Forums > Social Chat > unlucky in love
Login/Join to ParticipateSILVER Member
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Posted:
why am i so unlucky in love?
Ive been in love before, and i have also been loved, but unfortunately never at the same time.
i am quite a nice person and very friendly and easy to talk to, but as soon as someone i like enters the scene i become a warbling mess, rubbish company and my conversation is "wack". whats wrong with me.
anyways i just felt like a wee rant. help me overcome the fear. *sigh*
why am i so unlucky in love?
Ive been in love before, and i have also been loved, but unfortunately never at the same time.
i am quite a nice person and very friendly and easy to talk to, but as soon as someone i like enters the scene i become a warbling mess, rubbish company and my conversation is "wack". whats wrong with me.
anyways i just felt like a wee rant. help me overcome the fear. *sigh*
SILVER Member
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Posted:
As little as this helps, I know what you're going through.
As little as this helps, I know what you're going through.
Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.
SILVER Member
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Posted:
hey thanks, that does help.
hey thanks, that does help.
enthusiast
255 posts
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
255 posts
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
Posted:
*sigh*
I feel your pain. I too couldn't get myself together enough to have any kind of connections with someone. I had relationships where I was loved, but didn't love. I had unrequited obsessions.
I thought I'd never be happy. I'd never find a relationship, I would never find someone who was able to keep their own personality while being with me as well (I have a strong personality, and some of my old girlfriends seemed to give into my every whim rather than have their own say).
I chucked the whole relationship thing entirely, and found myself a couple of *ahem* casual partners.
And then I met my girl. She has had a disatrous track record too (she was single for a year before she met me). And it was just one of those perfect moments. Eyes across a crowded room kind of thing, I just got along with her so well that when we kissed, it wasn't even a conscious thing... It just happened.
I was told 6 months earlier that I'd get along well with this girl, and I shrugged it off.. And if I had met her then, I wouldn't be ready to be in a relationship with her.
It took me twenty-five years, but I'm finally in a relationship where I love and am loved.
There is hope. I thought I'd never be where I am. I was in despair of ever finding someone. I taught myself to be happy on my own, and everything else came as a result of that.
Good luck hon!!!
*sigh*
I feel your pain. I too couldn't get myself together enough to have any kind of connections with someone. I had relationships where I was loved, but didn't love. I had unrequited obsessions.
I thought I'd never be happy. I'd never find a relationship, I would never find someone who was able to keep their own personality while being with me as well (I have a strong personality, and some of my old girlfriends seemed to give into my every whim rather than have their own say).
I chucked the whole relationship thing entirely, and found myself a couple of *ahem* casual partners.
And then I met my girl. She has had a disatrous track record too (she was single for a year before she met me). And it was just one of those perfect moments. Eyes across a crowded room kind of thing, I just got along with her so well that when we kissed, it wasn't even a conscious thing... It just happened.
I was told 6 months earlier that I'd get along well with this girl, and I shrugged it off.. And if I had met her then, I wouldn't be ready to be in a relationship with her.
It took me twenty-five years, but I'm finally in a relationship where I love and am loved.
There is hope. I thought I'd never be where I am. I was in despair of ever finding someone. I taught myself to be happy on my own, and everything else came as a result of that.
Good luck hon!!!
"You've gone from Loey the Wonder Lesbian to everyone wondering if you are a lesbian." - Shadowman
Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.
SILVER Member
addict
567 posts
Location: USA
addict
567 posts
Location: USA
Posted:
's to you. Love is a very complicated subject. Yet it is a rare thing to find, its treasures are the most cherished and praised by all. Keep your chin up, i bet you there is some guy thinking about you, wondering how to tell you that he loves you. It isnt that easy for us men to open up. There are alot of sexist statements about us (no complaints 
) but there is always someone who thinks you are the most special, greatest person. I really hope that you do find love, this is a matter of waiting for the right moment. Love will come out and shine its elegant grace when the time is adequate. Good luck and even more 's to you!!!!!
's to you. Love is a very complicated subject. Yet it is a rare thing to find, its treasures are the most cherished and praised by all. Keep your chin up, i bet you there is some guy thinking about you, wondering how to tell you that he loves you. It isnt that easy for us men to open up. There are alot of sexist statements about us (no complaints ) but there is always someone who thinks you are the most special, greatest person. I really hope that you do find love, this is a matter of waiting for the right moment. Love will come out and shine its elegant grace when the time is adequate. Good luck and even more 's to you!!!!! "I don't know what you are talking about"
"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"
"Its not working my lord!"
