Forums > Social Discussion > At Home Drug Tests
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the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
I just saw a commercial for one, and I know they are starting to carry them at alot of our local stores.
In the commercial it says to talk with your kids about drugs, and show them that you have the test as a way to let them know you care.
As a parent, I am really on the fence. I am not my son's friend. I am there to guide him to making healthy choices, so in that scope, having that is kind of like saying "I don't trust you and I suck as a parent. Here, pee in this cup."
On the other hand, I know that my parents instilled a bit of fear in me, which really did play out when I was making choices as I was growing up. In that scope, just having this might have some effect.
However, were I ever asked to use it, I would have been HIGHLY offended. I mean...over the top (because that's how I was).
So, at home drug testing as a parental tool.
What do you think?
I just saw a commercial for one, and I know they are starting to carry them at alot of our local stores.
In the commercial it says to talk with your kids about drugs, and show them that you have the test as a way to let them know you care.
As a parent, I am really on the fence. I am not my son's friend. I am there to guide him to making healthy choices, so in that scope, having that is kind of like saying "I don't trust you and I suck as a parent. Here, pee in this cup."
On the other hand, I know that my parents instilled a bit of fear in me, which really did play out when I was making choices as I was growing up. In that scope, just having this might have some effect.
However, were I ever asked to use it, I would have been HIGHLY offended. I mean...over the top (because that's how I was).
So, at home drug testing as a parental tool.
What do you think?
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
SILVER Member
c",
199 posts
Location: Ireland
c",
199 posts
Location: Ireland
Posted:
it would be crap enough on your kid if you caught him by chance but if you went out of your way to buy a piss test and caught him it wouldnt go down too well . . . trust your kid and dont narc on him/her
it would be crap enough on your kid if you caught him by chance but if you went out of your way to buy a piss test and caught him it wouldnt go down too well . . . trust your kid and dont narc on him/her
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
I'm not in favor in most cases.
I think that kids, like their parents, have a right to privacy and to feel safe in their own homes. Parents should respect their children and their children's bodies. There are also false positives, faulty tests, and other problems with them. They also aren't very sensitive. I once tested my urine six hours after smoking a LOT of marijuana and it was positive...but negative at 24 hours.
It is the policy at my hospital (and at most hospitals and clinics) that we do not do drug tests on adolescents unless it is medically warranted and we do not share the results of the tests with parents, nor do we perform them on parental request.
There are many signs that your kid may have a drug problem. If you are down to relying on a drug test as your sole way of determining whether one exists, then I would say that you don't know your kid very well.
ON THE OTHER HAND... if your kid already has a drug problem, or if you have a very good reason to think your kid may have a drug problem, then it may be appropriate to test your kid. The thing is that in order to do it properly, you have to watch him pee in the cup. ACS looks at it in a very negative light when a parent forces an adolescent to expose herself to the parent for any reason.
I think drug testing is best left to drug treatment centers and not to parents.
I'm not in favor in most cases.
I think that kids, like their parents, have a right to privacy and to feel safe in their own homes. Parents should respect their children and their children's bodies. There are also false positives, faulty tests, and other problems with them. They also aren't very sensitive. I once tested my urine six hours after smoking a LOT of marijuana and it was positive...but negative at 24 hours.
It is the policy at my hospital (and at most hospitals and clinics) that we do not do drug tests on adolescents unless it is medically warranted and we do not share the results of the tests with parents, nor do we perform them on parental request.
There are many signs that your kid may have a drug problem. If you are down to relying on a drug test as your sole way of determining whether one exists, then I would say that you don't know your kid very well.
ON THE OTHER HAND... if your kid already has a drug problem, or if you have a very good reason to think your kid may have a drug problem, then it may be appropriate to test your kid. The thing is that in order to do it properly, you have to watch him pee in the cup. ACS looks at it in a very negative light when a parent forces an adolescent to expose herself to the parent for any reason.
I think drug testing is best left to drug treatment centers and not to parents.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Ahhh...but there is the interesting thing.
It didn't, and neither did I, say to "use" it.
It said to have it as a catalyst for discussion.
A representation of "caring" which honestly translates to a threat ie: "If I suspect, then I am making you use this." kind of thing. Again, that "fear of" thing.
I have no intention of getting one.
I know my son.
I am *VERY* involved in my sons life, and the older he gets, the more involved I become in his social life.
I know what to look for. I don't think having him pee in a cup is a solution.
So what do you think, not of using it but having it as a tool?
Hmmmm....
Ahhh...but there is the interesting thing.
It didn't, and neither did I, say to "use" it.
It said to have it as a catalyst for discussion.
A representation of "caring" which honestly translates to a threat ie: "If I suspect, then I am making you use this." kind of thing. Again, that "fear of" thing.
I have no intention of getting one.
I know my son.
I am *VERY* involved in my sons life, and the older he gets, the more involved I become in his social life.
I know what to look for. I don't think having him pee in a cup is a solution.
So what do you think, not of using it but having it as a tool?
Hmmmm....
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
BRONZE Member
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
Posted:
Surely unless you had a good reason to suspect your child you wouldn't threaten him/her with a test?
