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Forums > Social Discussion > Being brave.... eating disorders

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Oct 2004

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:ok so its taken me so long to get round to writing this but things happened this week that gave me an extra push. For all the time i have been on HOP you guys have been some of the most supportive people i have had the pleasure to meet. I have been reluctant to post things so many times due to past events as i don't want to come across in the wrong way. i know we have some very knowledgable people on the boards and i am guessing i am asking for help/advice/support.

As some of you may know i have BPD
so i have many things going on right now including DBT

well it seems that i am rather poorly, apparently i am suffering from malnutrition, which would explain alot. apparently if you don't eat right for months on end this type of thing happens. i can not afford to buy all the fresh fruit and veg i need (the kids are being fed healthy though after all they come first with every) it also seems i have an eating disorder, its taking alot for me to write this but i am petrified about getting fat again, despite being around a size 8 i am still convinced i am far too fat.i know logicaly this can not be the case but you try telling my brain that. so at the minute i have 0 energy, ulsers on my tongue, my glands are up and i am just uber tired. Yesterday is what did it though, i had chest pains, pins and needles, out of breath,not being able to move much for about 2 hours. scared the shite out of me so i went to bed (No i didn't go to the docs for many reasons fear being the main one) I have no idea what i am going to do. its not as easy as just startng to eat neither is asking for help off someone. as all i get is "Well you know you have to eat" on the plus side i could get scurvey so i could be true pirate...ok so misplaced jokes but they are needed.
so today after much bullying from a friend i went to see the doc. i am suffering malnutrition and have a mouth and throat full of ulcers, i have been put on antibiotics and when i told the doc that i have finaly come to terms with the fact i do have an eating disorder she just told me to eat. If only it was that easy, i told my cpn and all she said was "Well you have to start eating" i know this but the thought makes me want to vomit, i sat there this morning looking at the food i had been cooked and just couldn't eat it. (Solids dont go down too well either with ulcers) i know i need to stop this cycle now before it gets too far and i guess thats why i am writing this. as i said my kids must come first but its going to them no good if i am not fit enough to look after them, it has not got to that stage and i do have some support at home from friends, and well i seem to of lost/forgot the point of this post so i am just going to click continue

hug hug


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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Str8Jakit


Str8Jakit

Dealing in Perception & Probability
Location: On the edge of sunrise and sun...

Total posts: 135
Posted:congradulations hun. you have made the first step. hughughughughughughughughug i wish i was a doctor so i could give you "porfesional advice" but i'm not. but you now you have all the support i can give you from accross the atlantic. and you know i'm always on AIM if you need me wink

Legal and illegal are a point of view. All that matters is morality.

If there's a shadow in your life, then there is also sunshine. Perception is everything.

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Chickpea
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Chickpea

mostly a muppet in need of distraction...
Location: bristol

Total posts: 305
Posted:check your pms my love.x

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:hug

Congrats on taking the first step.
Many hugs for the long journey.
And don't forget to smile when you can.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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_Stix_


_Stix_

Pooh-Bah
Location: la-la land

Total posts: 2419
Posted:aww hunny.. I had a really bad food thing a few years ago.. It took a while for me to face it.. although I think mine was slightly different as mine was drug related paranoia.. I couldn't eat in front of people and threw up in restaurants..

I guess the only advise I might be able to offer is very mush 'short term' if you can't eat the cooked food that 's been made for you.. opt for stuff like banana and apple juice smooties.. (or any other fruit - you can either get a blender or a juicer) banana's are SO good for your body.. and you can always substitue the apple juice for milk.. I can't tollerate too much milk so that's why I have AJ.. smile

best part of all is that you are not 'eating'.. but mearly 'drinking' but still getting good nutrients.. it should help heal the ulcers, which I can understand make the thought of eating solids unbearable.. I only get the odd one and it's hell.. as soon as you get your body on a better keel then you might be able to handle the rest of it better..

I worry tho.. if you are unable to afford to feed yourself.. is there not some sort of assistance you can get? It's not fair on yourself to feed your children the best you can afford and leave nothing for yourself.. kiddies need a happy and healthy mummy!

I wish you the best of luck in changing things.. I was a size 6/8.. always thought I was too fat back then.. now I'm a size 10 on top and a 12 on the bottom.. I can personally tell you from experience that even tho it is scarey to look at your self in the mirror when you decide to take the plunge..BUT I *see* no difference apart from a *healthy* smile now..


