Forums > Social Chat > Your life might suck if....
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HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
So this is a knock off my "You might be a firespinner if..." thread. Except this one is open to rants.
Your life might suck if...
1) You just spent two hours of concerted study time on the topic of diarrhea.
2) The next two hours will be devoted to studying nausea and vomiting.
I'm a friggin' diarrhea expert now. How sad is that? *breaks down sobbing*
So this is a knock off my "You might be a firespinner if..." thread. Except this one is open to rants.
Your life might suck if...
1) You just spent two hours of concerted study time on the topic of diarrhea.
2) The next two hours will be devoted to studying nausea and vomiting.
I'm a friggin' diarrhea expert now. How sad is that? *breaks down sobbing*
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
Dreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
Posted:
just remember, when all this is over you'll be a doctor! and.... i'd like you to be a doctor that knows something. unlike the average ones. so.... it's good that ur a dia-whatever expert
just remember, when all this is over you'll be a doctor! and.... i'd like you to be a doctor that knows something. unlike the average ones. so.... it's good that ur a dia-whatever expert
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
member
234 posts
Location: Oceanside, California USA
234 posts
Location: Oceanside, California USA
Posted:
Did you learn anything interesting about diarrhea? At least by reading your thread I learned how to write it properly. What a beautiful topic!! good luck to ya!
Did you learn anything interesting about diarrhea? At least by reading your thread I learned how to write it properly. What a beautiful topic!! good luck to ya!
member
212 posts
Location: tampa fl usa
212 posts
Location: tampa fl usa
Posted:
Mike it is a shitty job but someone has to do it ::::::::laughs::::::::::::
Mike it is a shitty job but someone has to do it ::::::::laughs::::::::::::
I have been cursed with the imagination to envision it all
Enter a "Title" here:
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
Posted:
Imagine your a siamese twin, your brother is gay, your not, he has a date tonight, and you only have one ass!
If that isnt you, then your life is just dandy!
Imagine your a siamese twin, your brother is gay, your not, he has a date tonight, and you only have one ass!
If that isnt you, then your life is just dandy!
Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London
2,737 posts
Location: London
Posted:
poi, jam and sex with girls were made illegal....
Even worse, they were made illegal individually....
poi, jam and sex with girls were made illegal....
Even worse, they were made illegal individually....
Small Lardy Person In Disguise
Enter a "Title" here:
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
2,905 posts
Location: San Diego California
Posted:
The above joke was in no way intended to offend, just an example of a really bad day. It was supposed to be humorus and I do apologyse to those whom I have offended.
The above joke was in no way intended to offend, just an example of a really bad day. It was supposed to be humorus and I do apologyse to those whom I have offended.
Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
No worries, Ray.
Dulce, you asked for it:
Few of us have truly experienced diarrhea which is defined as a stool volume greater than 1 liter per day. The "Hershey Squirts" that most of us get from time to time are defined as "loose stools."
There are five types of diarrhea. Secretory, which is exemplified by cholera, osmotic, which is caused by certain artificial sweeteners (sorbitol) and laxatives (especially those containing magnesium), inflammatory, which can be caused by certain infectious diseases or ulcerative colitis (this type of diarrhea is bloody...bloody diarrhea is never a happy sign), diarrhea due to increased gut motility, which can be caused by hyperthyroidism, stress, or problems with vagal tone (often found in diabetes), and diarrhea due to decreased gut surface area, which can be caused by destruction of the gut mucosa in certain diseases like certain viruses, by celiac sprue due to gluten sensitivity, or by surgical procedures.
Shall I stop or would you like a more detailed description? I'm an expert on it, you know.
(No, I'm not really an expert, but I do know much more about diarrhea than most people do...and more than I really ever cared to know...and I find this fact both amusing and deeply disturbing).
No worries, Ray.
Dulce, you asked for it:
Few of us have truly experienced diarrhea which is defined as a stool volume greater than 1 liter per day. The "Hershey Squirts" that most of us get from time to time are defined as "loose stools."
There are five types of diarrhea. Secretory, which is exemplified by cholera, osmotic, which is caused by certain artificial sweeteners (sorbitol) and laxatives (especially those containing magnesium), inflammatory, which can be caused by certain infectious diseases or ulcerative colitis (this type of diarrhea is bloody...bloody diarrhea is never a happy sign), diarrhea due to increased gut motility, which can be caused by hyperthyroidism, stress, or problems with vagal tone (often found in diabetes), and diarrhea due to decreased gut surface area, which can be caused by destruction of the gut mucosa in certain diseases like certain viruses, by celiac sprue due to gluten sensitivity, or by surgical procedures.
Shall I stop or would you like a more detailed description? I'm an expert on it, you know.
(No, I'm not really an expert, but I do know much more about diarrhea than most people do...and more than I really ever cared to know...and I find this fact both amusing and deeply disturbing).
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
member
531 posts
531 posts
Posted:
No way Ray that was some funny shit .No pun intended Mikey .
-if you're broke all the time and can't afford new toys
No way Ray that was some funny shit .No pun intended Mikey .
