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Kupsch
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

Member
Location: glasgow

Total posts: 163
Posted:why am i so unlucky in love?

Ive been in love before, and i have also been loved, but unfortunately never at the same time.

i am quite a nice person and very friendly and easy to talk to, but as soon as someone i like enters the scene i become a warbling mess, rubbish company and my conversation is "wack". whats wrong with me. frown

anyways i just felt like a wee rant. help me overcome the fear. *sigh*


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Kupsch
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

Member
Location: glasgow

Total posts: 163
Posted:tambo im sorry to hear about whats happened to you before. your right about the confidence thing, it is really important, although id have to say its nicer to hold back a bit instead of being really loud in front of people its just finding the right balance between thw two extremeties!



im feeling a bit better now, i had a moment of madness last week just feeling a bit crappy about my situation, but surely i should be relishing the fact that im young, single and have an amazing bunch of friends and have the freedom to do as i please, surely i should be enjoying it while i can. yes at the end of the day all of us want to find love, and someone to hold, but your right its not the be all end all, i was getting in a total tizzy! ~ i feel a bit silly now!!! i was feeling really insecure after breaking up with my boyfriend and stuff. i have to figure out what i need first instead of what i want right now (if that makes sense) thanks for all your comments, i dont think id be feeling better if i hadnt posted on here, i dont normally share much on forums but im glad i did!!! feel free to share your stories and thoughts though as ive never posted a thread that has gone on for two pages before and i like it and knowing me by next week ill be right back at sqaure one moaning to you guys haha! such is life!





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jungleboy


jungleboy

member
Location: Adelaide

Total posts: 40
Posted:mmm sounds familiar. In the face of rejection from a love interest you sink into a pit of despair only to realise after much pain that it is alright and you are fine and strong and going about your life in a semi coherent way, Then you realise that really that was an amazing person and you are going to miss out..... back come the stomach wrenching hair pulling stage. And like you say Kupsch its either a case of being loved or being in love but not at the same time, bit of a hard combination.

Anyway I send all of you struggling with stomach churning love problems a big hug


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Neon_Shaolin
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam

Total posts: 6120
Posted:Tragically after years of rejection and sexuality crisis my fragile little psyche tends to interpret that 'stomach wrenching feeling' as the norm for being in love.

So even if I'm happy with someone, I'm not. because I'm not feeling that all-consuming need for someone who won't have me... I am seeing someone at the moment but I can see it going the same way... (to be honest I'm not sure if I'd happy with him anyway but gonna give it a chance)

Worse thing is, I seem to have accepted that aspect about me and am content with the fact that long term relationships aren't gonna be my thing...


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston

Total posts: 2666
Posted: Written by:

So even if I'm happy with someone, I'm not. because I'm not feeling that all-consuming need for someone who won't have me... I am seeing someone at the moment but I can see it going the same way



Are you looking for that knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet dave? Blow you down with a feather? Prince charming, cloud nine? And all that lot? but you never find it, you just find lovley guys who are good boyfriends, but not what your looking for? Is that what you meant?


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Neon_Shaolin
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam

Total posts: 6120
Posted:I have no idea what I want. But I know when I find it...

Maybe I'm just someone who never got to sow his wild oats... Be a bit of a slag. Get it out of my system before I can even contemplate settling down.

Really not sure...


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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_Siege_
SILVER Member since Jan 2005

_Siege_

member
Location: I don't know anymore!!

Total posts: 181
Posted:Cannot believe I've only just found this thread! I've been wanting to post something similar for ages but didn't know where and also didn't have the guts. Was worried people would think I'm crazy or something.

Kupsch, I know exactly how you feel. I'm absolutely terrible when it comes to talking to someone I really like. For example, I showed up to the Play festival this year without knowing anyone and was happily meeting and chatting away to loads of people - made some great friends by the way! But as soon as I laid eyes on this one guy I couldn't bring myself to go and say hello to him. The people I was camping with obviously know who I'm talking about because i kept talking about him all the time! The stupid thing is that if I can randomly go up to 'normal' people and introduce myself why can't I do it with someone I like? They are just a 'normal' person like everyone else after-all.

At the mo I'm just concentrating on not obsessing and hopefully next time I see him at a festival or something I can go and talk to him, otherwise I'll just feel like a stalker!

Good luck to everyone who has posted on here by the way - hopefully we will all find happiness eventually (or already have it, you lucky people!)

grouphug heart


 Written by: RaveRepresent


there is always someone who thinks you are the most special, greatest person



Whoever that person is that thinks that about me - could you let me know coz the chances are I think that about you too! wink


Children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your day!!!

