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Forums > Social Chat > How do I deal with this?

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Sporky


Sporky

addict
Location: Glasgow

Total posts: 663
Posted:Those of you who know me will know that I'm a pretty laid back guy but right now I'm at my wits end and I need help.

Here's the story. I went out with a girl a few months ago and she broke up with me for several reasons (most of them completely daft) and we remained friends for a while but about two months ago I told her that I liked another girl and we've stopped talking. This in its self isn't too bad but the past few hours have tested my sanity to the limits.

I'm a big fan of Lost and one of her friends is too and as I have family in America I can get season 2 from iTunes even though it hasn't been shown in the UK yet. So, her friend asks me if I can burn her a copy of all 14 episodes that I have so that she can watch them. Now, being a pretty nice guy I do it but put a password on the discs because to play the videos on another computer I have to give them my iTunes account information and I make the friend promise not to use the information for anything other than playing the movies.

The next day my ex phones me and demands that I give her the password for the discs so that she can watch them even though she hasn't asked her friend if she can borrow them. The way she asked (and the fact that this is the first contact I've had for two months) made me say no and hang up. I leave the house for a doctors appointment (ironically I'm going deaf) and come back an hour later to find her sitting in my livingroom with the discs ready to give me an earfull. She then procedes to shout at me for twenty minutes about how this was a betrayal and how hurt she is about all of this and how its my fault etc etc and then leaves.

Was I in the wrong at all? I'm seriously confused by this and need some objective help on it.


Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops

Total posts: 4525
Posted:I really don't think you're in the wrong whatsoever.
It really sounds like you don't owe her anything and she's being a bit of a silly bint.
She dumped you. She has absolutely no hold over you whatsoever. Tell her to go F**k herself!! Sorry to be harsh, but I get so annoyed about women screwing with other people's heads and lives!!


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Sethis
BRONZE Member since May 2005

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University

Total posts: 1762
Posted:Anyone demanding anything of you at all probably needs a flat rejection, regardless.

You're doing the right thing. Don't let her do anything else to interfere, and just ignore her, she'll go away with any luck. smile

But, as always, there are so many things we can't know about the situation it's a little difficult to give advice...


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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Narr


Narr

(*) (*) .. for the gnor ;)
Location: sitting on the step

Total posts: 2568
Posted:ditto (to jo smile)

... weird but i was thinking exactally the same thing .. some women can be very odd, so dont worry about it, she'll get over it.





...or burn your house down..one of the two ..maybe something in the middle if you are lucky wink


she who sees from up high smiles

Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Your ex-girlfriend sounds like a nut.



I love Lost, but I mean...



It's none of her damn business what you do. Just because she's borrowed (nicked) something and is annoyed she can't use it, that's not your fault. and it's not up to your mate to give her your account information, is it? Obviously that's fairly private for obvious reasons.



I think your ex is being an idiot, and regardless of what it does to your relationship as friends, her telling you you've "betrayed" her is extremely rich considering she dumped you, then stopped talking to you, and now she wants something from you she's in your face about not giving it to her...



Grr. Jo is right, tell her to [censored] herself if she wants to treat you like that. Sorry for the rant but I've been in situations like this myself and have ended up making a real dick of myself. Just tell her to [censored] off from me wink.


What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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faith enfire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin

Total posts: 3556
Posted:i think i would ask her why she is so upset

Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:to quote goldie lookin' chain.................." oh sun, your (now ex)missus is a nutter"

she sounds really demanding, pretentious and just bloody rude!!!!


one thing bothers me...........how did she get into your flat/house?


don't let her grind you down mate, i assume you only stayed friends A) because your so laid back B) you wanted to keep the peace

to me it sounds like she's using you, you don't hear anything for 2 months but as soon as you have something she wants she's straight on the phone. let her throw her hissy fits as much as she likes then you'll see her in her true colours, just don't cave in to her.

hug


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Sporky


Sporky

addict
Location: Glasgow

Total posts: 663
Posted:Written by: ravehead

one thing bothers me...........how did she get into your flat/house?

don't let her grind you down mate, i assume you only stayed friends A) because your so laid back B) you wanted to keep the peace

hug



Thanks everyone. Thats pretty much true.

I have no idea how the hell she got in my flat. My housemate was away so she couldn't have been let in. I have one idea though. We have a cat flap so she might have used that to open the back door but even then thats pushing it a little and I doubt she has a key to the house.

