Forums > Social Chat > the offside rule explained (for girls)

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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

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Location: Cannock, staffordshire
Member Since: 23rd Feb 2005
Total posts: 667
Posted:THE OFFSIDE RULE EXPLAINED (FOR GIRLS)

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes which you have just
seen and HAVE to have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.
Dilemma: Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till
waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of
the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw (pass) her purse
to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of
the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the
other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

However until the purse had *actually been thrown* you are not allowed
to move in front of the other shopper - (otherwise you would be
'Offside')...

So. how simple is that?

ubbrollsmile ubblol


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Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

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Posted:ok, i already knew the ofside rule, but my question has to be *blinks* why?

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

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Posted:its a joke


has everyone lost there sense of humour today
it was an email sent to me.
and besides mr majestic did u become a mrs majestic overnight it does say (for girls) on there girls will see the funny side


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Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

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Posted:maybe i did, you'll never know will you wink

(hehe, you're going to be angry at my post in your other joke thread then biggrin)

why not just post these in an already existing joke thread instead of making two new ones?


"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

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Loki_the_trickster
Loki_the_trickster

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Location: Stuck in the mire
Member Since: 1st Feb 2006
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Posted:ubblol I'm a guy and it made me giggle biggrin

My ADD makes it so that.....Ooooo SHINY.....wanna go ride bikes....wait....where am I.....

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Probably not a good idea to point out the inherent sexism of the joke that it's demeaning to girls when implying that all girls think about is shopping and shoes?



biggrin



*runs and hides*



Oooh a toffee apple...!



(Just so you know I have no idea what the offside rule is and the joke didn't make it any clearer!)


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

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Location: Cannock, staffordshire
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Posted:*deleted*



sorry bit tired and got wound up

EDITED_BY: dani_babyboo (1148648771)


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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

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Posted:thankyou loki and neon dont worry girls can take jokes ya know lol

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

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Location: Behind you. With Jam
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Posted: Written by: Mr Majestik


ok, i already knew the ofside rule, but my question has to be *blinks* why?



I think he was asking why such a stupid rule was put in the game in the first place...


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

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Location: Cannock, staffordshire
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Posted:yer i made a joke back at him with did he become a mrs majestic

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bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
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Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

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Posted:biggrin whatever, i just thought the reason for 'joke' threads was to organise jokes into one or tow places and not have billions of threads with one joke each.

fell free to do as you please hug


"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

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Posted:well after working 60 hours a week and no day off i have no time to search for actual joke threads i jus thought ppl would have a giggle at a couple of jokes i had by email

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bewitched, beaten, broken.
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Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

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Posted: Written by: dani_babyboo


after working 60 hours a week a



eek sucks to be you. hope you have a weekend worthy of a queen wink


"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

addict
Location: Cannock, staffordshire
Member Since: 23rd Feb 2005
Total posts: 667
Posted:i work the weekends also

run a subway shop on evening shift

so thius lovelly bank holiday weekend is gona be spent till 1am serving customers


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intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token

o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek

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hexagonic
hexagonic

Clubbles Jugs
Location: Manchester
Member Since: 18th Feb 2004
Total posts: 1687
Posted:Well, i thought it was funny, but why would you be in a queue without a purse?

I'll have to tell my bird about this one! ubblol


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Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

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Posted:tought break. hope you get more pay on a holiday! biggrin dont hate HoP its really friendly, as long as you dont go near the discussion board wink tongue

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:I know the offside rule and don't like shoes and usually have my purse.

But it was funny ubblol

Might forward it to my friend Phil, so that he understands what Corinna and I are on about when the footie's on wink


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Loki_the_trickster
Loki_the_trickster

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Posted: Written by: Mr Majestik


dont hate HoP its really friendly, as long as you dont go near the discussion board wink tongue



ubblol ubblol ubblol rolleyes ubblol ubblol ubblol


My ADD makes it so that.....Ooooo SHINY.....wanna go ride bikes....wait....where am I.....

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dani_babyboo
dani_babyboo

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Location: Cannock, staffordshire
Member Since: 23rd Feb 2005
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Posted:lol i knew the rule before im a huge fan but when ever a guy trys to explain it he does it in football terms a lot of women who arent really into football dont understand but in that way fr a woman who knows exactly what its like to want the last pair of shoes its a good explanation

and very very funny also


enticed, entrapped, entombed.
intoxicated, impaled, ingested.
bewitched, beaten, broken.
enter the love realm...
insert ur token

o jej, ale bym ci wylizal ten pepek

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GeoffonTour04
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Location: Oxford
Member Since: 30th Nov 2005
Total posts: 360
Posted: Written by: Neon_Shaolin


 Written by: Mr Majestik


ok, i already knew the ofside rule, but my question has to be *blinks* why?



I think he was asking why such a stupid rule was put in the game in the first place...




It's really quite simple, and it stops people goal hanging (waiting too close to the goal for an easy shot), basically if you're closer to the other end of the pitch than their last defender & the ball is passed to you, you're offside. That's it


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Patriarch917
Patriarch917

I make my own people.
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Member Since: 2nd Oct 2005
Total posts: 607
Posted:I still don't understand. What sport is this? What's a "queue" and a "till." This is all so confusing to me. confused

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:It's a rule for when playing Soccer...

Don't worry, I'm British and I still don't fully understand it (I'm getting there though)


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JonnyRok
JonnyRok

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Location: Sunny South Africa
Member Since: 2nd May 2005
Total posts: 446
Posted:Rreminds me of "Bend it like Beckam" where the guy tries to explain the offside rule to his wife using the mustard and mayonnaise bottles smile

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You are a pirate!
Yo ho fiddle dee dee, being a pirate is alright to be,
Do what you want coz a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!

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PyroWill
PyroWill

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Location: Staines
Member Since: 4th Aug 2004
Total posts: 4437
Posted:I found it funny:) andnow I actualyl understand the offside rule smile

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FoxInDocs
FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 1848
Posted:
and i'm even more confused, what are you talking about?


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Hanz
Hanz

veteran
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia
Member Since: 7th Jun 2004
Total posts: 1328
Posted:I have no idea... even after that explanation!! maybe that's because I don't actually know the rules of soccer...

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