BRONZE Member since Dec 2000


the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Ever have one of those friends you just adore, from a distance, and then when you are actually in his/her presence you wonder why you are friends?
I have a friend that I enjoy talking with on the phone, emailing, etc...but the minute this person walks through the door (which isn't often) I get instantly irritated. It is so strange. This person is very sweet and giving, and loving. Tries to be funny (often failing) and really a genuinely caring person... and the mo s/he walks through the door...I get all tense and wonder why I subject myself to this.
I am asking because I am scheduled to meet up with said person in a few weeks, and I am trying to find a truthful way out of it without damaging the friendship, which I really do value.

(PS...It is not you Prometheus! )

Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:::searches her memory and makes sure she has never entered pele s home yet so it cannot be me ... phew... ::


hmmmm..... how can it be true friendship if the mere presence of that person irritates you so much ?
I really know what you mean but call these kind of people acquaintances not friends... allthough the man that I call my brother and who means so much to me and is my bst buddy sometimes irritates the hell out of me, but then I just tell him and we keep our distance and then all is back to normal... that sometiimes happens with the closest friends...\

Why not try honesty ? maybe not all of it at once, but just trying to figure out why this persons so different IRL than at a distance... and also question yourself to know why you re bothered ? is he/she invading your space ? then why not discuss it ???

sorry this is probably not of great help

I love you and let me tell you that the day we meet you are welcome to be most honest with me and so will I... honesty is the base for a healthy friendship IMO...


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"



Location: Australia

Total posts: 340
Posted:HAHA I have the same thing but she is like the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen! She gets 3 or 4 modelling gigs a week and is gods gift to man (and lesbians).
The funny thing is I knew her just over the phone for about 2 months without having any idea what she looked like then I met her two fridays ago and had alot of trouble getting along with her. This is really strange for me cause I tend to get along with everyone these days and had a lot of love for her within our little "phone relationship". I guess it must have something to do with some type of unconcious fear or judgement of her physical appearance that took place within me.

step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.


SILVER Member since Aug 2001


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:I presently work with someone like that. Well, at least I tend to like that person when she's not around. When she is around, it's about 50/50. Sometimes its cool and her wit is funny, other times she's not funny at all and just pissing me off with her sarcasm. But she is trying to finish her Ph.D. right now, so I won't hold it against her too much. I'm sure I wasn't always the greatest person to hang with in the year leading up to defending my dissertation.

When it comes to not wanting to hang out with someone anymore, I tend to find that being too busy to hang out with them many times in a row is a good way to put some distance in between. But then agian I'm just a yellow-bellied no-good coward afraid of confrontation.


Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


BRONZE Member since Dec 2001


Lambretta Fanatic
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 4993
Posted:aint me and i'm sure i wouldnt irritate you pele


"To be an angel, one need not have wings.
In giving love there is an equal grace.
Nor need one seek the aura in the face,
As love unveils the beauty of all things."

*Francois Couperin.



Location: Oz

Total posts: 29
Posted:I actualy have a friend who is the oposite - we see each other maybe once a year - have a blast - but phone calls and emails are just a pain in the arse...

Love Daiquet