"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,666 posts
Location: Preston, United Kingdom
Posted:
I fell in love once, he left without telling me it was over, I knew him for three years and we went out for 6 months. Even if you just take just one of those into account didnt I deserve to be told it was over? He took me out, kissed me goodbye told me he'd take some time off work next week, and I never heard from him again after that.
Now my current boyfriend has disapeared for a little over 2 weeks, im starting to think its going to happen all over again. Hes the only one ive had any real feelings for at all since steve I dont know if I can handle that again if it happens.
I fell in love once, he left without telling me it was over, I knew him for three years and we went out for 6 months. Even if you just take just one of those into account didnt I deserve to be told it was over? He took me out, kissed me goodbye told me he'd take some time off work next week, and I never heard from him again after that.
Now my current boyfriend has disapeared for a little over 2 weeks, im starting to think its going to happen all over again. Hes the only one ive had any real feelings for at all since steve I dont know if I can handle that again if it happens.
Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat
'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?
SILVER Member
My flabber is gasted
737 posts
Location: waaaay south of heaven, United Kingdom
My flabber is gasted
737 posts
Location: waaaay south of heaven, United Kingdom
Posted:
Sounds familiar Kupsch, sucks doesn't it? All I can advise is to try not to dwell on it too much (no point in saying don't dwell on it at all as I know you will 
). Being with someone isn't the be-all and end-all and getting obssessed with it doesn't do you any good. Going hunting for love is the surest way I know not to find it. It's hard sometimes but you just have to wait I'm afraid, and try to have a good a time as you can inbetween.
Sounds familiar Kupsch, sucks doesn't it? All I can advise is to try not to dwell on it too much (no point in saying don't dwell on it at all as I know you will ). Being with someone isn't the be-all and end-all and getting obssessed with it doesn't do you any good. Going hunting for love is the surest way I know not to find it. It's hard sometimes but you just have to wait I'm afraid, and try to have a good a time as you can inbetween. Chaos is the natural state of the universe
Some days I'm the pigeon, some days I'm the statue.
honourary militant margerine ninJAH
If it wasn't for displacement activity I wouldn't get half as much done
newbie
8 posts
8 posts
Posted:
wow all you peeps who answered are so nice! really thoughtfull and kind advise. i am in the same kinda predicament and reading your replys even made ME feel better.
good on you
wow all you peeps who answered are so nice! really thoughtfull and kind advise. i am in the same kinda predicament and reading your replys even made ME feel better.
good on you
SILVER Member
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Posted:
edit...
edit...
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'll second that.
You have your whole life in front of you! Just wait and they will come to you.
I have huge shyness and anxiety issues and I've found this to help loads when I'm 'on-the-pull'.
If ever a guy approaches me and starts talking to me, I completly ignore the fact that they are a) A man with a willy and b) the fact that they are really really hot.
I look at them as a person. An it. I talk to them with the view of finding out more about them.
That way I don't clam up, my stammer dosn't come back and I can talk to them with a cool head on.
Lastly just enjoy yourself!
Confidance and a huge smile wearing tracksuit bottoms and a top with pot noodles stains on it is far more attractive to me that somebody tarted up to the nines with her tits out..
Smile!
Written by: monserat
All I can advise is to try not to dwell on it too much
I'll second that.
You have your whole life in front of you! Just wait and they will come to you.
I have huge shyness and anxiety issues and I've found this to help loads when I'm 'on-the-pull'.
If ever a guy approaches me and starts talking to me, I completly ignore the fact that they are a) A man with a willy and b) the fact that they are really really hot.
I look at them as a person. An it. I talk to them with the view of finding out more about them.
That way I don't clam up, my stammer dosn't come back and I can talk to them with a cool head on.
Lastly just enjoy yourself!
Confidance and a huge smile wearing tracksuit bottoms and a top with pot noodles stains on it is far more attractive to me that somebody tarted up to the nines with her tits out..
Smile!
