Forums > Social Chat > (Rant) Being asked "Are you gay?"

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Domino
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 757
Posted:Right....



Disclaimer - I'm a tad (ha) worse for drink than usual which has made me shorter of temperament than usual.



Tonight, not for the first time, I've been asked "Are you gay?" for being more eloquent/intelligent(?) than those around me.



I won't deny it, when I'm asked something like this or when I feel that someone's "predijouses" [[ I have no idea on the spelling of this - beliefs based on sterotypes]] merits it I will pretend to be more "gay" than I actually am.



But still, it makes me wonder. Are homosexual men (I can't really apply this to women) more elloquent that average? Or is that you women expect us heterosexual men to communicate in grunts and arm motions?



I'm not .. no, yes, I *am* offended, not because some one is questioning my sexuality but because someone is questioning my sexuality BECAUSE OF THE WORDING I CHOOSE TO USE.



So, as ineloquently as I can put this, with added arm motions, WHAT THE censored IS GOING ON? Why is it that when I use more syllables than expected or (heaven forbid,) logic my sexuality is in question?







Just to clarify, I have a girlie friend that I love dearly and, as far as I can tell, understands me (or is at least willing to listen and learn) so this is by no means a rant against the female race as a whole, just that section of it that I keep seeming to run into. Neither is this any kind of anti-homosexual thing. Maybe I'm a "Masculinist" but I object, just a tad, to this idea that heterosexual men are nothing but sperm donors/toys/objects of amusement that seems to be so prevalent in the (at least British) media these days.



Further disclaimer - Yes I'm angry. Yes I'm drunk. Apologies or further explanations may appear tomorrow.


Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.

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Fine_Rabid_Dog
Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...
Member Since: 26th May 2004
Total posts: 10530
Posted:I'd just be all "no".

Problem solved, yes?


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:yes!

i think a lot about being offended is in the mind of the offendee. unless it's somthing particularly harsh, you can normally get over it.

i make it my policy not to be offended unless absolutely necessary. smile


I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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{anthrax}
{anthrax}

Look I've changed my title!
Location: England
Member Since: 10th Aug 2004
Total posts: 209
Posted:lol my girlfriends mum leaned over to my girl the other day whilst drinking coffee in a restaurant. She said " you know what? I think Jonny's going to be gay".... well needless to say, when she told my I almost died of laughter ubbrollsmile

I think everyone I have ever met thinks I'm gay! Lol worst thing is, I have no idea why!

*confuzzled*


anthrax.... it infects, then spreads..... fast

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Asena
Asena

What a Bummer
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire
Member Since: 22nd Aug 2005
Total posts: 3224
Posted:ubblol you sure you dont wanna be gay? your mighty cute redface biggrin

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:I often get asked that too... Dunno why.

Actually I get more come on from girls and very scarcely by boys. Goddammit! Is there something that gay men find attractive in other men than what girls find attractive in men?!


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Baccory
Baccory

member
Location: Arana Hills, Brisbane, Queensl...
Member Since: 8th Feb 2006
Total posts: 126
Posted:Ahhh this brings back memories...i've been asked quite a few times...(i'm not) not cause i talk eloquently...i mean i can and sometimes do use big words...but cause i have a habbit of either not hitting on *insert synonim for females here*



brw what does one call a female of the 16 to 21 bracket? chick is too derogitory, lady/woman too old, girl too young...is there any word that'd suit?



An example was I the only guy at an ex's pool party...surrounded by barely dressed females and was asked if i was gay cause i didn't make a pass at any of them...obviously me just being a gentleman and being decent enough to not hit on an ex's friend never crossed her mind...



Its either that or cause flirt with guys as much and as seriously as i do flirting with girls (ie alot and not at all) so i end up flirting with anything (even a wall) just as a joke...



Seriously i think defining this sorta thing...y bother? Does it matter? ones orientation really does not matter untill...well you all know when it matters so y do ppl feel the need to ask unless they have to know for sure cause they're interested...i mean asking if someone your interested in if they're of a compatable orientation is fine and fair...but otherwise...who cares?