I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops

Total posts: 4525
Posted:Miss Frogette, not only are you the most gorgeous frogette but you are the most kickass.
I had no idea you were going through all this stuff! Sorry about the BPD, it's a git and as you know probably tries to sabotage your life!spank

and I can assume i can talk for everyone else when i say you are not fat! you can put on 2 stone and you still wouldnt be fat! if it makes you feel any better i'm 10stone 8 and i'm one sexy little number! tongue
How about only eating something really small? like a cracker and an apple? and then try to eat something else? my friend has set certain times of day where she makes herself eat a little something. Say if you have a small bite to eat every 2 hours? and make sure you do. smile you can do it girly. you're awesome i love you!! ubblove hug hug ubblove hug


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Hey, eating disorders can be... interesting. I've had an on and off one related to money concerns (again not buying a wide enough variety to be healthy, due to very restricted budget, and then not wanting to eat food because then I have to buy more....).. and also due to some sort of weird psychological dependancy problem (thats harder to explain) ...plus a general dislike of cooking and fear of hot oil/frying pans.





Random enough reasons. Since getting myself into a better mental situation, I've found I'm a lot more able to cook for myself (almost once a week, and I make sandwhiches and stuff when there are no leftovers) and I've also been more careful about buying stuff thats user friendly (sliced cheese, because I live in NYC... sliced bread, veggies that don't need cooking to be edible). I'm not sure what will be the case when I start dating again, (thats where the problems were before!) but thats not a bridge I have to cross for a bit.

Unfortnatly the money stuff is still causing me some problems, right now I'm trying to fight it by saying I have to make feeding myself a priority (I'm saving money to afford university, so I'm within my means physical at the *moment*). So far its working in a getting food into me within a day or so sense, but taking some mental toll.

I have found that carefully picked out produce/rice/potatoes/pasta is in fact some of the cheapest food you can find, I found this true in northern england as well, altho admitedly produce is more expensive there than in america! (Altho cheese and eggs were cheaper). But you can usually come up with ways to make cheap healthy diets with some planning... altho i appreciate you might not be up to doing such things at the moment, maybe someone could help you?
Hrmmm, unsure if any of this is the slightest bit useful....


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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MiG
GOLD Member since Apr 2004

MiG

Self-Flagellation Expert
Location: Bogged at CG

Total posts: 3415
Posted:What about growing your own veggies? I've just got a tomato plant, and while it's not done anything yet, fingers crossed i'll have some almost free fruit soon. If you planted, say, a couple of potatoes, some tomatoes and a few carrots, a bit of lettuce, you'd have a salad all the time smile

And then, if you go one step further and get chooks, they can eat all the leftovery bits from aforementioned salads, and give you eggs.

*puts some straw in mouth and starts talking really slowly about pigs*


"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA

"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast

Total posts: 5967
Posted:hug

Goth lady... you are a very strong, beautiful woman.

You've dealt with so much, but you still find the strength to carry on - and the common sense to ask for help when needed.

Now, asking for help is all good, but you have to listen to the advice too.

Your friends don't look at your past, neither do we see what you look like (ermm, ok, we see, but well... bah, you know what I mean smile You are stunning, if a little too thin for my liking tongue)... all we care about is that you are happy, healthy and in a good place.

Your body is telling you that it needs fuel. You HAVE to try to eat - maybe even learn to eat again properly, which may take a while... but you have to do it. None of us can be there to help you, unfortunately.

How about some soup? Potatoes and leeks are very cheap, and when you cook them, then blend them, are really tasty. It's a good starter. Then maybe another day have some bread and soup. Then another day, maybe a sandwich...

But most of all... try not to be scared. You will get through this. Take a deep breath and be strict with yourself.


And remember... we luv you lots!!

hug


Getting to the other side smile

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Psycho_lemming
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

Psycho_lemming

Running hippy spinning lemming
Location: Scotland

Total posts: 15
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug

wow... well done on being so brave...

i'm glad you ended up going to see your dr <hugs>
but i'm sorry you got the response "well you have to start eating"... <hugs>

hopefully HOP can be a place of support for you...
we are here for you, hug

you have to be strong, for yourself, and for your kids,
i am worried, eating disorders can take over your life and ultimately can result in death frown but you're coming to terms with the idea, so you can change this and start towards recovery...

no one can force you to eat, you have to decide to fight this for yourself... maybe start with a food you consider 'safe' - something low calorie and then try to build it up...

remember you are not really 'fat' at all... its the voice in your head telling you

i'll try to post some things which might help (not written by me)

Distract yourself..

