Forums > Social Chat > (Rant) Being asked "Are you gay?"

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Domino
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 757
Posted:Right....



Disclaimer - I'm a tad (ha) worse for drink than usual which has made me shorter of temperament than usual.



Tonight, not for the first time, I've been asked "Are you gay?" for being more eloquent/intelligent(?) than those around me.



I won't deny it, when I'm asked something like this or when I feel that someone's "predijouses" [[ I have no idea on the spelling of this - beliefs based on sterotypes]] merits it I will pretend to be more "gay" than I actually am.



But still, it makes me wonder. Are homosexual men (I can't really apply this to women) more elloquent that average? Or is that you women expect us heterosexual men to communicate in grunts and arm motions?



I'm not .. no, yes, I *am* offended, not because some one is questioning my sexuality but because someone is questioning my sexuality BECAUSE OF THE WORDING I CHOOSE TO USE.



So, as ineloquently as I can put this, with added arm motions, WHAT THE censored IS GOING ON? Why is it that when I use more syllables than expected or (heaven forbid,) logic my sexuality is in question?







Just to clarify, I have a girlie friend that I love dearly and, as far as I can tell, understands me (or is at least willing to listen and learn) so this is by no means a rant against the female race as a whole, just that section of it that I keep seeming to run into. Neither is this any kind of anti-homosexual thing. Maybe I'm a "Masculinist" but I object, just a tad, to this idea that heterosexual men are nothing but sperm donors/toys/objects of amusement that seems to be so prevalent in the (at least British) media these days.



Further disclaimer - Yes I'm angry. Yes I'm drunk. Apologies or further explanations may appear tomorrow.


Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.

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clarence_quack
clarence_quack

QuackerJack
Location: over your left shoulder
Member Since: 23rd Feb 2005
Total posts: 1927
Posted:Claire's rant time...

One of the regulars came into work today, looked me up and down, then proceeded to turn to one of the guys I work with and asked "what's with the coloured hair thing? Do you have lots of dykes working here?"
Now, out of all the people I work with, only two of us have coloured hair. So it could only be directed at me and my friend Katie. I have blue and pink streaks through my hair, Katie has short hair with half blue, half red/orange. Clearly, this MUST make us lesbians.
If I followed similar reasoning, then the fact the this guys wears pink thongs clearly makes him gay. Beacause no straight guy would be caught dead wearing pink, just as no straight girl would be caught dead with coloured hair.

My question is, What kind of narrow minded idiots feel the need to make this type of comment?


(Just for the record, we're both straight!)

Ok, rant over. smile


Nutella Brigade Unite!

"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge

Owned By Steaks

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Domino
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 757
Posted:Written by: coleman

Written by: Doc Lightning

Except I like dic...er...schlon...er...ween...um... footinmouth



man, that smiley made me do a double take! wink


cole. x




ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol


Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.

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Dentrassi
Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane
Member Since: 9th Apr 2003
Total posts: 3044
Posted:Written by: clarence_quack

the fact the this guys wears pink thongs clearly makes him gay.




well.... i suppose it depends what type of pink thong we are talking about... wink


"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

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Domino
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 757
Posted:*Smacks own head*

Aussies! She talking about sandles!

Was wondering about that...


Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.

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ducky2108
ducky2108

A little bit of a board whore
Location: Glasgow
Member Since: 18th Dec 2005
Total posts: 147
Posted:Oh right. Flip flops. I was just about to mention how no gay man in their right mind would be caught dead in a pink g-strig

Ancient wiseman say "It is very strange person, who, when left alone in room with teacosy, does not try it on"

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ducky2108
ducky2108

A little bit of a board whore
Location: Glasgow
Member Since: 18th Dec 2005
Total posts: 147
Posted:Also, to NeonShaolin, a lot of gay men don't like being thought of as straight. And, can we not use the word "mate" I think the word you're looking for is partner. Last I knew, mate usually means breeding, and gays are to goo at that sort of thing. It's not the issue itself I have problems with. It's the words being used to describe to.

Some people seem to be quite happy to use the word "I was accused of being gay once". Accused to me, and to a lot of other people, suggests something wrong.


Ancient wiseman say "It is very strange person, who, when left alone in room with teacosy, does not try it on"

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clarence_quack
clarence_quack

QuackerJack
Location: over your left shoulder
Member Since: 23rd Feb 2005
Total posts: 1927
Posted:Written by: Domino

*Smacks own head*

Aussies! She talking about sandles!

Was wondering about that...




ubblol Didn't even cross my mind that it could be interpreted that way...
Note to self: colloquialism= BAD!


Nutella Brigade Unite!

"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge

Owned By Steaks

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wonderloey
wonderloey

enthusiast
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
Member Since: 21st Feb 2006
Total posts: 255
Posted:I've got to say, I'm sick of people asking if I'm gay...

