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VampyricAcid
SILVER Member since Jun 2005

VampyricAcid

veteran
Location: My House, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1286
Posted:With so many Hoaxes on the internet these days I am struggling to decide if this is real or not What do you think?

Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Jesus isn't coming back. well, not tonight, anyway -he's out on an all night session down the nags head with Mohammed, mother teresa, who was awesome last thursday on the karaoke, Hu Gadarn, who makes sure everyone has a full glass, bless 'im, also Ganesha and Osiris, who keeps talking about his pointy things.... pyramids. oh and Loki, who spends all his time on the one armed bandit. It's very boring really..... except when the succubi arrive...
ubbangel biggrin


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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newgabe
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali, Australia

Total posts: 4030
Posted:Oh that is just hilarious!!!
I think it is not so much a hoax as a clever pisstake that someone is also hoping will make them some money!

Having said that I lived with Christians in the States when I was younger (was an exchange student with not much choice where I was billeted) who sincerely believed the Rapture thing.


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:Everyone should know this story:

A man and his dog were walking along a road.

The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" The man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" The traveler asked.

"I'm sorry; sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" He called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" The traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" The traveler asked.

"This is heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the Gold Street and pearly gates? Nope.

That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Groovy_Dream
SILVER Member since May 2005

Groovy_Dream

addict
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 449
Posted:It wouldn't work because if the pet carers believe in the apocalypse, wouldn't that make them believers that will go to heaven, leaving the pets behind? Unless they were really BAD believers devil. Their website should really give statistics on how often they sin so as to be sure that they won't go to heaven.



ubbrollsmile


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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:wow jo! thats a beautiful story!!!

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Glåss
DIAMOND Member since Nov 2001

Glåss

The Ministry of Manipulation
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2523
Posted:Awwwww cute smile

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newgabe
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali, Australia

Total posts: 4030
Posted:I think the word 'heathen' was used. as in 'We are assembling a community of heathen pet-lovers'

dead give away I reckon wink


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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coleman
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

coleman

big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kin...

Total posts: 7330
Posted:ubblol wicked website!

and a lovely story jo hug


cole. x


"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:read the rest of the site! it's most amusing!


The JesusPets FAQ

Is this for real?
Many Christians around the world believe Jesus is going to return any moment. Yes, they believe it is for real.

Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left. Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left - Matthew 24:40

Where do the "godless alien archeologists" come from?
In the news item The End Is Really Really Near This Time aliens come and have their way with abandoned pets. It's not clear whether they are better described as Angels or Aliens but either way they like to go from planet to planet and have group sex with things. Watch your dog when you let him or her outside to go potty. Here are the supporting scriptures:
The Nephilim were on the earth in those daysand also afterwardwhen the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown. - Genesis 6:2

They [(two angels)] called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them." - Genesis 19:14




i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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robnunchucks
BRONZE Member since Jul 2004

robnunchucks

enthusiast
Location: manchester uk

Total posts: 363
Posted:WICKED if i sign up to do i get payed before the appocolacolps??? i could use some cash and i can clearly state now that i dont beleave in god or the appocolips
EDITED_BY: robnunchucks (1163072452)


My nunchucks vital statictics biggrin

weight: 500g
handle lenght: 16 inches
chain length: 2 inches

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daize
SILVER Member since Dec 2005

daize

member
Location: Falmouth, Cornwall, England (U...

Total posts: 175
Posted:hehe that's a funny website...

"Or as Bill Murray says in Ghostbusters, "Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!" I for one believe he was referring directly to JesusPets."


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