Forums > Social Discussion > How important is your birthday to you?

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Pele
Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:How important is celebrating your birthday to you?

What's the most important part of it to you?

This year has been an odd one, very emotional and completely empty for me. So it's just made me wonder about others views on theirs.


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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psy
newbie

Member Since: 28th Jan 2006
Total posts: 4
Posted:I use birthdays as a chance to get everyone together to have fun and celebrate. it doesnt matter if its my own or not, I think its a chance to surround yourself with cheer and the people you love

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Pogo69
Pogo69

there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
Location: limbo
Member Since: 6th Apr 2006
Total posts: 3764
Posted:ye, same psy... I was prepared for the crappiest bday of my life this year, but decided at the last moment to ditch work for a day to gather with friends...

that's what it's all about for me... gathering with friends and/or family, celebrating life in general with those you care about


completely empty, pele? that's not cool... hug

happy birthday, anyway... smile


--pogo (pat) [forever and always]

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FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:I have an idea what it's like, Pele. I hope you're not feeling bad about it... hug

Celebrating my birthday is important to me, but it has less to do with inviting people and prepare a party. Because it's an awful lot of work and appears phoney to me, making everybody happy because I was born.

It feels nice, that friends call and invite me over, but I really prefer to "make it my personal day" - in terms of going shopping, buying myself something I like, go to a spa, get myself pampered and relax.

Also I dislike people to shop for birthday presents - I dislike presents for special occasions (except anniversaries wink ) - I rather buy something when I come across it, knowing that a friend would love it.

Just as a sidenote: In some cultures the birthday is not a happy celebration due to the pain the mother suffered on that particular day...


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:I didn't really celebrate it this year, half because of some bad stuff going on then, and half because many of my friends are all over Europe... I don't like properly celebrating it when I'm not really happy. Just went for a spin and took some cake for whoever wanted to come along.

I'll half my unbirthday though, started doing that one year when around my birthday I had to put up with a stalking ex-boyfriend and couldn't be bothered to celebrate. So I now celebrate half-time between birthdays.

I think it's nice and important to have a birthday or something similar, it's the passing of time, remembering what the past year was like etc. My friends and I don't really do presents, so I can safely say it's not about that smile


"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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GothFrogette
GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton
Member Since: 10th Oct 2004
Total posts: 3999
Posted:I Hate my birthday and try my best to keep it as quiet as possible. this year was the best one i have ever had and even though it may seem as though i am being ungreatful to the people who made an effort i still wish it hadn't happend. i honestly don't look forward to it or celebrate it, i know i can not stop my birthday from happening.

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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alien_oddity
alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees
Member Since: 31st Dec 2004
Total posts: 7193
Posted:i hate my birthday too, i'm not really into the entire "family" thing nor do i see or use it as an excuse to get so drunk i cant remember a thing and spend the next few days in bed recovering. i do how ever try my best to make it to the last 3 day party of the year to have my fun wink

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Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:how important is my birthday to me? well this year i only realised it was my brithday 5 days before it happened.........

and nobody else makes anything of it, IF they remeber it. my boss got me a happy birthday balloon, thats pretty much it from outside my family.


"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:I like my birthday, I want to see how many i get and collect them all biggrin

This year I just got over sickness and diarrhea in time for my birthday- and Sym bought me croissants for breakfast, I got to dress up like a fairy and I went to Clapham to see hoppers.

Yep Birthdays are grand biggrin


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:My birthday falls on New Years Day which is crap day to celebrate it. On the one hand you still have a party for New Years which you enjoy but on the other it's never about your birthday so at an early age I learned to just not bother...



Especially one year when (having had a great turn out and great time for my 10th - ) none of my school friends came to my 11th. Was a bit depressed by that but my dad tore into me for being such a crybaby, reducing me to tears.



I still go out and/or attend gatherings on new years but I never make a thing of it being my birthday anymore.



Last one was nice though, went out with friends then went round to my (now ex)boyfriend's for breakfast and cinema... ubblove


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:Dave that really sucks. I remember at school I used to feel sorry for all the kids who were born on Christmas day. They only get one day a year of presents, whereas I get 2!

BTW- I would have come to your 11th!

We had "family new years parties" where my folks would invite loads of people round and my mum would end up snogging my dad's best mate and my dad would suck. and one time my dad's Ozzy mate Greg beat up our next door neighbour! ubblol
Blimey, I would have gladly come to your 11th!! ubblol hug


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:That's assuming you'd be invited! biggrin (Kidding dear hug ) you would've been more than welcome. As would Sym and Mollydog (especially if you brought Sym as a one-day loan present biggrin)

My parents said they tried to conceive me in time for Christmas (in Falmouth no less)! I was a week late... ubblol
They still try to fob off Christmas and New Year as one present anyway!