SILVER Member
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Posted:
hehe your so right ~ not trying to sound up myself but i dont have a huge problem getting people to fancy me because im quite friendly and down to earth (do i sound too up myself...hope not..its not my intentions)...but as soon as i fancy them i become a warbling mess with rubbsh chat and dont know where to put my eyes or hands and i start shaking and stuff..... its rotten!
hehe your so right ~ not trying to sound up myself but i dont have a huge problem getting people to fancy me because im quite friendly and down to earth (do i sound too up myself...hope not..its not my intentions)...but as soon as i fancy them i become a warbling mess with rubbsh chat and dont know where to put my eyes or hands and i start shaking and stuff..... its rotten!
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
Blind, Deaf and Dead people know that I am a shameless flirt on here flirting with every man I come across in these forums. Most of them are straight which means it's usually just harmless fun.
But in the past as soon as I'm faced with a gay/bi man I find attractive - someone who CAN find me attractive but MIGHT also turn me down. I clam up and go quiet...Look in the other direction... Hell, RUN in the other direction!
Blind, Deaf and Dead people know that I am a shameless flirt on here flirting with every man I come across in these forums. Most of them are straight which means it's usually just harmless fun.
But in the past as soon as I'm faced with a gay/bi man I find attractive - someone who CAN find me attractive but MIGHT also turn me down. I clam up and go quiet...Look in the other direction... Hell, RUN in the other direction!
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
SILVER Member
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Posted:
Internet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
Posted:
None of it ever comes my way though.
Still, I have to beat that Asena chap off with a stick sometimes...
Written by: Dave
Blind, Deaf and Dead people know that I am a shameless flirt on here flirting with every man I come across in these forums. Most of them are straight which means it's usually just harmless fun.
None of it ever comes my way though.
Still, I have to beat that Asena chap off with a stick sometimes...
The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
GOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Posted:
Why use a stick?
Written by: Neon_Shaolin
I clam up and go quiet...Look in the other direction... Hell, RUN in the other direction!
Why use a stick?
"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock
SILVER Member
member
80 posts
Location: Derby UK
member
80 posts
Location: Derby UK
Posted:
ive also been unlucky in love, been single for the last 7 years, met someone last august, but unlucky for me she was about to go on a gap year! and she had been the only girl who cared for me as more than a friend in those 7 years! but right now i do belive my luck is changing, well touch wood they are.
ive also been unlucky in love, been single for the last 7 years, met someone last august, but unlucky for me she was about to go on a gap year! and she had been the only girl who cared for me as more than a friend in those 7 years! but right now i do belive my luck is changing, well touch wood they are.
I am a sig virus place me in you sig so that i can continue to replicate
Rgds Drofkcah
BRONZE Member
I wear yellow on monday
551 posts
Location: Farnham Ahoy, United Kingdom
I wear yellow on monday
551 posts
Location: Farnham Ahoy, United Kingdom
Posted:
Ah love. Ive never known it myself. I havent met anyone who im perfectly comfortable with, and then i either get rid or i do something so they finish it. welcome to the world divorced parents make!!
i think though kupsch, that the nervous conversation at the begining of meeting someone is great. everyone always says the weirdest things when their nervous and trying to look their best! its well funny!
Ah love. Ive never known it myself. I havent met anyone who im perfectly comfortable with, and then i either get rid or i do something so they finish it. welcome to the world divorced parents make!!
i think though kupsch, that the nervous conversation at the begining of meeting someone is great. everyone always says the weirdest things when their nervous and trying to look their best! its well funny!
You'll find me on the dance floor
SILVER Member
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Posted:
hmmm
EDITED_BY: Kupsch (1168797948)
hmmm
EDITED_BY: Kupsch (1168797948)
GOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales
Posted:
Or he fancies you as much as you do him and he is tongue tied too?
I think that sometimes we pick entirely the wrong people to fall in love on purpose. I used to think I was unworthy of love and used to pick men that would help perpetuate that feeling. It felt safer that way than actually having to pick someone that would love me, because I would have to expose parts of my past to someone like that and that meant me having to face up to that past. Something I didn't want to do at the time.
Good luck with this man. I hope it all works out well.
Or he fancies you as much as you do him and he is tongue tied too?
I think that sometimes we pick entirely the wrong people to fall in love on purpose. I used to think I was unworthy of love and used to pick men that would help perpetuate that feeling. It felt safer that way than actually having to pick someone that would love me, because I would have to expose parts of my past to someone like that and that meant me having to face up to that past. Something I didn't want to do at the time.