A few clowns short of a circus!

Damn right I'm good in bed - I can sleep for days!

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Kupsch
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

Member
Location: glasgow

Total posts: 163
Posted:thing that sounds awful is, even though its true, there is probably someone who thinks your the most special greatest person, if its not the person you want it to be, it doesnt really touch you as much. grr.

by the way, i edited my posts because i read over them and felt a bit stupid because i was obsessing over something completely ridiculous im laughing about it now and i was cringing at myself. but essentially, i do still feel like i need to aid my confidence when it comes to talking to people im attracted to.

siege im so glad you feel this way too but also sorry to hear about your "PLay" misfortune with that guy, maybe he was feeling the same? i am working on the cure for this terrible shyness, once ive cracked it, you's will be the first to know. (Ill be worth a fortune too!!)


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simta
BRONZE Member since Apr 2006

simta

compfuzzled
Location: hastings

Total posts: 1182
Posted: Written by: _Siege_


Kupsch, I know exactly how you feel. I'm absolutely terrible when it comes to talking to someone I really like. For example, I showed up to the Play festival this year without knowing anyone and was happily meeting and chatting away to loads of people - made some great friends by the way! But as soon as I laid eyes on this one guy I couldn't bring myself to go and say hello to him. The people I was camping with obviously know who I'm talking about because i kept talking about him all the time! The stupid thing is that if I can randomly go up to 'normal' people and introduce myself why can't I do it with someone I like? They are just a 'normal' person like everyone else after-all.




i think this wasnt an isolated story at play, i met some incredible people there, and gazed from afar at even more, altho i did manage to talk to a couple of these people.

it was kinda made easier at play, cos if someone was doing something u were into, then u cud kinda go over and b like oh have u done this move etc... but then that sounds cheesier than anything lol

pah, its never easy, but i have resigned myself to being pretty mch permanantly single confused


"the geeks have got you" - Gayle

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Sambo_Flux
GOLD Member since Jun 2006

Sambo_Flux

Introverted
Location: Norf London

Total posts: 833
Posted:Sim dude, I know exactly what you mean. Don't give up!! It will happen. I was single for 3 years at Uni, despite being surrounded by up-for-it students all in the same boat. Nearly drove me nuts, until I figured out why.



See, I'm fine with chatting to people, although I'm more at home with a few people than a crowd, and I generally get on well with people 1 to 1, even people I really like. The problem I have is a total inability to flirt AT ALL. frown



So I keep falling into the "friendship trap" as a mate calls it. I wind up being really good mates with whover I'm interested in. I'm not at all touchy feely by nature, so I guess I never come across as being interested, even when I'm crazy about that person. And the more I hang around them, the more frustrated with myself I get, my sense of humor vanishes, and I end up clamming up totally, which obviously is not the best way to pull. rolleyes



Best solution to the shyness I've found so far? beerchug ubblol

EDITED_BY: SamboFlux (1153699863)


My Mind is a Ship
Emotions become the Waves
Soul is the Ocean

If a quizz is quizzical, what is a test?

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tillymoo


tillymoo

member
Location: Brisbane

Total posts: 107
Posted:Kupsch, this thread is soo much up my alley! boys and my fruitless efforts in love is my favourite topic of conversation! and i totally sympathise with you. i am a massive flirt, and get 'crushes' really quickly, but once i decide i really like someone i totally loose my bubbly self from fear of rejection redface and i see other people meet someone and fall in love and conduct and successful relationship, but i doesn't seem to ever come together for me.

an older friend of mine told me to 'write a list' about the perfect man. she wrote a list, and it took her 5 years to find him, but when she did, he fit everyone of them and they have been together now for 8 years! so, i've written a list. it contains some basic 'he'll take care of me when i'm sick' kind of things right through to the more random 'knows all the words to the womble's theme tune' just so i know i've found the one one he appears! to tell you the truth, many of them are based on the last relationship i had and what i don't what to repeat from that. i have had my list for a year now, and i haven't found him, but another friend who was given the same advice did find her man, and every time i see her she looks happier and happier
ubblove

i had something really random happen to me recently. after really not having much action for a while, within a week, i got kissed (and it was absolutly them who made the first move) by 2 boys i had crushes on when i was 14!!!! i had to wait 12 years for those crushes to come to fruition! both of them i had lost contact with for a few years and was really enjoying getting to know them again. unfortunatly niether are really possibilities for a relationship at the moment.

i have a whole bunch of disasterous stories which i won't bore you with here, but if anyone want to feel better about their own problems in love, just ask me and yours will pale in comparison.