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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spinningstarlet
spinningstarlet

enthusiast
Location: Bradford *rolls eyes*
Member Since: 29th Aug 2006
Total posts: 271
Posted:i used to like birthdays, but this years was a bit rubbish. All my friends forgot, and then when i called to see if they wanted to do anything, had all made other plans with other people, and even after reminding them it was my birthday they still "couldn't be bothered" (yes thats exactly how they put it).

So yeah it really dons't bother me at all, i don't drink anymore so it isn't an excuse to get drunk, and theres nothing i can do on my birthday that i can't do any other day.

i do love buying presents for other people tho. but i tend to do that regardless of the occasion.


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alien_oddity
alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees
Member Since: 31st Dec 2004
Total posts: 7193
Posted:new years partys are sacred to me ubblol the police are spread so thin on the ground and there's so much they have to police they usually can't stop some events happening. prince of wales road is the most violent street in norfolk as it's the center of norwich club land so you can imagine all the police down there having to stop all the piss heads scrapping over taxi's etc let alone trying to break up an illegal rave with 100's of people ubblol

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:Dave, on your 11th, I think sym would probably have been 6 or 7! ubblol
EDITED_BY: jo_rhymes (1161007194)


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Would it have mattered to you on your 10th? wink

"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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The Tea Fairy
The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...
Member Since: 2nd Jul 2004
Total posts: 853
Posted:I don't like birthdays much, I always feel a bit down about how things still haven't worked out how I imagined they would a year ago, still have same problems etc so I usually try and keep them quiet. I have had some enjoyable ones though, mainly down to good friends of mine.

Like my 21st, I felt really down and didn't want to do anything, but my best mate got me to go to the pub for a quiet drink and then about 20 other friends turned up with cards and cake and stuff. I felt really touched by it, as I didn't think some of the people there would be bothered (I was having a very antisocial year!) and wasn't even sure if some of them actually liked me!

Last year was similar, wasn't going to do anything and didn't tell anyone it was my birthday but two of my best mates turned up on my doorstep with presents and cake and stuff, was completely unexpected but nice. I love my friends!

This year might be a bit different, I'm working in an office that loves birthdays (or any other excuse to go to the pub for the afternoon) so I think they'll make a fuss of me at work.

I think I get sad a lot on my birthday because I grew up as part of a really close group of friends, who were like my family, but we got broken up over the years by fights, arguments and just bad circumstances. I still really miss them sometimes and they used to make me feel really special on my birthday. frown

Guess it's what happens when you get older. It's like the film Stand By Me says near the start, you'll never have friends like the ones you made when you were 13 (or was it 12? And near the end of the film? Must watch that movie again some time!).


Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

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spritie
spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX
Member Since: 9th Sep 2001
Total posts: 2014
Posted:The same is true for me today as well, Pele.

Usually, it's a day I like to share with friends, or at least 1 person. In the past, I've scheduled things like going out to dinner as a group, or going bowling, fire spinning on the beach, or just being able to hang out with people I cherish.

This year, I didn't feel like doing any of that. It's a monday night, all my friends live at least an hour away, and I didn't feel like "forcing" people to come hang out with me. I know, I wouldn't actually be forcing people to drive to me, but sometimes that is how it seems if I am the one that is always doing the inviting.

I got a crappy night of sleep last night due to allergies, it's been pouring down rain all day so far, and I just foresee an evening spent in solitude making myself a nice dinner and working on the house a bit. My coworkers are taking me out to my favorite restaurant for lunch today, though, and one of them baked a cake which looks super yummy, so I did have some things to smile about when I got to work this morning.

I guess birthday celebrations ebb and flow just like life. Some years, it's nice to spend it with a group of people, and others it's just nice to chill and spend some quality time with yourself. This year is just a quality me year.


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87wt2gxq7
87wt2gxq7

veteran
Location: Birmingham
Member Since: 12th Apr 2005
Total posts: 1502
Posted:I'm not so much for birthdays.

Most of my friends are as slack as me so organising something is pretty much out of the question. I also can never think of anything to get others for presents so I don't expect them to get me any.

Though I suppose I should really make an effort next year for "the big three zero" as my mum puts it wink


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Firetramp
Firetramp

old hand
Location: Binstead, Isle of Wight
Member Since: 5th Sep 2005
Total posts: 896
Posted:On my birthday, I make pancakes and have it with icecream and warm chocolate sauce and drink strawberry milkshake to start the day. Later I will buy some cake (fruit or chocolate) so I'm sure I get the cake I like. Party with friends or not, I will put candles on it (the cake) and make a wish! I mean, that's what it's all about, isn't it? If I fancy something, I'll buy it but no, I won't wrap it, I'm not that sad! biggrin

Ask a question and be a fool for a minute...don't ask and be a fool your whole life.

