Forums > Social Chat > Social Etiquette - The unwritten rules of life

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Durbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001

Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England

Total posts: 5688
Posted:~ Never lick another persons Ice cream without their permisson

~ Don't Christen (First burn) someone else's fire toy

~ Don't offer drugs to someone you know doesn't use them

~ Never take a crap in someone else's house

~ Never abuse someone else's pet, even if it is a cat...

~ When speaking to an english-speaking foreigner, don't mimic their accent (American, Aussie etc.)


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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California

Total posts: 2905
Posted:Those kinda go hand in hand with the unwritten rules of war.

Never draw attention to yourself, it pisses off the people around you!

Never fight next to someone braver than you.

The only thing more accurate than enimy fire is friendly fire.

See the guy with the shiny thing on his hat and the guy with the radio on his back? Stay away from them!

Dont give the enimy something to shoot at!

Dont stand infront of the guy with the big arse machine gun!

Never stand infront or behind the guy with the rocket launcher!

hehe Got a whole list of those somewhere.


Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Durbs writing a post on social etiquette?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!! *wipes tear from eye*

(Just kidding! Love ya' Durbs! )

Ray...

MURHPY'S LAWS OF COMBAT

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
4. There is always a way.
5. The easy way is always mined.
6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
a. when you're ready for them.
b. when you're not ready for them.
9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
10. If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:* Never fart in someones house and try to blame the dog...Make sure they have one first.

* Never use someone elses saved game on ps2.Never.

* Never allow your children to run off and 'play' with someone elses fire toys (unlit) and LOOSE them. GGGRRRRRRRRR

* Never say that you will call and then dont bother. Makes people sad.

* Never turn off a Tea Party c.d.

* Dont burn off right in front of a crowd.Ever.(I saw one guy do this and proceed to set a lady ON FIRE) egos are not a happy thing sometimes.

I like this thread.


TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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Durbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001

Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England

Total posts: 5688
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Valura:
* Never allow your children to run off and 'play' with someone elses fire toys (unlit) and LOOSE them. GGGRRRRRRRRRYou lost your kids? Man, that sucks...

~ Don't sleep with a friends relative, no matter how attractive they are

~ Raiding a friends fridge is strictly forbidden, even if you do have chronic munchies

~ Don't even consider borrowing a contact ball to have-a-go with, wait to be offered

~ Don't offer your freshly used hanky to be inspected, only you need study the contents

~ If a friend jokingly writes a blank cheque, it isn't funny to fill it in and sign it

~ Never laugh at someone's music collection (Except sisters/brothers)

~ Flicking peas at confused elderly realives is only allowed at Christmas

~ Don't blame the mess in your room on friends - You invited them

~ Don't try and persuade vegetarians to eat meat - Let them suffer in their ignorance


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DeepSoulSheep
GOLD Member since Sep 2002

DeepSoulSheep

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Berlin, Ireland

Total posts: 2617
Posted:~ Don't drink a glass of milk and leave none for tea/coffee.
~ Never try chat up someones girlfriend when they're holding their hand
~ Don't ever ever go near a friends ex without asking first, no matter how long it's been.
~ Don't ever fart at your desk without taking your headphones off
~ Don't ever fart at your desk without making sure nobody's on their way towards your desk to chat.


I live in a world of infinite possibilities.

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:I haven't chuckled out loud whilst reading for a long time!

My 2 pence..

~ always wait for a smoke to be passed to you.. nothing worse than having a gannet to your left.



I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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primative_toys


happy hunting
Location: Brisnyland

Total posts: 228
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Durbs:

~ Don't try and persuade vegetarians to eat meat - Let them suffer in their ignorance [/QB]a raised glass of red wine hanges tediously as i decide to toast the still beating slab of meat before me or just dig the fuck way in..,.,

cheers
mythmitch

happy hunting


regret nothing, learn everything

fire_light_movement

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primative_toys


happy hunting
Location: Brisnyland

Total posts: 228
Posted:~ when putting out a cigerette make sure its into an ashtry and not a close friends foot,.., i swear twas an accident,..,

mythmitch


regret nothing, learn everything

fire_light_movement

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queen of wands


member
Location: Melbourne

Total posts: 127
Posted:Always offer the last tim tam to someone else.

