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_Clare_BRONZE Member
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)


Posted:
Hello everyone...

Oks, well, I've had some bad news and thought I would post on here for advice on alternative therapies.

I've had a look through the existing threads (nice search system Malcolm!!) but didn't find what I was looking for, so I hope this is ok.


So then...

Just over a month ago my mother turned yellow.
It was two days before my parents were due to go on holiday, and instead she ended up in hospital.

They discovered it was a blockage near her bile duct, and after sticking a camera down her throat, found out she had a tumour on her pancreas.

She was eventually sent home for a few weeks to recuperate, then brought back in for an operation last Friday.

We discovered then that the tumour on her pancreas is too big - 6 cms - to operate on, and parts of it have spread to nearby glands.

The prognosis isn't good. They've told her between 6 months and a year, but any reseach I've done shows people with pancreatic cancer lasting between 4 - 6 months.

Our family is coping well, considering, so far.

(Personally, I feel like I'm constantly going to cry.
I try not to think about her leaving us as much as possible. My mother is the strongest person in the world... She is kind and lovely and despite having pissed me off often, has done a splendid job and has had a splendid life (she's travelled all over the place - took a boat to Australia from Ireland 40 years ago to work as a nanny on a cattle ranch!! She came home, by boat, via NZ, Fiji and the Panama Canal - in a time when tourism wasn't Lonely Planet travel-by-numbers).

At the minute, I'm coping. I'm finding myself running about my parent's house 'doing stuff' for them while also trying to keep a performance business afloat. That's been a barrel of laughs in itself... anyone setting up a business in the arts - prepare yourself now for the bitchiness, competition, jealousy and lack of support.

My deepest apologies to m'lovely friends on here if I haven't responded to your PMs or calls recently - thanks BamBam and Fluff x).

Jesus... that was a bitter and twisted rant... humblest apologies for that... redface

Anyways... I have posted this for a reason rolleyes smile

The doctors are still deciding whether mum should have chemo.
None of us are very happy with that idea... don't want her last few months to be spent throwing up.

She's got a very strong Christian faith, which keeps her bouncing through each day (lol, and she keeps emotionally blackmailing me to convert!!! Lol... I've told her it won't happen, but thanks anyway smile )

But I want info on alternative therapies... things that might reduce it, or just prolong her life for a bit. Does anyone here have any advice on where I could look?

I know not to accept intershnet advice as gospel, but it's good to get a guideline - or a point in the right direction.

Electro-magnetic therapy? Acupuncture? Organic foods and no tap water?!!

Does anyone here have any helpful hints?

Thanks so much for your time... and go home tonight and give your parents a hug... they could be gone much sooner than you think.

Love and hugs to you alll
Clare xx

Getting to the other side smile


SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
frown hug

I hope they can help your mum with the breathlessness.

Lots of love to you all.
hug2

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


SpannerBRONZE Member
remembers when it was all fields round here
2,790 posts
Location: in the works... somewhere..., United Kingdom


Posted:
Clare hug

I know this may be of little consolation but the word that jumped out at me in your last post was "little".
I'm no expert so I can't speculate too far about what will happen to the spots but there is a chance that they may not grow, or that they may even shrink.
Regardless, there's always reasons to be positive so what I will say is that they are the latest addition to the list of what you do know about your mum's health, rather than what you don't.
Now that they've been found, I'm sure your mum's doctors will be keeping a close eye on them.

hug

"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"


Nonkymember
44 posts
Location: Belfast


Posted:
Clare- I don't know how you are coping.

I seen my aunt at the weekend there for the first time since she had been diagnosed with Breast cancer- she is currently going through chemo.

She has lost her hair and stuff now, but yet she remains so upbeat- It's humbling really. That was bad enough to see but in your case- it's your mother, it must be hard-yet anytime I have seen you, you have a smile on your face and take the time to be nice to people: You should be proud of yourself for coping so well.

I truly hope things get better xx

_Clare_BRONZE Member
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)


Posted:
redface

Nah, tis just my way of coping with it - trying to put it out of mind when in company... it's good in one way, but in the other, it's very easy to forget that she is sick at all...

My mum hasn't lost her hair, so you would never know she was ill - apart from the puffy swollenness...


Anyways, thanks lady x

Getting to the other side smile


_Clare_BRONZE Member
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)


Posted:
frown frown frown

Hey there...

So then.

I was in Thailand, visiting Nick and the others, for January... it was splendid to see them and catch up.

I had a great start to 2007 altogether, and I've been telling everyone that 2007 is going to be a brilliant year... filled with positive things.

As soon as I came home I saw Mum... she seemed grand, still happy enough, looking even more swollen, but grand otherwise. Dad is also doing well, and the two of them are beautifully close.

She went for another scan last Tuesday... and the results will be back this Wednesday...

But tonight I went round for dinner... Mum left an hour or so after I arrived to go to church, and when she left she was really breathless.

She was always a bit overweight, but with the added swolleness, and now the extreme breathlessness, it was quite disturbing.

For some reason, part of me feels cross with her for being like that... being sick. I know it's utter fear finding expression as 'outrage' that she could think about leaving me.

But, after she left, Dad and I had a good conversation... my Dad and I are really similar, very dry sense of humour, quite quiet, anything for a peaceful life - kindof thing.

Anyways, he told me that mum is getting worse. Her breathlessness has noticeably worsened in the last two months and he expects the scan to show that whatever was in her lungs last time will have grown.

I didn't cry (in front of him anyways). He just said 'it's not as if we didn't know it was going to happen'.

