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Forums > Social Chat > Ego - an unwanted burden!!

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Location: Lancashire, UK
Member Since: 23rd Mar 2002
Total posts: 669
Posted:As I don't start threads/post often allow me to everyone

Okay go with me on this......
I went to a great art exhibition Friday night ( shouldn't that be Frinight??) titled 'Shopping' aiming at depicting the influence the 20th Centuary has had on the world of shopping. It aim is to depict the way marketing, advertising & shops use psychology to try and make us buy products that we don't need. The first exhibit way a supermarket. An entrance, trolleys & baskets, 3 isles perfectly stacked, check-outs, the lot, even a few people dressed in uniform (stopping poeple from taking anything off the shelf!! ). Initially I was dissapointed, I understood what the artist was trying to say and wanted something more challenging. The some of the people I went with didn't understand it, so I said how I percieved it and felt arrogant in doing so . I felt arrogant because I have always assumed that other people have the same knowledge as myself, I now feel that this is my ego showing itself.

Allow me to digress......
Over the last 2 / 2.5 years I have been going through a rough time, and living a very isolated life. It started my a kinda breakdown after returning from 6 mind-bendingly amazing months in India returning to live at my Mother's house with no plans and and serious case of Dehli-belli, I had Giadisis for 3 months. (...through the eye of a needle ain't no exaggeration ) My sister was/is going through a similar experience and my mother was going nuts not understanding what was going on, thinking India was the cause (My sister was heading out for her second trip to India as I returned from mine). It may be old fashioned, but I felt that as the man of the family I had to be the strong one and try my best to hold the whole thing together. During my time in India I had learnt a lot, about myself and about...the universe man A lot of things have added together to cause this level of depression in me & I have realised recently that a major problem I have is the way I communicate with people. Not my skills, but throughout my life alot of important people have come and gone and when I meet people I do everything I can to get that person to like me to stop them going away. For a long time I thought I had done permanant damage to my brain from taking drugs, but that's a whole other story involving a desert island and another dimension. This depression has been and is really hard to deal with, however I can now see that I am progressing and have the ability to change any areas of my life that I want to, and that I have been held back by fear. I have written all this to give you an understanding of where my head has been in getting to this point, and to step out of the shadows.

Now that I have recognised my ego I feel I am a step closer to getting rid of it. Poi & HoP have helped me to stay sane, so special thanks Malcolm, and thanks and to all Hop-ers. Oh thanks also if you've just read through all that.

Phew... damn computer crashed the first time I wrote this.

LuNcHbOx...(Aka. Nathan)-un-single
Location: beneath a cloak of self-tortur...
Member Since: 3rd Oct 2002
Total posts: 536
Posted:dude i hate me eg-...
\ait.. i don't have one...
so anyways...
i read about half that and skimmed the other parts,
darn sort attention span...
but that was a really nice post...
(picks up massive club,..stands, straightens out leapord skin toga, and walks back to his cave.)

-LuNcHbOx, Aka. Nathan...Give a man to fish, and that man knows where to come for more fish...Teach a man to fish and you have just destroyed your market base...

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Member Since: 11th Jan 2002
Total posts: 2996
Posted:Hey FireMorph. I think I know what you mean. I would have been the same in that art exhibition. I would have been desparately searching for a more complicated message, something more challenging. It would have meant that I would have listened to and appreciated the simpler message.

Letting go of ego around the issue of intelligence, doesn't mean letting the intelligence go. It means appreciating every level without saying one is better than another. Simple ideas have as much value as complicated concepts.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Fire By Riz tm
Location: tampa fl usa
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 212
That is a pretty heavy duty post.From what I read dealing with a hell of alot more than ego..
ego is a nasty little bugger it rears it's head
in all different forms well at least for me it does and sometimes to a degree that is so sutle i dont even relize it...To me i find ego deflation
a ongoing battle and one i lose more than win on a daily basis..but i am a better man today than i was yesterday so it is all good...
What struck me with your post was the fear/ the depression..I have battled those demonds as well
the worst part of it was i was battling self centered fears or self delousions as i call them
fear of being alone not being liked not good enough stuff like that.and that threw me into a real bad cycle and still does on somedays.. i would coware down to one of these self delousions
then slip into a depression then start to isolate myself which for me isnt healthy ..Like you said once i became aware of this self made crap i started seeing how it was holding me back
and took some actions to change and improve myself..It was and is tough and scary at times but well worth the outcome even when i fail at what i am trying to do.I chaulk that up to just being human..
Funny thing about life is the soultion to our problems always appears before the problem .and fire was one of my soultions when i am spinning
and hanging with my fire freinds for that momnent in time that is my whole world just me and fire
no other problems isnt life grand ...
Morph keep your head up your not alone with these problems of life.we all suffer from them
most wil just never admit they do

I have been cursed with the imagination to envision it all

Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:If it wasnt for your ego you will never do some things. It can be a driving force behind some of your lifes greatest decisions.