I think if the kid doesn't take drugs they'll be hurt by having such a "caring" (translates as mistrusting, a child's going to understand that much!) parent. And if they do take drugs it's too late for the threat.
Surely unless you had a good reason to suspect your child you wouldn't threaten him/her with a test?
I think if the kid doesn't take drugs they'll be hurt by having such a "caring" (translates as mistrusting, a child's going to understand that much!) parent. And if they do take drugs it's too late for the threat.
"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)
Owner of Dragosani's left half
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Posted:
Maybe I'm exetremly lucky that I felt comfortable enough telling my mum about the things I do to my body...
If she didn't already know and asked me to do a drugs test for her, it would have just been the inevitable, as it is mums jobs to know everything.
Maybe I'm exetremly lucky that I felt comfortable enough telling my mum about the things I do to my body...
If she didn't already know and asked me to do a drugs test for her, it would have just been the inevitable, as it is mums jobs to know everything.
Internet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
Posted:
My mum already knows what I take, as does my stepdad.
But Jesus H. Christ, if my Dad ever brought one of these home, I dunno what I'd do...
My mum already knows what I take, as does my stepdad.
But Jesus H. Christ, if my Dad ever brought one of these home, I dunno what I'd do...
The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
Precision instrument of speed and aromatics
240 posts
Location: Vienna
240 posts
Location: Vienna
Posted:
The idea of scaring your child into not taking drugs because you might someday spring a test on them seems very perverse.
I am much more in favour of genuine education and dialogue about drugs, giving children the truth.
If a child is help to understand the bad AND the 'good' points (why people enjoy them) about drugs, then they are in a much better position to make an educated and informed choice.
I would rather have a child that knew what the dangers were and made a conscious decision, than a child who was pressured into taking drugs or (in my opinion equally bad) a child so conditioned by fear and propaganda that they never think for themselves on the subject.
The idea of scaring your child into not taking drugs because you might someday spring a test on them seems very perverse.
I am much more in favour of genuine education and dialogue about drugs, giving children the truth.
If a child is help to understand the bad AND the 'good' points (why people enjoy them) about drugs, then they are in a much better position to make an educated and informed choice.
I would rather have a child that knew what the dangers were and made a conscious decision, than a child who was pressured into taking drugs or (in my opinion equally bad) a child so conditioned by fear and propaganda that they never think for themselves on the subject.
Not a spinner!
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
thats harsh!!!!!!
i know in the US taking drugs reckreationaly is seen as the sin of all sins but drug testing your own kids.............thats taking things a bit too far. if you respect your kids and they respect you enough suerly they would open up and tell you "hey mom/dad YES i do smoke weed now and then" people think "oh no he's a druggy, he'll be murdering old women to get his next fix"
it's nothing more than an infringment of privacy!
i know my kid will experiment with controlled substances, EVERY chiled dose in the UK at some point in their lives but at lest i'll have the experience and knowledge to direct them away from taking the same paths in life i did and not be subjecting them to random drug tests
thats harsh!!!!!!i know in the US taking drugs reckreationaly is seen as the sin of all sins but drug testing your own kids.............thats taking things a bit too far. if you respect your kids and they respect you enough suerly they would open up and tell you "hey mom/dad YES i do smoke weed now and then" people think "oh no he's a druggy, he'll be murdering old women to get his next fix"
it's nothing more than an infringment of privacy!
i know my kid will experiment with controlled substances, EVERY chiled dose in the UK at some point in their lives but at lest i'll have the experience and knowledge to direct them away from taking the same paths in life i did and not be subjecting them to random drug tests
Good Ol' Yarn For Hair
422 posts
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
422 posts
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Posted:
I'm very con, and pretty much for that reason.... because of a false accusation towards my brother brought about by our high school. Funny thing is, my Mum sounded madder when the test came back positive. I think she said something along the lines of it being like "he got away with it," despite the fact that they went right from school to the local hospital to have the screening done.
I just fear that too many people will jump on this as a quick fix solution to a problem that cannot have a quick fix. Like dieting, ritalin, and Sister Cleo.
Written by: Pele
I am there to guide him to making healthy choices, so in that scope, having that is kind of like saying "I don't trust you and I suck as a parent. Here, pee in this cup."
I'm very con, and pretty much for that reason.... because of a false accusation towards my brother brought about by our high school. Funny thing is, my Mum sounded madder when the test came back positive. I think she said something along the lines of it being like "he got away with it," despite the fact that they went right from school to the local hospital to have the screening done.
I just fear that too many people will jump on this as a quick fix solution to a problem that cannot have a quick fix. Like dieting, ritalin, and Sister Cleo.
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
whats the unted states problem with people choosing to smoke weed???
it all stems from when the prohabition was going on in america, marajiana and alcohol where prhibited in a way to clean up the population of america but due to a strong underground black market on alcahol that ban was lifted and the government got a kick back from gross sales.
marajuana on the other hand was vilified by the government media with videos like marajana madness, and all the other low budget propaganda videos about "the dangers of marijuana"
whats the harm if someones choice is to smoke a bit of herb now and then?
i'm not talking 24/7, day in day out i'm talking like a smoke here and there only every now and then.