And it's true. It's been so easy to put it to the back of our minds... to expect her to get better... to hope for a brilliant year.

But tonight has brought it back again sharply... I most likely won't have a mum by September.

ubbcrying

There's nothing to say.

Death is inevitable.
Her death is inevitable.
I just don't want it to happen.

Fortunately, I have a few friends I can rely on.

Thanks, lady fluff and Mr Haus, for being there when I needed you... even if it meant upsetting your plans, or taking time away from other things.

You both should know how much it meant to me to have your support tonight. Thank you.
(I don't think you guys even read HoP anymore... but this thread is kindof like a cathartic, public diary now).

Take care, and love you both
Clare x

Getting to the other side smile


GnorBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia


Posted:
Hey beautiful ladee...

When I see you post in this thread I hold my breath.

Hugs to you and yours hug hug

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu


_Clare_BRONZE Member
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)


Posted:
frown

hug2

Getting to the other side smile


BansheeCatBRONZE Member
veteran
1,247 posts
Location: lost, Canada


Posted:
hug

"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."


fNiGOLD Member
master of disaster
3,354 posts
Location: New York, USA


Posted:
gnor, you put it perfectly.

hug2 hug2 grouphug

kyrian: I've felt your finger connect with me many times
lou kitten: sneaky little meatball..
ezz: please corrupt me more


SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales


Posted:
frown hug

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!


DurbsBRONZE Member
Classically British
5,688 posts
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England


Posted:
hug

Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude


Antti_EverythingGOLD Member
addict
446 posts
Location: Jrvenp, Finland


Posted:
Oh dear Clare. My thoughts are with you and your family.

When my father had lungcancer he had a small oxygen machine at home which made his breathing a lot easier and gave him more energy also. And he also had an oxygen bottle when he had to leave the house. I don't know if the doctors have recommended these to your mother but it might be worth asking about them.

hug

Point your toes.


GlåssDIAMOND Member
The Ministry of Manipulation
2,523 posts
Location: Bristol, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug

animatEdBRONZE Member
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK


Posted:
frown

hug

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.


Helen_of_PoiSILVER Member
lapsed spinner
412 posts
Location: Dublin, Ireland


Posted:
I'm so sorry to hear that hon. I know from experience how awful that news is. If you ever need a chat, you know where to find me hug

Helen_of_Poi

EJC Ireland 2006 Organisational Team


_Clare_BRONZE Member
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)


Posted:
Thanks m'lovely friends...

It's muchly appreciated, thanks for your thoughts...


Antti... Hmmm... what an excellent idea... I'll give them a ring and see what they say... even if it's only for a little while in the day, it might help her lots.

hug2

grouphug

Getting to the other side smile


Neon_ShaolinGOLD Member
hehe, 'Member' huhuh
6,120 posts
Location: Behind you. With Jam


Posted:
Nothing else to say except hug hug hug

"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
i dont have any comforting words, just hugs.
grouphug hug hug hug hug hug grouphug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


StoutBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,872 posts
Location: Canada


Posted:
I may not be the best at crafting sentiment, but I can send some of these. hug hug hug

I went through the same thing three years ago.

_Clare_BRONZE Member
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)


Posted:
Sorry to hear that Stout frown

Thanks everyone...

grouphug

Keep on swimming, keep on swimming, keep on swimming...

Getting to the other side smile


Pink...?BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug2

So sorry to hear that clare. My thoughts are with you.

hug

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...


MandSILVER Member
Keeper of the Spitfire
2,317 posts
Location: Calgary Canada


Posted:
hug

Lets steal a spaceship and head for the sun, and shoot the stars with a lemonade ray gun.


WooktasticBRONZE Member
the kicker of elves
371 posts
Location: Dublin, Ireland


Posted:
Sorry to hear that. I hope things get better, that she gets well soon. The only advice I can give is to keep your hopes at the right level, too low and you may demoralise your mother who will be less able to cope, too high and, well, I think you can guess.
Try and keep your mother happy and strong, the more she thinks she can fight it off the more capable of fighting it off she will be.
Keep strong. hug

Man is no more than a conduit for excrement to pass through.- daVinci

Jointly owned by BurdA and Tinypixie

Wielder of the voice of Patrick Stewart


SkattoGOLD Member
Walking on whims...
687 posts
Location: Eastbourne, UK


Posted:
frown frown



hug hug



grouphug

Skatto

"Fly like a mouse,
Run like a cushion,
Be the small bookcase."

For goodness sake, don't aggravate the otters!!!


Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK


Posted:
You're in my thoughts Clare hug

BirgitBRONZE Member
had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
4,145 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)


Posted:
hug all I can say, really... but maybe I can give you some real ones in Belfast soon! hug



Am well impressed with how your family's coping.

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half


_Clare_BRONZE Member
Still wiggling
5,967 posts
Location: Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK)


Posted:
smile

Hope to see you in B'fast soon too Birgit...
xx

Getting to the other side smile


NateBRONZE Member
Groovy ga watashi no namae desu!
1,530 posts
Location: Oxford, Oxfordshire, England


Posted:
heaps of love to you and your family.

pm on its way

I like Languages.

Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" />


Gayle......!SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,444 posts
Location: Bristol !!!!!!, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug

You know we are all here for you, don't hestitate to call on us. hug2

Gayle.....!


BirdGOLD Member
now available in "advanced"
6,086 posts
Location: Cornwall, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug

I don't think there's anything I can say, that hasn't already been said, but my thoughts are with you all!

hug

My state of mind is not yours to define!

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."


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