Forums > Social Chat > A helping hand on matters of the heart...
Login/Join to ParticipateCarpal \'Tunnel
3,380 posts
Location: At the bottom of the garden with the fairies...
3,380 posts
Location: At the bottom of the garden with the fairies...
Posted:
hey... guys i've been in hiding but i'm back with a dilemma... can anyone help...?
i'm falling for this guy who i really like, who also likes me, but he has a 'girlfriend'. things have happened between me and this guy but he keeps dropping me when she clicks her fingers...
what do i do...? do i carry waiting and hoping that one day i will have him all to myself... or do i move on and let it go...?
i have tried to forget him but whenever she lets him down for anything he rings me... and i guess i like the fact that he needs me, i'm just sick of being his back up plan...
i do all the important things for him... like when he had to go to court i went with him... i went to his dads for his dads birthday with him... his family love me but hate her...
my head is so muddled right now... i haven't felt these feelings for a guy for a year...
Snoop
hey... guys i've been in hiding but i'm back with a dilemma... can anyone help...?
i'm falling for this guy who i really like, who also likes me, but he has a 'girlfriend'. things have happened between me and this guy but he keeps dropping me when she clicks her fingers...
what do i do...? do i carry waiting and hoping that one day i will have him all to myself... or do i move on and let it go...?
i have tried to forget him but whenever she lets him down for anything he rings me... and i guess i like the fact that he needs me, i'm just sick of being his back up plan...
i do all the important things for him... like when he had to go to court i went with him... i went to his dads for his dads birthday with him... his family love me but hate her...
my head is so muddled right now... i haven't felt these feelings for a guy for a year...
Snoop THWACK!!!!
Liz_Ard: Ouch!
SNOOPoi: Thats just not the sound of someone doing it right!
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
Awww - this can be really heart taring... It's complicated and I would not want to advocate any "solution" to you...
I wish that he will make up his mind (for you) soon...
Good luck
and 
Awww - this can be really heart taring... It's complicated and I would not want to advocate any "solution" to you...I wish that he will make up his mind (for you) soon...
Good luck
and the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
SILVER Member
Are you up for it??
349 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Are you up for it??
349 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posted:
tough situation.....
On one hand....
Going on above quote, I'd suggest next time he rings you, meet up with him & talk to him, tell him straight that you're "sick of being his back up plan" & to make up his mind - you or her.
O fcourse don't be as blunt as what I've said, if he's okay & easy to talk to you should be able to say that sort of thing to him.
He's counting on you being there for him when she's not... why should he have his cake & eat it too..
On the other... it's very hard to give up a guy in a situation like this when you really like him (taken from personal experience) so the alternative is to take it for what it is.... abit of fun every now & then, but that means keeping your feelings back a bit.
Honestly, only you can choose whether to wait or not. Good luck
Written by: SNOOPoi
i have tried to forget him but whenever she lets him down for anything he rings me... and i guess i like the fact that he needs me, i'm just sick of being his back up plan...
tough situation.....
On one hand....
Going on above quote, I'd suggest next time he rings you, meet up with him & talk to him, tell him straight that you're "sick of being his back up plan" & to make up his mind - you or her.
O fcourse don't be as blunt as what I've said, if he's okay & easy to talk to you should be able to say that sort of thing to him.
He's counting on you being there for him when she's not... why should he have his cake & eat it too..
On the other... it's very hard to give up a guy in a situation like this when you really like him (taken from personal experience) so the alternative is to take it for what it is.... abit of fun every now & then, but that means keeping your feelings back a bit.
Honestly, only you can choose whether to wait or not. Good luck
Are you up for it?
;)
veteran
1,328 posts
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia
1,328 posts
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia
Posted:
you have said that stuff has happened between the two of you, please correct me if I am wrong here, but what says that if he has cheated (?) on her, he wont do it to you (once again, please correct me if I took things out of context)
you have said that stuff has happened between the two of you, please correct me if I am wrong here, but what says that if he has cheated (?) on her, he wont do it to you (once again, please correct me if I took things out of context)
SILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
Posted:
i think what it comes down to is your own well-being. if he's as good as a guy to you, he will understand if you tell him how you feel. and there's nothing to say you can't keep your heart at a distance while still keeping a great friendship. just tell him he needs to make a choice, cause it's not fair to you, and in the meantime, just keep the friendship as is
i think what it comes down to is your own well-being. if he's as good as a guy to you, he will understand if you tell him how you feel. and there's nothing to say you can't keep your heart at a distance while still keeping a great friendship. just tell him he needs to make a choice, cause it's not fair to you, and in the meantime, just keep the friendship as is
I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
**giggles**
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
i'm with hanz on this one sorry snoop
i'm with hanz on this one sorry snoop
GOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Posted:
My advice - don't mess about with someone who is attached - even if they want to start something. It will get messy.
