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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Hello everyone...

Oks, well, I've had some bad news and thought I would post on here for advice on alternative therapies.

I've had a look through the existing threads (nice search system Malcolm!!) but didn't find what I was looking for, so I hope this is ok.


So then...

Just over a month ago my mother turned yellow.
It was two days before my parents were due to go on holiday, and instead she ended up in hospital.

They discovered it was a blockage near her bile duct, and after sticking a camera down her throat, found out she had a tumour on her pancreas.

She was eventually sent home for a few weeks to recuperate, then brought back in for an operation last Friday.

We discovered then that the tumour on her pancreas is too big - 6 cms - to operate on, and parts of it have spread to nearby glands.

The prognosis isn't good. They've told her between 6 months and a year, but any reseach I've done shows people with pancreatic cancer lasting between 4 - 6 months.

Our family is coping well, considering, so far.

(Personally, I feel like I'm constantly going to cry.
I try not to think about her leaving us as much as possible. My mother is the strongest person in the world... She is kind and lovely and despite having pissed me off often, has done a splendid job and has had a splendid life (she's travelled all over the place - took a boat to Australia from Ireland 40 years ago to work as a nanny on a cattle ranch!! She came home, by boat, via NZ, Fiji and the Panama Canal - in a time when tourism wasn't Lonely Planet travel-by-numbers).

At the minute, I'm coping. I'm finding myself running about my parent's house 'doing stuff' for them while also trying to keep a performance business afloat. That's been a barrel of laughs in itself... anyone setting up a business in the arts - prepare yourself now for the bitchiness, competition, jealousy and lack of support.

My deepest apologies to m'lovely friends on here if I haven't responded to your PMs or calls recently - thanks BamBam and Fluff x).

Jesus... that was a bitter and twisted rant... humblest apologies for that... redface

Anyways... I have posted this for a reason rolleyes smile

The doctors are still deciding whether mum should have chemo.
None of us are very happy with that idea... don't want her last few months to be spent throwing up.

She's got a very strong Christian faith, which keeps her bouncing through each day (lol, and she keeps emotionally blackmailing me to convert!!! Lol... I've told her it won't happen, but thanks anyway smile )

But I want info on alternative therapies... things that might reduce it, or just prolong her life for a bit. Does anyone here have any advice on where I could look?

I know not to accept intershnet advice as gospel, but it's good to get a guideline - or a point in the right direction.

Electro-magnetic therapy? Acupuncture? Organic foods and no tap water?!!

Does anyone here have any helpful hints?

Thanks so much for your time... and go home tonight and give your parents a hug... they could be gone much sooner than you think.

Love and hugs to you alll
Clare xx


Getting to the other side smile

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Oop... Unfortunately, I can't link to the pic... but if you have a look in my gallery, I've just uploaded a pic of her taken last year smile

Getting to the other side smile

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jo_rhymes
jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops
Member Since: 10th Apr 2005
Total posts: 4525
Posted:Clare hug I'm so so so sorry about hearing your mum is so ill, frown Just reading what you've said has made my eyes well up.
My suggestions are lots of organic fruit and vege, lots of happy music, watching comedy films, anything your mum finds funny. It's true that laughter is the best medicine. smile
You could try reiki healing, massage, reflexology. As long as your mum is comfortable.
Please remember to look after yourself too. hug Be strong hun. I think your mum's faith in God can only be a good thing, he works miracles you know smile
Lots of love and light to you xxx


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:hug

all i can say is positive thoughts are so important. I think that it is mentally that people pull through these things.

*many hugs and snuggles*


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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LazyAngel
LazyAngel

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Cambridge UK
Member Since: 29th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2895
Posted:hey lady hug
sorry to hear your mum is unwell. I think Jo has given the best advice possible really: I seem to remember hearing that something like tomatoes had beneficial properties for cancer sufferers.

There's an article here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3703396.stm
br>
Just try to make her as comfortable as possible, and make the most of every last minute (not like you need me to tell you that). Most of all take care of yourself!

hug s and good thoughts to you and your mum


Because ActiveAngel sounds like a feminine deodorant

Like sex, I'm much more interesting in real life than online.

