Forums > Social Chat > Does age matter?

Posted: 2nd May 2003
I am pushing 30 and still get told I look about 21 and do not act my age either. I never get called immature but rather, I have that whole curiousity thing that is more commonly equated with younger people. My son has been called my little brother a couple of times in fact. LOL.
It only matters because when I get carded, as they think I somehow faked the id and it matters sometimes when I walk into a performance and I am assumed to be younger than I am. There is this idea that youth=irresponsibility, which is simply not true.

BUT on the flip side, I went to a concert with Prometheous and quite by accident ran into my (at the time) teenage nephew there. He was shocked! But his friends had this attitude of jealousy first ("Who is that Greg?") and when he answered "My Aunt" they had this whole, 'what the hell is she doing here?' attitude working.
Later it was because they felt I was too old to enjoy Godsmack I guess.

My overall thoughts, age dictates nothing except the legal age at which some things can be done. Other than that, im/maturity and ir/responsibility are completely a personal growth and development thing. Some of the most irresponsible and immature people I know are 12 years older than I. Some of the most responsible people I know have yet to graduate high school.
*shrug*

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 1st May 2003
Age also tends to dictate how old your body is.... and as it gets older it can't do some things like it used to...... or rather it takes longer.

Mentally, I find age to be no barrier. I am over 30, but still behave like a teenager in many ways. But this doesn't mean i am irresponsible. I am married, we have a 5 year old daughter, house, car, etc... I have a responsibility to each of these but it doesnt mean I have to behave in some prescribed manner.

I seem to be getting younger

So much fire, so little body hair...

Posted: 2nd May 2003

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zoltar:
I have a responsibility to each of these but it doesnt mean I have to behave in some prescribed manner.

---

Having responsibilities, and making decisions regarding those responsibilities, makes me understand that I am older then I was yesterday, or two weeks ago, or in that other life 2 years ago when I was living in that other place. I have been making decisions up until now, and will continue to do so in the future. Understanding makes us wiser, and I don’t think we can really understand things until we make decisions about them and experience their outcomes. Then we really know the weight of the choice that we made. Then we have learned it.

Although, getting caught up in those decisions does makes us older. Fretting and pressuring and worrying about the next minute ages people beyond their years. Playing and dancing and letting go so that you can experience now is what keeps us young.

I don’t think that physical age has anything to do with the age of your spirit.

>^o^<

Posted: 2nd May 2003
I think society does put onus on acting a certain way when you reach a certain age. That doesn't mean I agree with it though. I know some people who conform to this ideal but I know a lot more who don't.

I am 32 and still dress and act in a non-conventional manner. I do not consider myself immature but rather as young at heart. When I meet people socially they usually assume I am younger than I am and that my 14 year old daughter is my little sister, which I enjoy. I have also experienced the 'you're too old to enjoy this' attitude which Pele mentioned. However, in all truth I don't really care what people thing of my non-conventional ways. The most important thing to me is my own happiness.

Are we nearly there yet?

Posted: 2nd May 2003
you never have to prove anything to anyone....you only have to prove it to yourself..


i NEVER act my age (17...almost 18 tho..end of june (the 30th (so put it in your diaries (now! (go on... (do it!))))))

i dont really care what people think of me..

i have got so used to being insulted and bad things said about me i just totally ignore it all now and only hear the compliments.

Posted: 2nd May 2003
I have found that allot of people say that they have a philosophy of “age does not matter” but their actions do not match up with their words. I look like I am in my early 30’s (and there are times that I can act like a three year old) but when people find out that I am actually 40 their attitude changes. I have friends that do not spin anything and they have accepted that I do this weird spinning thing with Poi, which has been accepted because of my Polynesian dancing, but they thought I was a little crazy when I picked up the staff. And when I tell that that I want to light up said staff and even do fire poi they act as if I am losing my mind. “Your going to be 41 this summer, why are you picking up something so dangerous.” And that doesn’t cover the fact that I have long hair and everyone asking me when I am going to get it cut short. Where does it say that when you get older you have to have short hair?

Not only are their stereotypes that your pears measure you against, also older and younger people will do the same thing to you. My experience is mostly with the younger group of people in their late teens early 20’s. It’s OK when they think I am in my yearly 30’s, big sister, but when they find out that I am old enough to be their mother 50% of those people attitudes change. Their language cleans up and there are some topics that they will not openly talk about, as if I where actually their mother. But then they other 50% make up for it. They think it’s great that I am open to new things and even invite me out to party with them. This set of young people actually back up their works with actions.

