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Carpal \'Tunnel

Member Since: 17th Apr 2002
Total posts: 15414
Posted:no..not really, i just love this song...if you sit and listen to the words (or read them) they can actually affect you.

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen By Baz Lurman

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra problem by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll do the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen

its such a great song.

just thought


Location: London
Member Since: 13th Dec 2000
Total posts: 2211
Posted:I graduated in class of '99 - I used to listen to this song while studying for my exams!

I have not heard it in ages, even though I have it on cd at homw, but it is indeed a great song.
And may I add...

Live in London once, but leave before it turns you into a raving Loonie

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:The lyrics were actually originally written by some newspaper columnist (not named Baz). someone copied it down in a mass email that hit almost everyone in the states it was forwarded so many times and said that Kurt Vonnegut (sp?) gave these words in the commencement speech to the graduating class of 1996 or so at Rice University (private University in Houston, which happens to be where I went to grad school at the time). Kurt V then of course gave a press release that he's never given a commencement speach in his life. Of course, the next year, he did give the commencement speech at Rice (having nothing to do with sunscreen). Shortly after this, the lady who wrote the article gave a press release saying that as a newspaper article, it was a complete flop, but as a supposed commencement speech from Kurt V, it was a huge success. Within a year or so, there was a song playing on the radio, which is the one referred to here.

I think Spritie can back me up on this one since she was going to grad schoool at Rice at the same time. Of course her memory of such things leaves someting to be desired (but she can always tell you where your keys are).


Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!


Location: Galveston, TX
Member Since: 9th Sep 2001
Total posts: 2014
Posted:yup, Vanize has me pegged. I did look it up though, and Vonegut spoke at commencement in 1997. Lucky kids.

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:I have found this just as valuable in my life:

Not the Sunscreen Song by John Safran

see below for translations

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '98,
People often ask me if I have any advice to offer
And when they do, I tell them this:

If you're unsure about what you're going to do with your life,
Try to remember, some of the most interesting people didn't know what they were going to do at age twenty-two or even at forty, and nearly all of them are unemployed drug addicts forced to live on cat food.

Also understand that friends will come and go. This is because of your irritating personality.

Nobody likes you.

So if the only thing
getting you thought the day is the misconception that people like you, end it now.

Learn how to smoke Winnie Blues, if you're under age, get an older kid to buy them for you.
Get to really know your parents, they're good for money. Milk them, then put them in an old people's home.

Travel as often as you can, live in New York City once, live in Northern California once, move to Adelaide, it beats the hell out of Melbourne. *

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, if you do have children, lock them under the stairs.

Do one thing each day that scares you, sing, dance, jump in front of a car.

Do not trust anyone who tries to update Shakespeare for the kids, and if you see Quindon Tarver in the street, punch him in the face for me.

Brother and Sister, we can be free (noise of gratuitous violence inflicted on Quindon Tarver - smack)

If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember, you're probably fatter than you think, maybe you should consider an eating disorder.

Don't worry too much about the future.
If you're nervous about an exam, ring up your school to schedule time, and make a bomb threat.
If you're a girl, lie about period pains to get out of anything you don't want to do.
Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with richer parents is getting private tuition.

Shop-lift as often as you can, shopping centres factor shop-lifting into their prices, so if you don't do it, it's like they're getting money for free.

When you're on work experience, steal a cab-charge, and take a taxi to Perth.

Wear sunscreen, but only if it's that coconut oil that gives you cancer.

Keep your old love letters, if you see an old
lover in the street, try to run them over in your car.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or else by the time you're thirty-five, you'll look like Greg Matthews.

Remember you can wear your underwear four times without washing them, forwards, backwards, inside-out forwards, inside-out backwards.

Chorus twice
(gunshots - bang bang bang bang)

Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres, it's a free country, It's public space.

Skateboard on War Memorials.
Smoke in your school uniform.
Set off car alarms.
Plant drugs on a teacher.
Join a cult.
Spike drinks.
Don't flush public toilets.

Remember, only you will truly take care of you, so carry a concealed weapon.

Don't wear your 'P' plates.
Walk around with your eye lids rolled back.
Touch your tongue on the tip of batteries.
Be open to new love.
Remember, you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.

Expect others to support you, it's easy to get the dole and still do cash in hand work.

Respect your elders, when your grandma dies, have her stuffed.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when you are knee-capped by a loan shark.

Get revenge, don't forgive anyone for anything,
But most of all, don't aim too high, you're probably only suited to an office or factory job.

And trust me on the Winnie Blues.

* Note: words may have been changed from the original. For purists and St Kilda supporters, try "never live in Adelaide, it's a hole."

Translations for Americans:
Winnie Blues - Winfield Blue cigarettes

Adelaide - very interesting city in southern Australia reknown for its wine and restaurants, hot weather and a series of strange murders

Melbourne - an Australian city with London's weather, London's buildings, a third of the population and none of the style

St Kilda - shockingly bad Australian Rules football team. Almost un-Australian in that it loses a lot. Australian teams are used to winning. See Commonwealth Games 2002

"P" plates" - probationary drivers license

Dole - unemployment benefits

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...


Intrepid Penguin

Member Since: 12th May 2002
Total posts: 5635
Posted:hey! i have style! excentricity counts as style doesnt it.....

its funny, i've heard the Saffron version, but not the other. I feel gipped now...

Currently on the right side up of the world.

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