'Be the change you want to see in the world around you' - Ghandi

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Sorry to hear that Furry Purple. No one to have to go through this. It is a sad fact that we are in the middle of a cancer epidemic - a sign that modern life and humanity isn't as mutually beneficial as we like to think.

It is a case of 'hope for the best but prepare for the worst'. In both cases just be there for for you mum like she has done for you in raising a fine daughter. Be there for her if she has to go through chemo and in the worst case be there for her if there really is nothing you can do. That's all you can do really.

In terms of alternative therapies my friend's dad found that drinking green tea managed to lower his *something (I can't remember what)* count that I think he's making a full recovery. I don't want this to give you false hope but it may be worth trying. I've also read that certain nuts have good cancer fighting properties. The benefits of macrobotic diets and organic vegetables have also been brought up.

I fully agree with Jo about 'Laughter being the best medince' and we know that mood can psychosomatically affect the body. That in the same way that a pessimistic mood can damage the body, a more optimistic mood could have the potential to affect the body in a positive manner.

In the end, just be there for you mum. If its terminal, make her life worth living, if there's a chance she can recover, make her life one worth fighting for. hug


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Skulduggery
Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales
Member Since: 12th Aug 2004
Total posts: 8428
Posted:Clare hun hug

I have no advice except to eat as much fresh organic fruit and veg as possible. Raw if possible. The healthier in general your mum keeps the better. The more positive an out look your mum can keep also the better.

My Uncle has almost the same thing, blocked bile duct but his is liver cancer. I can tell you that 2 weeks ago he was given days to live. He pretty much had given up. Cath and I went to see him and basically refused to let him be negative whilst we were there. We kept on telling him all we were planning to do and asking him what he wanted to do next week if they let him home, that kind of stuff. He has been let home and has improved enormously. He has become more positive and now they say he might last until Christmas as long as he doesn't get any other infections etc on top of all the other stuff. He has made a list of things he wants to do... including travelling to see us, Something a couple of weeks ago he was telling us he would never do again.

I believe frame of mind and determination to live are huge factors in how fast cancer progresses.

Wish your mum love and light and tell her from me that she has raised a beautiful, talented daughter that she should be very proud of.

hug

Call me if you ever need to rant. You know my number.
sunny


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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Gayle......!
Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol !!!!!!
Member Since: 9th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2444
Posted:wow. Clare. What a diffuclt time for you and your family. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong. hug

I don't know a lot about alternative medicines and threapies i'm afraid, but it sounds like you're doing the right things. I'm pleased your mum has strong Christian faith which hopefully will help her through as well. Don't forget about yourself in it all as well, i know that at the moment it may feel selfish but you're not going to be able to give your all to your mum if you're not well either.


Gayle.....!

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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:Hey Clare! hug



I can't give much advice on alternative therapies I'm afraid... just what I've heard from my mum's friends.



One of them "starved the cancer out" - the theory behind that being that because cancer cells are growing cells, if the body doesn't get enough food some growth problems are switched off. He beat it back for a few years with that, but who am I to tell if his cancer behaved the same as pancreatic cancer, if it would work for someone else, or if it was coincidence. I'm probably just too sciency frown



Her other friend had terminal breast cancer - it was thought to have been defeated but suddenly came back with a vengeance. A few weeks before she died she went to Lourdes to pray, which helped her a lot to cope with the situation and find peace within herself. Since you say your mum is very Christian, maybe something like that would help her to ease her mind a bit and get some strength for whatever therapy she chooses?



I'm sorry I can't offer more advice hug All the best to you and your family!


"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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maus
maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia
Member Since: 14th Jul 2005
Total posts: 4191
Posted:Hi Clare,



so sorry to hear your very sad news, one of my very good friends is in a similar position to you at the moment, and his mum has been experimenting with various different holistic therapies.



reiki



heat shock protein therapy



light therapy



Revici Therapy



Issels whole body therapy



Wheatgrass therapy



Kelleys Nutritional Metabolic Therapy



Oxygen Therapy



DMSO Therapy



Ayurvedic medicines



Hope thats of some help to you.



