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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Hello everyone...

Oks, well, I've had some bad news and thought I would post on here for advice on alternative therapies.

I've had a look through the existing threads (nice search system Malcolm!!) but didn't find what I was looking for, so I hope this is ok.


So then...

Just over a month ago my mother turned yellow.
It was two days before my parents were due to go on holiday, and instead she ended up in hospital.

They discovered it was a blockage near her bile duct, and after sticking a camera down her throat, found out she had a tumour on her pancreas.

She was eventually sent home for a few weeks to recuperate, then brought back in for an operation last Friday.

We discovered then that the tumour on her pancreas is too big - 6 cms - to operate on, and parts of it have spread to nearby glands.

The prognosis isn't good. They've told her between 6 months and a year, but any reseach I've done shows people with pancreatic cancer lasting between 4 - 6 months.

Our family is coping well, considering, so far.

(Personally, I feel like I'm constantly going to cry.
I try not to think about her leaving us as much as possible. My mother is the strongest person in the world... She is kind and lovely and despite having pissed me off often, has done a splendid job and has had a splendid life (she's travelled all over the place - took a boat to Australia from Ireland 40 years ago to work as a nanny on a cattle ranch!! She came home, by boat, via NZ, Fiji and the Panama Canal - in a time when tourism wasn't Lonely Planet travel-by-numbers).

At the minute, I'm coping. I'm finding myself running about my parent's house 'doing stuff' for them while also trying to keep a performance business afloat. That's been a barrel of laughs in itself... anyone setting up a business in the arts - prepare yourself now for the bitchiness, competition, jealousy and lack of support.

My deepest apologies to m'lovely friends on here if I haven't responded to your PMs or calls recently - thanks BamBam and Fluff x).

Jesus... that was a bitter and twisted rant... humblest apologies for that... redface

Anyways... I have posted this for a reason rolleyes smile

The doctors are still deciding whether mum should have chemo.
None of us are very happy with that idea... don't want her last few months to be spent throwing up.

She's got a very strong Christian faith, which keeps her bouncing through each day (lol, and she keeps emotionally blackmailing me to convert!!! Lol... I've told her it won't happen, but thanks anyway smile )

But I want info on alternative therapies... things that might reduce it, or just prolong her life for a bit. Does anyone here have any advice on where I could look?

I know not to accept intershnet advice as gospel, but it's good to get a guideline - or a point in the right direction.

Electro-magnetic therapy? Acupuncture? Organic foods and no tap water?!!

Does anyone here have any helpful hints?

Thanks so much for your time... and go home tonight and give your parents a hug... they could be gone much sooner than you think.

Love and hugs to you alll
Clare xx


Getting to the other side smile

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:smile

I took a pic of mum and me on my spangly new phone today... might upload it tomorrow.

Jo, thanks for the lovely card darlin... you've been so good and it's very much appreciated.

Talk soon missus

x


Getting to the other side smile

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Basstones
Basstones

Do you do the poiz?
Location: Brisbane
Member Since: 24th Mar 2006
Total posts: 530
Posted:I haven't had the chance to read this whole thread through in its entirety yet, it has suddenly taken a much more personal twist.

On thursday we found out that my mother had inoperable cancer. They are estimating at 9 months. Clare, your posts echo what keeps running through my mind, its comforting to know that you aren't alone and that people can bond together to make us all stronger. Topics like this show the true integrity of the people on this forum that I have yet to see matched anywhere else on the web. I never expected to find solace for a topic like this on hop.

Sending good vibes and best wishes in your whole familys direction


"In the end there is only fire and a waterfall"

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georgemc
georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 2387
Posted:Oh Tony, that sux. Maybe you do now want to take some time to read the thread right through...

Sending you strength and light as I'm sure everyone else here will too hug

And Clare, just another wee spank - listen to your Mum about the visiting. She's not pushing you away, you know she loves you - take some more time for yourself girl. hug


Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin

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newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:Indeed, Clare, if your mum says that she is happy for you to visit less often, it is loving to listen to her. When people are very sick, they do sometimes find that time on their own, being able to 'zone out' meditate to some extent is what they want. As well as company at other times of course! And as they LOVE their children, seeing their children thriving and well is the best comfort they can have.



So from over here we wish you an immensity of thriving and wellness! And your mum, all peace and comfort...



Tony.. PM on its way hug


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:hug hug hug

the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Tony... best wishes for your family... I'm really sorry to hear that frown

And I know my mum said what she did because she thinks that staying away would be better for me, not her.

It's not true though. I need to be there as much as possible.

x


Getting to the other side smile

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LazyAngel
LazyAngel

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Cambridge UK
Member Since: 29th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2895
Posted:hughug

Because ActiveAngel sounds like a feminine deodorant

Like sex, I'm much more interesting in real life than online.

