Forums > Social Chat > For Shame
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the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
So, when I meet people of an "older set" I tend to be very embarrassed almost ashamed to tell them what I do. I realized this the other night when I was talking with PWB. There are stigma's attached to circus style skills, to Bellydancing and to the arts in general and I don't want those directly applied to be just because this is my passion. I also have found that trying to explain these things to these particular people tends to illicit a negaive reaction because their minds do not expand that way, they simply do not work in that scope.
Does anyone else face this ever?
In many other circles of people I am very proud of what I do. And this is not an avoidable situation, as I have to be around my friends parents and such. I am facing meeting another set at the end of the week and have no idea how to handle it. To ignore the question would be rude, and I would not lie. It is no secret that I am emotional and stubborn so the harsh statements that come from these people really do effect me.
I am knowledgable and very proud of what I do, until I get backed into a corner, and this is truly how I feel in these situations.
Anyone else ever feel ashamed, of anything in thier lives?
So, when I meet people of an "older set" I tend to be very embarrassed almost ashamed to tell them what I do. I realized this the other night when I was talking with PWB. There are stigma's attached to circus style skills, to Bellydancing and to the arts in general and I don't want those directly applied to be just because this is my passion. I also have found that trying to explain these things to these particular people tends to illicit a negaive reaction because their minds do not expand that way, they simply do not work in that scope.
Does anyone else face this ever?
In many other circles of people I am very proud of what I do. And this is not an avoidable situation, as I have to be around my friends parents and such. I am facing meeting another set at the end of the week and have no idea how to handle it. To ignore the question would be rude, and I would not lie. It is no secret that I am emotional and stubborn so the harsh statements that come from these people really do effect me.
I am knowledgable and very proud of what I do, until I get backed into a corner, and this is truly how I feel in these situations.
Anyone else ever feel ashamed, of anything in thier lives?
Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
*shiny shiny*
218 posts
Location: Townsville, QLD, Aust.
218 posts
Location: Townsville, QLD, Aust.
Posted:
no1 should ever get shut out from their family due to how they are!
i feel very sorry for you, brainstroma, as i am too shut out alot from some of my family... simply because i am different.
oh dear god- heaven forbid i peirce my ears eleven times and my bellybutton... dye my hair pink/green/yellow/purple/red for the hell of it... oh no i wear knee high socks almost everywhere i go (cept when twirling... das jus silly)... i hoon around in my lil mighty boy and have a great time doing burnouts and whatnot... my friends are knobs and i love them for it...
and then on top of all that (which i dont think is much) i am a pagan who practices ancient egyptian magic! oh and of course i twirl...
and because of that- i was BANNED from seeing my next oldest cousin... so therefore i now have to hang with cousins who are under 6!!! yay.
but then again the family do accept me... love my weirdness. mind u my aunty had a moehawk (sp?) when she was my age... (17) lol so... in a way i am like her... so the family is used to it.
but when its family- arent they meant to love ya no matter what? thats the rule of being in a family i always thought. i dont look down upon my very religious family memebers because they spend all their free time at church- i say good on them.. if thats what they wanna do... but... ugh.
it hurts even more when its family shutting you out. strangers u can deal- they dont knwo u, u dont know them... you'll never see them again... and they have no right judging a book by its cover. but family. they know u inside out...
as for the original topic of the thread (sorry for wandering)
i work with old farts... and well there are 2 of us (well was) that did fire twirling... and they used to diss the other guy (behind his back) they still do actually and he isnt even working there anymore. but anywho... they always ask me "u seen cam lately? the weird one" and i think to myself... i do the exact same as cam yet they dont think im weird... whys that??? and when i remind them that i am the same as cam they bring up all these other reasons why he was more weird or sumfin... blah blah blah...
i am proud to say that i am a twirler... i am proud to say im weird... (if u ever see my car u'll understand) i never let ppl get me down- and if they do... i hide it. (or try too)
we are beautiful ppl my fellow hoppers.... we should not be ashamed of who we are... the ones who should be ashameed are those who make us feel that way.