At times Anorexic thoughts can become extremely loud in your head and can be very overwhelming. It is important to have some emergency techinques to help gain some control over them at such times.


Parcel up the thought or image

Imagine wrapping up the thought (or image) in packaging that keeps it secure. It may be that it needs a very strong container to do this.
Imagine placing the packaging somewhere that feels right for you. It may be that you need to put it a long way away like imagine dropping it in the bottom on the ocean, or you may feel happier to let it float like a balloon on the end of a string and pay attention to it later on in the day.

Exercises for the brain

Any mental activity that uses energy and effort can help take your mind away from anorexia. Here are a few ideas I thought of that may help you

> Solving puzzles
> Reciting words from songs
> counting backwards from 100 in 3's
> Going though the months of the year in reverse order
> Imagine what you would do if you won 100,000 pounds!
> Making up an imaginary story about the people and things you can see.

Listen to music.

Many people like me have a song or piece of music that brings back happy memories or a holiday for example. It may help too listen too this when you are struggling. It also may help to carry a Walkman around so you can control the volume.

A Survival message to yourself.

I thought this might help, it does me. Write yourself a message that will help you at a really diffcult times it maybe a poem, words from a song or a reminder of a good piece of advice. Keep it with you and learn if off by heart.


Reminding yourself why NOT to give into Anorexia..

> the problem isn't food calories and weight, it's about your feelings. Giving into Anorexia may put the problems in a deep freeze but will NOT help you to solve them
>Anorexia will never be satisfied no matter what your weight
> The more you give into the Anorexic voice the weaker you become to do the battle.

Last of all...

Anorexia makes you judge the sucess of your day on how much you eaten, how much you've managed to decieve others, the number on the scales... Is this the way you really want too treat the sucess of your day?


---------------------------------------

THE HUNGER SCALE

The hunger scale is a helpful tool for everyone. For someone in the depths of an eating disorder, it will probably seem ridiculous at first. We all know how we should be eating, but having the knowledge doesnt make it so. Thats why its not just about the numbers but also about some other helpful practices that make it work.
What is the hunger scale? The hunger scale is a scale that goes from 0 to 10 and measures the level of your hunger/fullness.

At 0, you are empty. You probably havent eaten in quite some time (7+ hours). You might be feeling nauseous, dizzy, or light-headed. You might have trouble concentrating. Your metabolism is slowing down to conserve energy. These are all signs that your body is begging for food.

At 1, you are ravenous. All you can think about is how hungry you are. You are consumed with ideas about what you want to eat. Because youre so hungry, once you do eat, its likely that you will over-eat to compensate.

At 2, you are over-hungry. Youve been thinking about food for a while now. You are probably irritable. Your stomach might be aching by now.

At 3, you are having hunger pangs. Its time to eat. Your body is giving you the natural signals that it needs food. You start to salivate when you think of something that tastes good, and your stomach might be growling.

At 4, your hunger is just starting to awaken. Eating isnt your biggest priority, but youre planning to do it in the next hour or two.

At 5, you are neutral. You arent really hungry but you might have a light snack if someone offers you something.

At 6, you are just satisfied. You arent hungry anymore, but probably will be again fairly soon.

At 7, you are completely satisfied. You got your fill of the food you wanted. You are no longer hungry and you probably wont need to eat again for 3-5 hours.

At 8, you are full. You had just a couple bites too many. You might feel a bit bloated like you need to undo the top button of your pants..

At 9, you are stuffed. Your eating experience has surpassed pleasure and is now just uncomfortable.

At 10, you are sick. You feel terrible. You are likely to throw up or need to lay down until you feel better.

Ideally, a person begins eating at a 3 and ends eating between a 6 and 7. Even once youve mastered the hunger scale will you constantly eat between 3 and 7? No way. There are all kinds of other factors that might effect your eating. Sometimes a hectic schedule causes you to go without food longer than youd like. Sometimes you take a snack even when you arent hungry just to be polite. Sometimes you eat a little beyond your comfort level of a certain food because you rarely get to have it. These are all okay things and you should NEVER criticize yourself for them. Instead, just be mindful of how far youve gone below or above your ideal hunger level.