I am gay, but hell, what's that got to do with it? I don't assume people are gay or straight, I wait for it to become apparent.. If that's after I've made a fool of myself, so be it..

At least I gave it a shot, right? tongue


"You've gone from Loey the Wonder Lesbian to everyone wondering if you are a lesbian." - Shadowman

Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.

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pineapple pete
pineapple pete

water based
Location: melbourne
Member Since: 20th Sep 2004
Total posts: 5125
Posted:i think its entertaining. someone asked me the other day, so i reply 'no, why? are you?' then sat a little closer to them... they left.

"you know there are no trophys for doing silly things in real life yeah pete?" said ant "you wont get a 'listened to ride of the valkyries all the way to vietnam' trophy"

*proud owner of the very cute fire_spinning_angel, birgit and neon shaolin*

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Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:Its all Oscar Wilde and Fred Astaire's fault

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Ange_GSC
Ange_GSC

HOP's glowstick ambassador!!
Location: Bay Area, California
Member Since: 16th Aug 2005
Total posts: 128
Posted:Ugh, this thread is the story of my life. People assume Im gay because I like dancing, acting and singing.......mainly because I was the only guy in almost every dance class, acting workshop, or choir I've ever been in.

Great way of meeting nice girls actually.........but yeah it does get a pretty damn annoying after a while.


missegyptology: "I just remember beingall off balance and unicycling really fast down to campus and the arabic was all blurred on the page"

^When Linz pulls an all nighter before Arabic class^

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Dammit Lumiere... Such a pretty boy too...

It gets pretty annoying people assuming you're str8 as well...

Pet peeve is when people say 'such a waste' when they find that someone whom they deem attractive is gay/lesbian. A waste of what?!


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:Written by: pineapple pete

i think its entertaining. someone asked me the other day, so i reply 'no, why? are you?' then sat a little closer to them... they left.



Neh. Petey, you're too cute to be gay. wink


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Written by: Doc Lightning

Neh. Petey, you're too cute to be gay. wink



Does this mean I'm an ugly [censored]?


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Noddy
Noddy

Toe Poking Bad Boy
Location: Lake District UK
Member Since: 25th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2865
Posted:Written by: Neon Shaolin

Mmmmmm Cumbrian sausage....

And gravy...



im from cumbria!

no argument! ubblol


Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!

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alien_oddity
alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees
Member Since: 31st Dec 2004
Total posts: 7193
Posted:I was supposed to be getting a lift to a rave the other weekend, i ended up in diss (norfolk UK) with a bunch of 17-18 year olds in a nice old farm house. we ended up getting VERY drunk............................a few days later the girl that invited me asked if i was gay eek


after much discussion i figured out the reason she thought this was because i didn't hit on her (try to get in her knickers) ubblol

i'm sorry but it's not something i aim to do when i barely know someone hehe and being 17/18 i'm like 7 years older...........that and her mum was at home and i had to lie i was only 20 ubblol


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Noddy
Noddy

Toe Poking Bad Boy
Location: Lake District UK
Member Since: 25th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2865
Posted:ubblol partying with the young'uns



asked if i was gay a few times by a few lasses cos i 'had to taste in styles'



yeah right! so that makes me gay?


Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!

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alien_oddity
alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees
Member Since: 31st Dec 2004
Total posts: 7193
Posted:tell me about it nod................so i'm gay because i don't try to pull some girl i just met even though she's still in 6th form ubblol

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Noddy
Noddy

Toe Poking Bad Boy
Location: Lake District UK
Member Since: 25th Jul 2004
Total posts: 2865
Posted:ok 6th form is like year below for me but i know what you mean year 11's are like 'ooo i want you' but its like sorry lass your a bit too young for me

Remember.........YOU LOSE!!!

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Patriarch917
Patriarch917

I make my own people.
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Member Since: 2nd Oct 2005
Total posts: 607
Posted:
Non-Https Image Link


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TKOF
TKOF

member
Location: cumbria ENGLANG
Member Since: 12th Sep 2003
Total posts: 44
Posted:Written by: Noddy

ok 6th form is like year below for me but i know what you mean year 11's are like 'ooo i want you' but its like sorry lass your a bit too young for me



are you having a fu.c king laugh noddy how can you tell lies to people someone who is 16 is to young for you????
not less than 6 months ago you were hiting on a 14 year old girl not only that you were trying to justify to me why it was ok for you to go out with someone who is 14!!!!

and what about glasto??? 15y ring any bells get a life

and start telling the truth!!!!!


