Forums > Social Discussion > Overeacting or justified concern?

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BRONZE Member since Aug 2005


Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 1588
Posted:My ex has anew partner and are living together. I wish them both happiness and luck together, but, they do not always get on and this worries me when my ex has our son for holidays. I know how hard it is not to have a full blown argument in front of a child is as the have very keen hearing and are also receptive to moods and atmospheres that surround them. I know my ex is a very good father to our son but I also know how emotional and passionate arguments often become with him if you refuse to back down. I have only met them as a couple once and know they are both competent parents but it does not stop me being concerned about the "what if" factor, that being, "what if a little misunderstanding becomes a situation where my son's time with his father is cut short?" or "What if he grows up thinking he is the reason for these conflicts of opinion?"

I know I am probably over-thinking these things, but is my maternal instinct justified or am I being over protective?

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SILVER Member since Apr 2005


Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:aww sweety hug

You could try broaching the subject with him in a tactful way? Perhaps tell him how concerned you are and tell him that you think you may be over-reacting! I'm sure he'll want the best for Dominic too hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


faith enfire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin, USA

Total posts: 3556
Posted:not mom and not knowing how old your son is, but has your son said anything, or have you talked to him about it to see how it affects him...then you could figure out from what direction to approach your ex
just a nonmother thought-seeing how my bf deals with his ex

Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed


BRONZE Member since Nov 2005


HoP mage and keeper of the fireballs
Location: Palmerston North, New Zealand

Total posts: 1965
Posted:As a kid my parents split and I would have liked it if somebody had asked my opinion on the matter but i just got ignored.

The best that I can suggest is that you talk to you son and ask your ex to do the same as these things can screw you up and lead to relationship difficulties later on in life. Just ask my missus and she will tell you that I'm not the sanest person on this plannet.

May my balls of fire set your balls on fire devil


BRONZE Member since Jan 2005


had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)

Total posts: 4145
Posted:How old's your son? I think as long as they're only arguing and not getting violent or really verbally abusive (or letting him stand in the corner crying for an hour while shouting at each other) it's not that bad, dealing with disagreements is an important skill to learn. If he's old enough to ask him, I agree, find out if it happens a lot when he's around and if he feels sad or intimidated about it and then bring it up with the ex.

But arguments happen in the best intact normal families, and children have to learn how to deal with them in order to deal with their own arguments later.

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half




Total posts: 6650
Posted:ditto clap

A (parental) argument is part of life. It's not an all hoochie-coochie fluffy fairy world.

 Written by:

"what if a little misunderstanding becomes a situation where my son's time with his father is cut short?" or "What if he grows up thinking he is the reason for these conflicts of opinion?"

What is the (true) intention of your concerns? I'm kind of puzzled...

the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink


GOLD Member since Jul 2005


Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Marie, you've warped my nephew anyway.... wink hug

You can't wrap him up in cotton wool all the time, you can however, buy this for your peace of mind, and noseyness. Watch him become MI5's top man in 20 years time biggrin

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


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