US parents should drop the 1950-70's ideal and accept people are opening their minds and deciding for themselves.
whats the unted states problem with people choosing to smoke weed???
it all stems from when the prohabition was going on in america, marajiana and alcohol where prhibited in a way to clean up the population of america but due to a strong underground black market on alcahol that ban was lifted and the government got a kick back from gross sales.
marajuana on the other hand was vilified by the government media with videos like marajana madness, and all the other low budget propaganda videos about "the dangers of marijuana"
whats the harm if someones choice is to smoke a bit of herb now and then?
i'm not talking 24/7, day in day out i'm talking like a smoke here and there only every now and then.
US parents should drop the 1950-70's ideal and accept people are opening their minds and deciding for themselves.
SILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Posted:
home-testing your kids for drugs, the sign of all trust!
home-testing your kids for drugs, the sign of all trust!
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
First of all, Ravehead, some of your facts on the Prohibition are a bit skewed. Opiates and smokeables were not black listed. Alcohol was.
I live in an area that was a hot seat for the Women's and the Teatotaler movements. We still have signs around that say "Aschew the Brew" (I love that slogan, it makes me laugh).
Please all. I do not want this at all to degenerate into a plus or minus drug use discussion. If your post goes into that, I really would like for you to edit it.
This is about parental and kids rights.
I definately agree with education being the best defense. With responsible choices and parental support.
However, kids don't always want to hear it, they don't listen and even with an education they don't always make well educated choices. Trust, with anyone, only goes so far before intervention needs to happen.
So then, would this be pre-emptive?
I spoke with my son about this tonite. He had some fantastic insights about it that perhaps I will share when he gives me permission.
First of all, Ravehead, some of your facts on the Prohibition are a bit skewed. Opiates and smokeables were not black listed. Alcohol was.
I live in an area that was a hot seat for the Women's and the Teatotaler movements. We still have signs around that say "Aschew the Brew" (I love that slogan, it makes me laugh).
Please all. I do not want this at all to degenerate into a plus or minus drug use discussion. If your post goes into that, I really would like for you to edit it.
This is about parental and kids rights.
I definately agree with education being the best defense. With responsible choices and parental support.
However, kids don't always want to hear it, they don't listen and even with an education they don't always make well educated choices. Trust, with anyone, only goes so far before intervention needs to happen.
So then, would this be pre-emptive?
I spoke with my son about this tonite. He had some fantastic insights about it that perhaps I will share when he gives me permission.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
To respect-
I've edited out what i put here- not that it was a +/- drug thing, simply addressing something said in one of the posts above; but, given past HOP thread degenerations, i've deleted it.
To respect-
Written by: Pele
I do not want this at all to degenerate into a plus or minus drug use discussion.
I've edited out what i put here- not that it was a +/- drug thing, simply addressing something said in one of the posts above; but, given past HOP thread degenerations, i've deleted it.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
On the drug test thing: how about asking the child if he/she is willing to be tested.
Given a degree of intelligence and an understanding of the way the world is and an appreciation of human nature, would all children be against testing?
Some people lie, many drug users lie- we all know this.
As an adult, if I get cetain types of job i can be expected to be drug tested (eg police in certain circumstances or operators of dangerous machinery).
In those cases, i wouldn't be offended because i know that, much as I'm totally trustworthy when i deny taking drugs, the way of the world is that some people lie and, from the employers perspective, it would be inept to simply take peoples word for it.
So, as a child who happens not to use drugs, who can appreciate that some drug taking children do lie, it doesn't necessarily follow that a my parents desire for me to take a voluntary drug test, is a sign of doubt in me.
That's not to say that, in many cases, it wouldn't be down to mistrust: and i'm sure, that in many cases it would have harmful and counterproductive effects- I'm just suggesting that not all children would necessarily resent it.
On the drug test thing: how about asking the child if he/she is willing to be tested.
Given a degree of intelligence and an understanding of the way the world is and an appreciation of human nature, would all children be against testing?
Some people lie, many drug users lie- we all know this.
As an adult, if I get cetain types of job i can be expected to be drug tested (eg police in certain circumstances or operators of dangerous machinery).
In those cases, i wouldn't be offended because i know that, much as I'm totally trustworthy when i deny taking drugs, the way of the world is that some people lie and, from the employers perspective, it would be inept to simply take peoples word for it.
So, as a child who happens not to use drugs, who can appreciate that some drug taking children do lie, it doesn't necessarily follow that a my parents desire for me to take a voluntary drug test, is a sign of doubt in me.
That's not to say that, in many cases, it wouldn't be down to mistrust: and i'm sure, that in many cases it would have harmful and counterproductive effects- I'm just suggesting that not all children would necessarily resent it.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
Except for the costs...
2Baht50: However at the point where your kid would consistantly hide it's drug abuse from you, the relationship is down the drain already, you should maybe less upset about her/him, but on your very own approach towards it's education.
I told my mum once at age 16 - because she simply wouldn't see the obvious - she ignored it (or maybe was just not "present" 7:30 am in the morning at breakfast
good timing huh?)... When meeting my dad for the sixth time, right before my 19th birthday we talked four hours and the conversation turned.... howeve in the end we smoked a bong together... 