Good luck with this man. I hope it all works out well.
Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!
GOLD Member
Introverted
833 posts
Location: Norf London, United Kingdom
Introverted
833 posts
Location: Norf London, United Kingdom
Posted:
You people are all great!
For what it's worth here's my story. Up until about 4 months ago I was in a long term relationship (5.5 years, living together for 3). When it ended (mutually I might add), I was absolutely terrified of being alone, I didn't think I had it in me to even exist without her. But I realized a couple of weeks back that I'm actually better off this way.
Moral of the story: if you go looking you might never find what your looking for. But when the time is right (and boy, do I hope it's my time), it always hits you from left-field, when you're least expecting it. Go and have fun, be yourself, and people will love you for it.
And keep hugging everyone!! We all need a bit of the Poi Poi love!!
EDITED_BY: SamboFlux (1153699733)
You people are all great!
For what it's worth here's my story. Up until about 4 months ago I was in a long term relationship (5.5 years, living together for 3). When it ended (mutually I might add), I was absolutely terrified of being alone, I didn't think I had it in me to even exist without her. But I realized a couple of weeks back that I'm actually better off this way.
Moral of the story: if you go looking you might never find what your looking for. But when the time is right (and boy, do I hope it's my time), it always hits you from left-field, when you're least expecting it. Go and have fun, be yourself, and people will love you for it.
And keep hugging everyone!! We all need a bit of the Poi Poi love!!
EDITED_BY: SamboFlux (1153699733)
My Mind is a Ship
Emotions become the Waves
Soul is the Ocean
If a quizz is quizzical, what is a test?
SILVER Member
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Posted:
that story is very good you have restored my faith samboflux.
i never go looking for love i just hate when i find it, and it doesnt get returned.
that story is very good you have restored my faith samboflux.
i never go looking for love i just hate when i find it, and it doesnt get returned.
enthusiast
255 posts
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
255 posts
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
Posted:
You know, reading all this makes me feel like less of a nuffy when it comes to relationships... Why is it you can never get people to admit this level of insecurity in real life! Its nice to know that we are all in the same boat, whether we admit it or not...
You know, reading all this makes me feel like less of a nuffy when it comes to relationships... Why is it you can never get people to admit this level of insecurity in real life! Its nice to know that we are all in the same boat, whether we admit it or not...
"You've gone from Loey the Wonder Lesbian to everyone wondering if you are a lesbian." - Shadowman
Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.
BRONZE Member
compfuzzled
1,182 posts
Location: hastings, England (UK)
compfuzzled
1,182 posts
Location: hastings, England (UK)
Posted:
when it comes down to it, we are all gibbering messes when we see/meet someone that we're into
what we dont realise alot of the time is that the person we're talking to is
a)feeling the same way
b)probably thinks its cute and endearing as oppose to thinking who is this idiot trying to talk to me
im also in a silly state of singledom where it does seem noone is really interested but what ya gonna do, personally i hate the cheesy oh it comes along when u least expect, well yes it does, but i dont need to be told yet again! lol
its like someone telling you some trick is easy once u get it, hmmm well obviously its easy once u get it, but that period before is the frustrating one
wonderlooey you can get people to admit these things it jus depends, obviously alot of people do find it hard, but then when u get someone open up completely and tell you how much of a emotional retard they are, that never helps either lol
its all mentalness
when it comes down to it, we are all gibbering messes when we see/meet someone that we're into
what we dont realise alot of the time is that the person we're talking to is
a)feeling the same way
b)probably thinks its cute and endearing as oppose to thinking who is this idiot trying to talk to me
im also in a silly state of singledom where it does seem noone is really interested but what ya gonna do, personally i hate the cheesy oh it comes along when u least expect, well yes it does, but i dont need to be told yet again! lol
its like someone telling you some trick is easy once u get it, hmmm well obviously its easy once u get it, but that period before is the frustrating one
wonderlooey you can get people to admit these things it jus depends, obviously alot of people do find it hard, but then when u get someone open up completely and tell you how much of a emotional retard they are, that never helps either lol
its all mentalness
"the geeks have got you" - Gayle
member
116 posts
Location: manchester, uk
116 posts
Location: manchester, uk
Posted:
made a long ansgty post but deleted it.