(i hope this post made sence... i had so many disruptions from my mother whilst writing it i dunno if it stayed on track. hehe.)
for all!
no1 should ever get shut out from their family due to how they are!
i feel very sorry for you, brainstroma, as i am too shut out alot from some of my family... simply because i am different.
oh dear god- heaven forbid i peirce my ears eleven times and my bellybutton... dye my hair pink/green/yellow/purple/red for the hell of it... oh no i wear knee high socks almost everywhere i go (cept when twirling... das jus silly)... i hoon around in my lil mighty boy and have a great time doing burnouts and whatnot... my friends are knobs and i love them for it...
and then on top of all that (which i dont think is much) i am a pagan who practices ancient egyptian magic! oh and of course i twirl...
and because of that- i was BANNED from seeing my next oldest cousin... so therefore i now have to hang with cousins who are under 6!!! yay.
but then again the family do accept me... love my weirdness. mind u my aunty had a moehawk (sp?) when she was my age... (17) lol so... in a way i am like her... so the family is used to it.
but when its family- arent they meant to love ya no matter what? thats the rule of being in a family i always thought. i dont look down upon my very religious family memebers because they spend all their free time at church- i say good on them.. if thats what they wanna do... but... ugh.
it hurts even more when its family shutting you out. strangers u can deal- they dont knwo u, u dont know them... you'll never see them again... and they have no right judging a book by its cover. but family. they know u inside out...
as for the original topic of the thread (sorry for wandering)
i work with old farts... and well there are 2 of us (well was) that did fire twirling... and they used to diss the other guy (behind his back) they still do actually and he isnt even working there anymore. but anywho... they always ask me "u seen cam lately? the weird one" and i think to myself... i do the exact same as cam yet they dont think im weird... whys that??? and when i remind them that i am the same as cam they bring up all these other reasons why he was more weird or sumfin... blah blah blah...
i am proud to say that i am a twirler... i am proud to say im weird... (if u ever see my car u'll understand) i never let ppl get me down- and if they do... i hide it. (or try too)
we are beautiful ppl my fellow hoppers.... we should not be ashamed of who we are... the ones who should be ashameed are those who make us feel that way.
(i hope this post made sence... i had so many disruptions from my mother whilst writing it i dunno if it stayed on track. hehe.)
for all!
And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go. It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.
BRONZE Member
wandering thru the woods of WI
3,556 posts
Location: Wisconsin, USA
wandering thru the woods of WI
3,556 posts
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posted:
my family thinks it's dumb and the rest of it, they don't like they way i dress, they don't like the music i listen to, they don't like how i practice my faith (we are all Catholic, but practice and show it differently).
i don't really feel shame about it all, it just makes me angry because i feel like they aren't supportive about my interests. i'm glad they do support me financially when i need it, but i don't feel emotional or mental support. but i stopped feeling ashame, it's not my problem, it's theirs
my family thinks it's dumb and the rest of it, they don't like they way i dress, they don't like the music i listen to, they don't like how i practice my faith (we are all Catholic, but practice and show it differently).
i don't really feel shame about it all, it just makes me angry because i feel like they aren't supportive about my interests. i'm glad they do support me financially when i need it, but i don't feel emotional or mental support. but i stopped feeling ashame, it's not my problem, it's theirs
Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed
Mosh-mosh-mosh-mosh.
346 posts
Location: Midlands
346 posts
Location: Midlands
Posted:
I've always been insecure and worried about what people thought about me, but bit by bit I've started to realise several things;
True friends wouldn't judge me.
Anyone who gives me grief or lip over my budding new hobby can go choke for all I care.
I've realised that in the last few years I've come to surround myself with narrow-minded, arrogant bullieswho I thought were worthy of my time and attention.
The straw that broke this donkeys back was the imptus for my "Is Poi a rockers hobby?" type thread.
I do things that make me happy now, if someone dosn't like it, they don't have to watch, be aware, support me or even be a part in my life or me in theirs.
I've found something that I really feel for and I'm not gonna let anyone bully me, belittle me or mock me for it.
Doubt I could make a profession at it though ! Desks/Computers/Phones it is for me !
I've always been insecure and worried about what people thought about me, but bit by bit I've started to realise several things;
True friends wouldn't judge me.
Anyone who gives me grief or lip over my budding new hobby can go choke for all I care.