Dunno whether it doing me any good, tho.
Making your kid scared of drug abuse isn't helpful, but showing it proper alternatives when in the right age (<13) - "natural highs". Excuse, I'm drifting off....
Take a look at yourself first, allright?
If you're abusing drugs (alcohol, tobacco, pharmaceutical products, weed...) yourself - how can you (hippocriticly) tell your kid: don't?
A drug test (at home not, because of accuracy)? *prepares himself* I'm pro, because your kid already stopped talking to you about it's problems and the danger is imminent that it will drift away further, slip into heavy abuse...
s hot eggs....
Respect and privacy of your child? Certainly a topic, but - presumed you're NOT taking drugs yourself and you do NOT tolerate it - your kid disrespects you and and abuses the hospitality, safety and shelter, PLUS pocketmoney you provide... is respect (in this case) something similar to a one-way road? *mumbles something about "hi.p.pies" and hides behind the sagetree from incoming pipes*
[edits - before everybody starts yelling at him] I am not pro ENFORCED drug testing.. This is TOO far, sorry I was cubicled! But raising the question itself should be allright in a family constellation[/edit]
Written by: DL
I think drug testing is best left to drug treatment centers and not to parents.
Except for the costs...2Baht50: However at the point where your kid would consistantly hide it's drug abuse from you, the relationship is down the drain already, you should maybe less upset about her/him, but on your very own approach towards it's education.
I told my mum once at age 16 - because she simply wouldn't see the obvious - she ignored it (or maybe was just not "present" 7:30 am in the morning at breakfast
good timing huh?)... When meeting my dad for the sixth time, right before my 19th birthday we talked four hours and the conversation turned.... howeve in the end we smoked a bong together... Dunno whether it doing me any good, tho. Making your kid scared of drug abuse isn't helpful, but showing it proper alternatives when in the right age (<13) - "natural highs". Excuse, I'm drifting off....
Take a look at yourself first, allright?
If you're abusing drugs (alcohol, tobacco, pharmaceutical products, weed...) yourself - how can you (hippocriticly) tell your kid: don't? A drug test (at home not, because of accuracy)? *prepares himself* I'm pro, because your kid already stopped talking to you about it's problems and the danger is imminent that it will drift away further, slip into heavy abuse...
s hot eggs.... Respect and privacy of your child? Certainly a topic, but - presumed you're NOT taking drugs yourself and you do NOT tolerate it - your kid disrespects you and and abuses the hospitality, safety and shelter, PLUS pocketmoney you provide... is respect (in this case) something similar to a one-way road? *mumbles something about "hi.p.pies" and hides behind the sagetree from incoming pipes*
[edits - before everybody starts yelling at him] I am not pro ENFORCED drug testing.. This is TOO far, sorry I was cubicled! But raising the question itself should be allright in a family constellation[/edit]
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
Member
52 posts
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
52 posts
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posted:
Now i wouldnt have thought to use a drug tester on my children (when or if i do have kids).
As a teenager myself i would be offended if mum asked me to take a drug test. I do not tell mum everything about my social life, i think if i did she wouldnt like it much at all. What was frowned upon in her day isnt so much frowned upon these days, in a social sense.
My mum knows i dont tell her everything but she trusts my judgement enough. I think the biggest problem is parents trying to control their kids way too much. Trust that your kids wont screw up their own lives, intentinally that is. Give them all the information you know about drugs and let them make their own mind up. I honestly think that my experimentation with drugs helped me mature.
Hmmmm, speaking of not screwing my life up. I better go do some revision, before my exams next week.
Peace.
Now i wouldnt have thought to use a drug tester on my children (when or if i do have kids).
As a teenager myself i would be offended if mum asked me to take a drug test. I do not tell mum everything about my social life, i think if i did she wouldnt like it much at all. What was frowned upon in her day isnt so much frowned upon these days, in a social sense.
My mum knows i dont tell her everything but she trusts my judgement enough. I think the biggest problem is parents trying to control their kids way too much. Trust that your kids wont screw up their own lives, intentinally that is. Give them all the information you know about drugs and let them make their own mind up. I honestly think that my experimentation with drugs helped me mature.
Hmmmm, speaking of not screwing my life up. I better go do some revision, before my exams next week.
Peace.
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
reconsiders: I am completely cubiculed today, sorry mumbling cowspoo...
If you can't determine that something is going on with your child - how much attention are you paying to it anyways?
*tries to de-cubicle from lack of sleep and a
mind*
reconsiders: I am completely cubiculed today, sorry mumbling cowspoo...
If you can't determine that something is going on with your child - how much attention are you paying to it anyways?*tries to de-cubicle from lack of sleep and a
mind* the best smiles are the ones you lead to
SILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'm hoping that when the day comes when I have kids i'll be an honest and open mum and I hope to raise my kids to be aware of the + and - of drugs.
Obviously I won't want my teenage kids to do them, but I hope that they'll have the wisdom to follow their own judgement and have the strength not to bow to peer pressure.
I'm sure every parent wishes that, but I sincerely doubt I'll be using an at-home drug test unless my kid was some no-good, stealing junky!
And how do kids get that far without any parental intervention anyway?!
