Forums > Social Chat > Please help... i need advice so bad right now...

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:alright.... heres my problem... im in love with this girl... who ive known for 2 years. since the moment i saw her, i could swear everything blacked out, except for her... and christ, when i saw her smile, a smirk had to appear on my face. She is the most wonderful person ive known. I am walking her home on the last day of school, which is on friday, 3 days from today. I call her my everything, my (her name), and my goddess. She is really flattered by such names, i just dont know what i should do. She wants me to sing for her, I Miss you - Incubus. and i wrote her a poem. She has also been telling me she has a suprise which she has to give with no one around... I really care for her, shes been my friend for 2 years people... 2 years... and if the fact that i love her disrupts our friendship, ill be taking the biggest risk of my life, she is my everything, without her, i am simply nothing. She calls me her everything and her superman. She just means so much to me, i dont know if i can risk it all... and if i can only be her best friend (bestestest buddyyyyy in her words) i guess... well i guess its okay... she knows me inside out, she knows every flaw in me. When i walk her, what do i do? Do i try and hold her hand, do i give her a kiss for goodbye? Note: this would be my first kiss, so honestly i wouldnt know how to do it, but you have to start out somewhere biggrin. Please, though... i need your help... i dont know what to do, im completely blank of ideas... please help me..

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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hexagonic
hexagonic

Clubbles Jugs
Location: Manchester
Member Since: 18th Feb 2004
Total posts: 1687
Posted:Okay, first up I think what you've written ubblove is quite cute. OMG am I turning into a woman too??!!

Sounds like a "now or never" moment. Well, it probably seems like that to you, but i doubt it would be. If the now option appears, take it. If it doesn't wait, your time will come.

Reminds me of a girl I used to know, (down memory lane, 11 years ago!), I remember when I first saw her and yeah, that memory sticks. And feeling (at the time) all the things you have said in your above post.

So I suppose you should play it cool on Friday, ask her what she has to give you "alone", and take it from there. Try and take the scenic route home if you can, generally helps. Just be yourself.

As for the kiss, go on what she does too. Remember if it comes to the kiss, that she'll be nervous too. And take it slow.

Good luck and tell us how it goes!!


ah wah wah wah a wah wah

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Pen Draven
Pen Draven

Unofficial Lord Of Confusion And Pirate Extrodinaire
Location: Nuneaton
Member Since: 1st Sep 2005
Total posts: 1363
Posted:I kinda agree with Hex on this one,, but i totally know how you feel aswell.

When and if the time is right you'll both know,, til then enjoy the great friendship that it sounds like your both enjoying smile but definitely take the scenic route home,, worst case scenario,, you'll both have a lovely walk smile

hug and hope things work out well


Some men see things and say why....

I Dream of things that never were and say Why Not....?

Oh No I'm going to get Shot Alive if he finds out - DA wink

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Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:just dont hold yourself back, if the moment is good go for it. i know i was like you once, only i let the moment slip, and i've never forgiven myself.

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

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Loki_the_trickster
Loki_the_trickster

Has sharp edges
Location: Stuck in the mire
Member Since: 1st Feb 2006
Total posts: 1266
Posted:I think mjk is right dont live with regrets.....take it slow but go for it. I've been in a similar situation and was with her for seven years after I finally got the courage to get past that first kiss. Now I'm again in a similar situation with a girl I've been friends with for a good six years and we've gone way beyond first kisses and things are going pretty good. It sounds like by your post that she likes you too so go for it and dont have any regrets in life.
Besides dateing your "bestestest buddyyyyy" is great. Your lover should be your best friend in my opinion.


My ADD makes it so that.....Ooooo SHINY.....wanna go ride bikes....wait....where am I.....

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:alright.. heres the update on our day today... went pretty swell biggrin well i walked her to class, we talked. As we walked, she stopped, aswell as me (something told me to stop inside, i couldnt understand) at the same time we stop, note we are right next to eachother, then we face eachother and she smiles. Our bodies are about 5 inches away from eachother... It felt so right... inside i was screaming "YES!"... and she went to her class, we played this game as we usually do. the object is to touch the wall at the end of the hallway first, it isnt sprinting, its fast walking, half of the time we do it we stare at eachother as we walk... God, shes amazing... every morning i wake up thinking of her smile, shes the only reason why i get up in the morning.. You guys, thanks for the comments/advice.. i really need it considering this will be my first time walking a girl.. and as for the kiss, i was told to tilt your head to the right... hah, im sounding pretty scary, my apologies continue on. Thanks guys... Ill be updating what happens each day, and what we do. ubblove

