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Posted: Not sure if its ok to post this here, but it is my first attempt at journalism. So I want to publish it far and wide. I will follow this up with more indepth stories regarding the issues going on here. Please check out my home page to follow these stories.
Any criticism, comments or discussion welcome.
15 tribal villagers brutally killed by Maoists in Central India by Matthew Morris
Dornapal refugee camp in Chhattisgarh State, 24th May 2006: When the 52 inmates from the camp decided to return to their village Manikonte deep in the forest, to pick up food and personal belongs, they were ambushed by an armed group of Maoists. In the ambush two of the villagers were killed, the rest were kidnapped.
Within the hour the police where informed of the incident and proceeded to the village, but it wasn’t until 3 days later that they followed the tracks any further into the forest.
"Are eyes and hands were bound and we were where led into the forest," said Sodi Bhima. "We were only given a little rice and fried frog to eat. To drink we were given urine. They asked us if we supported Salwa Judum {a State supported peoples movement} or them. To save our lives we said we supported the Maoists. But they tied our hands and feet together and beat us with sticks."
On the 28th 13 bodies the villagers were found near the camp by the roadside, the same day the rest of the villagers were released. "They were killed intentionally brutally, with blows from sharp weapons," said the district Chief Medical Officer, Dr G N Thakur, "Their eyes were pierced before killing them; they tried to hurt them."
Podiyam Hirme: With her husband and brothers gone she has no means of support
Podiyam Hirme was one of those kidnapped cried "I have lost my husband and my two brothers. Now I am alone in the world".
Now back at the camp the inmates fear for their safety, with the government providing very little security for the 10,000 people living there. Only four unarmed Special Police Officers, recruited from the camp inmates, are their protection.
The local elected leader and Salwa Judum activist, Ram Bhavan Kushwaha, has received death threats from the Maoists. Initially the government provided four armed guards, but now he has to make do with a rifle that never leaves his side. "If the Maoists come to kill me I will take one or two of them with me."
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dreamSILVER Member currently mending 493 posts Location: Bristol, New Zealand
Posted: If you want to publish articles you really ought to proof read them first
Written by:
"Are eyes and hands were bound
Are eyes? Our Eyes methinks.
Written by:
On the 28th 13 bodies the villagers were found near the camp by the roadside, the same day the rest of the villagers were released.
this sentence doesn't make grammatical sense.
This kind of simple linguistic error destroys any intellectual credibility the piece may otherwise contain.
As a story I found it immensely frustrating... It gives absolutely no background information to the conflict - and so will leave readers without a specialist knowledge of the unspecified region of India you refer to wondering what the hell you're talking about.
If you intended the article for the local newspaper this isn't a problem but as you profess to 'want to publish it far and wide' this becomes a second major problem.
I'm left feeling that the story is worth telling - and it certainly isn't something that will attract mainstream media attention... However you need to work on your writing so as to effectively communicate your thoughts to an audience.
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Nietzsche
BansheeCatBRONZE Member veteran 1,247 posts Location: lost, Canada
Posted: I agree, context would bring this story out. For example, I had no idea there were Maoists in Cenral India. Or what they would be attempting to acheive by kidnapping and terrorizing people...
Like many stories perhaps it is not best dealt with in the short kind of newsbite format that most media offers us...
I think you have something to work with, the basics are all there to be developed! Way to go!
"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."
Posted: Thanks for the comments. When I got back yesterday my brain was a bit fried from the travelling and heat and stress. I knew I couldn't trust my judgment regarding the spelling and grammer; never my strong point as I have a mild form of dyslexia. I don't have anybody else to proof read it here so I put it here for some friendly advice - so thanks.
I also know that the context is missing, but this story is timely and there is no time to write the background before it goes out of date. I will be writing the background to the story in the next couple of weeks. So if you are interested, watch this space.
BansheeCatBRONZE Member veteran 1,247 posts Location: lost, Canada
Posted: Matt, that is fascinating, thanks! Sounds like quite an intense experience for you . I hope you have some support and people to talk about it with as you do your work, sometimes being part of tragedy/injustice/releif work and trying to help can have a very deep impact, that sometimes we are not even aware of. Hope you remember to care for yourself too.
I am very curious about the region now,and am looking forward to learning more. Keep us posted!
**also wanted to point out, on your link, the previous journal entry--the article-- the way the title reads right now makes it sound like you killed them all! Might want to change that, eh?
"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."
sunbeamSILVER Member old hand 1,032 posts Location: Madrid, United Kingdom