If they didn't want to be with that person then they should have broken it off.
The words "pot, kettle and black" may pop into your mind as I say that but I'm staying for the sake of the kids....
My advice - don't mess about with someone who is attached - even if they want to start something. It will get messy.
If they didn't want to be with that person then they should have broken it off.
The words "pot, kettle and black" may pop into your mind as I say that but I'm staying for the sake of the kids....
Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible
resident fridge magnet
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posted:
Snoopoi, hon, this is not a good situation for any of you - except for the boy in question who is getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He's using you, if he really wanted to be with you he'd break up with her to be with you. Even if he does end up dumping her for you, you already know he's a cheater. How long before he finds someone else on the side when he's with you?
Besides which, you should simply never get involved with someone who has a partner, no matter how unhappy they claim to be with that partner. It's simply wrong. Imagine how you'd feel if someone were chasing after your boyfriend! At your age, cheating is incredibly hurtful to the one who is betrayed. Later in life, it's the kind of thing that rips families apart.
please take care!
Snoopoi, hon, this is not a good situation for any of you - except for the boy in question who is getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He's using you, if he really wanted to be with you he'd break up with her to be with you. Even if he does end up dumping her for you, you already know he's a cheater. How long before he finds someone else on the side when he's with you?
Besides which, you should simply never get involved with someone who has a partner, no matter how unhappy they claim to be with that partner. It's simply wrong. Imagine how you'd feel if someone were chasing after your boyfriend! At your age, cheating is incredibly hurtful to the one who is betrayed. Later in life, it's the kind of thing that rips families apart.
please take care!
everyone's unique except me
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Oh, and here I thought you had a cardiology question...
Oh, and here I thought you had a cardiology question...
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
Internet Hate Machine
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
10,530 posts
Location: They seek him here, they seek him there...
Posted:
Asking for relationship help on any kind of internet forum, especailly HoP, is only asing for trouble...
Asking for relationship help on any kind of internet forum, especailly HoP, is only asing for trouble...
The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."
Scientist of Fortune
1,189 posts
Location: Edinburgh
1,189 posts
Location: Edinburgh
Posted:
I'm p**sed on whisky at the moment and I agree with Fine Rabid Dog but I'll chip in too...
Sounds like you're being used. There will be other men and other loves who won't just see you as a back up plan. It'll be difficult but you should move on as quickly as possible. It'll probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do but I think you already know what to do already but just feel insecure about it.
That's just my opinion though...
I'm p**sed on whisky at the moment and I agree with Fine Rabid Dog but I'll chip in too...
Sounds like you're being used. There will be other men and other loves who won't just see you as a back up plan. It'll be difficult but you should move on as quickly as possible. It'll probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do but I think you already know what to do already but just feel insecure about it.
That's just my opinion though...
According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Dynamics, we may already be making love right now...
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,380 posts
Location: At the bottom of the garden with the fairies...
3,380 posts
Location: At the bottom of the garden with the fairies...
Posted:
well guys... you are all right... and i have been trying something... i haven't spoken to him, rang him, or even txt him... an he hasn't even talked to me... so we are well and truly over... i don't have the time for heart breakers!
i am doing some life cleansing at the minute an i have decided anyone who is not good for me will not be in my life... a few people are gonna get some bitter good-byes!
thank you all for giving me your help, i respect all of your opinions even if i disagree with them!
snoopoi
well guys... you are all right... and i have been trying something... i haven't spoken to him, rang him, or even txt him... an he hasn't even talked to me... so we are well and truly over... i don't have the time for heart breakers!
i am doing some life cleansing at the minute an i have decided anyone who is not good for me will not be in my life... a few people are gonna get some bitter good-byes!
thank you all for giving me your help, i respect all of your opinions even if i disagree with them!
snoopoi THWACK!!!!
Liz_Ard: Ouch!
SNOOPoi: Thats just not the sound of someone doing it right!
BRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Posted:
Better lare than NEVER....
ALL MEN ARE
EXCEPT A selct few
Better lare than NEVER....
ALL MEN ARE
EXCEPT A selct few
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