-if you're broke all the time and can't afford new toys
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,617 posts
Location: Berlin, Ireland
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,617 posts
Location: Berlin, Ireland
Posted:
...if you were sitting on a wall and then you fell off and a king's soldiers and men couldn't put you back together again.
...if you were sitting on a wall and then you fell off and a king's soldiers and men couldn't put you back together again.
I live in a world of infinite possibilities.
Pooh-Bah
2,419 posts
Location: la-la land
2,419 posts
Location: la-la land
Posted:
If you've just come back from three weeks in Africa to go to work in the same shitty job - where even after you have left LOADS of notes on how your office should be run in your absence and no f*cker has even bothered.. Why did I even bother???
If you've just come back from three weeks in Africa to go to work in the same shitty job - where even after you have left LOADS of notes on how your office should be run in your absence and no f*cker has even bothered.. Why did I even bother???
I honour you as an aspect of myself..
You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London
2,737 posts
Location: London
Posted:
.....If you'd just come back from Africa and they'd done such a good job without you that u suddenly became redundant.
(*Hugz Stix*)
.....If you'd just come back from Africa and they'd done such a good job without you that u suddenly became redundant.
(*Hugz Stix*)
Small Lardy Person In Disguise
Pooh-Bah
2,419 posts
Location: la-la land
2,419 posts
Location: la-la land
Posted:
Now that SmallBoy would be a good thing! The woul dhave to give me redundancy dosh for that! Them I could start my Temple job - full time! (Start part time tonight - can't wait)
Now that SmallBoy would be a good thing! The woul dhave to give me redundancy dosh for that! Them I could start my Temple job - full time! (Start part time tonight - can't wait)
I honour you as an aspect of myself..
You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..
member
119 posts
Location: fort worth, TX, USA
119 posts
Location: fort worth, TX, USA
Posted:
your life might suck if...
you spend 1200 bucks on the prom...the limo breaks down...your tux gets ruined....your date hates you by the end of the night and leaves with someone else....you end up walking the 20 miles home...you are locked out of your house...a freak storm comes up...and you cut your hand open breaking into your own house only to eat a frozen pizza for dinner at 2AM and go into your room to find your stereo system cables torn to hell by your sisters dog...then you try to sleep the rest of the night only to find you have nasty heartburn from the pizza and no antiacids in the house....you then sit up until morning thinking of the hell it will be with the tux rental place cuz of the mess all over the tux....you then get up the courage to take it back to the store....and when you go to start your car then thing turns over once and dies.
ok? if that isnt a your life sucks if story...then i dont know what is...
your life might suck if...
you spend 1200 bucks on the prom...the limo breaks down...your tux gets ruined....your date hates you by the end of the night and leaves with someone else....you end up walking the 20 miles home...you are locked out of your house...a freak storm comes up...and you cut your hand open breaking into your own house only to eat a frozen pizza for dinner at 2AM and go into your room to find your stereo system cables torn to hell by your sisters dog...then you try to sleep the rest of the night only to find you have nasty heartburn from the pizza and no antiacids in the house....you then sit up until morning thinking of the hell it will be with the tux rental place cuz of the mess all over the tux....you then get up the courage to take it back to the store....and when you go to start your car then thing turns over once and dies.
ok? if that isnt a your life sucks if story...then i dont know what is...
its to dying in anothers arms and why i had to try it......
member
127 posts
Location: Melbourne
127 posts
Location: Melbourne
Posted:
Gee, I thought running out of "spice" was bad...
Gee, I thought running out of "spice" was bad...
I'm not vegetarian, but currently I'm off my chops!
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Your life might suck if you just found out that next week you get to shove your finger up someone's ass for the first time.
"Describe whether the prostate feels smooth, lumpy, firm..."
This is just part of my job. This is part of my job. This is part of my job. This is part of my job. This is part...
Your life might suck if you just found out that next week you get to shove your finger up someone's ass for the first time.
"Describe whether the prostate feels smooth, lumpy, firm..."
This is just part of my job. This is part of my job. This is part of my job. This is part of my job. This is part...
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted:
Sorry, the phrase "this is part of my job" is only going to make it worse. You are going to be doing this for a long long while
Sorry, the phrase "this is part of my job" is only going to make it worse. You are going to be doing this for a long long while
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,737 posts
Location: London
2,737 posts
Location: London
Posted:
....if having just done such a good job building the new proxy server for work, you find that your boss will now have TIGHTER control over net monitoring and access..........
....if having just done such a good job building the new proxy server for work, you find that your boss will now have TIGHTER control over net monitoring and access..........
Small Lardy Person In Disguise
How do you change this thing???
1,903 posts
Location: Behind the couch...
1,903 posts
Location: Behind the couch...
Posted:
So how was your anal invasion experience Mike?
So how was your anal invasion experience Mike?
I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.