A great way to begin utilizing the hunger scale is to keep a Hunger Journal. No this is NOT a food diary. In fact, I dont even want you to write down what youve eaten. And if you feel hesitant about committing to keep a journal ongoing, then just start with one day, 4 days, or a week at a time. Ive attached a worksheet that you can use for your Hunger Journal. You can print it out and make copies or print out several. And you might want to save it to your computer (by right-clicking on it and selecting Save Picture As) for future use. You can also make your own with the same categories. For your Hunger Journal you will document every time you eat. That doesnt mean you have to carry the piece of paper with you to school or out with friends. You can take something smaller to take notes on and fill in your journal when you get home. Or you can try to remember it all and write it down when you get a chance. The first category you fill in is the time. This is helpful to find out how spaced apart your meals/snacks are and therefore why you might be more/less hungry. Next is the place youre eating. I found that Im more likely to binge if Im in the living room or bedroom in front of the tv, but not as much if Im in the dining room. Next is the trigger for your eating or the feelings youre having. You might find a pattern that every time your mother criticizes you you binge afterward. Or every time you feel lonely you eat until youre sick. Sometimes you might want to write down your feelings if youre trying particularly hard not to eat. There might be a pattern there as well, like every time you come home from a bad day at school you restrict until the next morning. Next is your hunger level before eating and your hunger level after eating. And if your restricting then write down your hunger level at the time of restriction along with your feelings.

Usually at the end of a few days or a week youd take your Hunger Journal to your therapist or Nutritionist to discuss the patterns youve discovered, but you can do that all on your own as well. Look for reoccurring feelings, reoccurring numbers, reoccurring times. Once you are able to identify your trouble spots then you can start to fix or prevent them. (And if you have trouble assessing your Hunger Journal on your own, feel free to email or PM me and Id be more than happy to help.)

But the hunger scale isnt just for when youre eating. You should use it all throughout the day to check in with your hunger. It doesnt take more than a minute or two to picture the hunger scale, determine how your body is feeling, and come up with a number. At first it might be hard to remember what each number stands for, but if you can remember that 0 = empty, 5 = neutral, and 10 = sick, then you should be able to gauge your hunger fairly accurately. Soon it will become second nature. Also be sure to use it while youre eating. If you have an average size plate of food, then check in with your hunger based on fourths of your plate size - When one fourth of your food is gone, check the hunger scale. When half is gone, check the hunger scale etc. If you have less food than the average meal size then check in with your hunger when you are done eating. *(And be sure not to beat yourself up if you find that you are still hungry. Instead, get another serving of food and once again check in with your hunger when you are done.)* If you are binging and its hard to measure how much food you have total then check in with your hunger according to the clock. Maybe set a timer for 2-5 minutes, or just keep an eye on your watch. *(During a binge, even if you do check in with your hunger and decide that you are satisfied that does not mean that youre going to stop eating. It would be great if you are able to, but this takes practice. What you might want to try is this: when you check in with your hunger during a binge and discover that you are full, put in a speed bump. That means that you decide to do something else for a period of time before returning to your binge. This does NOT mean you have to give up your binge, it just means that once you find yourself at a 6 or 7 on the hunger scale you take five minutes out to play a game of solitaire or read a few pages of a book. Once the five minutes is up, you can return to your binge. Each time try to increase the length of your speed bump. Eventually there may come a time that you forget you were even supposed to go back and finish binging.)* Even when you are out with friends you can check in with your hunger. I found it helpful to create a hunger scale on a piece of heavy paper the size of a business card. That way I can put it in my pocket and during a meal out I can excuse myself to the bathroom and have a quiet place to reflect and check in with my hunger mid-meal.

There are a number of other principles that go hand in hand with the hunger scale that Ill be writing about in the future, but hopefully the things Ive talked about here will help you become more in tune with your natural hunger cues and fullness.

------------------
Uk

Adult Helpline: 0845 634 1414
Youthline: 0845 634 7650
Eating Disorders Association (UK)
Adult Helpline: (open 8:30 to 20:30 weekdays)
Youthline: (open 16:00 to 18:30 weekdays)
------------------

hug hug hug

sorry it was so long... hope it helps...

feel free to pm me anytime... hug
please take care of yourself
love and hugs
xxx


Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering...

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Nephtys


Nephtys

resident fridge magnet
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Total posts: 835
Posted:hug hug hug Froggy, I'm so sorry you're going through all this, but I think it's fantastic that you realise there's a problem and want to do something about it.