Communication is the key, not a drugs test.
I'm hoping that when the day comes when I have kids i'll be an honest and open mum and I hope to raise my kids to be aware of the + and - of drugs.
Obviously I won't want my teenage kids to do them, but I hope that they'll have the wisdom to follow their own judgement and have the strength not to bow to peer pressure.
I'm sure every parent wishes that, but I sincerely doubt I'll be using an at-home drug test unless my kid was some no-good, stealing junky!
And how do kids get that far without any parental intervention anyway?!
Communication is the key, not a drugs test.
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
SILVER Member
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia
what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
4,030 posts
Location: Bali, Australia
Posted:
So which 'drug' are we talking about here?
Marijuana?
Heroin?
Eccies?
Antibiotics?
Ketamine?
Speed?
Alcohol?
Ritalin?
Insulin?
Steroids?
Coke?
Pepsi?
The Pill?
It really annoys me when people talk about/lump all 'drugs' together. No smart kid is going to take advice or seek help from someone that misinformed and/or fuzzy thinking. (that is not a dig at you Pele, I assume you know what sort of test kit you are talking about and just didn't specify...)
I told my son when he was 13 or so that I assumed as an Aussie kid he would most likely use marijuana, and the best thing he could do was share it with me so I could make sure it wasn't screw your head hydro skunk. That if ya want to have a giggle with yr mates, fine. But if you get into a depressive lassitudinous funk then it's best I know what yr actually doing with yourself.
And that if he ever used heroin or speed while he was in my house under my care then I would know without any drug testing necessary cos I know what it looks like in people. And that I would chain him to the bed for 5 years no bullsh*t about 'professional interventions' or involving the cops. That the teenage brain is developing and fragile and pills were completely unpredictable... and let's keep talking...
Repeated the process with my daughter. So far so good. I just asked her and three of her friends about this topic and they all totally agreed that having a domestic test kit would do nothing at all for the parental relationship or the kids health. Particularly if they were NOT using anything..
They had no time for the 'fear' concept of parenting. Scuse now I gonna drive them to a party.
So which 'drug' are we talking about here?
Marijuana?
Heroin?
Eccies?
Antibiotics?
Ketamine?
Speed?
Alcohol?
Ritalin?
Insulin?
Steroids?
Coke?
Pepsi?
The Pill?
It really annoys me when people talk about/lump all 'drugs' together. No smart kid is going to take advice or seek help from someone that misinformed and/or fuzzy thinking. (that is not a dig at you Pele, I assume you know what sort of test kit you are talking about and just didn't specify...)
I told my son when he was 13 or so that I assumed as an Aussie kid he would most likely use marijuana, and the best thing he could do was share it with me
so I could make sure it wasn't screw your head hydro skunk. That if ya want to have a giggle with yr mates, fine. But if you get into a depressive lassitudinous funk then it's best I know what yr actually doing with yourself. And that if he ever used heroin or speed while he was in my house under my care then I would know without any drug testing necessary cos I know what it looks like in people. And that I would chain him to the bed for 5 years no bullsh*t about 'professional interventions' or involving the cops. That the teenage brain is developing and fragile and pills were completely unpredictable... and let's keep talking...
Repeated the process with my daughter. So far so good. I just asked her and three of her friends about this topic and they all totally agreed that having a domestic test kit would do nothing at all for the parental relationship or the kids health. Particularly if they were NOT using anything..
They had no time for the 'fear' concept of parenting. Scuse now I gonna drive them to a party.
.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
sorry about my ill informed post pelé
i think it's really wrong to subject a child to random drug tests. it's an invasion of privacy
* did you know that 99% of all heroin users started out on milk
sorry about my ill informed post pelé
i think it's really wrong to subject a child to random drug tests. it's an invasion of privacy
* did you know that 99% of all heroin users started out on milk
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
With my de-cubicled mind I was reconsidering my whacko post and would like to set the record straight - happy enough that you guys refrained from
ing me for some of what I've said - thanks for being patient (NYC hasn't been online yet, has he?)
Forcing a child into a drug test is sick and a good way to loose the rest of trust and companionship.
I like what you said, Pele:
And then, what? Drag him to the next police station if it turns out positive?
Not noticing a significant change in behaviour and appearance and not seeing the signs of drug abuse with ones own child, means that something is seriously wrong in the way a parent pays attention to the child already. In this case the parent should seek as much counselling as the child needs rehab (but I am not talking about fault or guilt here, because today sometimes both parents have to work all day for kiddies iPods and cellphones therefore are not fully present...)
How to build a healthy relationship? Well this is a different topic.
Childrens and parents rights? We always love to talk about rights and rarely talk about the duties, who predetermine the rights - myself included.
[edit] I like your approach too, gabe
With my de-cubicled mind I was reconsidering my whacko post and would like to set the record straight - happy enough that you guys refrained from
ing me for some of what I've said - thanks for being patient (NYC hasn't been online yet, has he?) Forcing a child into a drug test is sick and a good way to loose the rest of trust and companionship.
I like what you said, Pele:
Written by: Pele
I am not my son's friend. I am there to guide him to making healthy choices, so in that scope, having that is kind of like saying "I don't trust you and I suck as a parent. Here, pee in this cup."