'Be the change you want to see in the world around you' - Ghandi

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Skulduggery
Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales
Member Since: 12th Aug 2004
Total posts: 8428
Posted: Written by: _Clare_



Much as I miss you all very much, I think visits and things like that should wait for a wee while (so there is time to save!!)



I don't want to be doing anything that takes me away from visiting mum at the minute... just do what I have to for work, then be round there.





hug

I wasn't planning on being a distraction to you visiting your mum, you silly ninny kiss. I was kind of hoping I could do all the day to day stuff for you to free you up to have more time to do the things you need to.



I understand totally that you might prefer to not have visitors around right now though. Remember the offer always stands and just call when you need us. hug



Jon and I hold you very close to our hearts and think of you all the time... yes to be honest most of Jon's thoughts about you are a bit naughty ubblol, but we do talk about you a lot and send you lots of positive vibes.



We are always here... remember to shout when you need us.





Basstones, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum too. I hope she is not in pain. Remember you have friends that want to help and support you. Don't be afraid to let them. Ask for help when you need it. That's what friendship is all about hug


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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fNi
fNi

master of disaster
Location: New York
Member Since: 8th Mar 2004
Total posts: 3354
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug

kyrian: I've felt your finger connect with me many times
lou kitten: sneaky little meatball..
ezz: please corrupt me more

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Basstones
Basstones

Do you do the poiz?
Location: Brisbane
Member Since: 24th Mar 2006
Total posts: 530
Posted:Clare, reading through this thread is an eye opening experience in so many ways. You are truly on a journey and the strength you have shown along the way is phenomenal. I am only starting on my path now but my support is with you the whole way.

I have been blown away by how experiences like this can bring people together though. It really is incredible how many people are out there for you when you need it. Prior to my last post I had only told a relatively few friends, every single one of them had done more for me than I ever could have imagined. Yet the people who were complete strangers to me have shown such love,caring, compassion and support that have bounced my spirits so much. The feeling that someone on the other side of the world who you have never met nor spoken to has taken the time to give you support is overwhelming. Its a shame it can take the bad to show the best of people but the things you can see as a result are a great sign for humanity grouphug

Sorry if that went a bit off-topic but this experience has really made me appreciate just how amazing and special everyone really is. hug


"In the end there is only fire and a waterfall"

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BamBam
BamBam

Pooh-Bah
Location: London
Member Since: 1st Dec 2001
Total posts: 1810
Posted:We care and we understand

Many people here have been through or are going though experiences close to yours.
This thread enables people to open up and connect with each other in ways that's sometimes hard with people that are close to you.

Claire has been through a hard journey here, she's shared both good and bad times, but it means that she's not totally bottling everything up inside (which is easily done).

It hard for carers as they are trying to stay strong for the sake of others - often putting their own emotions to one side. This thread is a safe place to let everything spill out, let others care for you for once.

HOP really is a huge family
grouphug grouphug

Love and respect to all

Lisa
xx


A kiss blown is a kiss wasted, the only kind of kiss is a kiss tasted.

I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating and not just a LITTLE bit scary.

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_3C_
_3C_

Daywalker
Location: Dublin!
Member Since: 13th Feb 2007
Total posts: 215
Posted:Hey Clare, I know i haven't posted in a looong time, but my thoughts are always with you!

hug


Speed of Dark: As yet unmeasured, but believed to be faster than light owing to its ability to move so quickly out of light's way. -- Terry Pratchett

[total number of times I've been hit in the head with poi: 10! <--- Double Digits!!!!]

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Thanks everyone...



And thanks for your thoughts... as always, spot on biggrin xx



I put my emotions to one side when I'm with my mum, obviously, because you just do...



But, I don't think I have anyone close enough to me who feels they have to put my emotions before theirs on any type of regular basis.... fortunately for them, I guess.



There's a couple of people on here who have had to listen to me cry, hard, about my mum... thank you Step and Rob hug



I'm glad you had someone like Cole Lisa... smile



It's a strange little hierarchy of grief and support... with each person taking some of the pain and diluting it.

EDITED_BY: _Clare_ (1180636204)


Getting to the other side smile

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Hello again...

I could probably witter on for hours about my fragile emotional state... but it's even boring me at this stage.

To say it's 'not good' isn't really news to anyone.

As for mum and dad... she continues to get slower, and is having good days and bad (yesterday was good, today is shaky). She's still in good spirits, though.

He is still being great.. and is finally taking time to himself by doing the garden. He does seem exhausted, though.

Instead... I thought I'd point out some of the amusing physical things that have happened to me on the journey...