I just got back from an open mic night and had a girl who I've been talking to a lot recently ask if I was a violent person as I'm supposed to have hit her (my ex) during the argument. I'm sorry but to me this is the last straw. I'm going to track my ex down tomorrow and ask her what the hell is going on. I can be scary when angry (probably because it happens so rarely) but never -ever- violent. Right now i'm really upset by this whole thing and just want it all sorted before it really gets out of hand.

Thanks again to everyone and I'm sorry for troubling you all with this. ubbcrying


Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't

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nearly_all_gone
SILVER Member since Aug 2004

nearly_all_gone

Pooh-Bah
Location: Southampton

Total posts: 1626
Posted:Hey, if she's accusing you of hitting her when you haven't, stay well away. Tell her to leave you alone man, she's obviously out for trouble. [censored] her.

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

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Gayle......!
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol !!!!!!

Total posts: 2444
Posted:I'd say just leave her to get on with it.

I just can't believe she broke into your house. I'd advise to stay away from people like this as they only cause trouble. Make a note of the times of the phonecall and the details and also the time you found her in the house and the details of what went on. Any other harrassment from her do the same thing. That way if anything does happen you will have a record.

Ignore silly rumours and respond to questions about them pleasently and honestly.


Gayle.....!

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:If she got into your house without damaging anything (smashing windows/breaking/popping locks) and you are sure she doesn't have a key I would report it to the police. She did after all enter your house somehow uninvited and if she can do it anyone else can. It implies your house isn't very secure.

You need to find out how she entered the house. If she does have a key it's time to get the locks changed.


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Tell your flatmate not to let her in under any circumstances, just in case.
Get the locks changed no matter if you know whether she has a key or not. Just in case.
Also get one of those automated cat flaps that work with just your cat's collar. Just in case.
And make sure all windows are shut before you leave your home! Just in case!

You could show up at her flat when she's out and see how she likes it lol

Seriously though, have a word with her and warn her to stay away. Mention the word "police" too. Some women can be total psycho's. I should know - I am one! And I was stalked by another girl. It even got dragged onto these boards a few weeks ago!

Good luck dude!

Dude, us HoP devotees are always here to lend a hand or listen to people's troubles.


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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TheEtherbunny


newbie


Total posts: 11
Posted:I would avoid the woman like the black death. I would not return calls, answer calls, change the locks, and be thankful that you missed out on having a longer relationship with a demanding and confrontational woman.

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Tao Star


Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 1662
Posted:Written by: Narr


... weird but i was thinking exactally the same thing .. some women can be very odd, so dont worry about it, she'll get over it.





NOOOOOOO! if women are being odd, you know, it's probably for a reason. i think you'd agree it's not the behaviour of a rational person so there's something wrong. no one gets that upset over a video. maybe she thought you were deliberately doing favours for her frined & not her, maybe she feels left out, or rejected.

people don't act oddly for no reason. ok, she's behaving unacceptably, but if you want to make things better you could try to find out.

or you could do what others said and ignore her, but if you want to be friends (maybe you do;t, i don't know) then i'd have a bit of chat with ere cos something's up.


I had a dream that my friend had a
strong-bad pop up book,
it was the book of my dreams.

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Sporky


Sporky

addict
Location: Glasgow

Total posts: 663
Posted:I have had a chat with her and she blamed her behaviour on everything from PMT to my cat attacking her as she came into the house so it got nowhere. I'm just going to give her a lot of space for a while and see what happens.

Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't

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slipping tongue


slipping tongue

newbie
Location: Hamilton

Total posts: 22
Posted:i think she is nuts and u need to thankful u are no longer in a relationship with her. id change the locks and ignore her people like that are not worth keeping around. i had problems with my ex after decided it was time to move on and find someone else, he dumped me and we decided to stay friends but i decided i liked this guy (we had been broken up for about 6 months and it was time to move on) and my ex got all stroppy and acted like i was cheating on him, a couple of days after his mood flared up he started sending my sister txt messages saying things like he liked her more than me and if she was old enough he would have gone for her over me.
ur ex sounds to me to be sour and regretting dumping you and is worried u might have feelings for her friend, but trust me u dont need the in ur life its best to make a clean start without her.


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Sporky


Sporky

addict
Location: Glasgow

Total posts: 663
Posted:Yeah. I've decided to move house back to Glasgow so I think that might also have something to do with it but she doesn't know about that yet.

Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't

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