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Patriarch917
Patriarch917

I make my own people.
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Member Since: 2nd Oct 2005
Total posts: 607
Posted:Written by: Baccory

brw what does one call a female of the 16 to 21 bracket? chick is too derogitory, lady/woman too old, girl too young...is there any word that'd suit?




Last I heard, the most socially acceptable terms here in America were "broads" and "dames." But of course, I spend most of my day sitting in my cabin in the woods with my shotgun in my lap watching old Humphrey Boghart movies and drinking Jack Daniels.


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Sethis
Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University
Member Since: 16th May 2005
Total posts: 1762
Posted:ubblol ubblol ubblol

I generally say "Lasses" when talking about girls over 14 and under 35. But I'm not scottish... It's a nice non-offensive word that can be used instead of "females".

I think the suggestion that we wear badges to indicate our sexuality was a good one. Would lead to less embarassing attempts to chat people up, for one thing. You could be like "92% Straight" or "64% Gay" or somesuch. biggrin


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:madam will do fine thank you.

I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Does the cabin have a power supply or do you watch the Humphrey Bogart movies on a battery operated portable DVD player? smile

"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Tao Star
Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 30th May 2003
Total posts: 1662
Posted:Written by: Sethis

I think the suggestion that we wear badges to indicate our sexuality was a good one. Would lead to less embarassing attempts to chat people up, for one thing. You could be like "92% Straight" or "64% Gay" or somesuch. biggrin



although it would take away the excuse of 'i'm a lesbian' when you really need to get rid of someone.... biggrin


I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:Oooh, like a color-coded badge with a red side and a blue side to indicate your straightness or gayness?

So mine would be, say...95% red.

(or pink?)


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Asena
Asena

What a Bummer
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire
Member Since: 22nd Aug 2005
Total posts: 3224
Posted:I'm 73% gay according to a gay test... although I thought I was much more than that...
Gay test


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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:'40% You may act strraight mate, but I'd bet your mother always knew you'd grow up to be gay'



Maybe I should've shown the test this photo. See what they'd think then!

http://www.monster-monster.co.uk/gallery...0-%20Cyberpunks
br>




Wow, shall I smoke my pack of Marlboro Reds now?


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Igirisujin
Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston
Member Since: 10th Jul 2005
Total posts: 2666
Posted:I got 50 percent, im a happy and well adjusted homo guy. I mhappy with that result alltho I did tick I pluck my eyebrows, I thought I might be abit more :P



Oooh dont forget to watch The Truth about Gay Sex, Monday 15th April on channel 4...according to the channel 4 website


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Asena
Asena

What a Bummer
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire
Member Since: 22nd Aug 2005
Total posts: 3224
Posted:So you dont ACTUALLY pluck your eyebrows? You lied on a test! CHEAT! WANNABE GAY! tongue

I have to pluck mine... or i turn into a werewolf... sad but tru frown


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{anthrax}
{anthrax}

Look I've changed my title!
Location: England
Member Since: 10th Aug 2004
Total posts: 209
Posted:I pluck my eyebrows... i thought this was normal behaviour :/

anthrax.... it infects, then spreads..... fast

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jeff(fake)
jeff(fake)

Scientist of Fortune
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 15th Apr 2005
Total posts: 1189
Posted:I'm as camp as a fairy sometimes so I'm not bothered or surprised about people thinking I'm gay.



Edit: Look left - that's really my face. Frankly I'm surprised I'm not gay.

EDITED_BY: jeff(fake) (1141065909)


According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Dynamics, we may already be making love right now...

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ducky2108
ducky2108

A little bit of a board whore
Location: Glasgow
Member Since: 18th Dec 2005
Total posts: 147
Posted:What the hell does it matter if someone thinks you're gay or not. Unless it's a woman you really want to sleep with, then you lose absolutely nothing. Everybody I meet assumes I'm straight, but they never get shocked when I talk about my boyfriend.

And remember, as a friend of mine once said (in a moment of genius), "Being straight isn't normal. It's common"


Ancient wiseman say "It is very strange person, who, when left alone in room with teacosy, does not try it on"

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Because ducky there is a fine line that alot of gay men constantly straddle between being noticeably gay enough for a potential mate to seek you out to issues of how camp/butch you are (emphasis on this depends entirely on the individual).