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Pele
Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:Spritie...Happy Birthday sweetie! hug

Well, I've been asking PWB for years for a surprise party. It's never going to happen. I've thrown them, but never had one.

Friday, a friend and I went to a Seance and then for food. The Seance wasn't so fun as it was different than we thought it would be. I ended up in tears.
Then we went to dinner with another friend, a diva of a drag queen who bitched about EVERYTHING. I was happy when we dropped him off.

Saturday we worked on house stuff, which I like but my son decided to make it a very difficult day and tell me how much he wished I were a "normal" mom. It hurt my feelings.
PWB's mother came over to watch the son while PWB and I went out on a birthday date, but she criticised everything from our new bed, to Noah's bed, to our pets and that my apprentice, who is like a brother to us, has a key to our place. I wanted to tell her to just go.
PWB and I went out to dinner to start our date, then to a book store to kill time before the movie. He just wanted to read comics, so it made me sad he wasn't spending time with me, and then he got sick anyway. So we bought a movie we both wanted to see and came home instead. We sat to watch the movie and it was aweful. I mean AWEFUL!

Sunday we were going to go out for the entire day to a local outdoor museum that I love. It started soggy so we didn't go. Of course it ended sunny, and we could've and that made me sad. We did end up going for a very long walk which I enjoyed tremendously while Noah was at a friends to play (he didn't want to spend time with me). I found out that PWB hadn't really wanted to go to the museum anyway.

The entire weekend PWB and Noah fought to the point where I was nearly in tears.

Today is actually my birthday. So far only three friends could be bothered to wish me a happy one, not even my son did. I've actually gotten more wishes from online registries that I have.

I *was* geared up for a great weekend and it just sucked.
Not to mention that the weather has skipped autumn here, which is my favorite. It seemed to jump straight to winter and doesn't even smell like autumn anymore. frown

I hadn't realized until this weekend that celebrating with the people I love *is* important to me, or at least having it acknowledged. It's not about anything extravagent just being acknowledged I think. Hopefully it'll be late. I don't even mind that.


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Aeori
Aeori

member
Location: Dorking(home), Sunderland(uni)
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 77
Posted:Birthdays hmm I think the joy of birthdays starts to dissapear as you grow older. It becomes something to dread more than look forward to and it's not YOUR birthday party anymore. It's a party you throw for your friends, you organise it, buy the drinks and snacks and hope people turn up. This yeah I bought paintballing tickets for my friends so far only my bf and the guy who I was with when I bough the tickets wants to go. I've invited my flatmates and whomever even the people they're dating because I want them to come as they're my friends but they're 'not sure' if they'll like it.... wimps.
grr (rants) I mean seriously PAINTBALLING I know its all violent and stuff but it's so much fun! Where else excewpt illegally or in the army will you get to shoot at people? And I spent alot of money on those damn tickets! Not as much as it would have been if I had said we're going paintballing meet me at the place infact there's a discount on extra paintballs. I have it all worked out with prices and everything. How much people need to bring... *sigh*
It's reall hard to feel loved when people won't even meet you a 10th or the way. Complete organisation, money everyone needs to bring, where to meet when to meet which train to catch and I'm even paying for taxi fare from the station.


So yeah... birthdays are about getting together with those you care about. when it goes right it rocks but when it doesn't you feel unloved by those that couldn't bother but so much more grateful for the friends you have that did.


Fear my wrath and call me muffin for I am the muffin of doom!!

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spritie
spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX
Member Since: 9th Sep 2001
Total posts: 2014
Posted:Hang in there, sweetie. I'm sure the day will improve, at least that's what I keep telling myself. And Happy B-day right back at ya!

I've had a surprise party thrown for me once, and I hated every little bit of it. The person organizing forgot to make sure I didn't have any plans for when the intended to throw it, so I had to cancel the ones I had made. 2 boys came to "kidnap" me and didn't bother to realize that I both needed warmer clothing and food. I was informed that there was a blanket in the car and that there would be food where we were going. Little did they know that a blanket wouldn't keep me warm while we were waiting in line to see a haunted house (it was 60 degrees outside by that point, and I was in shorts and a t-shirt). The food, well, they had corn dogs. I absolutely hate those things, so they ordered some horrid chinese take-out for me instead. I wouldn't have cared about that, except for the fact that I tried to change clothes when the "kidnappers" came and also bring some leftovers along, but they would have none of it. Those things just left me feeling crappy, so I couldn't focus on the nice thing my friends were trying to do for me. I think that was the last surprise party we've thrown amongst the growing group of friends.

