• All Purchases made this month instantly go into the draw to win a USD $ 100.00 credit to your HoP account.
 

TiffX
BRONZE Member since Sep 2005

member
Location: England

Total posts: 76
Posted:Hey guys

well i have just been dumped by my boyfriend of 9 months.
at first we decided to go on a break but now its final.
i feel kinda crap as u would expect so if anyone has any advice or words of wisdom i would be most greatful.

cheers

Peace and Love


Pass the dutchie on the left hand side!

Delete Topic

NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Sucks indeed.

The best advice that I can give is at least it's over now and you can move on. In 6 months, you'll already be 6 months away. It's certainly better than dragging on in a bad relationship and being in the same place 6 months from now.

It gets better. biggrin


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Delete

TiffX
BRONZE Member since Sep 2005

member
Location: England

Total posts: 76
Posted:yeah i know your right and thanks for replying.

breaking up really sucks tho, i reckon its one of the most hurtful and painful things that can ever happen to someone.
( unless you count having an arm chopped off, now thats gotta smart!!)


Pass the dutchie on the left hand side!

Delete

NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Interstingly, I never really found breakups as painful as being in relationships you know you shouldn't. Sometimes breakups are a relief. And sometomes fear of breaking up keeps people in relationships they should have ended.

I think being unable to leave a bad relationship is worse than a breakup in the long run.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Delete

Nephtys


Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Total posts: 835
Posted:Awwww honey, I'm really sorry to hear that! hug hug hug

The only advice I can give is spend loads of time with your friends: they will be able to lend you an ear and a shoulder, and maybe you'll be able to have a laugh with them too. Also, pamper yourself: do what you enjoy, eat what you want, take long hot baths... whatever makes you feel even the slightest bit better!

Everyone always advises 'no contact' with your ex until you're over him: they're probably right, so do that if you can manage it... i've never been able to though smile

NYC, not all relationships end because they are 'bad'. Things might be going just fine, but one of the partners just doesn't feel 'that way' about the other anymore. If the other person still loves them and hadn't seen it coming, it's devastating because it doesn't feel like you're 'getting out' of anything at all, you're losing something you didn't want to lose.

Take good care of yourself TiffX!!!!!!! hug hug hug


everyone's unique except me

Delete

Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:my best advice is to take your time and to let your grief run its course. don't pine, but don't force yourself to get over someone in an unnatural way. ie: if your friends/family say you should be over it and you aren't, then there's nothing wrong with you, it's just your own way, your own time.

it's a similar sort of thing as grieving for someone who has died (according to my psychologist)


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

Delete

FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:frown That SUX - but you know someone better will come your way soon!

Take good care of yourself, please!

hug

ubbangel


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

Delete

The Misguided Oracle
GOLD Member since Aug 2005

The Misguided Oracle

the floor is a sea of tigers...
Location: Brisvegas

Total posts: 404
Posted:advice? just remeber that singledom rocks very very hard smile

"My body is a well tuned machine... It just needs a competent driver." - ?

Delete

TiffX
BRONZE Member since Sep 2005

member
Location: England

Total posts: 76
Posted:Thank you all so much for your kind word and support.

some days are better than others but i think i am dealing with it.
its so tough breaking up with someone, especially if you thought they were 'the one'. obviously he wasnt the one and im trying to tell myself that someone who will love me for who i am is out there somewhere...... doesnt feel like it at the mo tho.


Pass the dutchie on the left hand side!

Delete

jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops

Total posts: 4525
Posted:my advice, put some kick ass music on, have a good dance about, eat some proper good nosh, and spoil yourself rotten. A good bounce to a funky CD always cheers me up.
I like to think of life as bus journey, people get on and off at different stops, just cause they wont travel to the end with you doesnt make it all bad smile


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Delete

Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:and most importantly, now you can go chill in the singles thread (that i created but am not allowed in...im seeing problems...) but anyways! it's a very friendly thread full of lovely people! biggrin

hug glad to hear you are coping!

something that's helped me through many a hard time is:
"it will be alright in the end. if it's not alright, then it's not the end"
so very very very very true!


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

Delete

FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:I just had to dump my "girlfriend" of 12 months, of which I haven't seen her 10 months. Never received a "resonable" letter - just short notes "I love you"...

Offered her help to leave Israel, made prepositions, gave advice, sent money... I understand her position (Israel is expensive, national security insurance, high unemployment) and her problems (6 years of lawsuit against the gov't for an accident she was involved in the army)...

But I just can't handle this anymore, hanging out by myself, strings attached... "open relationship" doesn't work for me.. so I just finally had to do it... Still no letter... I mean Israel is not the Kongo and they DO HAVE Internet cafes and computers at relatives...

I feel like sh*t, but I know it'll be better someday and I'm open for somebody who cares the way I need it... (where was this "singles-thread" again?)

Just tired of being all-one... like to be twogether with someone who cares and shares, makes some effort (minimal at least)... *gnarglsob* frown


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

Delete

Nephtys


Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Total posts: 835
Posted:hug for Firetom as well, and another one for TiffX hug

everyone's unique except me

Delete

TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr

Total posts: 4217
Posted:I'd rather be the dumper than the dumpee.

getting dumped as an adolescence on valentines day is not fun.

After the pain cometh the anger and vengeful feelings will probably arise, but these will all pass in due time. Do stuff to take your mind off it, you'll be fine hug


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

Delete

FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:eek WHAT? ON VALENTINES DAY? I must have overread this...eek

What an insensitive censored mad2!!!!!!

hug TiffX don't miss him, he's not worthy! *shakes head*


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

Delete

TiffX
BRONZE Member since Sep 2005

member
Location: England

Total posts: 76
Posted:Valentines day..that sucks! valentines day was my ex's birthday, oh no here come the tears!! sob!

i feel like i am gonna be alone forever, i always manage to push people away from me, this is the third time in a row that i have been dumped with the same reason ... its not you its me... and i was dumped at 3 times at the same time of year, feb-april!
is it me or just the time of year?!


Pass the dutchie on the left hand side!

Delete

Tao Star


Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 1662
Posted:people always say the same thing when they're breaking up....the hard truth is that sometimes what you had just kind of fades. no one wants it to happen, not even the person doing the breaking up, but it just does...and there's only so many words that you can explain yourself with

it's not you its me is so true....it sounds corny, but when you say that it's because you know that something inside you has changed...you're different from when you started out and you have to end things there. that reson you keep hearing that is beause the people you break up with are human, and they have similar experiences to each other.

all the advice people are giving is true, it's hard, but you do it becuse you have to! keep your chin up, be around people who love you, friends & family, and in 6 months time i promise you will be the happiest bunny in the field!


I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

Delete

flicky
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

member
Location: scotland

Total posts: 70
Posted:i dont think anything anyoen said when i came out of my 4 year retionship helped... just had to work my way through it and just stick with what and who made me feel best and even now a year and abit on i'll still shed a wee tear here or there grouphug so here is a hug and good luck

Delete


Similar Topics

Using the keywords [dumped] we found the following similar topics.
1. Forums > DUMPED [17 replies]
2. Forums > The Worst Way to be dumped or to dump [27 replies]
3. Forums > Been Dumped (or something like that) [20 replies]
4. Forums > One broken heart with a spare ticket to Paris? [26 replies]
5. Forums > The beautiful people [20 replies]

     Show more..