Big ubblove and hug to you and your family.



Smile when you can, cry when you need to.



sunny


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Spanner
Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...
Member Since: 27th Feb 2003
Total posts: 2790
Posted: Written by: Skulduggery



She has raised a beautiful, talented daughter that she should be very proud of.





Clare, when I read that you'd written that your mum "has done a splendid job", these were my thoughts exactly.



I'm so sorry to hear she's unwell. Although I unfortunately know next to nothing of alternative therapies, I think that your mum seems as if she's a very determined lady and that trusting her instinct about care and treatment will still be as vital now as it has ever been - to both herself and her medical professionals - whatever decisions it may guide her to.



As for yourself, I hope you know that we'll be here for you whenever you need us. Much love to you all hug


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

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_Aime_
_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings
Member Since: 2nd Jan 2004
Total posts: 4172
Posted:I'll second everybody elses sayings of keeping her happy, relaxed and comfortable.

My dad had cancer a few years back, and went through a year of chemotherapy. He concentrated on thinking positive and keeping himself happy. He didn't loose much of his hair, it just went patchy, and swore this was down to positive thinking! He is now 5 years in remission and if he didn't have that attitude he had when he was suffering from cancer, I don't think he would be here today.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
It must incredibly hard to be 'doing stuff' for your mum and running a bussiness as well. Be sure you don't overload yourself and get ill as well.

Just ensure that her, and yourself are happy, and if it is her time to go, you can be pleased that she has lived what sounds like a very exciting life!

Think well, eat well, be well.

My thoughts are with you
hug hug hug


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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:ubbcrying
smile

Thanks so much everyone (wow Maus, that's great, thanks!) ... and thanks also to Doc L for his PM... hard, but true smile

I know alternative therapies probably won't do any good for my mum's type of cancer... but it would be good to have her remaining time filled with happy, calming things.

Also, we're going to put a book together... a little book of family memories, nursery rhymes etc - also the family history, cos my mother knows it all!!

My memory is appalling, ahem, so it will be good to get it all written down...
(Btw, it might be a good idea to do that with your own parents... even if they're not sick yet)

Yeep... another person at the door... must run... I swear, my mother knows everyone in Bangor, and they're all coming to visit!!!

(Lol, I'm running a strict timetable though... not too many visitors at once! ubblol)


Getting to the other side smile

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jemima (jem)
jemima (jem)

Pooh-Bah
Location: london
Member Since: 2nd Dec 2002
Total posts: 1750
Posted:hugthinking of you

Never assume
Always Acknowledge

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doctor_fandango
doctor_fandango

co-director of A.C.B.I.S.H.A.
Location: in the corner beside the filin...
Member Since: 19th Jul 2004
Total posts: 761
Posted:Clar, sory i havnt been in touch with you much over this difficult period. i dont want to pry into your life too much.. i think the best thing you can do for your mum now is be with her. like you say yourself enjoy the time you have together. however short it may be, let her know how you feel about her. anything youve wanted to say to her/talk with her about. do it now. trust me if you dont you will regret it.

i noticed you said you feel like your going to cry. dont wait to cry, your body is just getting you ready to cry.. 'hey clare, this is what its gonna feel like soon' your body is saying 'but for now you need to be strong for your mum and the rest of your family'

i'm looking forward to seeing you in person clare. it feels so indifferent to leave messages on the board like this. and im sure your ear is worn off with your phone.
any time you need to talk you have my number, you know where i am, its just a phone call away.