"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men
SILVER Member
Classic 90's Fire Dancer... Poi, Staff, Doubles, and Breathing
743 posts
Location: South Lake Tahoe, USA
Classic 90's Fire Dancer... Poi, Staff, Doubles, and Breathing
743 posts
Location: South Lake Tahoe, USA
Posted:
Hey man, I had a doctor have to go up my ass, and let me tell ya, its Not fun for eather Party!
Hope I never have to do it again, Shitty for you Mike.
((
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((
))
So tell me, do you have to take turns being the giver, then the reciever?
[ 26. January 2003, 19:24: Message edited by: FireSpirit ]
Hey man, I had a doctor have to go up my ass, and let me tell ya, its Not fun for eather Party!
Hope I never have to do it again, Shitty for you Mike.
((
))
((
))
So tell me, do you have to take turns being the giver, then the reciever?
[ 26. January 2003, 19:24: Message edited by: FireSpirit ]
FIRE IS ALIVE!
IT LIVES AND BREATHS!
IT CONSUMES, AND DISTROYS!
BUT WE CONTROL IT,
AND DANCE WITH FIRE!!
HOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK
Posted:
...IF you went to boarding school full of stuck up rich kids, and you were brought up in Hackney (for all u non brits, we just had a 3 week gun seige here, AND highest gun crime rate in london, very poor part of the city), and all these rich kids think your a loser and totally disrespect you when you know your not a loser cuz your real friends are in london and THEY all love you, but you can only see them on the weekend, and when you get back from that weekend, your surrounded by rich kids again, which really depresses you, and...
Oh, this is only meant to be hypothetical? shit...
...IF you went to boarding school full of stuck up rich kids, and you were brought up in Hackney (for all u non brits, we just had a 3 week gun seige here, AND highest gun crime rate in london, very poor part of the city), and all these rich kids think your a loser and totally disrespect you when you know your not a loser cuz your real friends are in london and THEY all love you, but you can only see them on the weekend, and when you get back from that weekend, your surrounded by rich kids again, which really depresses you, and...
Oh, this is only meant to be hypothetical? shit...
D.B.
X x X x X
Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!
Master of the Free Hug Program
HCH No 2
216 posts
Location: Chester, Cheshire.
216 posts
Location: Chester, Cheshire.
Posted:
My life sucks because...(and be prepared for a rant here)
I have read this thread, and have seen words which might be described by some (not I, I find it all v. amusing) as 'unnaceptable for this type of board.. Sh**y occurs alot, as does s**t, s*x, g*y and an ass thrown in for good measure (ass is ok though, as Jesus rode into Nazareth on an ass (as in donkey people)) Oh and the politely added 'an*l invasion. LOL.
I however got a nasty PM from a mod today because (and I will refrain from quoting) I was offensive in a thread, and something about kiddie freindly searches...
That's all well and good, and I will now say s***y, to avoid conflict. BUT how many of the posters here got nasty PM's about their posts? I thought not!!!
Well, one rule for the Mods and their Mates, and one for the rest of us? That's just S***Y ain't it?
From the b*ll*cking I got, I hate to think what an 'An*l Invasion' in my post might have led to!
OK Rant Well and Truley Over.
THLB is now back to his pleasent, non-agressive, peace loving (really I am) self...Phew!
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Another Squeaky Clean Post from THLB, apart from the smattering of 'an*l invasion's'...
[ 28. January 2003, 00:47: Message edited by: trippyhippyslittlebuddy ]
My life sucks because...(and be prepared for a rant here)
I have read this thread, and have seen words which might be described by some (not I, I find it all v. amusing) as 'unnaceptable for this type of board.. Sh**y occurs alot, as does s**t, s*x, g*y and an ass thrown in for good measure (ass is ok though, as Jesus rode into Nazareth on an ass (as in donkey people)) Oh and the politely added 'an*l invasion. LOL.
I however got a nasty PM from a mod today because (and I will refrain from quoting) I was offensive in a thread, and something about kiddie freindly searches...
That's all well and good, and I will now say s***y, to avoid conflict. BUT how many of the posters here got nasty PM's about their posts? I thought not!!!
Well, one rule for the Mods and their Mates, and one for the rest of us? That's just S***Y ain't it?
From the b*ll*cking I got, I hate to think what an 'An*l Invasion' in my post might have led to!
OK Rant Well and Truley Over.
THLB is now back to his pleasent, non-agressive, peace loving (really I am) self...Phew!
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Another Squeaky Clean Post from THLB, apart from the smattering of 'an*l invasion's'...
[ 28. January 2003, 00:47: Message edited by: trippyhippyslittlebuddy ]
HCH No 2
216 posts
Location: Chester, Cheshire.
216 posts
Location: Chester, Cheshire.
Posted:
.... you found your own signature so funny, you almost had a sample for MikeGinny=Lightening to examine... and everyone else looks blankly at their screens..
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Another squeaky clean post from THLB, apart from the smattering of samples...
.... you found your own signature so funny, you almost had a sample for MikeGinny=Lightening to examine... and everyone else looks blankly at their screens..
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Another squeaky clean post from THLB, apart from the smattering of samples...
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