what raverepresent said 'there is always someone who thinks you are the most special, greatest person' really uplifted me.
give it time and faith everyone, love works out how its meant to even if it doesn't seem the best way at the time
xxx
made a long ansgty post but deleted it.
what raverepresent said 'there is always someone who thinks you are the most special, greatest person' really uplifted me.
give it time and faith everyone, love works out how its meant to even if it doesn't seem the best way at the time
xxx
-spinnin' to the rhythm of the new world order-
SILVER Member
member
80 posts
Location: Derby UK
member
80 posts
Location: Derby UK
Posted:
there's someone out there for all of us, just got to enjoy the search for them! well thats what i always say, esp when i feeling down. My main problem is a lack of confidence, it took me at least a week to decide that i was going to kiss this girl! and the good thing is she kissed me back!
there's someone out there for all of us, just got to enjoy the search for them! well thats what i always say, esp when i feeling down. My main problem is a lack of confidence, it took me at least a week to decide that i was going to kiss this girl! and the good thing is she kissed me back!
I am a sig virus place me in you sig so that i can continue to replicate
Rgds Drofkcah
SILVER Member
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Member
163 posts
Location: glasgow, United Kingdom
Posted:
edit.......
edit.......
SILVER Member
addict
567 posts
Location: USA
addict
567 posts
Location: USA
Posted:
awwwww!!! big bigs to you kupsch! Big, cuddly, snuggly hugs!
awwwww!!! big big
s to you kupsch! Big, cuddly, snuggly hugs! "I don't know what you are talking about"
"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"
"Its not working my lord!"
"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"
BRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom
Posted:
don't worry everyone... my love life was crap, I joined HoP and met the most wonderful girl in the world.
shhhh she's asleep next to me in bed now
love will just pop in one random day and say "hi" and that'll b the story you tell ya kids
don't worry everyone... my love life was crap, I joined HoP and met the most wonderful girl in the world.
shhhh she's asleep next to me in bed now
love will just pop in one random day and say "hi" and that'll b the story you tell ya kids
A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.
newbie
3 posts
3 posts
Posted:
i have been really unlucky
nothing really ever seemed to work until recently i started a relationship with a friend of mine who it turns out also likes me but i had no idea. so this is great yeah?
the only problem being that i just feel it is going nowhere due to a complete lack of confidence and on my part and i really don't see any way to improve this but with luck i will hopefully find a way
i have been really unlucky
nothing really ever seemed to work until recently i started a relationship with a friend of mine who it turns out also likes me but i had no idea. so this is great yeah?
the only problem being that i just feel it is going nowhere due to a complete lack of confidence and on my part and i really don't see any way to improve this but with luck i will hopefully find a way
When you think the world has turned it's back on you take another look, most likely it's you that have turned your back on the world
Member
90 posts
90 posts
Posted:
Everything in time, lord knows Im learning that. My potential left for California at the beginning of June, gets back on the 8th of July, but heads out the next day for Dallas for a week or two. Such is life, we gotta take what it hurls at us.
Everything in time, lord knows Im learning that. My potential left for California at the beginning of June, gets back on the 8th of July, but heads out the next day for Dallas for a week or two. Such is life, we gotta take what it hurls at us.
member
33 posts
Location: Leeming, Perth, Western Australia, Australia, worl...
33 posts
Location: Leeming, Perth, Western Australia, Australia, worl...
Posted:
hey there,
well i no what your going through like most of these ppl. i no how bad it feels especially when your really really good friends but its not going that extra step. 1 thing that is worse is being in a love triangle with your best friend. unfortunatly this has happened to me twice *sucks to be mee* all you have to do is grin and bear i. for the bit about being scared well get out of your comfort sone. i love people who are confident. even if your sh*t scared just try and the more u try the more confident you will get.
hope this helps..
cheer
tambo.
hey there,
well i no what your going through like most of these ppl. i no how bad it feels especially when your really really good friends but its not going that extra step. 1 thing that is worse is being in a love triangle with your best friend. unfortunatly this has happened to me twice *sucks to be mee* all you have to do is grin and bear i. for the bit about being scared well get out of your comfort sone. i love people who are confident. even if your sh*t scared just try and the more u try the more confident you will get.
hope this helps..
cheer
tambo.
"Shine on you crazy diamond"
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