*hug* for now
*hug* for the future
*hug* for your mum
*hug* for all your family
*hug* (one more for luck wink)


There's no place like 127.0.0.1, There's no place like 127.0.0.1, There's no place like 127.0.0.1,

"in most of our friends we're the hippies. but we have hippie friends of our own.. its like a dog having its own pet" - H. Sinoquet 19-03-2005

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faith enfire
faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin
Member Since: 27th Jan 2006
Total posts: 3556
Posted:all i can offer is my advice from experience, my family dies of cancer, period. we usually have a few boughts but it gets us in the end...digressing
chemo is not what it used to be. there are different types. there have also been advances in medicine to counteract the affects.
Perhaps, look around on the internet and see which foods are good and which are bad for the pancreas.
I have heard good things about kale and other seaweeds fighting cancer.
This is one of the things you need to remember and it hurts like hell. When the time is getting close, you have to let them know you will be okay and they will too. When the patriarch of our family was sick he held on over and over again. One night my aunts and uncle let him know they loved him and that he did a good job. Any time he was ready to go...
He died within two hours.
Sometimes they hang on for us, but would you want to keep her from the heaven she believes in
Enjoy the time you have, but take care of yourself. Make sure YOU eat and such. Those memory books are wonderful. My grandmother died with hers next to her bed. The best thing you can do is keep a real, not forcedly so, happy environment where she knows she is loved and that she did good in this life.


Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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Fireblitz
Fireblitz

member
Location: Dublin
Member Since: 17th Apr 2005
Total posts: 186
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug2 hug2 hug2 hug2 hug2 I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I'm dealing with cancer too, my boyfriend's 9 year old daughter has lueakemia, she's going through chemo at the moment and it is hard but she has her good days, I don't know much about alternative threatments but acupunture is supposed to be good for pain management. The only advise I can give you is to cry when you need to, don't store it all up, I wish I could give you a real hug.
All my love,
Mairead.


You can only be young once but you can always be immature.

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oli
not with cactus
Location: bristol/ southern eastern devo...
Member Since: 24th Jul 2003
Total posts: 2052
Posted:im sorry to here this news hug, i dont have any useful advice, but will think positivly for you, all the best hug

Me train running low on soul coal
They push+pull tactics are driving me loco
They shouldn't do that no no no

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Helen_of_Poi
Helen_of_Poi

lapsed spinner
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Member Since: 28th Apr 2004
Total posts: 412
Posted:Clare hon, i'm so sorry to hear that. hug

You may be aware that i lost my mum two and a half years ago following a fifteen year battle against cancer.

She was recommended to give up dairy products, switching instead to soya milk etc. This was supposed to lessen the side effects of chemo, radiotherapy and aridia. Also drinking green tea rather than regular tea for its antioxidant effects. Antioxidants in general were suggested - oily fish and nuts and seeds.

She also used to get aromatherapy massages which really helped her relax. I think when facing any serious illness, have the battle is keeping your own stress levels down, and ensuring you get enough sleep. If your mum is anything like mine, she'll be more worried about the rest of you than about herself, so it's important (but difficult) to stay positive, and make sure to have lots of things you enjoy, and good people in your life. If you're as happy as you can be, she will be happier in turn.

I'll give you a call soon for a proper chat. Take care hon,

hug


Helen_of_Poi

EJC Ireland 2006 Organisational Team

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Mr_Chutney
Mr_Chutney

Tosser
Location: Herefordshire
Member Since: 18th Apr 2003
Total posts: 1711
Posted:Clare- I don't have much useful to say other than to say you and your family are in my thoughts, and were I a praying man, my prayers also.

hug


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BansheeCat
veteran
Location: lost
Member Since: 29th Jul 2005
Total posts: 1247
Posted:so sorry, sent a pm since what I had to say was long, but a hug is here for you too-
hug


"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

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Gnor
Gnor

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Perth
Member Since: 31st Mar 2003
Total posts: 5814
Posted:The oral history of your mother is an amazing record to have of her.
Writing it as she talks can be hard but if you can maybe get some family members together and get them talking and have a recording device there it might flow better. Going through photo albums and recalling memories is a good jog as well.
When I say down with Dad to write what he wrote it always got stagnant.
Then you also have a audio contact with your mum if you want a good cry. frown

There is so much out there and everyone swears by what worked for them. Reiki and reflexolgy helped a friend of ours through breast cancer. Whether it was the modalities them selves or the sitting in a calm environment talking with a healing friend its hard to know.

