents have to go to therapy.

I'm glad, though. It means they're trying to work through it and become OK with it.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:So how did that speed dating thingy go?

(am i the only one who has been wondering that??)

((or have you already answered and i missed it?!?)


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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Speed dating? I didn't go speed dating.

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:i thought you did..

ok then..

who was it?


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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Well...hard to believe it's been a year since I came out, eh?

weavesmiley


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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OrangeBobo
SILVER Member since Nov 2003

OrangeBobo

veteran
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada

Total posts: 1389
Posted:That's awesome Mike smile and from the sounds of it, everything's been going well, and turned out alright!

hug

I think my own battle is just beginning... But everyone can read that in the other section tongue

~ Bobo



wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier

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Shawnie
GOLD Member since Mar 2004

Captain Shawnie the Dreaded


Total posts: 126
Posted:Right on Lightning!
That deserves a party (or at least a drink)
beerchug
Cheers!


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Kaji


Kaji

Quantum Theorist
Location: Vansterdam

Total posts: 564
Posted:wow a year! beerchug

lets all give Lightning a big group hug grouphug


In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird, now the world is weird and they take prozac to make it normal again.

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:can i join in with the hugs?

hug for mike!!!!


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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coleman
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

coleman

big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay

Total posts: 7330
Posted:biggrin hug2 hug hug2 biggrin

nice one doc kiss


"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Not only are you out of the closet... but a role model.

Your positive contributions to this board are unmeasurable.

And besides, one less good looking straight guy means one more available straight girl for me. wink


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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SpitFire
GOLD Member since Dec 2002

Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada

Total posts: 2723
Posted:beerchug

grouphug



Congrats on your first year out, Lightning!



I'll "celebrate" my 11th year out come August.



biggrin



Of course, I had to come out to Mom all over again in 2000, and finally came out to Dad then. He knew...he and Mom are still happily married, and they talk. It just took me 7 years to get the gumption up to actually *talk* to him.



Mom didn't believe I was really gay, hence coming out to her again. rolleyes



It was another intense discussion, but worth it. That I'm gay is no longer a taboo subject. In fact, Mom and Dad are very eager to meet Mand. eek



Now...if I could convince Mom that Bush is an insensitive homophobic moron who wants to pass a constitutional amendment that actually discriminates.......



rolleyes I guess Rome wasn't built in a day, and Mom's beliefs won't be molded all that easily....or something like that.



Anyway.....:D

EDITED_BY: SpitFire (1082986548)


Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:How is it that I completely missed this thread the first time around? confused



I mean I know there was a point that Lightning started being more openly gay, but I thought he was just getting more comfortable with the people here. I didn't know there was a "coming out" post.



So to answer your original question - no, I wasn't suprised that you were/are gay Lightning. I wasn't suprised when I first saw plain indications of it on HoP (after this thread started I guess), and I am of course not suprised now.



Actually, what suprises me sometimes is that I'm not gay. I'm beginning to see why I set off people's gaydar so often, but I guess I've just gotten too much positive reinforcement in feminine shapes over the years. biggrin Oh well.



still wondering how I could have possibly missed this thread till now though...


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands

Total posts: 7263
Posted:I hope your brave move has given you a happy year Mike and many more to follow hug

Let's relight this forum ubblove

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Jello


ambiguous
Location: Mpls, MN, USA

Total posts: 646
Posted:Congrats again mike ubbrollsmile

_________________________________
Fuzzy Dice.......................................

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Mand
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

Mand

Keeper of the Spitfire
Location: Calgary Canada

Total posts: 2317
Posted:Nice one Mike. hug
It seems I managed to miss this post aswell. rolleyes

I'm glad you've managed to find peace in yourself.
I'm halfway there, after coming out to myself 4 yrs ago, and to my friends since then.
I've still got my parents to tell though, and this scares the hell out me more than anything. I guess they could really do with knowing about Spitfire though... or that one could be quite hard to explain in a few years time! ubblol


Lets steal a spaceship and head for the sun, and shoot the stars with a lemonade ray gun.

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SpitFire
GOLD Member since Dec 2002

Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada

Total posts: 2723
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

It's a scary thing, Mand, and you and I've had many conversations about it. Do it in your time, when you're comfortable.

ubblove ubblove


Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Those of you who missed it probably did so because it happened a year ago.

weavesmiley


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:still, it seems like I should have noticed it a year ago. it's not like I wasn't here...

or maybe I wasn't now that I think about it. I took a HoP time out somewhere back then because certain things were getting under my skin and then I went on a month long trip too...

Ah well, at least i'm caught up now. hehe


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Mint Sauce
BRONZE Member since Sep 2003

veteran
Location: Lancs England

Total posts: 1453
Posted:Hummm well done L hug hug
I'm Bi and only came out when I came to Manchester uni none of my old mates know yet not sure if Im going to tell them but most of my new mates do and they are all fine with it even tease me a bit in a playful way biggrin

dont think ill tell my parents ither (YET)
confused


before i met those lot i thought they'd be a bunch of dreadlocked hippies that smoked, set things on fire ,and drank a lot of tea but then when i met them....oh wait (PyroWill)

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Page: 123

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