"A Thnead's a fine thing that all people need"
Dr Suess

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Sambo_Flux
GOLD Member since Jun 2006

Sambo_Flux

Introverted
Location: Norf London

Total posts: 833
Posted:I like the list idea Tillymoo! Great post! hug hug

My stories aren't really that bad, but I have a mate with a psychotic ex that actually stalked him for real and tried to suffocate him with a pillow. eek ubbloco


My Mind is a Ship
Emotions become the Waves
Soul is the Ocean

If a quizz is quizzical, what is a test?

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tillymoo


tillymoo

member
Location: Brisbane

Total posts: 107
Posted:Thanks SamboFlux biggrin just after i made my post i saw yours above mine. i like your avatar btw hehe

flirting is easy! just keep it light and funny - make personal jokes. flirting is really just giving your full attention to comeone and making them feel worthy. my very favourite thing is when a man catches my eye across a room and winks at me - it shows he is thinking about me!

alot of my disatrous stories revolve around my amazing skill to make men i am attracted to become irresistably attracted to someone else! it happened 4 times in 1 month once! confused


"A Thnead's a fine thing that all people need"
Dr Suess

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simta
BRONZE Member since Apr 2006

simta

compfuzzled
Location: hastings

Total posts: 1182
Posted:ohhh i can flirt lol thats never a difficulty

sam - no i aint giving up or anything lol

one thing that can get annoyin is jus cos you talk about this stuff in realistic terms everyone automatically thinks you're on the brink of some lack-of-love-induced suicide or something

nope, i just dont like dressing things up, if its a piece of sheeyat, ill call it one

and lets be honest alot of the time all this stuff is, but the only reason we carry on is because we know when it is right, its worth all that effort


"the geeks have got you" - Gayle

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Sambo_Flux
GOLD Member since Jun 2006

Sambo_Flux

Introverted
Location: Norf London

Total posts: 833
Posted: Written by: simta



nope, i just dont like dressing things up, if its a piece of sheeyat, ill call it one

and lets be honest alot of the time all this stuff is, but the only reason we carry on is because we know when it is right, its worth all that effort



I hear ya! biggrin Anyone heard the song "Loveshit" by The Wildhearts? Spiritual theme song of this thread. wink

The only reason we carry on is because we're genetically programmed to! DAMN YOU, GENES! *shakes fist at picture of double-helix in biology textbook* ubblol

Excuse my random sense of humor.... confused wink


My Mind is a Ship
Emotions become the Waves
Soul is the Ocean

If a quizz is quizzical, what is a test?

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badders
SILVER Member since Jun 2006

newbie
Location: Leeds

Total posts: 18
Posted:My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me on Monday and am competely gutted. Any handsome spinners want to sweep me off my feet?!

I may loose people. I may even loose my mind. But there's one thing I never loose....and that's the beat!

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monserat
SILVER Member since Apr 2006

monserat

My flabber is gasted
Location: waaaay south of heaven

Total posts: 737
Posted:SamboFlux: and 'My Baby is a Headf**k' for the flip side of things!

Badders: hug hug and a flower to help cheer you up @}--'--,--


Chaos is the natural state of the universe

Some days I'm the pigeon, some days I'm the statue.

honourary militant margerine ninJAH

If it wasn't for displacement activity I wouldn't get half as much done

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simta
BRONZE Member since Apr 2006

simta

compfuzzled
Location: hastings

Total posts: 1182
Posted: Written by: SamboFlux


The only reason we carry on is because we're genetically programmed to! DAMN YOU, GENES! *shakes fist at picture of double-helix in biology textbook* ubblol




well possibly , or maybe its jus cos i really really like women lol

badders --- thats harsh, if i still lived in bradford then i would be close enough to you to come sweep you off your feet hug


"the geeks have got you" - Gayle

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Sambo_Flux
GOLD Member since Jun 2006

Sambo_Flux

Introverted
Location: Norf London

Total posts: 833
Posted: Written by: monserat



SamboFlux: and 'My Baby is a Headf**k' for the flip side of things!







Monserat, damn right! I know all about that one, I actually had a nervous breakdown living with my ex ubbloco wink



Sim: What a dilemma! rolleyes True for both sexes: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. wink Unless you find the right person I guess. I live in hope! smile



badders: sorry to hear that, sending telepathic hugs!! hug hug I'd sweep you off your feet myself, but a) I'm not hansome and b) I live in london ubblol



'Greetings from Shitsville'! biggrin

EDITED_BY: SamboFlux (1153699925)


My Mind is a Ship
Emotions become the Waves
Soul is the Ocean

If a quizz is quizzical, what is a test?