You have to be true to yourself. Act the age that you feel, not the age that you are, you will find that you will grow old before your time.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.

Gidg

Posted: 2nd May 2003
Now that did not come out right. What I meant to say was “Act the age that you feel, not the age that you are, or you will find that you will grow old before your time.” Funny what a simple thing as the word ‘ or ’ will do to a sentence.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.

Gidg

Posted: 3rd May 2003
I was going to say the same thing as Gidg:
I act who I am and how I feel, and age has little to do with it.

Age means you've got a few more years of experience to learn from, but if you're 40 and you haven't learnt anything from your years then you're as experienced as a teenager who's truly learn't life's greatest lessons already.

Society applies many conventions as to how we show act for our age, how we progress through our lives. Got to school, go to uni, then step on the 'ladders': career, property and family. Look around our societies and you'll see unhappy, repressed and bitter people who followed the path defined for them by others. You'll also see people who are happy with this path.

We each have our own individual journey to take, so don't let people direct you or tell you who you should be on this journey. The only way to find out who you are and what you can be is to do it yourself.

Posted: 3rd May 2003
im 16 and because i look much older thatn i am i find that people tend to talk to me differently but as soon as i tell them how old i am they start to talk down to me and their whole attitude begins to change. i think that age is just a state of mind. i know very few people who act their age and i find that i get on with those people much better because there is no hyp or pretense, they are just open, honest people who dont judge or critisize

Posted: 3rd May 2003
Being 31 and going back in school for my bachelors, this is a sticky subject for me. I have always enjoyed being a total flake, and shied away from major responsibilities. A good many people in school see me as a filthy old man, I imagine. A good many more are cool with me, and we can sit and chat about things that are ALWAYS important to people, no matter what their age (beer, video games, and sex (in that order (due to availability )).

I have been more recently (since 30) reflecting on age, and what it means. I think I am a bit wiser, have a bit more perspective, and enjoy the finer moments a bit more than a younger person. This perspective comes from realizing that you can get thinner, you can get smarter, but you can never get younger. You only go through life once (unless you are Hindu/Buddihst ), so wasting time on trivialities such as "do you have the right car" or "should someone your age dress like that" is just not worth it.

Develop the basic survival skills to keep a roof over your head and money in the bank, and spend the rest of your time improving yourself and society. I work to live, not live to work, and ultimately I will quit my job before I let it consume me. That might seem "irresponsible", but I think it is the only way to be happy.

That all being said, the 17 year olds I go to school with are total tards.

[ 04. May 2003, 05:44: Message edited by: Boneyard ]

A witty saying proves nothing.- Voltaire (1694-1778)

Posted: 3rd May 2003
Boneyard and Dom. Exactly right!

There is a strong corrolation between age and wisdom. You don't need to be old to be wise but it dure does help.

To be youthful, my opnion is that you have to still be discovering the world, eyes wide open and loving all the new things you keep finding out.

Just watch a child, whether 5 or 15, they still don't know that much about the world so every thing is new. The five year old, will embrace most things as wonderful and magical, whereas the 15 year old will usually adopt a 'whatever' approach that they think is them being cool.

Te oldest people i know are those who think they are wise, like the fifteen year old who is acting 'cool'...They think they know it all, are very set in their ways and avoid learning or doing new things.

I learned a great technique in my early twenties thta helps keep my outlook on life young, like the five year olds, and it one of the best things I ever did for myself...

HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
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Posted: 3rd May 2003
I say act how you feel . (just remember what wisdon is ).

that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk

Posted: 4th May 2003
totally with puk on this one, age doesnt matter at aaaaaaaaaall its only a device for measuring when your next birthday is!!

i'll draw you a picture ill draw it with a twist ill draw it with a razorblade ill draw it on my wrist and if i do it right a red fountain will appear washing away my sorrow washing away my fear

Posted: 5th May 2003
I am so happy to see that I am not the only one pondering that very same question. Thank-you Thank-you Thank-you for sharing my attitude on not "acting your age"! I take crap from my co-workers on a daily basis for being too immature. I am 31 and I love putting little stickers on my work papers and wearing sparkly clippies in my hair. I am not irresponsible nor do I slack off with my work. I just like to make things fun. I guess that makes me seem immature to everyone else. It never bothered me until I hit that 30 years old mark (I hear you Boneyard)! I believe that I will be happier being who I want to be thaough instead of caving in and being who everyone thinks I should be.