You did make me realize that I probably should have called my mother on her b-day this year (which I didn't do). I never realized moms would really want to hear from their children on such a day, so I will try to do so in the future. She always tries to call me, but I'm not close to her, so I really don't care if I hear from her or not.

Is there something you can do by yourself this evening that will make you happy? Maybe just take as little as 30 minutes or an hour out for yourself and do something small or indulgent? That way, you can end the day on a positive note.


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Aeori
Aeori

member
Location: Dorking(home), Sunderland(uni)
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 77
Posted: Written by: Pele



PWB's mother came over to watch the son while PWB and I went out on a birthday date, but she criticised everything from our new bed, to Noah's bed, to our pets and that my apprentice, who is like a brother to us, has a key to our place. I wanted to tell her to just go.



If the mother doesn't like you it's usually a good thing (obviously you would want the mother to like you but if she did she wouldn't be seeing you as a threat to her and her son or something...)
Though I'd like to say she was completly out of line and even though I don't know her and will never meet her I dislike her greatly because noone EVER has the right to criticise anything or anyone especially when their in your home... grrr mad she is mean

I don't know you but happy birthday. And don't cast off (not that you were) friends on the internet wishing you happy birthday. It's harder for these people to remember it than those in real life who see you everyday. And it's easier for them to just 'not bother' because they 'weren't online' or 'forgot'. Internet friends tend to be true ones and all who wished you happy birthday love you dearly.

I wish for you to be a chearful bunny regardless of crappy weekend and an evil PWB mother and arguing people because you are surrounded by people who love you even if you don't see them there.
hug
Hope your true birthday day turns out the way you deserve it to!!


Fear my wrath and call me muffin for I am the muffin of doom!!

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted: Written by: Juxtaposeur


Would it have mattered to you on your 10th? wink



no, I wasnt interested in boys til i was 15- and even then, not that much! ubblol


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:Well in order to still enjoy B-day when you grow old is to start counting backwards latest when you got 45... and as with women, you stop adding candles when they turn 30...

Spritie: happy b-day (here once more) wink smile


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:I'll be well chuffed when i reach 50 or 60! Hopefully i'll still be alive, of course. But blimey, when my mum starts moaning about her age, it's like "well, you know what the alternative is, love!" tongue

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:Birthdays are very active and fun, but I pretty much do the same as GothFrogette: just hang out and not try not to tell anyone its my birthday. It really isn't that hard.

I try not to celebrate my birthday, but to gather my family to go out somewhere and take my angel out on a date.

My parents forgot my last birthday, which pretty much destroyed the meaning of the word "birthday" to me.

Yeah... Birthdays seem to let me down at times, but each day I try to treat as a celebration.


"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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BansheeCat
veteran
Location: lost
Member Since: 29th Jul 2005
Total posts: 1247
Posted:I love Birthdays, mine and other peoples...

Although I would not say important? Just fun. A chance to appreciate people even more openly than usual.

I actually forgot one, the year I turned twenty. I was out in the jungle, hiking and camping , for a few months, and we just did not at all think about days, or time. It was another month later when I went " wait a minute..." And realized I had missed it! lol It still makes me confused about how old I am.

I am sure your child and your family love you very much Pele- maybe just did not think about how important it would be to you to have that acknowledged on a particular day. It sure would be nice to have people spoil you silly! But it does not always play out that way...Good thing is you get to try again next year! wink Or sooner even!

I dont expect anyone to do anything, not even me, and try to just enjoy whatever is happenning. If possible. Bad things on a birthday do feel heavier for some reason ? When it truly sucks( last year I got robbed, on top of all kinds of other trauma ) I do as Birgit does;let the day pass, and celebrate another time when things feel better...

Randomly declared it my birthday this summer, celebrated with pals at the EJC; went out, ate dessert first, sang songs , got gifts-- it was great!

Ps- mine is coming in a month, please send chocolate! wink


"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

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ben-ja-men
ben-ja-men

just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide
Member Since: 12th Jun 2003
Total posts: 2474
Posted:i dont celebrate my birthday i havnt since i was 16, partly because i didnt like the idea of doing something because it was what society said should be done, partly because i never really enjoyed having birthday partys (not through any fault of my parents efforts but more due to not being hard enough to deal with the real world and a fear of ppl not enjoying themselves and that being a reflection on me)

instead of celebrating birthdays i decided to celebrate achievemnts like winning the honours project presentation prize, getting first class hours, getting a scholarship, doing a phd etc. partly because i felt validated to celebrate these things as i had done well.

it wasnt until this year when brett and lou made me a cake inside a playdough cake that i really enjoyed having a birthday thing not because it was my birthday but because it was ppl i care about showing that they cared

pele i hope you got your late birthdayness


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?

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