Dont help yourself to other people's toiletries/makeup/delicacies lying around even if you think they wont notice. They do.

Dont let my cds get scratched please for the love of god.

Remember spliff politics, even with your best buddies! It's toke, toke, pass...

Remember when it's your shout. And buy drinks of equivalent value that I have given you.

Say sorry if you step on someones toe/bump them/spill something on them.

Do not play depressing angry stuff on a comedown in the company of others unless theyre into it too.

Do not look at someone like they are an idiot if they don't hear you properly the first time.

Learn good phone manners, don't just say "hi, is x there?"

I could go on and on...


I'm not vegetarian, but currently I'm off my chops!

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Paddy


back from the dead...sort of
Location: 4341'N 7938'W

Total posts: 884
Posted:My sis came up with a good one when she was two...

"Never write on the person sitting next to you."

It's worked for me so far.


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FireSpirit
SILVER Member since Mar 2001

FireSpirit

Classic 90's Fire Dancer... Poi, Staff, Doubles, and Breathing
Location: South Lake Tahoe, USA

Total posts: 743
Posted:I can't let this thread slip off the 7th page, its too funny!!!

~Don't call people mean names, like stupid.

~Always fill a ladys cup before yours at the keg.

~Never have sex on your friends mothers bed,
(onless its with their mother)

~When tolken a bowl, always leave some green for the next person.

~Do your own dishes, and Clean up after yourself.

~Always Put the Seat Back Down After taking a Leak!

~FS


FIRE IS ALIVE!
IT LIVES AND BREATHS!
IT CONSUMES, AND DISTROYS!
BUT WE CONTROL IT,
AND DANCE WITH FIRE!!

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Durbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001

Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England

Total posts: 5688
Posted:~ Never have sex with your friends mothers bed

~ Rape, Pilige - then burn (Although, don't actually do the first 2 if you're a nice person)

~ Deodarant is not an equivalent to a shower/bath

~ Never kick another mans camel

~ Don't break wind at family meals and blame it on the grandparents

~ Never tell a person whose house you're staying at they need to do housework


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Mistress Aurora


Mistress Aurora

Hot Schtuff
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX

Total posts: 1032
Posted:Hey MikeGinny(Lightning) when I read your list of Murphy's Laws of Combat I couldn't help but notice it is VERY similar to the USMC's Murray's Laws of Combat. Although you did get most of them that are found on mine and a few that weren't on mine,there were a few left out such as:
1.You are not superman
2.If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid
3.No plan survives the first contact intact
4.All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds
5.If you are forward of your position,the artillary will fall short
6.The important things are always simple
7.The simple things are always hard
8.When you have secured an area don't forget to tell the enemy
9.No combat ready unit has EVER passed inspection
10.Beer math is:two beers times 37 men=49 cases
11.Things that must be together to work,usually can't be shipped together
12.Radio's will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately
13.Tracers work both ways!
14.The only thing that is more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire
15.If you take more than your fair share of objectives,you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take
16.When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose,they are both right
AND LAST BUT I'M SURE NOT LEAST IS:
17.When in doubt empty your magazine



RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.

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Magickal_Kaleidoscope


member
Location: Newcastle, Australia

Total posts: 119
Posted:don't eat friends shoes or clothes.

don't go through peoples bins even if they have oreo packets in it.

do not spank any one elses monkey without there permission.

i have learnt the above lessons from my vast experiences .



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TheBovrilMonkey
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

TheBovrilMonkey

Liquid Cow
Location: High Wycombe, England

Total posts: 2629
Posted:This is taken from Batman, but it's a rule I've tried to live by:

Never rub another man's rhubarb


But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

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Durbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001

Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England

Total posts: 5688
Posted:~ Crying with laughter at someones name when you're introduced is not a good way to make friends

~ Sex on a friends sofa is not polite (Unless it's with the friend)

~ Sex on a friends sofa is even less polite if they are in the room at the same time

~ Don't attempt to tune a friends guitar - ask them to. Otherwise you can garuntee you'll snap a string


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Thistle


Thistle

old hand
Location: Nottingham UK

Total posts: 950
Posted:Some of these I disagree with.