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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faith enfire
faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin
Member Since: 27th Jan 2006
Total posts: 3556
Posted:There is a point at the end of this I promise
First kiss
I had known him earlier my life and had run across each other in high school. We started hanging out. We went eight month just getting coffee and talking. He picked me up to go down to the lake right after I got off the phone with my second best friend whining about how I wish he would kiss me. She asked why not kiss him. Too scared
So we are down by the lake and there is a lull in the conversation. We both sit there, watching the sunset. I see him start to shift his weight in my direction and then, I feel myself shift automatically to pick up a shell on the OPPOSITE side effectively dodging his kiss. In my head I was shouting at myself KISS HIM but my body had its own idea
A couple of days later he tried again and this time it worked. We dated nearly three years, gone through heartbreak, and a bad breakup. After it was all said and done, we are still good friends
Moral:
Twofold
1) a dodge is not a diss. Timing may be off
2) if you had a solid friendship, a romantic relationship does not change that. It is more of an added bonus. If it doesnt work out, given time, a good friendship will survive, not end


Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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Dangerousmind66
Member

Member Since: 30th May 2004
Total posts: 90
Posted:Man, Im goin through the same thing right now, its tough. No regrets.

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:im just afraid. I want to kiss her, but if i do, will that create any weirdness?

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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Gnarly Cranium
Gnarly Cranium

member
Location: San Francisco
Member Since: 16th Feb 2005
Total posts: 186
Posted:First off-- deep breaths, relax. Go a step at a time. Learn her reactions. There's all sorts of hugging and sitting close together sorta snuggly and so forth that you can do to work up to it. Get comfortable-- that sort of intimacy can convey a lot, so that more won't seem so awkward or weird. Try a kiss somewhere kinda safe to start out with, like on the cheek, forehead, or hand. Go with impulses that feel natural, instead of freaking yourself out by thinking about it too much-- like, don't try to pick a particular day or moment ahead of time. If there's poetry and songs going around I'd say you pretty much have a green light, just stay steady.

"Ours is not to question The Head; it is enough to revel in the ubiquitous inanity of The Head, the unwanted proximity of The Head, the unrelenting HellPresence of The Head, indeed the very UNYIELDING IRRELEVANCE of The Head!" --Revelation X

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Sixth
Sixth

Devil May Cry
Location: Manchester / London
Member Since: 31st Oct 2005
Total posts: 327
Posted:Yes, agreed with the go slow approach...other than that I won't tell you how to do it because when it comes to these situations, if you think too much about it, you'll end up hurting yourself and possibly her.

Every single guy/girl in here will give you practicly old information thats been read and passed down. The best thing to do is be yourself because when it comes to love, if you pretend to be someone in order for your otherhalf to praise and love, it'l be like having two split personalities...(bad for the soul)

This is'nt what you want to hear but if it doesn't work out, being friends is so much better than loosing out, then again we all learn from our mistakes so taking a chance isn't a loss but simply a lesson we all must learn. Taking a quotation from a japanese retainer,

"If one is dedicated towards an idea, no other man will be able tocut him down, not even an army"

good luck and I hope it all goes well.


I give hope to others but I keep none for myself.

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

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Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:Sixth... wow... you really taught me something.... that makes so much sense bro, thanks. If any of you guys need anything from me, PM me if you need anything.] i owe it to all of you guys... thank you again...
EDITED_BY: RaveRepresent (1148501117)


"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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VampyricAcid
VampyricAcid

veteran
Location: My House
Member Since: 27th Jun 2005
Total posts: 1286
Posted:I know its been said before, but dude, you're first post was just so sweet i had to post. Sixth is right, dont plan it, just let it happen if its gonna happen.
one last quote for you
"prepare for the worst, but hope for the best"
i know its easier said than done, but nothing is certain until it happens, like Sixth said, friends is still friends.


One last thing...for the love of all things sacred let us know how it goes!!!!!


Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?

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steaks
steaks

former manc tour guide
Location: Manchester
Member Since: 21st Dec 2005
Total posts: 1909
Posted:Nnothing much I can add to this that hasn't been covered already, you just have to take your time (patients is your ally), be yourself and let nature take it's course and you can't go far wrong. And if nothing more than friendship comes out of it, it won't be the end of the world, you will still have a great friend you can confide and rely on.

All the best


Owned by the lovely SNOOPoi
Owner of Clarence_Quack

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Pogo69
Pogo69

there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
Location: limbo
Member Since: 6th Apr 2006
Total posts: 3764
Posted:well... along with many of the other replies... wow...!!!