I can't believe your doctor didn't give you any proper advice/help! I have friends who have had eating disorders in the past, and it's soooo hard to get over it without professional help. Is there any kind of therapy you could get on the NHS? Or are you already seeing someone for your BPD who could maybe help with this, too?

I know you're short of cash, but over here chemists (probably about equivalent to Boots) sell their own brand of multivitamins which are really quite cheap. Though obviously getting the nutrients you need through your diet is better, at least by taking multivitamin pills you'd be getting some of the nutrients you need, even without being able to eat as much as you should for budgetary or psychological reasons.

keep us posted on how it's going!

hug

Neph


everyone's unique except me

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Hey sweetie. Well, let me with start with I'm bulemic. I was actively when I was younger but am not active anymore. However the thoughts will *always* be there. I had a horrible night the other night and I was back at square one. Eating disorders are life long, and they are mental, so it is not as easy as "just eating".

So here are some suggestions I have.
1. Rid your home of large mirrors. Just keep ones that show your head, and then affix them to the wall at head level, so you don't move them.

2. If you have a scale, get rid of that too.

3. When you feed your kids, you sit with them and drink. Milk will be hard on the stomach at first, so try fruit juice, smoothies, etc.
People with eating disorders should absolutely eat bananas. Our bodies start to use our muscle for nutrition, thus feeding on itself. The heart is a muscle, and that is why so many people with eating disorders actually die of heart related issues. The pottasium in bananas helps to rebuild and strengthen up those muscles again. If nothing else, start here. They are gentle on the stomach as well.

4. Eat small. Nibble all day. Then it doesn't feel like you are eating alot, but you are putting stuff in your body.

5. Use your kids as your motivation. They need to eat, yes. But they need their mom too. You are doing no service to them by killing yourself. They also see what you are doing to yourself, and this is something they may think appropriate to do in the future.
Everytime you think you are fat, think of your children.
Everytime you turn down food, think of your children.
Everytime you think you can't, think of your children.

You can do this, but more to the point you need to find in yourself why you are like this. Why do you think you are fat? Why do you think you are not worth having the food? What are you so afraid of? That is where the root of the problem is, and that is where you will actually start to heal.

Much love and support to you sweet one. Feel free to PM or email me if for anything.

ubblove hug
Pele


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops

Total posts: 4525
Posted:
Non-Https Image Link


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Pen Draven


Pen Draven

Unofficial Lord Of Confusion And Pirate Extrodinaire
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 1363
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

ubblove ubblove ubblove


Some men see things and say why....

I Dream of things that never were and say Why Not....?

Oh No I'm going to get Shot Alive if he finds out - DA wink

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newgabe
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

newgabe

what goes around comes around. unless you're into stalls.
Location: Bali

Total posts: 4030
Posted:I wrote my thesis on eating disorders.
This chap is really onto something.


.....Can't juggle balls but I sure as hell can juggle details....

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Oct 2004

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:
First things first THANK YOU so much to you all for your support and no nonsense advice its just what i needed

Well an update from me...

i have not been able to eat anything for over a week, having trouble drinking etc due to the huge ulcer on the end of my tongue. i colapsed yesterday and the ambulance had to be called out. they instructed me to get the doctor out so she could prescribe me some ant acids, build up stuff, and pain relief and treatment for my remailing ulcers. to which she refused to come out and instead called up the house telling me to drink orange juice. i am going to be putting in a formal complaint about her.
on the plus side i nopw have build up shakes, and all the above that i need so am on the mend. which is good because staying in bed for days was more than annoying me, but it has given me loads of time to think about things and re evalutate everything again with the help from you guys. i am
going to start an eating plan as soon as these sodding ulcers have gone. its going to be mainly fruit, veg and meat as i can not eat wheat and gluten and i figure as long as i have my daily intake of the things i need i should be ok. i also want to start exercising more. my fear of getting fat again will always be there, but i don't want to get any thinner.
Pele PM on its way

righty then i am going to go for yet another shake and a lay down. hug hug hug hug hug


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast

Total posts: 5967
Posted:hug

Ease yourself in gently lady... no steaks for a couple of weeks, it won't agree with your insides smile

But lots of fruit and vegetable or chicken soup - take your energy back!!


Getting to the other side smile

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Beth


Beth

Miss Whippy
Location: Cornwall & Oxford

Total posts: 1262
Posted:Firstly, huge hug and even bigger respect for posting this. You are so strong.

