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Jo
Jo

member
Location: Sheffield, England
Member Since: 13th Dec 2000
Total posts: 517
Posted:Every day I have to delete at least 5 spam mails trying to sell me stiffy drugs.

Does anyone else get these all the time? They're annoying as hell. It's totally conceivable that a friend has signed me up for some info for a laugh, hence the question...

Jo 'hard as a rock' Derry.


Educate yourself in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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James B
member
Location: Chippenham, Wiltshire. England
Member Since: 4th Apr 2003
Total posts: 44
Posted:

I get that "make your member larger" one alot. Can't seem to stop that one. I don't need it,

realy I don't



Speak softly and carry a big stick, you will go far!

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coleman
coleman

big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay
Member Since: 29th Aug 2002
Total posts: 7330
Posted:yeah!

i not only get a whole bunch of those but i get some *really* random shit:

last week it was an email offering to show you 'raccoon fellatio' if you visit a particular site. embarressingly i was actually intrigued enough to check it out and it turns out they were lying. for those that care though, it can be found if you are an internet search guru like one of my friends - it took him the best part of a friday night though!

today i get an email from someone in nigeria requiring a fund manager to deal with one of their client's silly amounts of money (circa US$55m). i might consider it but i'm about as far as you can get from being an accountant and i haven't the first clue how to launder more than about 500

and those 'unsubscribe' options never bloody work.


"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

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NYC
NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:The internet has decided I need a larger penis and much larger breasts as well. I never really thought of that but if the internet thinks I do I guess I should at least consider it...

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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James B
member
Location: Chippenham, Wiltshire. England
Member Since: 4th Apr 2003
Total posts: 44
Posted:I too had that $50.5m e-mail

I just wanted to know how they got my e-mail address


Speak softly and carry a big stick, you will go far!

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MiSsFrOg
member
Location: Oceanside, CA USA
Member Since: 30th Aug 2001
Total posts: 187
Posted:I hate spam
Non-Https Image Link

but what is the bad thing about having a bigger man hood
Non-Https Image Link

or bigger boobs?
Non-Https Image Link

its just a way to make people look better.

Non-Https Image Link


Its not easy being green....

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Pele
Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:Well, Jo, you can look at it this way...if you aren't getting the penile enlargement ads, then the internet gods evidentally think you are large enough...that is one good thing right?

I get ones for a bigger penis (how do you enlarge nothing anyway?), possibly a working penis (I can find someone if I want one of those, I am sure..Hey Jo, whatcha doing later?? ), bigger boobs...I *really* don't need those as mine are just fine I am told, arse patches to make me thinner (might think on that) and all the sex I could ever want for $19.95 a month! Wahooey!

Man with all that...who needs a date, or a Real Doll?


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:I get spammed for:

*A larger penis (thanks, I like mine)
*Bigger breasts (thanks again...I like mine)
*Work from home (Does that mean I should make house calls?)
*Foreign bank account frauds (What kind of idiot do they think I am?)
*YOU MAY QUALIFY FOR A DEGREE BASED ON WORK YOU'VE ALREADY DONE! (Gee, ya think?)
*kwerncd owerjow (do they honestly think I'm going to open an E-mail with that subject?)
*Click here! (might help if it was actually a link, rather than just plain text.)
*And of course, ht tnage srrity grls ucking farm animals and that sort of thing. (I'm trying to avoid search hits, Malcolm!)


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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flid
flid

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Warwickshire
Member Since: 27th Aug 2002
Total posts: 3136
Posted:bigger breasts eh? I can see the advantages of getting myself a set of those, but i'd probably never leave the house if i did.

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falloutboy
falloutboy

remember
Location: Melbourne, Australia, Earth, M...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 433
Posted:yah, I think everyone gets these crap emails.

Never use the "unsubscribe" services though - it just tells them that a.) you're recieving their emails, and b.) you actually read through it, even if only to find the unsubscribe feature. And hence they make a point of continuing to send them to you.

The funniest one i've had is: "Become an ordained priest in hours!"