I *was* in the same position as you about 10 years ago with my now ex-wife (still the best of friends, no regrets)... and if it was left up to me, we'd probably still be "toying with the idea of making a move" rather than actually doing it. Luckily, Annie was (and is) more forward than me, so she made the 1st move... rolleyes

But despite my shyness, I knew the "chemistry" was there and when the "moment" came, I also knew that was there... you will too...

Wise words from all... be yourself, because so far that's got you and your goddess a best friend... and they can't be beat. ubblove ubblove


--pogo (pat) [forever and always]

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:biggrin thanks.. goddamn im worried though.. but if it goes wrong... i wouldnt have much to live for...

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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artindoril
member

Member Since: 1st Dec 2005
Total posts: 117
Posted:ok RaveRepresent. This may sound strange, but to be honest I can't really give you advice on your situation completely cos I know neither of you.

All I can say is invite her out for a night out, just the two of you. I know it may seem scary, trust me I've been there lately, but what have you got to lose. If she says no then you're as you are now, but you know how things stand. If she says yes then it's somewhere to start and see how things go from there.

If she does say yes, then just make sure that you never lie to her. Ok you may not want to tell her the complete truth at times so that you don't scare her. But make sure that you don't hide things in the long run, and that you make sure that she knows that you may not say things at the time in order to not scare her, and that it's clear that you're not and never will lie to her.

The main thing is never presurise her into a situation. Just be there for her and do what feels right by the both of you. If it's meant to be then it'll work out in the long run. All you can do is make sure that she knows how you feel and not rush things.

I can't promise that this'll work for you, but it might help. The main thing is to be yourself, and if she doesn't like you for who you are then you should really accept that.

I know that it'll hurt and that at the moment you wouldn't have much to live for if things didn't happen, but it'll get better with time. Remember that those who you care about may hurt you, but your true friends will stand with you through the bad times and the good.

Basically, take a risk. As until you do then you can't tell how life may turn out.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and remember (as others have said) above all else be yourself.


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BansheeCat
veteran
Location: lost
Member Since: 29th Jul 2005
Total posts: 1247
Posted:You are so cute, what a romantic post!!! I really wish you luck!


Only advice I have is to be yourself, communicate honestly, be respectful, and dont worry about wrecking friendship if things dont work out romantically between you. Quite a few of my best friends and I had romantic stuff that reared its head at different times in the relationship-- but if the friendship is solid, it will sort itself out.Whether lovers or friends or both in the end, it will be just fine if you are true friends to begin with!

Enjoy!


"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:hah, really wanna answer these two posts, ill answer with seperate paragraphs wink

Artindoril, i have been there for every second of her existance since i layed my eyes upon her breathe-taking smile. She has even told me im the only one here for her. As for the lying, id never do that either way. She means too much to lie for, even if i lie about my personality, she wouldnt be liking actually me, eh? Hah, i really thank you for using your time for a response, i really do. What suprises me, my taste in music has turned dramatically. At first i listened to slipknot, but since i saw her i was like. "what the hell?" and when i heard nicer, more romantic such songs, i could relate to it, and id turn it on constantly, something inside would refrain me from turning on its rhythem and lyrics. music such as, Incubus and Oasis catch my ears. If not it has to be some good techno or trance biggrin. thanks again

lmao, andrealee, thanks for that compliment redface hah, boosted my confidence. (not using sarcasm) and omfg.... as i was frickin typing this, she ASKED ME if i wanted TO GO IN HER HOUSE to have her do my hair. omg... dude... omg... ubblove ubblove ahhhhh... hah and btw, kinda young for sexual activity for people that are thinking so. omg... hah... omg... im so happy...


"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:oh... my frickin god... sorry to message again... but i said "sure, ill stay over as long as you want me to wink" "you mind staying over a few weeks then?" ***she was joking btw*** omagad... soooooo happyyyy...
EDITED_BY: RaveRepresent (1148436917)


"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

Delete

Mr Majestik
Mr Majestik

coming to a country near you
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear
Member Since: 9th Mar 2004
Total posts: 4693
Posted:you think she was joking? there's often an element of truth in jokes like that.

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

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FoxInDocs
FoxInDocs

Pooh-Bah
Location: Adelaide, SA
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 1848
Posted:
goodness me... majestik and i actually agree on something for a change. There is indeed, and element of truth in jokes like that.