I can't really add to the great advice that has already been said as i havent got first hand experience of what youre going through. All i can offer is my support and lots of hug's

I really hope you feel better soon.

xxx


Aim high and you'll know your limits, aim low and you'll never know how high you could have climbed.

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Froggy... hug me and you are so alike in many ways - except i'm not allowed to be goth lol
At school i wasn't fat, i was around 10 1/2 stone - a bit more than i am now (10st). In primary school my hips began growiing and I had comments like "oi Tamara - you got a fat arse". kids can be so cruel. By the time I left school and I got dumped on valentines day (grrr) I started starving myself and taking laxatives to try and make myself thinner and lift my adolescent depression. Of course, it didn't work.

I got down to something like seven stone. I looked awful at 16 - i cropped my hair very short and as I have a pear shaped body, my hips stuck out horribly. I thought I'd list it like this...
march 1998 - 16 yr old - 10 1/2 stone (147 lbs/63kg)
march 1999 - 17 yr old - 7 stone (98 lbs/44kg)
Sept 2000 - 18 yr old - 15st (210lbs/95kg) (had a baby)
march 2002 - 20 yr old - 18st (252lbs/114kg) (parted with ex hubby)
sept 2002 - 20 yr old - 12st (168lbs/76kg)
sept 2004 - 22 yr old - 10st (140lbs/63kg)
march 2005 - 23 yr old - 14st (196lbs/88kg) (had another baby)
sept 2005 - 23 yr old - 12st (168lbs/76kg)
today - jan 26 2006 - 23 yr old - 10st (140lbs/63kg)

Alot of the weightloss was not eating and skipping meals, but funnily enough I managed bars of chocolate. The weightloss from just before and after my second child was more exercise and eating sensible portions, and using the hunger scale as is mentioned above.

The only time I did put on weight after my huge drop was when I got pregnant the second time. And that was only because I knew I could get rid of it other than starvation. Plus breastfeeding helped use 500+ calories per day.

I dont believe in diets, its a change of eating habit thats needed. I still have lots of naughty stuff, but only when I know I can burn them off easily.

Tongue ulcers normally occur when there isn't enough nutrients in the body, which lowers your resistance to infection. They could be a sign of anaemia too - which, considering you're malnourished is possible. Get a blood test to be sure. The test can also tell you what other nutrients you may be lacking in. I'm unsure whether or not you can get free vitamins on the NHS if you cannot afford to buy them yourself. If not, then they need to be!

I totally know what you're going through, Get Well soon, and when you've done that, get healthy. Remember you don't have to be skinny to be healthy! hug hug hug



I'm sure I've made a post like this before *shudders* ubblol


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Mr_Chutney
SILVER Member since Apr 2003

Mr_Chutney

Tosser
Location: Herefordshire

Total posts: 1711
Posted:Mel hug

Its been a while smile

It sounds like you're past the worst of it- you've made the first step, the doctor is aware of your condition (and even if that specific doctor isn't helping you're still on the medical map if that makes any sense). I'm sure you probably feel rough still, but get lots of fluids in, hit the soup like Clare was saying and go from there. Your body (and the rest of us) will thank you biggrin Take care of yourself hug


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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Oct 2004

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:Mr Chutney hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug kiss far too long sir hug and thank you

Tink i think maybe we were delayed twins born to two different mums hug hug hug i have never done diets and agree you need a whole new way of life...which is how i managed to loose 5 over 5 stone in 2 years (but then i just couldn't stop) i know all these things logicaly but my brain argues and i have huge internal dialogs which do not do me any good at all, but that's what therapy is for. i am going to be talking to my therapyst when i see her next, and i am making another appointment with my CPN.hug hug hug

FurryPurple (Loving the name by the way) you have been there for me so much and i can not begin to thank you enough hug hug hug hug hug i have got far too much soup now so there is no excuse for me not to use it (my cupboard is like a harvest festival hand out)hug hug hug

and not fogetting some of these for Beth
hug hug hug hug hug


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast

Total posts: 5967
Posted:Thanks princess, but I wish I was there for you in person smile



hug



No excuse at all... just think happy thoughts about it all... positive food alignment biggrin biggrin



hug


Getting to the other side smile

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Sporky


Sporky

addict
Location: Glasgow

Total posts: 663
Posted:I had anorexia from when I was about 13 or 14 until last year. All of the advice above is pretty much what I used to 'get over it'. I found that the hunger scale didn't work as I didn't feel hungry most of the time. I made up a timetable of what to eat and when to eat it and stuck it to the fridge. I was in a university halls last year so got lots of questions about it which helped build up confidence in telling people about it. An example day for me would be:

