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Forums > Social Chat > I've got a theory on HOPs amazing service

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poistertom
poistertom

Member
Location: My house, Epsom, Near Sutton, ...
Member Since: 31st May 2005
Total posts: 8
Posted:OKok, I've been thinking this through, and this is the only way it could make sense.
We all know HOP are amazing at delivery, (and quality but I'm not gonna talk about that now).. when it comes to speed..its just otherworldly, never seen before, in any company anywhere..well, thats my own opinion.
You buy stuff online, from your own country, and somehow you receive stuff from HOP few days before, when you ordered on the same day!!How??
I think..well, Id LIKE to think..that in fact, the whole truth of HOP - why it's known by everyone, why they're so reliable and never seem to be tooo busy - is because in fact, they have branches all around the planet, in all continents, with hundreds of employers who work there for life, and are forbidden from mentioning the name HOP. Therefore, speed of delivery is self-explanatory! it would also explain the increase in poisters around....

Well, gotta go now..just thought i'd share this with you because I am utterly bored smile
PEACE AND LOVE!!!

ps: if you wish to throw a frying pan, or larger utensils, at me..feel free

also, feel free to share any other theories


save this planet from destruction, use sea water to twirl, its the only thing which wont run out


Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:I like to think that HoP is like Santa ubblove

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:HoP is is like santa, except he doesnt help you set yourself on fire ubblol cuz he's softcore!

if HoP does employ hundreds of people, i want to be one!


"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:Hundreds of people, or hundreds of elves? tongue

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:eek are you suggesting HoP IS santa? eek

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


poistertom
poistertom

Member
Location: My house, Epsom, Near Sutton, ...
Member Since: 31st May 2005
Total posts: 8
Posted:that could make sense..you know how they always say that near Xmas period they're very busy and all... it could make sense! ubbrollsmile

save this planet from destruction, use sea water to twirl, its the only thing which wont run out


Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:zomblegods, ye may be right!

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:And if you're bad with your poi and don't treat it right, it'll turn into a lump of coal!...well, yeah, sorta! ubbrollsmile

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:or it'll give you a lump the size of coal!

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:Ok, so Malcolm is Santa...is Georgemc Rudolph? tongue

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Bubbles_
Bubbles_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: mancunian
Member Since: 25th Nov 2004
Total posts: 3383
Posted:well it makes cantus make sense now..... i always knew he was a secret elf

Disclaimer:im not responsible for what i say or do whether it be before,during and after drinking alcoholic substances (owned by BMVC).
Creater of Jenisms(TM)
Virginity like bubble,one prick all gone.


poistertom
poistertom

Member
Location: My house, Epsom, Near Sutton, ...
Member Since: 31st May 2005
Total posts: 8
Posted:Ok, so we agree on Santa and Co. are in fact HOP.

Any other theories to prove Santa's customers wrong?Sorry..by customers I meant..hmm, what did I mean?? What are we to santa??Cuz we don't buy things off him, (well apparently we do now)..so clearly we're not customers..too many questions.. confused


save this planet from destruction, use sea water to twirl, its the only thing which wont run out


Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13919
Posted:I disagree. I happen to have inside knowledge and I know that Malcolm, DOES make use of elves. However, HoP supports an elven union (unlike Santa, Inc., which is known to engage in union-busting tactics including threatening elves with ear-clippers) and gives them a living wage and benefits.

As for delivery, it is commonly known that NZ has a large faerie population, much of which was indigent and unemployed before HoP. Malcolm has employed them to give the fastest delivery you ever saw!

(Sorry, Malcolm, but I had to give away your secrets!)


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura


georgemc
georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 2387
Posted:Rudolph??!!! eek

I think someone forgot about the tunneling gnomes ...


Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin


Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:Santa has tunnelling gnomes??

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:so the faeries dont have to worry about the weather when transporting goods, of course wink

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:Ah, like when they have to got to Scotland where it rains constantly? wink

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:or turbulence when flying hot air balloons, or storms when sailing their catamarans wink

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley


georgemc
georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 2387
Posted:You see without the gnomes and the wormholes (did I mention them already?), we have to rely on "evolved science" which some may mistake for "magic"...

A couple of theories about Santa's delivery system:

http://www.fnal.gov/pub/ferminews/santa/
http://www.mae.ncsu.edu/homepages/silverberg/santa/science%20of%20santa%20talk.htm

Since these are supposition, and already freely available in the public domain with a casual Google, I feel no qualms about presenting them here for your edification, enlightenment and amusement (or simply to throw you all off the true scent!) however, I'm not such a killjoy that I'd confirm or deny the truth of the matter. Who tells kids there is no such thing as Santa - not me! Here at HoP, we are preservers of the fun and belief in the unknown! wink
It is a fascinating subject however?

George


Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin


FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:rolleyes that's why they were shooting "LotR" in NZ!...

man... rolleyes wake up!

wink


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink


Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:so NZ also has lots of gobrins? GOBRINS! eek

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley



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