Your first post was just about the sweetest thing i've ever read. And it sounds like she's just as much in love with you. From what you've said, you're quite young (13? 14?) chill out, don't stress, this looks to me like what my friend calls a "sappy forever thing".

The moment will come, and most likely when you least expect it, and i'll be surprised if it doesn't last til you're a hundred and ten.


"i am exotic, and must keep my arms down" - Rougie

"i don't understand what penises have to do with getting married" - Foxie

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

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Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:whoah.... foxindocs... yeah, im 13 shes 12. Yeah, i know, im pretty young. You can refrain yourself about these feelings eh? biggrin god bless america... she is perfect... ill give you an update on today, tell you how the day went

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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MiG
MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG
Member Since: 16th Apr 2004
Total posts: 3415
Posted:No offence, mate, but i'm going to stay right away from this one.
Bit too much of a pessimist sometimes, me.

Best of luck, though biggrin


"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie

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Fine_Rabid_Dog
Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 10530
Posted:Paragraphing, contary to popular belief, is a good thing. smile

The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Nephtys
Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Member Since: 3rd Oct 2002
Total posts: 835
Posted:(Ahem... I'm not supposed be here, I recently announced my temporary withdrawal from the boards until I graduate smile please don't throw pillows at me, I'm here for a good cause!)

Rave, I've got 3 things to say:

1) I have to join the "awwwwww, that's so sweet!" crowd smile

2) My lurrrvely boyfriend Mot (also on HoP) and I were good friends for quite a while until we got together: we started it off with flirty text messages, so we could kind of let each other know we were interested in one another without risking ruining the friendship, the messages could easily have been laughed off as a joke if one of us didn't mean it. Then one night, we risked a kiss, and here we are three years later living together smile Friendship is a really good base for a relationship, and it sounds like she's into you too! I say, you go boy!! And no-one can tell you how to kiss, it's one of those things you have to learn by doing - hopefully you'll be getting loads of practise soon! biggrin

3) On a different note, you might want to go back and edit your post with you e-mail address in it: at the very least you'll attract spam by posting your e-mail address on a forum, and at worst you'll attract creepy people... if you want someone to have your address you're better off sending it to them in a pm.

Best of luck matey, keep us posted on how it goes!

hug


everyone's unique except me

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:editing it right now biggrin.. lol And no pillow throwing neccesary wink
EDITED_BY: RaveRepresent (1148501884)


"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

Delete

RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

addict

Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:Alright.... my day... it started off normal, i had final exams and such, then i got my chance to talk to her. The touching barrier isnt broken, but its damaged biggrin. she would hold her hands on my shoulder and laugh if i joke around. Nothing really out of the norm happened. actually, we had to do a little interview from a sheet of paper, indicating how we run our life, and what we are happy to have. She put shes happy she has the bestest buddy she could ever ask for, jon. Hah, so you can probably guess i was pretty happy today smile. Im very nervous going inside her house, very nervous. I know for a fact she doesnt like very fake happy people, for example.. "ooooooh my god! yeah my day is going great! and how are you Ms?" doesnt really blow the right note through the flute for her.. When it comes down to her parents, ive talked to her mom, not her father. It will be hard getting accepted i know that, but i will try...

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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steaks
steaks

former manc tour guide
Location: Manchester
Member Since: 21st Dec 2005
Total posts: 1909
Posted:Sounds like things are going well.

On meeting the parents front, pretty much the same applies to advancing with her, relax, stay calm, be yourself and above all be polite, her parents will see through you if you don't be yourself and will think better of you if you are polite. Don't be affraid to speak either, they are unlikely to bite.
Hope all goes well dude.


Owned by the lovely SNOOPoi
Owner of Clarence_Quack

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RaveRepresent
RaveRepresent

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Member Since: 7th May 2006
Total posts: 567
Posted:thanks steaks, very much. I hope this benefits for the better..

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Cardinal!!! Poke her... with the SOFT CUSIONS!!!!"

"Its not working my lord!"

"Have you got all of the stuffing on one end?!"

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Pigeon_Wigeon
Pigeon_Wigeon

Say what?
Location: Surrey/Portsmouth
Member Since: 24th Dec 2004
Total posts: 4760
Posted:Yeah I agree with Steaks smile Don't try and be something your not for their sake cause they will see straight through it. Be yourself but make sure you interact with them. Don't see every question they ask as a test it's just them trying to make you feel more comfortable and to learn a little about you. Above all try and enjoy it! Don't be nervous just be yourself! If she loves you I'm sure her parents will too!
Good luck!


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