Controle your ego, dont get rid of it. To be able to get rid of a problem takes streangth, to be able to controle it takes power.

Be strong man, dont give up just yet.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

old hand
Location: New York City
Member Since: 8th Sep 2002
Total posts: 899
Posted:I need my ego to enable me to do things that I wouldn't be able to do without it.

There is a time and a place for hubris too.



Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland
Member Since: 27th Jun 2001
Total posts: 3989
Posted:Ego is usually seen in a bad light, whereas the good version is called confidence.

I know it sounds silly, but learning to recognise when you are being confident and when the ego is in control is an important step to keep your self esteem in good working order.

A useful defintion I was told that I like, is that Ego does things only in front of others, and likes to boast about how great you are.

Confidence doesn't mind if people are watching or not, it allows you to do things that are fun, or need doing.

When you say you told everyone what you thought the diplay meant, did you talk to down to them as if they were children (Ego - you can't talk down to people if they aren't there!).

Or did you explain that what you thought it meant was ..., something you might write in a diary or article.

Distinguishing the two is hard. But every time you get embarrased or annoyed at your ego, it will get easier to control it the next time, so everything has a postive outcome.

In my opinion, of course

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)
Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

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Location: San Diego California
Member Since: 31st Dec 2001
Total posts: 2905
Posted:If you get rid of one, then I think you will lose the other, both outcomes are bad.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"


Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100
Posted:Yeah, egos suck. Exept for my ego. My ego is f*cking fantastic

So, am I reading this correctly, you are out to get rid of your ego to become a more likeable and more easy going person?

The solution is simple, though actually implementing it into your life is difficult, as it requires being totally and brutally honest with your self (which is a hard thing for most people to do, or at least it was hard for me). All you have to do is this: Forgive people completely (and silently to yourself) for the annoying they do that are also things that you do yourself. This will entail a good deal of self examination. Basicly when I find myself getting angry I take a second to think if the cause of my anger is something that I do too. If so I immediately let the issue drop, and then I make a note to change the behavior in my own life. Doing this also gives you a chance to asess the situation so that even if you find your anger to be justified it gives you a chance to decide whether or not it is worth being angry about it at all.

When you do this the ego doesn't present itself as a problem in relationships and you can focus on all the good points of ego that are important to normal mental health. You will also find that you get angry much, much less and not as much because you are letting things slide that you would normally get upset about, but because you will find youself in antagonistic situations much, much less. Stress goes waaaaay down.

If I am reading into this too much please forgive me. If you're just feeling crappy cause you got snotty over an art interpretation then don't feel too bad. You're probobly not anywhere near as bad as 90% of the normal art community. Most of them are a bunch of pretentious f*cks.

Jesus helps me trick people.


Location: Lancashire, UK
Member Since: 23rd Mar 2002
Total posts: 669
Posted:Thanks for your replies I was feeling frustrated, and you've helped me put things into perspective.

I'm still a newbie interms of getting down with using BB's, and the dynamics of them, so I'll give you all an individual response:

Mr.Box - let me know if there's a spare cave going?

Rozi - I'm glad to know someone else would have the same thoughts, I soon got a different appreciation for the art piece when I realised that it was enlightening people that had never contemplated psychological marketing. Cheers for that hammock, it's damn comfy!

Riz - respect for making changes, and sharing your story!! I find that implementing change is one of the hardest parts, I have to give myself a kick every now and again. I find it difficult seeing some of my old mates who are getting on with life without facing their probs, but that helps me tackle mine coz I would rather go through this process and come out the other side an improved Morph than keep hiding things and having to face them later. Respect for your photo's too

Raymund - I'm no where near giving up the fight now man

Raph - good use of the word hubris

Charles - I agree with you, I didn't feel confident enough to be able to just explain my perception, so I tried to be confident and it came out as if I was being egotistical, which was the last thing I intended. By increasing my confidence I hope to be able to control my ego. For example when I poi infront of people, especially other poi-ers, because I feel nervous, I can't relax & I feel like I am showing off and being egotistical.

Sickpuppy - f@cking fantastic ego You summed up part of what I have been doing, I have pulled all areas of my life apart and analysed each and every bit (near enough) and now I'm putting it back together with understanding and improvements. & your right about getting angry with people, understanding why and where it is coming from and being able to relate to it takes away the stress. I have been dealing with a lot of things, a mixture of running things through my head 24-7, not having a mates round here, and stopping smoking all leads me to get super-confused at times, but it going well, and I feel smiles better. Artists can be pretentious, honestly?

Even tho I have probs communicating at the moment, I like to think I treat all people the same. Thanks again.

[ 28. December 2002, 09:04: Message edited by: FireMorph ]

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