For instance, Never take a crap at someone else's house. Any visitors can feel free to use my toilet as nature intended. If you've need to go then you've got to go. Not to is unhealthy.

Raiding a friends fridge is strictly forbidden, even if you do have chronic munchies. My fridge is open to raiding whenever anyone's hungry. However, I am not a destitute student with only basic rations to live on (who, strangely, can't afford more food but can afford to buy unlimited beer/grass/hash ) and I can understand the difference.

Here's one of my own.

* If you use the last bit of toilet paper get another roll out or let the host know there's none left.

-edit for spelling

[ 29. January 2003, 23:56: Message edited by: Thistle ]


Are we nearly there yet?

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Trippie Hippie
BRONZE Member since May 2002

Trippie Hippie

old hand
Location: Bewildered state of nothingnes...

Total posts: 733
Posted:This is a fun thread, Heres my contribution:
===-=-=----=====-=-=-=-=====-=-=-==-==-====-=-=

Never shit on your own door step.

Never piss into the wind.

If it's not broken, don't try and fix it.

"I was drunk" does not excuse you.

Never call yourself an expert because an ex is a has-been and a spurt is a drip under pressure.

Always give her a pillow to bite.

Just because it's your 'Time of the month' it doesn't mean that I want to die..........just you.

Just because it's cute and cuddly doesn't mean that it won't try and kill you as soon as you fall asleep.

If you wear two left shoes, you won't walk around in circles, You'll just look stupid.

If you pull a silly face and the wind blows, it won't stick, but you may well get crapped on by a bird.

Saying "Why", "Why", "Why" after everything someone says, will not help you to learn more, it will however get your noise broken.

If your wife suggests that you pay for her to have plastic surgery to keep her feeling young.........Smile, Nod your head and agree.
Then wipe that smile off her face by cutting your credit card in half and asking "There, feel any younger"?????

Patients is not a virtue, it's a waste of time.

Chivalry is not another form of chilblains.

Never walk into a hardware store and ask for a left handed hammer.

A Japs eye can be found outside of the Orient.

Pretending to be gay can be a real pain in the arse

Teaching your granny to suck eggs is potentially fatal.

Good girls ALWAYS swallow.

LOL
Taking it easy
Trippy

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night i met some pixies and we danced around a stone.
N.E.W.B. Agent #012
"I Got Soul"
Non-Https Image Link


[ 31. January 2003, 02:06: Message edited by: Trippy Hippy ]



Trippie Hippie- Monty Dons secret love child

Fly like a mouse, run like a pillow, be the small book case.

"Last night i met some pixies and we danced around a stone".

Because dressing up is fun.

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Durbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001

Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England

Total posts: 5688
Posted:~ Don't joke with your girlfriend about her PMT, especially with your friends it only makes them cross

~ Don't play the violin or accordian - ever

~ Wipe your noes on your sleeve, not the person sitting next you's jacket sleeve. Always check...

~ Laughing at your partners "come face" is a big no-no


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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:First of all...ease up on the sex talk. Remember we posted the cutting back of that and swearing? Substitution phrase such as "Ice cream" for sex are acceptible.

~Never eat off someone else's plate unless they offer or you are sure they are done.

~Never congratulate a woman on her pregnancy unless she is wearing a baby on board t-shirt or some othe indicative clothing.

~When going to toss salt over your left shoulder, make sure no one is standing behind you (it burns the eyes)

~If you don't know the sex of the baby by the clothing/name or any other obvious method of identification, don't say anything about how cute s/he is.

~If someone has a tape/file about that you think is blank...ask before you tape/write over it, pleeeeease. (Lost a great tape once that way)

~Knock the snow off your boots before you enter my house fully, especially if it is colored yellow or any shade of brown.