If a straight man is perceived to be gay then it'll kinda ruin his chances with the ladies who will grow to see them in a gay mate/brother way and turn away a few disappointed men. Same for the gay man who if he is perceived to be straight then he might have to turn away lots of disappointed ladies whilst being ignored by other gay men who believe the guy is str8 and therefore out of bounds. No one wants to be alone or hurt someone due to these assumptions. Ideally these assumptiosn wouldn't exist but they do. It's how everyone deals with it that may differ.


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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FireTom
Stargazer

Member Since: 20th Sep 2003
Total posts: 6650
Posted:What's the problem in being asked your sexual orientation? umm

But I understand: If being eloquent gives you an advantage, you should cultivate it. If being male and eloquent makes you gay, you should change or at least question your social environment... ubblol


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Ry
Ry

Gromit's Humble Squire
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Member Since: 2nd Feb 2005
Total posts: 4496
Posted:Once ages ago I went to a club deemed quite popular with the gay crowd (because it played good house/garage and that's what a mate and I were feeling like that night).. after a while of sitting with our drinks and having a good chat, someone from management came up to us and gave us a couple of membership forms to fill out. Was good for 25% off drinks, no cover charge ever (the cover was usually around $18), plus the ability to sign in a guest! Apparently we were also mistaken for partners (two guys in a gay bar.. 1 and 1 obviously makes 11 ubblol). Took comfort in the fact that later that night, the real looker of a girl I had been watching on the dancefloor approached me (with her bloke mate), "So what we really want to know is, are you gay or straight? We want to know which of us stands a chance.." Gee.. talk about something that throws you. Must say it was a bit of an ego booster too. In that scenario, I obviously didn't really mind being asked ubblol.. And to top it off, her queer mate kept insisting on buying the drinks (long island teas for everyone ubbrollsmile)!! Bisexuals must be the happiest people.. remind me to remind my imaginary girlfriend wink.



Ah memories. But yes. umm. *grunts in a masculine way & motions arms* ubbangel


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Doc Lightning
Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Member Since: 28th May 2001
Total posts: 13920
Posted:43% here.

So apparently I'm straight...

Except I like dic...er...schlon...er...ween...um... footinmouth

sausage! ubbidea


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Mmmmmm Cumbrian sausage....

And gravy...


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Sporky
Sporky

addict
Location: Glasgow
Member Since: 25th Jul 2005
Total posts: 663
Posted:ubblol

Ry: I had that happen to me once. I simply said bi and had them both trying to chat me up for the rest of the night biggrin Not that I wouldn't have slept with either of them given half a chance wink


Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't

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Neon_Shaolin
Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam
Member Since: 13th Jul 2005
Total posts: 6120
Posted:Though one time I did snog both members of an engaged couple... She snogged me first and insisted I snogged him too! Though this wasn't the first time anything happened between us. The year before I managed to snog about 9 people (5 girls 4 boys) in one night. I wasn't being a slag, the night just turned into a free for all. The couple were part of the 9 but I didn't know they were a couple then!

"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Sporky
Sporky

addict
Location: Glasgow
Member Since: 25th Jul 2005
Total posts: 663
Posted:I bet that was interesting for their marrige councellor tongue

Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't

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Sethis
Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University
Member Since: 16th May 2005
Total posts: 1762
Posted:I'm Cumbrian!

But also rather straight... umm... so sorry Doc!! ubblol ubblol ubbangel


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Delete

jeffhigh
Member
Location: Caves Beach, NSW
Member Since: 15th Oct 2005
Total posts: 89
Posted:Apparently here in Newcastle (Australia) many years ago the identifier was to wear yellow socks if you were gay.
But that was back in the days when it was an illegal and covert activity.
They had a yellow sock day a few years ago to commemorate those days.
Jeff
straight but not afraid to hug a bloke


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coleman
coleman

big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay
Member Since: 29th Aug 2002
Total posts: 7330
Posted:Written by: Doc Lightning

Except I like dic...er...schlon...er...ween...um... footinmouth



man, that smiley made me do a double take! wink


cole. x


"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

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