And then, what? Drag him to the next police station if it turns out positive?
Not noticing a significant change in behaviour and appearance and not seeing the signs of drug abuse with ones own child, means that something is seriously wrong in the way a parent pays attention to the child already. In this case the parent should seek as much counselling as the child needs rehab (but I am not talking about fault or guilt here, because today sometimes both parents have to work all day for kiddies iPods and cellphones
therefore are not fully present...)How to build a healthy relationship? Well this is a different topic.
Childrens and parents rights? We always love to talk about rights and rarely talk about the duties, who predetermine the rights - myself included.
[edit] I like your approach too, gabe
the best smiles are the ones you lead to
SILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Posted:
Gabe your kids are so lucky to have you as a mum, you are totally kickass and I love you!
Gabe your kids are so lucky to have you as a mum, you are totally kickass and I love you!
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
marmite and nutella sandwich
1,590 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
1,590 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Posted:
I would be sooo offended and annoyed with my parents if they asked me to take a test, it would be like they don't trust me. I don't like them much anyway, so I think that'd be the last straw.
I would be sooo offended and annoyed with my parents if they asked me to take a test, it would be like they don't trust me. I don't like them much anyway, so I think that'd be the last straw.
THE hop Pyro.
(with parents)
Unowned
GOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
interesting thread.
with the whole privacy thing do the pro privacy ppl think that children should be able to watch porn on the internet? or perhaps pedophilia? or beastiality? what about meeting up with 40 year old men they have met on the internet? should their privacy allow them to do these things unchecked to? (note the comparison is NOT the magnitude but the need for parental guidence and rules) children and children they need a combination of both guidence and rules this is the parents responsibility.
that being said i think education is the best deterent, when i was young and didnt really care about school my mum took me for a drive to where the homeless shelters in town and explained how ppl without education have less choices and through bad luck end up there.
perhaps take your son for a drive to a dodgy part of town so he can see what crack addicts look like and explain where the path of drug taking can lead. or a less drastic measure like some educational web browsing for fact finding https://www.kidshealth.org/teen/drug_alcohol/drugs/know_about_drugs.html
coupled with a fact seshion with the local GP
interesting thread.
with the whole privacy thing do the pro privacy ppl think that children should be able to watch porn on the internet? or perhaps pedophilia? or beastiality? what about meeting up with 40 year old men they have met on the internet? should their privacy allow them to do these things unchecked to? (note the comparison is NOT the magnitude but the need for parental guidence and rules) children and children they need a combination of both guidence and rules this is the parents responsibility.
that being said i think education is the best deterent, when i was young and didnt really care about school my mum took me for a drive to where the homeless shelters in town and explained how ppl without education have less choices and through bad luck end up there.
perhaps take your son for a drive to a dodgy part of town so he can see what crack addicts look like and explain where the path of drug taking can lead. or a less drastic measure like some educational web browsing for fact finding https://www.kidshealth.org/teen/drug_alcohol/drugs/know_about_drugs.html
coupled with a fact seshion with the local GP
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?
BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
Okay...my son is 11 and like I said, I am an extremely involved parent. He and I talk about anything and everything, which is why I brought this up to him first. I wouldn't use it on him, but I am so damn curious about it for some reason.
I love the responses being put up here and am really happy to hear opinions from teens (which all went the way I thought they would) all the way through to people who already have kids. It's all very valid.
Ben-ja-men, I really love that your mum did that. I have too, all the time in fact. My parents refused to acknowledge that I needed help and I nearly died. We didn't talk alot about anything and I vowed to not be that kind of parent. So I didn't wait. Noah has known since he was little the effects of drinking, drugs, lack of education, etc. I show him photos of things going on in the world and we discuss it together. I want him to be well informed.
At the same time I am protective. I know where he is at all times, and he is awesome about checking in with me. He even keeps a walkie talkie on him when he walks to his friends house. Independence with mom comfort. He is not allowed to have tv in his bedroom or a computer in there either. He's 11. There is no need for it. When he is on the computer, we are there to make sure he is safe. I check his email account periodically to make sure he is not preyed upon. He doesn't have an IM program. It's not that I don't trust him. I do. I don't trust other people with him. He is my baby and my life.
We don't smoke. We don't do drugs. Most of our friends don't. We have the occassional drink, with him around and I have allowed him a sip. He doesn't like the taste. I don't want taboo in my house, because then it is all appealling.
I, personally, think these are better options to a test in a box. However, I also recognise that many parents do not have the communication with their children that we have with him. Perhaps this may serve as a catalyst for discussion for them.
I also have to say I have extremely strong feelings on the topics of drunkeness and drug use, but while he knows how I feel about them, I also am not a tyrant with absolutes. I want him to have a well rounded opinion.
So...Noah's, age 11, thoughts on the test.
It would make him think about not doing drugs because he would be afraid of coming home and having to be tested.
It would hurt his feelings because it would make him think that we don't trust him, but he also thinks that it is sort of a way for parents to show they are concerned.
He thinks that it isn't an invasion of privacy because when you live at home what you do effects everyone so there isn't alot of privacy.
and this is my favorite part...