[ 31. January 2003, 08:32: Message edited by: Pele ]


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Ade
SILVER Member since Mar 2001

Are we there yet?
Location: australia

Total posts: 1897
Posted:yep, got to agree with Thistle - use my loo, eat my food, and drink my tea all you like. Just replace the roll when used, and make me a tea when you make yourself one as well

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Ade:
yep, got to agree with Thistle - use my loo, eat my food, and drink my tea all you like. Just replace the roll when used, and make me a tea when you make yourself one as well Abso-friggen-lutely! And if you are my friend that means you are not a guest and I don't have to wait on you! I'm very user friendly! ..er...wait...that came out wrong!


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Durbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001

Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England

Total posts: 5688
Posted:~ Girlfriends/Boyfriends are not verbal scratching posts

~ A "Dirty Sanchez" is not a funny party trick

~ Spiking someone's drink is soooooooo wrong

~ Always show consideration to someone throwing a whitey, we've all been there

~ Don't drop someones white/day glo props in a muddy puddle


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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:quote: Originally posted by Durbs
~ Crying with laughter at someones name when you're introduced is not a good way to make friends This is soooo true.. sometimes I fail to conduct myself in a way that is considered proper when meeting new people...I once laughed until I couldnt breathe when I was introduced to my best friends new boyfriend... His name was Terry BUGSLAG
That was it, I was a mess...
Everytime I looked at him I would just snort...and start laughing again
We eventually became very good friends once he got used to my sense of humor...


TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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SNOOPoi


SNOOPoi

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: At the bottom of the garden wi...

Total posts: 3380
Posted:This is a very funny thread!! I like it!!

-NEVER get Turkish revenge on your best friend!! They ALWAYS get you back!!

(To all those that don't know what Turkish revenge is, it's when you stab someone in the bum with something pointy!!)

[ 05. February 2003, 11:34: Message edited by: SNOOPoi ]


THWACK!!!!
Liz_Ard: Ouch!
SNOOPoi: Thats just not the sound of someone doing it right!

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Fire-N-Water


member


Total posts: 36
Posted:~There is nobody more special then the friends you already have

~Creativity is an open mind to life's experiences, not just the drawing you did last night

~If you plan on tokin', be sure to bring some to share

And Durbs, gotta say one of my sexiest friends plays the accordian like a mad woman...


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Ade
SILVER Member since Mar 2001

Are we there yet?
Location: australia

Total posts: 1897
Posted:Durbs, anyone, - what's a whitey



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Prometheus


Prometheus

Diamond In The Rough
Location: Richmond, Virginia

Total posts: 459
Posted:I don't know much about life, but here's some rules for writers I keep near my desk:

1. Laern two spel
2. Avoid alliteration. Always.
3. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
4. Don't use no double-negatives
5. Remember to never split an infinitive
6. Contractions aren't necessary
7. Avoid clishes like the plague
8. Exaggeration is a zillion times worse than understatement
9. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
10. Finally, always proofread your work, in case you words out.


Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.

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Durbs
BRONZE Member since Sep 2001

Durbs

Classically British
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England

Total posts: 5688
Posted:quote:Originally posted by Prometheus:

3. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
I disagree:
~ Why use one word when superfluous adjectives suffice?

FYI - A "whitey", most often encountered when mixing alcohol and skunk, the person goes white/grey, their head spins madly and nothing is more appealing than a dark place with a bed. Not pleasant and seemingly strike at random

Anyway, back on topic:

~ Never roach a friends Rizla packet unless you ask. A paper is one thing, a roach is another


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ivan..


ivan..

member
Location: Halifax, NS

Total posts: 165
Posted:1. always say "thank you " when recieving
2. always say "please" when asking
3. ( for the boy's only ) NEVER wear your cap/hat inside or at the table ...

everything else is debatable.

they are my mom's bare minimum rules .. and she will kick your ass.


thats right i look like an albino ape that has had a bad day.. go ahead say something stupid... i dare ya !

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