the end is nigh and now comence the time of the retarded badger

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Dut
lurker
Location: Nashville, TN
Member Since: 22nd Mar 2002
Total posts: 380
Posted:yeah. i've been asked this a few times jokingly (i think), and have been told by nearly every close female friend that even if i claim not to be gay, i'm certainly not straight. lol. and yeah, i think it's 100% about aggressiveness vs. naievity. i've seriously told girls "i'm enjoying kissing you, but don't think i want to date you or even sleep with you tonight -- it's just the easiest way to convince girls that i like them alot as a person and I'm not gay... that and it's fun." the ones i've not made out with even though i thought they needed it emotionally, things have always gone bad/weird with. if a girl asks you if you're gay tho, and it's not in front of a crowd of people for them to laugh at, it's probably a passive-aggressive pick-up line on her part. just take one for the team and make out with her. biggrin

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alicewonderland
alicewonderland

Born on a green light daddy-o!!!
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Member Since: 25th Nov 2005
Total posts: 126
Posted:Just wanted to jump on the band wagon lol, I think it is very rude to ask people their sexuality preferences, honestly does it matter enough to ask someone... You have to be pretty self absorbed too after being turned down to ask someone if their gay... soapbox...**steps down from soapbox and passes the mic** thanks for letting me join the rant biggrin

When you're already walking on thin ice...why not dance?

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Drudwyn
Drudwyn

Forget puppy power, Scrappy's just gay
Location: Southampton Uni
Member Since: 27th Aug 2005
Total posts: 632
Posted:People just assume I'm straight. Anyone wanna swap?

Spin, bounce, be one with the world, because it is yours to enjoy...

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Nephtys
Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Member Since: 3rd Oct 2002
Total posts: 835
Posted:Written by: alicewonderland

Just wanted to jump on the band wagon lol, I think it is very rude to ask people their sexuality preferences, honestly does it matter enough to ask someone... You have to be pretty self absorbed too after being turned down to ask someone if their gay... soapbox...**steps down from soapbox and passes the mic** thanks for letting me join the rant biggrin



Depends why they're asking... if they want to know whether they have a chance it's flattering!


everyone's unique except me

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Fine_Rabid_Dog
Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 10530
Posted:Its hardly rude to enquire about sexual preference. Its like asking what your shoe size is. ubbangel

wink

Seriously though, its not that rude. Its like Nephtys says... unless of course some says \"wanna go out?\" \"No\" \"Are you gay!?\"... I guess then its rude. Otherwise I reckon its fair game.


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Charles
Charles

Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland
Member Since: 27th Jun 2001
Total posts: 3989
Posted:I agree. A genuine request abnout your orientation means that the people asking are genuinely interested in who you are and want to learn more.

Although, I must admit, most sexual orientation questions I've overhard tend to be derogatory, in the same way as askign someone if they are stupid, or braindamaged... eek


HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

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Mojojo
Mojojo

wandering dingo
Location: Aussie in London
Member Since: 3rd Mar 2005
Total posts: 167
Posted:hmmm, back to the original rant, maybe she thought you were gay because you didn't hit on her.

Only three things are certain: Death, Taxes, and that England will not win back the Ashes in this lifetime.

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wonderloey
wonderloey

enthusiast
Location: Melbourne - home of pirates
Member Since: 21st Feb 2006
Total posts: 255
Posted: Written by: Charles


I agree. A genuine request about your orientation means that the people asking are genuinely interested in who you are and want to learn more.



Even genuine questions about my orientation become boring after a while.. Because if you are going to ask someone about their hair/eye colour, you don't get asked really personal questions about your sex/family life, which tends to happen when talking about sexuality.

I don't mind discussing my personal life with the people that have earned the honour of that level of respect and trust, but people seem to expect it will be given to them.

My friends will tell ya, I'll say just about anything.. Just GET TO KNOW ME FIRST!!!

*end rant* biggrin


"You've gone from Loey the Wonder Lesbian to everyone wondering if you are a lesbian." - Shadowman

Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.

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Asena
Asena

What a Bummer
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire
Member Since: 22nd Aug 2005
Total posts: 3224
Posted: Written by: Charles


Although, I must admit, most sexual orientation questions I've overhard tend to be derogatory, in the same way as askign someone if they are stupid, or braindamaged... eek



I'm both gay and stupid... do I win a prize? smile

But like, I seem to come across as straight, and I only get annoyed if somone asks if I'm gay at myself for not being obvious enough. Although, I tell you what does bug me, is when people find out your gay, and then follow it up with "can I be ur friend?? I've never had a gay friend before!!". Suddenly I become a fashion accesorie (my spelling is all wrong today) AND THAT TICKS ME OFF!!! GRRRR! RAR! BLA!

*breathe*

Ah, anyone else get that or is it just me who suffers with that problem?

Oh and I really dont get offended if someone asks if I'm "a gay"... I'm proud of who I am smile


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