- reverend falloutboy.


-As angels debate chance and fate-
i was riding through melbourne on a midget giraffe, things were peachy.

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flid
flid

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Warwickshire
Member Since: 27th Aug 2002
Total posts: 3136
Posted:here's a good way to start each day in the office/at the computer.

Make yourself comfortable.
Open the first few pieces of spam, look at the website they advertise.
Do a dns lookup on it
Lookup the netblock owner
Forward the email with full headers to the netblock owner adding the word SPAM to the topic.

It takes 30 seconds per email and if everyone who gets spammed did 2 a day it would really cut down on the amount of spam around. The ISPs that host these people don't get paid enough to bother dealing with one or 2 emails. But if from a mailout of several million 1% of the people complain the spammers loose their hosting/connection because they can't afford the administration costs of dealing with each one. The spammers will of course move ISP, but sooner or later they give up. There are of course some unscrupulous large ISPs (generally all american) who really don't care if their networks are used for spam if the price is right, but smaller ISPs do take a notice.

Now, who wants a new septic tank?


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Puk
Puk

Sweet talented nutter
Location: Brisbane Oz
Member Since: 3rd Aug 2002
Total posts: 2615
Posted:God i get all that and Dental plan offiers! . (
man i wish i could spell !)


that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk

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Paddy
back from the dead...sort of
Location: 4341'N 7938'W
Member Since: 23rd Feb 2002
Total posts: 884
Posted:For some reason all the one I get ones in Spanish. Smooth move, advertisers, not only are you trying to sell me stuff I don't need, but you're telling me about it in a language I don't understand.

:: off to find a english/spanish dictionary ::

I also got one that was aimed squarely at Christian fundamentalists, offering me the chance to email God.


Delete

Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:I actually get a lot in Korean...or what attempts to be korean. I know it's trying to be korean because of the .kr domain names. I've just blocked all .kr domain names. I don't know anyone in Korea, anyways, so I can block the whole country no problem.

But it comes through looking like this: "????? ?????# ????#???"


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Jo
Jo

member
Location: Sheffield, England
Member Since: 13th Dec 2000
Total posts: 517
Posted:Oh. Darn it!

The internet has now decided I do need a further 3 inches.

So, what am I doing later, Pele? Well, I guess It'll be quality 'growing' time. I'll let you know when I'm done.

Jo.


Educate yourself in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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King Of Bongo
King Of Bongo

addict
Location: Berlin
Member Since: 25th Dec 2002
Total posts: 522
Posted:at least you're not told you need growth hormones, an anti-ageing impotence formula a bigger manhood and sceptic cleaning fluid... I like my height, I'm only 20, my manhood is in its prime and I definitely don't nee help in the sceptic department thank you very much!

Your life is ending one minute at a time...
So live it.

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Thistle
Thistle

old hand
Location: Nottingham UK
Member Since: 27th Jan 2001
Total posts: 950
Posted:I, on the other hand, am fast aproaching 33 and as gravity takes it's toll on my body I need all the help I can get. These spam e-mails make me yearn for things I can't afford

Why is unsolicited e-mail called spam?


Are we nearly there yet?

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King Of Bongo
King Of Bongo

addict
Location: Berlin
Member Since: 25th Dec 2002
Total posts: 522
Posted:Spam is a type of meat loaf made of pork. Its use to describe bulk mails stems from a really funny monty python sketch where this guy goes into a restaurant and asks whats on the menu. Everything he asks for (indeed everything on the menu) has spam in it, he doesn't like spam and asks if there isn't something without spam. The waitress replies in a classic way "there's spam, spam, spam, eggs, chips and spam, that hasn't got a lot of spam in it!" (or something probably a lot more funny but i can't remember the exact line)
Then a curtain is lifted and in the background some vikings start chanting away singing "spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, wonderful spam!"
its wicked.

I guess its just the idea of spam not being very nice really and the poor bloke being able to get away from it.

the spam page...


Your life is ending one minute at a time...
So live it.

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