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=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...

Total posts: 2719
Posted:I'm in love with someone.

Theyre not in love with me.

This sucks.

Its always been this way with me too. You find someone you like, and you try not to be pervy, but i'm naturally sinister looking anyway (for those that dont know me, i look like a psychotic Nazi poster boy. But fatter)

As the Littlest Hobo said "Maybe Tomorrow"


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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Bubbles_
SILVER Member since Nov 2004

Bubbles_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: mancunian

Total posts: 3383
Posted:no you dont pete! your lovely! hug

Disclaimer:im not responsible for what i say or do whether it be before,during and after drinking alcoholic substances (owned by BMVC).
Creater of Jenisms(TM)
Virginity like bubble,one prick all gone.

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=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs...

Total posts: 2719
Posted:Still doesn't change the issue!

Thanks hun hug Coming on Sun?


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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Bubbles_
SILVER Member since Nov 2004

Bubbles_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: mancunian

Total posts: 3383
Posted:hell yeah! wouldnt miss seeing you guys for anything!

but back on topic wink

ive never been lucky, havent had a bloke in a year now! eek ive met a couple but either it wasnt right, they were pratts etc etc

but then again, with the way my lifes going at the mo, im pretty much happy and not too fussed, although it would still be nice to meet somone


Disclaimer:im not responsible for what i say or do whether it be before,during and after drinking alcoholic substances (owned by BMVC).
Creater of Jenisms(TM)
Virginity like bubble,one prick all gone.

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simta
BRONZE Member since Apr 2006

simta

compfuzzled
Location: hastings

Total posts: 1182
Posted: Written by: the littlest hobo

Maybe tomorrow i'll learn to settle down, until tomorrow i'll just keep moving on



"the geeks have got you" - Gayle

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polarity
SILVER Member since May 2005

polarity

veteran
Location: on the wrong planet

Total posts: 1228
Posted:That'd be nice, but I'm stuck in one place and don't get to meet anyone. I need to learn to drive, get a van, and go festival hopping all summer.

I'm just worried because I've never done the whole tip-toeing around getting to know if someone likes me thing. I've been jumped on by a couple of decisive ladies in the past, but I'd like to meet someone who's quiet like me.


You aren't thinking or really existing unless you're willing to risk even your own sanity in the judgment of your existence.

Green peppers, lime pickle and whole-grain mustard = best sandwich filling.

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Sambo_Flux
GOLD Member since Jun 2006

Sambo_Flux

Introverted
Location: Norf London

Total posts: 833
Posted:I hear ya onthe quiet thing polarity! I'm fairly quiet too. I find people take it for disinterest sometimes, but it's more that I don't talk unless I think I genuinely have something to say (or i'm drunk, hehe).

There should be more decisive ladies out there!! wink


My Mind is a Ship
Emotions become the Waves
Soul is the Ocean

If a quizz is quizzical, what is a test?

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badders
SILVER Member since Jun 2006

newbie
Location: Leeds

Total posts: 18
Posted:Monserat and Simta - thanks guys! Tonnes of love xxx

I may loose people. I may even loose my mind. But there's one thing I never loose....and that's the beat!

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badders
SILVER Member since Jun 2006

newbie
Location: Leeds

Total posts: 18
Posted:And Samboflux - xxxxx

I may loose people. I may even loose my mind. But there's one thing I never loose....and that's the beat!

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wonderloey


wonderloey

enthusiast
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates

Total posts: 255
Posted:Ha.. I agree about the need for decisive women out there...

But that's just cos I'm a big sook when it comes to telling someone I'm interested.


"You've gone from Loey the Wonder Lesbian to everyone wondering if you are a lesbian." - Shadowman

Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.

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Sambo_Flux
GOLD Member since Jun 2006

Sambo_Flux

Introverted
Location: Norf London

Total posts: 833
Posted:I'm so crap at letting people know I'm interested too, I don't even know why. It's not that I'm scared of rejection, I just go wibbley when it comes to the crunch... shrug

*wibbles off back to work*


My Mind is a Ship
Emotions become the Waves
Soul is the Ocean

If a quizz is quizzical, what is a test?

Delete

Kupsch
SILVER Member since Jun 2004

Member
Location: glasgow

Total posts: 163
Posted:im heavy scared of rejection, i never tell people how i feel. but i think its fairly obvious from my inability to speak or say anything that makes sense and my constant teetering and laughing at everything i say.

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