I feel for you babe on this hard road. Cancer is one of those bizarro body gone wrong things thats hard to fathom.

hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug to you and yours.


Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

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BansheeCat
veteran
Location: lost
Member Since: 29th Jul 2005
Total posts: 1247
Posted:
Good advice, Gnor!
Natural conversation is easier, and recording history, lets them say it in their own voice.Good for the heart to hear... We have been resaving my dads voice on the flipping answering machine for ages because we did not think to record anything til too late.Some days the sound of his warm voice is so comforting, still.

I would suggest that if you are looking through albums of pictures together, to take a minute after, and write down the names and details on the backs of the pictures. It is so hard to keep track of those details! But somehow, all the history of a family helps keep your sense of place in the world during trying times; surrounded by the stories , the lessons, and the love .


"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

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Adya Miriyana
Adya Miriyana

*slou?
Location: Adelaide
Member Since: 4th Feb 2005
Total posts: 6554
Posted:take whatever time you need to do what you feel you need to.. don't leave any space for regret.. for both you and your mum. natural conversation recorded sounds like a wonderful memory to have

hugs and best wishes to you and your family


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Durbs
Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England
Member Since: 23rd Sep 2001
Total posts: 5688
Posted:hug (From a distant but feels-closer friend)

Stay strong


Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude

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Stone
Stream Entrant
Location: Melbourne
Member Since: 13th Jun 2001
Total posts: 2830
Posted:My father died of cancer, and it was a real support to him when friends and family were around. I dont have any alternative medical suggestions, except to say that anything that someone feel is positive seems to dramatically increases the chances of recovery.


hug


If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

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_Clare_
_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 22nd Oct 2002
Total posts: 5967
Posted:Thanks so much everyone, hug2

Thanks for the thoughts, advice and PMs.

It's absolutely fantastic to be able to get support and points in the right direction, and I really appreciate you guys taking the time.

I very much like the dictaphone idea, a beautiful friend suggested that yesterday too, and the more I think about it, the more I like it... it will be hard not to listen to the tapes all the time when she's gone though.

So then... I'm going to make a big long letter of all the advice and best wishes here and then show it to my mum.

Tee hee... she'll be so impressed with the friendliness and kindness on this site...

Take care
X


Getting to the other side smile

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Nonky
Nonky

member
Location: Belfast
Member Since: 8th Jun 2006
Total posts: 44
Posted:I'm sorry to hear of your familys troubles.

I have a friend in England who has cancer, and he was using a Kombucha culture to help ease the symptoms at least.

anyways- here is a link with some further informaiton if you get a chance to take a look.

http://www.kombuchatea.co.uk/why-drink-kombucha.asp
br>
I hope you are taking care of yourself as well though. This will be a hard time for you all.

Take Care,

Jen


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pitman
pitman

addict
Location: swansea
Member Since: 9th Mar 2005
Total posts: 544
Posted:i know exactly how you feel my mum died of cancer a few years ago (5) i was 13 when it happened. she had cancer for 6 years and i saw the highs ans lows i have been to hell and back but im still here if you ever need a chat im here just say the word

DONT DO DRUGS THERE BAD FOR YOU.
SO GIVE THEM ALL TO ME AND I WILL GET RID OF THEM FOR YOU!

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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

addict
Location: Cannock, staffordshire
Member Since: 23rd Feb 2005
Total posts: 667
Posted:cancer is just an awful thing

breast cancer has claimed 5 generations of my family but my nan has just gone into remission with hers

feel for you deeply

i have no advice but to just stay strong and enjoy all the time you have with your mum

hugs to you


enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token

o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek

stepped up promotions

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Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:A friend and her cat both have cancer, and both have been diagnosed very very recently (the woman, in fact, in the e.r. after having been ignored in another e.r. with respiratory distress). Suddenly I'm in the middle of a whole malestorm of confusion, learning, stories, problems, solutions, and everything else... its crazy. I can't even imagine if it was someone I was closer too. But its a crazy learning expirience for everyone... there's always things to learn, always, and enjoy things when you can, while you can, in case you can't later hug

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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