These are all a result of being run down, sad and not really looking after myself as well as possible...

* Hair loss... goddamit, my hair is falling out. It's become really thin and even more fuzzy than usual! My hairdresser says it's due to stress and a bad diet. I'm taking vitamins smile

* Spots in strange places... Probably due to 'stress' and bad diet too. I don't often get spots, but I have some itchy ones on my shoulders and occasional lurkers around my mouth. They're not really spots though... more like kindof red lumps. Urgh.

* Dry lips... I always get this anyways, but it's through not drinking enough water or looking after myself.

* Sore shoulders... I'm guessing through keeping tension in my shoulders. If I was more disciplined, I'd stretch every night, but I'm not, so instead I have sore shoulders.

* Brittle nails... as with dry lips and thining hair.

* Losing weight... I'm still eating something, so not really sure how this is happening.

* Physical symptoms of exhaustion (bags under eyes, general paleness)... because I'm not sleeping properly, or crying myself to sleep which leads to a restless sleep.


Hmmm... when you stand back and look at it with a bit of perspective and distance, it's interesting to think of the effect the mind and heart can have on the body...


x


Getting to the other side smile

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:(and yes... I am oh so hot right now ubblol)

Getting to the other side smile

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georgemc
georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 2387
Posted:Hot? your always "hot" lovely lady devil

Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin

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georgemc
georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 2387
Posted:But seriously Clare, all those symptoms go with extreme stress. Take the time for yourself like everyone keeps telling you. spank
Walk around with a water bottle if nothing else - that's pretty easy (can you drink the tap water in your neck of the woods like we can here?? if so, should be easy to refill it as you walk past the tap).

I could go on but you've heard it all before! smile It's time for you to start touching your nose instead of just trying to do it...

Look after yourself girl.
hug hug heart hug hug


Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Bah... I'm trying, I just get distracted easily...

I don't have any excuse... especially since Durbs bought me an attractive pink Princess water bottle for my birthday ubblol


Non-Https Image Link


Getting to the other side smile

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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:Make sure to get some minerals, too... calcium and magnesium for the nails and iron helps with the hair and the paleness, too smile

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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faith enfire
faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin
Member Since: 27th Jan 2006
Total posts: 3556
Posted:b6 and general b complex helps with joints and deep sleep
don't take too much though cause you could sleep walk like I did


Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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georgemc
georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 2387
Posted:marmite - that's what you need - it's full of B vitamins and other such goodness!!

biggrin



(love the drink bottle - great choice Durbs!)


Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin

Delete

_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Yes indeed... my friends love me biggrin

Not sure what's in the vitamins I'm taking (ahem)... but it's an A-Z vitamin and also vitamins specifically for hair and nails... should do the trick... eventually smile

And marmite tastes like burnt slime. Bleurgh.

G'night x


Getting to the other side smile

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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:A-Z usually has the minerals in it. Otherwise they couldn't be saying Z for zinc biggrin

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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devkev
devkev

discoverer of phat and poigling
Location: North London.. England
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 292
Posted:love and hugs to you ...big hugs
hug hug hug hug


its all about the fun fun fun fun and more fun...

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:good call on the marmite clare! It IS burnt slime!! ubblol

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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georgemc
georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 2387
Posted:eek How could you say that??!!

It's such a versatile and helpful item, it should be called "black gold"! You can use it to zesty up soup's or casseroles, but of course it's at it's best when mixed with approx equal parts marg/butter & spread on toast.
If that's burnt slime, then I better start bottling and selling slime before someone else twigs to it!

Now if you'd said "Vegemite is burnt slime" well THEN I might have understood... ubblol

George


Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin

Delete

_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Urgh either way...

tongue

Jo, hope you're doing ok... thanks Birgit...

Good to see you kev... was thinking about you yesterday smile hug

I'm off on a boat trip with the parents... it's sunny and warm and I intend to get slightly crispy.

(lobster red is better than deathly white, yes?!)

Then I'm off to Lisa's big house/pool party later tonight... that should be awesome smile

Have a good weekend

x


Getting to the other side smile

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georgemc
georgemc

Sitting down facing forward . . .
Location: Christchurch
Member Since: 16th Oct 2006
Total posts: 2387
Posted:Have a great weekend Clare.
Remember look after yourself! *nag nag*

hug


Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
grin

Delete

newgabe
newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 4030
Posted:Indeed! Let earth receive your feet, the green trees fill you with life and the blue sky open your mind to infinite love!
(Oh and have a good weekend...)


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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faith enfire
faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin
Member Since: 27th Jan 2006
Total posts: 3556
Posted:oooh boat trip have fun, and let your mind drift like the boat hug

Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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