"But then, I don't need to do drugs so it's not like I'll worry about it."
I
my son! (and yes, I'm biased)
As far as what drugs. It didn't say on the commercial. Perhaps Doc might know more about that. Obviously pot would be a big one. Not sure which others.
Obviously not caffeine or cigarettes, and prolly not alcohol.
Okay...my son is 11 and like I said, I am an extremely involved parent. He and I talk about anything and everything, which is why I brought this up to him first. I wouldn't use it on him, but I am so damn curious about it for some reason.
I love the responses being put up here and am really happy to hear opinions from teens (which all went the way I thought they would) all the way through to people who already have kids. It's all very valid.
Ben-ja-men, I really love that your mum did that. I have too, all the time in fact. My parents refused to acknowledge that I needed help and I nearly died. We didn't talk alot about anything and I vowed to not be that kind of parent. So I didn't wait. Noah has known since he was little the effects of drinking, drugs, lack of education, etc. I show him photos of things going on in the world and we discuss it together. I want him to be well informed.
At the same time I am protective. I know where he is at all times, and he is awesome about checking in with me. He even keeps a walkie talkie on him when he walks to his friends house. Independence with mom comfort.
He is not allowed to have tv in his bedroom or a computer in there either. He's 11. There is no need for it. When he is on the computer, we are there to make sure he is safe. I check his email account periodically to make sure he is not preyed upon. He doesn't have an IM program. It's not that I don't trust him. I do. I don't trust other people with him. He is my baby and my life.We don't smoke. We don't do drugs. Most of our friends don't. We have the occassional drink, with him around and I have allowed him a sip. He doesn't like the taste. I don't want taboo in my house, because then it is all appealling.
I, personally, think these are better options to a test in a box. However, I also recognise that many parents do not have the communication with their children that we have with him. Perhaps this may serve as a catalyst for discussion for them.
I also have to say I have extremely strong feelings on the topics of drunkeness and drug use, but while he knows how I feel about them, I also am not a tyrant with absolutes. I want him to have a well rounded opinion.
So...Noah's, age 11, thoughts on the test.
It would make him think about not doing drugs because he would be afraid of coming home and having to be tested.
It would hurt his feelings because it would make him think that we don't trust him, but he also thinks that it is sort of a way for parents to show they are concerned.
He thinks that it isn't an invasion of privacy because when you live at home what you do effects everyone so there isn't alot of privacy.
and this is my favorite part...
"But then, I don't need to do drugs so it's not like I'll worry about it."
I
my son! (and yes, I'm biased)As far as what drugs. It didn't say on the commercial. Perhaps Doc might know more about that. Obviously pot would be a big one. Not sure which others.
Obviously not caffeine or cigarettes, and prolly not alcohol.
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
Firstly, I think there is far far far too much UNDERparenting of teenagers.
As a school teacher, I find out about some of the stuff that goes on behind closed doors. We've got MANY alcoholic 14 and 15 year olds... not like the 'beer on a friday night at a party' but like 'Bottle of vodka on a tuesday at 9AM.' The same is true for drugs.
I know I end up sounding conservative because I don't belive that children should be so stoned all day that they can't function at school.
There are many many parents who are pro-marijuana or at least see no harm in it because they occasionally smoked it under the bleachers at a football game or two. My problem is that they also see no harm in their teenager being completely stoned all the time to the point of not being able to function.
In the suburbs the general philosophy is "let them do whatever they want here as long as they do it here." That means binge drinking, drunken sex, binge drug use, drunk driving (oh LOTS of drunk driving but it's cool because at least they're not driving into the city)...
With that said, then you've got the OTHER extreme of like those 5 parents who are crazy crazy crazy over-protective or paranoid.
Unfortunately, the crazyoverprotective ones are the ones that would use the drug testing as a further intrusion on any independence.
With that said, I have seen specific cases where 'at home drug tests' are WONDERFUL.
I had one particular drug-addict student who got in all sort of trouble. He went into treatment and got cleaned up. His parents used a drug test as a part of his agreed therapy. He really didn't want to use drugs but, since he was an addict, it was difficult with all the temptation. I think the fact that he knew his parents would be testing him made it easier for him to 'say no' in situations where he might be tempted. It sort of gave him an excuse or an 'out' being that when he was rational he really didn't want to be using.
As for Noah, he's the most overly mature kid ever. I've no doubt he's thinking for himself.
BUT, as someone who sees the 'other' side I will say... NO parent 'knows' their 15 year old kid. They might know a particular aspect of their 15 year old kid, they might even know a large aspect of their 15 year old kid. I don't know why my 15 year old students tell me what they do, and I also know that what they tell me is the tip of the iceberg (since I often lecture them that if they tell me particular things I'll report them... and sometimes they still tell me perhaps SO that I'll report them.)
There's so many differences between a 14 year old and an 18 year old. I think that so many people don't remember.
So my answer to the question is obviously "It depends on the situation." No child should be given unlimited freedom (even though it's easier for the parent), no child should be stifled to the point of smothering (even though it's easier ON the parent.)
But, from what I see every day, there are many teenagers that could use A parent.