8:00 am - Chocolate milkshake or fruit juice
10:00am - Tea and two biscuits
12:00noon - More tea or fruit juice and a biscuit or two
2:00pm - Soup and two slices of bread
4:00pm - Fruit juice
6:00pm - Dinner in halls (I'd normally have just the soup option and possibly the veg or fish if they were serving that)
9:00pm - Milky hot chocolate and a biscuit or two
12:00midnight - A little treat before bed

Always treat yourself, if you stick to the timetable for a week then go and get a tub of ice-cream or something you really like and have that with dinner. You'll feel much better in yourself for the little treats. As Pele said, eat little and often but in my view its also good to try and build up the idea of meal times by eating a little more at specific times so that you can become accustomed to them again. Always carry a packet of digestives or rich tea biscuits on you, believe me, they're a life saver (in fave I have a packet sitting next to me right now).

Another problem which I encountered was eating with other people. I forced myself to eat in halls as a way of getting over this but I don't recommend that. Invite some close family or friends over for a meal and get into a very deep and informed conversation or debate at the table (our favourite topic was the war in Iraq) and after each point you make take a bite. I found that after a while I was concentrating more on the conversation than on the fact that I was eating and I found that really helped. Not only did it distract me from the fact I was eating but it brought me closer to my friends too. Another similar idea it to eat at the computer while using MSN.

I also found that giving the thoughts a name helped too. After a while I called mine Marcus (who is a cat in my mind) so that every time I got them I could tell him to shut up. It might seem daft at first but associating those thoughts with something like that can help you control them.

Best of luck to you and if you have any problems or need any help at all please feel free to PM me.

hug hug hug

Xand


Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Oct 2004

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:i am drinking to a time table at the mo.... the build up stuff anyway. and am drinking water and juices inbetween. i can not eat biccies and even the ones i can eat i don't like much. you get some which are OK but far too much money and my doc will not give me any help via prescription on breads etc that i can eat. when i am better and can eat solid food its going to be veggies and friut but thank you for you support and ideas too. they are muchley appreciated hug

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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Ade
SILVER Member since Mar 2001

Are we there yet?
Location: australia

Total posts: 1897
Posted:hug
you're in my thoughts


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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops

Total posts: 4525
Posted:Aww Frogster hug
good on you lass. You'll get there. What's that build up stuff like? I see it in the chemists and I always wonder!
And OFS, I like your biscuit diet!! haha, I think I'm on a chocolate cake diet at the mo biggrin


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Oct 2004

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:it tastes loverly which is a help. still not onto solids yet but am getting there

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast

Total posts: 5967
Posted:smile

hug

(It's sunday, so that'll be the roast dinner with vegetables soup... followed by dessert - there's always room for ice-cream smile )


Getting to the other side smile

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Oct 2004

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:not quite a roast but i have been trying to eat soup. its still really hard and i have my good and bad days.... mainly thye latter but thats a whole different story... instead i am doing the "Go build up shake* dance. i am still waiting for energy to kick in any time soon, whcih would be good as i am more than tired of being tired and not being able to do much hug hug

Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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cheekyfirestar


cheekyfirestar

member
Location: Gloucestershire, uk

Total posts: 27
Posted:hi GothFrogette, firstly i am hoping that things are slowly and steadily improving for you, bit by bit. ive a question, and sorry if yr offended for my asking. how long was you waiting before you started on your dbt? reason for me asking is that my other half has been waiting for her assement appointment with pschologist for a while and we know then, will have to go on a further waiting list to see the right person for treatment but pschiatrist has said it is dbt that is needed for and that there is not much more that they can offer (soul crushing!!!) she has BPD amongst other things. so i was just wondering did you have a long time to wait??

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GothFrogette
BRONZE Member since Oct 2004

GothFrogette

grumpy poorly froggy
Location: Nuneaton

Total posts: 3999
Posted:i didn't have too long once DBT was mentioned to me, but thats because the new course was due to start so they rushed things through so i didn't have to wait a year!! not sure if you were told that they last 1 year per course. so with that the case i guess it would depend on how the course works in your area and how often they run. feel free to PM me should you need any help or info with things and hugs to you both hug


as for how things are going... well slow, very very slow. its harder than i thought it would be hug


Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows

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