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Forums > Social Discussion > My CV needs work/ Who wants to be nosey?

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:wave

Hello there my lovelies!



Im having a bit of a problem finding a good job that I like at the moment, and im really wondering where Im being let down.

My only interest is in IT jobs, and those are the ones I am primarily looking for, however, I really am considering anything as bills must be paid. Im sure you can appreciate that.



So, I was wondering if I could call on your guys to give me some tips. Or alternatively, just have a look at what I have done with my life and tell me to stop being a slacker.



So, here is my CV, and this is my covering letter.



** Second attempt** This is my second attempt. My second attempt is in the sentence before this one.



Try, try and try again



Once more with feeling.

Cover letter Mark II



Almost finished it is. Also available in PDF

Cover letter Mk. 3, also in PDF



Any tips and/or suggestions are greatly appreciated. thankx




Non-Https Image Link

EDITED_BY: UnbearablyColdOrFreezing (1180267700)


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faith enfire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin

Total posts: 3556
Posted:you need your career objective first, this is most important. it is the thesis that pulls your cv together

education section needs to be cleaned up a bit, and interests should go last

the comp skills seems out of place and should go with qualifications. also, the genuine love for statements should go in the coverletter and in the interview, it doesn't work for the cv.

in the work experience, you cannot go back and forth from fragment to full sentence. you may even chose to use bulleted fragements.

some companies have software that looks for keywords before they even get the resume, so make sure the language is strong and confident.

Remember recruiters do not read a resume unless something captures their interest. we scan to get an idea, if we like the idea of you, then we read it


Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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Richee
BRONZE Member since Jan 2002

HOP librarian
Location: Prague

Total posts: 1841
Posted:Like mcp would say "My work
is done here."

lightning,

:R

ps: Thx George, apprecited.


POI THEO(R)IST

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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands

Total posts: 7263
Posted:You could always just put in a semi nude picture of yourself in the envelope with your muscles out and maybe pouting a little, almost all HR people are straight women and that'll definately win you an interview wink Hell I'd give you a job in exchange for a few poses and a quick kiss behind the smoking shelter ubblol

hug


Let's relight this forum ubblove

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Dentrassi
GOLD Member since Apr 2003

Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane

Total posts: 3044
Posted:its looking much better mate smile

i agree with faithinfire that your interested should go at the end.

if i was submitting it for me i would stucture the Discovery bit a bit clearer - but ill PM you later today.

E.


"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:Does anyone want to choose some of these that I can put in my computer experience bit?



ubblol



Third version is now up.



Ive decided to leave the covering letter where it is for now, as it is fairly good anyway, and I want to concentrate on getting the CV sorted first. ubbrollsmile



The final version will indeed be outputted by email in PDF, or printed. However, on the online application forms, they usually only allow you to send it in .doc format.. shrug


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georgemc
BRONZE Member since Oct 2006

georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch

Total posts: 2387
Posted:TLA's - I love em!!! Last job was designing internet switches/routers - those product specs have more TLA's than actual words!!!! ubbloco

3rd version is marginally better, but you can do much better than that - refer my e-mail.

Covering letter quote "is fairly good anyway," - Wrong!! We can do better!

as I said, this collection of words is your ONLY way to convince someone who knows nothing about you that they should trust their future to you - it's gotta be as good as you can possibly make it to have the best chance of success. Wring every last positive implication out of every word selected...


Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin

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Richee
BRONZE Member since Jan 2002

HOP librarian
Location: Prague

Total posts: 1841
Posted:Windows: 95, 98, ME, SE, NT, 2000, XP, Vista



IP: ARP, ICMP, IP, TCP, UDP



Internet: SOHO, LAN



that's basic,



:R


POI THEO(R)IST

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georgemc
BRONZE Member since Oct 2006

georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch

Total posts: 2387
Posted:native IPv6 SSL VPN - that's not quite so basic! biggrin

Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin

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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:Version 4.2 of the CV is up, as is mark 2 of the cover letter.

ubbrollsmile

Im much happier with the CV now, and feel that it is actually half decent. As a side note - all the lines, and general tablelyness wont be in the final version. It was only so I could see the spacing of each section.

Now to get cracking with the cover letter!

bounce


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UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:CV next revision is up now, as well as the 3rd draft of the cover letter.
They are both available in PDF too.

ubbrollsmile


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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:[Steps out of shadows briefly to help a friend.]

Sorry for jumping in late...

My first radical question/suggestion is:

Is that the right format for the job you're applying for?

I don't know the answer to that, especially because it's British. I know that something like teaching has one specific format (and can be more than one page) but other more jobby jobs would be expected not to have such explanations and MUST be one page.

I would find the RIGHT answer to that by searching for reputable sources and employers rather than taking our word for it.

Also, it really needs a proofread or 6. In my quick skim, I stumbled on this sentence:

"In this high profile and fast moving business, there were no room for errors as broadcasting the wrong program or the wrong dubbing/ subtitle language, would damage the companys global image."

It's awkward, confusing, and grammatically incorrect.

There are others...

You need to decide if you should be speaking in passive voice (which I suspect you should) and get rid of all your "my"s.

A sentence like this is an example of something that should be streamlined:
"Regularly fixed the IT problems in our department (hardware errors, software problems, un-jamming and installing printers) as per instructed by my manager, without having to wait for the IT Team to be free to fix them instead."

Something a bit smoother might be:
Regularly fixed the IT problems in our department (including fixing hardware and software problems as well as maintaining and installing printers) without specific IT Team assistance.

I don't like this:
"Mistakes were not an option."

I'd prefer something like:
"requiring meticulous attention to detail"

Bah, I could spend a while on this ...

Long story short:
1) Find out what format you should be using. This format should include what verb tense and voice you should be using. I think it would be stronger if you picked one verb tense, voice, and level of formality and kept it consistent.
2) Less is more. Some of the stretches you're making are actually making it look a bit weaker. If you regularly did tasks that the IT team usually did, say that. You don't need to go into why that saves them time/energy/money/morale/karma. wink

Bah... gotta run. Dinner.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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