"I trust my kid" is all to often synonymous with "I'm too lazy/tired to do my job as a parent."
Firstly, I think there is far far far too much UNDERparenting of teenagers.
As a school teacher, I find out about some of the stuff that goes on behind closed doors. We've got MANY alcoholic 14 and 15 year olds... not like the 'beer on a friday night at a party' but like 'Bottle of vodka on a tuesday at 9AM.' The same is true for drugs.
I know I end up sounding conservative because I don't belive that children should be so stoned all day that they can't function at school.
There are many many parents who are pro-marijuana or at least see no harm in it because they occasionally smoked it under the bleachers at a football game or two. My problem is that they also see no harm in their teenager being completely stoned all the time to the point of not being able to function.
In the suburbs the general philosophy is "let them do whatever they want here as long as they do it here." That means binge drinking, drunken sex, binge drug use, drunk driving (oh LOTS of drunk driving but it's cool because at least they're not driving into the city)...
With that said, then you've got the OTHER extreme of like those 5 parents who are crazy crazy crazy over-protective or paranoid.
Unfortunately, the crazyoverprotective ones are the ones that would use the drug testing as a further intrusion on any independence.
With that said, I have seen specific cases where 'at home drug tests' are WONDERFUL.
I had one particular drug-addict student who got in all sort of trouble. He went into treatment and got cleaned up. His parents used a drug test as a part of his agreed therapy. He really didn't want to use drugs but, since he was an addict, it was difficult with all the temptation. I think the fact that he knew his parents would be testing him made it easier for him to 'say no' in situations where he might be tempted. It sort of gave him an excuse or an 'out' being that when he was rational he really didn't want to be using.
As for Noah, he's the most overly mature kid ever.
I've no doubt he's thinking for himself.BUT, as someone who sees the 'other' side I will say... NO parent 'knows' their 15 year old kid. They might know a particular aspect of their 15 year old kid, they might even know a large aspect of their 15 year old kid. I don't know why my 15 year old students tell me what they do, and I also know that what they tell me is the tip of the iceberg (since I often lecture them that if they tell me particular things I'll report them... and sometimes they still tell me perhaps SO that I'll report them.)
There's so many differences between a 14 year old and an 18 year old. I think that so many people don't remember.
So my answer to the question is obviously "It depends on the situation." No child should be given unlimited freedom (even though it's easier for the parent), no child should be stifled to the point of smothering (even though it's easier ON the parent.)
But, from what I see every day, there are many teenagers that could use A parent.
"I trust my kid" is all to often synonymous with "I'm too lazy/tired to do my job as a parent."
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Each brand can carry a different panel, but... this brand is pretty representative
Written by: Pele
As far as what drugs. It didn't say on the commercial. Perhaps Doc might know more about that. Obviously pot would be a big one. Not sure which others.
Obviously not caffeine or cigarettes, and prolly not alcohol.
Each brand can carry a different panel, but... this brand is pretty representative
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
I always tell my parents that they should be able to answer four questions at all times:
"Where is my kid?"
"Who is he with?"
"When will he be back?"
"How is he getting back?"
And there needs to be a mechanism in place to check the answers. My mom called the school once to make sure I was there. It was overkill since I never skipped a single class in high school. Not ONCE. She also called my friends' houses sometimes when I was over there.
Now how the hell was I supposed to do drugs when my mom was watching me from afar constantly? Not that I wanted to...
I'm not anti-adults doing drugs, I'm anti-teens doing drugs.
Written by: NYC
Firstly, I think there is far far far too much UNDERparenting of teenagers.
I always tell my parents that they should be able to answer four questions at all times:
"Where is my kid?"
"Who is he with?"
"When will he be back?"
"How is he getting back?"
And there needs to be a mechanism in place to check the answers. My mom called the school once to make sure I was there. It was overkill since I never skipped a single class in high school. Not ONCE. She also called my friends' houses sometimes when I was over there.
Now how the hell was I supposed to do drugs when my mom was watching me from afar constantly? Not that I wanted to...
I'm not anti-adults doing drugs, I'm anti-teens doing drugs.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
marmite and nutella sandwich
1,590 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
1,590 posts
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Posted:
Yeah, i have those kind of parents. They don't let me do ANYTHING. They put a web protection thing on my computer so i don't see dead people and some other stupid stuff (i don't mind it blocking porn, that doesn't matter to me). They rarely let me out after dark and think it's dangerous to go around cycling on a cycle path with lights on when it's dusk because a car might crash into me.
Written by: NYC
With that said, then you've got the OTHER extreme of like those 5 parents who are crazy crazy crazy over-protective or paranoid.
Unfortunately, the crazyoverprotective ones are the ones that would use the drug testing as a further intrusion on any independence.
With that said, I have seen specific cases where 'at home drug tests' are WONDERFUL.
Yeah, i have those kind of parents. They don't let me do ANYTHING. They put a web protection thing on my computer so i don't see dead people and some other stupid stuff (i don't mind it blocking porn, that doesn't matter to me). They rarely let me out after dark and think it's dangerous to go around cycling on a cycle path with lights on when it's dusk because a car might crash into me.
THE hop Pyro.
(with parents)
Unowned
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