I've realised that in the last few years I've come to surround myself with narrow-minded, arrogant bullieswho I thought were worthy of my time and attention.
The straw that broke this donkeys back was the imptus for my "Is Poi a rockers hobby?" type thread.
I do things that make me happy now, if someone dosn't like it, they don't have to watch, be aware, support me or even be a part in my life or me in theirs.
I've found something that I really feel for and I'm not gonna let anyone bully me, belittle me or mock me for it.
Doubt I could make a profession at it though ! Desks/Computers/Phones it is for me !
Xbox360 Live ID - Sacred Apollyon
"Enemies you threaten make armies. Enemies you destroy make graves."
"Here is a test to see if your mission on earth is finished: If your alive it isn't."
SILVER Member
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...
old hand
853 posts
Location: Behind you...
Posted:
I don't ever feel ashamed for doing poi, but occasionally embarrassed for some reason so I don't tend to talk about it when I'm round my family or at work... it's not so much the comments, sometimes just a certain look people give me that makes me wish I'd never said anything. Especially at work (I work with management consultants and CEOs), people just look at me and it's like they just don't know what to say about it, because in their worlds, this would never be a socially-acceptable pastime.
A few of these posts remind me of this poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer:
The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
I don't ever feel ashamed for doing poi, but occasionally embarrassed for some reason so I don't tend to talk about it when I'm round my family or at work... it's not so much the comments, sometimes just a certain look people give me that makes me wish I'd never said anything. Especially at work (I work with management consultants and CEOs), people just look at me and it's like they just don't know what to say about it, because in their worlds, this would never be a socially-acceptable pastime.
A few of these posts remind me of this poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer:
The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
Idolized by Aurinoko
Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....
Bob Dylan
burning from inside
165 posts
Location: anywhere but here
165 posts
Location: anywhere but here
Posted:
good one...
first time i showed spinning to my friends, they just stared at me and thought i´m crazy - now, they want me to spin on every possible occasion - even if i´m not really good
my family on the other hand doesn´t understand at all - but what the hell - they don´t understand a lot of other things, so why should i care...
Written by: Sir_Sheep
People at work are used to me coming in, brandising poi, swords, bows... In fact its when I'm not doing something 'strange' or 'weird' they get worried.
------------------------------
Do what you wanna do. If they don't like it, just ask em not to watch.
good one...
first time i showed spinning to my friends, they just stared at me and thought i´m crazy - now, they want me to spin on every possible occasion - even if i´m not really good
my family on the other hand doesn´t understand at all - but what the hell - they don´t understand a lot of other things, so why should i care...
that's YOUR opinion...
from fire we´re born, to fire we return...
burning from inside
165 posts
Location: anywhere but here
165 posts
Location: anywhere but here
Posted:
and yes - you are crazy, all of you, strange, different...but that´s just why you are such a great person.
and - a bit of maths. count all the people that you know and divide them into two groups - those who are proud of you and like you and those who feel...something different. and then compare them. i´m sure the first group of people is far larger - and so, if you care about people, let´s care about the larger group, ´cause that´s just democratic and we all know, one can´t satisfy all the people in the world...
and yes - you are crazy, all of you, strange, different...but that´s just why you are such a great person.
and - a bit of maths. count all the people that you know and divide them into two groups - those who are proud of you and like you and those who feel...something different. and then compare them. i´m sure the first group of people is far larger - and so, if you care about people, let´s care about the larger group, ´cause that´s just democratic and we all know, one can´t satisfy all the people in the world...
that's YOUR opinion...
from fire we´re born, to fire we return...
BRONZE Member
Super Gidg!!!!
8,506 posts
Location: Portland Oregon USA
Super Gidg!!!!
8,506 posts
Location: Portland Oregon USA
Posted:
I've never had a problem with people knowing what one of my many hobbies are. Everyone one that knows me knows that am I little off center when it comes to my life outside of work. What do you expect from a person that plays with fire, weaves and does ballroom dance?
I've never had a problem with people knowing what one of my many hobbies are. Everyone one that knows me knows that am I little off center when it comes to my life outside of work. What do you expect from a person that plays with fire, weaves and does ballroom dance?
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.
Gidg
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