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Forums > Social Chat > Axis of Evil Wannabees

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Location: London
Member Since: 13th Dec 2000
Total posts: 2211
Posted:Other Axis of Evil Wannabees, by John Cleese

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the “Axis of Evil”, Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the “Axis of Just
as Evil”, which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. “Right. They are just as evil
. . in their dreams!” declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. “Everybody knows we’re the best evils . . . best at being evil .. .we’re the best.”

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
“They told us it was full,” said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

“An axis can’t have more than three countries”, explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. “This is not my rule, it’s tradition. In World War II
you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool.”

International reaction to Bush’s Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the “Axis of Somewhat Evil”, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the “Axis of Occasionally Evil”, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the “Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable”.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the “Axis of Countries That Aren’t the Worst But Certainly Won’t Be Asked to Host the Olympics”. Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the “Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America”, while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the “Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick”. “That’s not a threat, really, just something we like to do”, said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren’t perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the “Axis of Countries Whose Names End in ‘Guay”, accusing one of its members of filing a false application.

Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn’t want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that’s only because no one asked them.

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats

Mr Petey
Location: Sunny Sheffield
Member Since: 17th Oct 2002
Total posts: 43
Posted:I wish to declare to the world that I've raided the toys in my parent's loft and formed my very own Axis of Weebles.

They may well wobble, but solomly vow to never fall over in the face of the Coalition forces or Barbie Dolls


Diamond In The Rough
Location: Richmond, Virginia
Member Since: 30th Jun 2002
Total posts: 459
Posted:THanks for the laughs. I needed that!

Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.

LuNcHbOx...(Aka. Nathan)-un-single
Location: beneath a cloak of self-tortur...
Member Since: 3rd Oct 2002
Total posts: 536
Posted:hey my mum has a weeble...

-LuNcHbOx, Aka. Nathan...Give a man to fish, and that man knows where to come for more fish...Teach a man to fish and you have just destroyed your market base...


Tantamount to fatuity
Location: Down the road
Member Since: 30th Jul 2001
Total posts: 15965
Posted:Does it fall down?

"I'll carry this....It's harder to spill a hat" - Chellybean
"...like a rabbit caught in a lighthouse?" - Chellybean

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