ShyFysh <*}}}}><

In the Eyes of the Goddess...All are Equal, All are Worthy ~Pa'u Zotah Zhaan

I honor the Divine within ~Rev Bem

Posted: 4th May 2003
Thanks everyone! I enjoy reading your replies!

Posted: 4th May 2003
When I'm at work, I don't act a certain age, I just have to act "grown up." The rest of the time, all bets are off.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura

Posted: 4th May 2003
i'm not getting older
i was old before i was young, so now i'm going backwards

i AM however getting : smarter, brighter, more enthusiastic, more comfortable in my own skin, more comfortable within my own mind, more creative, more expressive, less standoffish, more talkative!! braver, stronger, sillier, more sensible, crazier, saner, more free, more tried and tested, more open, more relaxed, less stressed, better at taking compliments, MUCH better at giving them, more peaceful, and more secure...

i'd like to think i'm getting wiser as well, but i'm far to silly for that....

Currently on the right side up of the world.

Posted: 4th May 2003
those who laugh longer, live longer my friend. have fun and u will suceed in life. life was made 2 be enjoyed, not a NO-FUN-ZONE. in my opinion, if "immature" means having fun, laughing, enjoying urself ect. ect. then by all means BE IMMATURE!!! those "mature" ppl can go and have no fun what so ever sum where esle. but of course there r limits, still follow rules/laws but ENJOy LIFE!!!! because b4 u kno it, itll b over.

peace man

SoMe PeOpLe WaLk In ThE rAiN, oThErS gEt WeT!

Posted: 5th May 2003
one thing i have noticed is the way people react to age gaps in relationships

men are looked on better than women when they are the older party (and i mean by more than 5 yrs) in a relationship. and older woman is treated with more contempt

why must our age define our love for some one. love comes in many difrent forms. i shouldnt be defined by ones age if to consentual adults are in love then they is no bounds to there happyness

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, and screaming "WOO-HOO What a ride!"

Posted: 5th May 2003
Ok, I'm 33 and most people think I look and act about 26, but as far as I can tell, I've acted about the same for at least a decade now.

My fire and burningman friends back in Texas range over at least 2 decades (I'm right in the middle), and I love them all. The older ones do tend to take on more responsibilities, but by and large I trust all of them. I also dare you to guess how old they are by how they act. By and large they are all capable and responsible and a bit immature (in the good ways!).

Age is an attidue. You can have wisdom and lots of experience and still be vital and young. Life doesn't have to make you somber and and conservative like many would have you beleive.

As far as relationships are concerned, I've had girfriends 11 years younger than I and up to 14 years older, and enjoyed the hell out of both ends of the spectrum. Presently I am... actually I not sure how to put it, but I'll say "involved" with an outrageously awesome woman who is ten years younger than I am. In some ways she is more mature (in the good ways!) than women who were 50% older than her.

But then every so often some age issues do creep in. Mainly because I am ready for certain things in my life that she is not. For example, I am seriously starting my career at this point (finally!), but she still has the wonderlust of youth and won't stay in the same place for long, which makes it difficult to see her much.

Another problem is she occasionally gets mad at me for supposedly taking an attitude of superior experience, which gets a little sticky because this is something that I used to get hacked at lovers that were older than me for doing and I like think I'm not doing that. Oh well...

Mostly my attitude is that once someone reaches a certain age, it doesn't matter what age they are until they admit they are old. What is that minimum age? I can't say - for some it may be 17, for many it seems to happen sometimes in their early to mid twenties, and some people never reach this age.

And how old till you admit you are old? Again, it is different for everyone. I personally intend to die first (but that will hopefully be quite a while from now!).

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Posted: 5th May 2003
i completely agree with you! i hate the way people think should behave in this way or that because of how old you are!! i mean if you want to act 'imature' thats your decision isn't it? age really doesn't matter! i am going to be a very old lady when i 'grow up' no matter what other people might say!!

love you all!
SNOOPoi

THWACK!!!!
Liz_Ard: Ouch!
SNOOPoi: Thats just not the sound of someone doing it right!

Posted: 5th May 2003
To be honest i dont think age should be a problem. Its how you are thats the main thing. I used to have a partner who was 11 years older and the age difference wasn't a problem. I also have freinds who are 5 years or so younger than me, and due to their upbringing etc they seem a lot older than their age. I love mixing with all ages anyway because you can learn lots from the young and even more from the older generations!.

Only when the last tree has died
and the last river has been poisoned
and the last fish has been caught
will we realise that we
cannot eat money.

Cree Indian, 1909