Forums > Social Discussion > Being brave.... eating disorders
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grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
grumpy poorly froggy
3,999 posts
Location: Nuneaton, United Kingdom
Posted:
ok so its taken me so long to get round to writing this but things happened this week that gave me an extra push. For all the time i have been on HOP you guys have been some of the most supportive people i have had the pleasure to meet. I have been reluctant to post things so many times due to past events as i don't want to come across in the wrong way. i know we have some very knowledgable people on the boards and i am guessing i am asking for help/advice/support.
As some of you may know i have BPD
so i have many things going on right now including DBT
well it seems that i am rather poorly, apparently i am suffering from malnutrition, which would explain alot. apparently if you don't eat right for months on end this type of thing happens. i can not afford to buy all the fresh fruit and veg i need (the kids are being fed healthy though after all they come first with every) it also seems i have an eating disorder, its taking alot for me to write this but i am petrified about getting fat again, despite being around a size 8 i am still convinced i am far too fat.i know logicaly this can not be the case but you try telling my brain that. so at the minute i have 0 energy, ulsers on my tongue, my glands are up and i am just uber tired. Yesterday is what did it though, i had chest pains, pins and needles, out of breath,not being able to move much for about 2 hours. scared the shite out of me so i went to bed (No i didn't go to the docs for many reasons fear being the main one) I have no idea what i am going to do. its not as easy as just startng to eat neither is asking for help off someone. as all i get is "Well you know you have to eat" on the plus side i could get scurvey so i could be true pirate...ok so misplaced jokes but they are needed.
so today after much bullying from a friend i went to see the doc. i am suffering malnutrition and have a mouth and throat full of ulcers, i have been put on antibiotics and when i told the doc that i have finaly come to terms with the fact i do have an eating disorder she just told me to eat. If only it was that easy, i told my cpn and all she said was "Well you have to start eating" i know this but the thought makes me want to vomit, i sat there this morning looking at the food i had been cooked and just couldn't eat it. (Solids dont go down too well either with ulcers) i know i need to stop this cycle now before it gets too far and i guess thats why i am writing this. as i said my kids must come first but its going to them no good if i am not fit enough to look after them, it has not got to that stage and i do have some support at home from friends, and well i seem to of lost/forgot the point of this post so i am just going to click continue
ok so its taken me so long to get round to writing this but things happened this week that gave me an extra push. For all the time i have been on HOP you guys have been some of the most supportive people i have had the pleasure to meet. I have been reluctant to post things so many times due to past events as i don't want to come across in the wrong way. i know we have some very knowledgable people on the boards and i am guessing i am asking for help/advice/support.
As some of you may know i have BPD
so i have many things going on right now including DBT
well it seems that i am rather poorly, apparently i am suffering from malnutrition, which would explain alot. apparently if you don't eat right for months on end this type of thing happens. i can not afford to buy all the fresh fruit and veg i need (the kids are being fed healthy though after all they come first with every) it also seems i have an eating disorder, its taking alot for me to write this but i am petrified about getting fat again, despite being around a size 8 i am still convinced i am far too fat.i know logicaly this can not be the case but you try telling my brain that. so at the minute i have 0 energy, ulsers on my tongue, my glands are up and i am just uber tired. Yesterday is what did it though, i had chest pains, pins and needles, out of breath,not being able to move much for about 2 hours. scared the shite out of me so i went to bed (No i didn't go to the docs for many reasons fear being the main one) I have no idea what i am going to do. its not as easy as just startng to eat neither is asking for help off someone. as all i get is "Well you know you have to eat" on the plus side i could get scurvey so i could be true pirate...ok so misplaced jokes but they are needed.
so today after much bullying from a friend i went to see the doc. i am suffering malnutrition and have a mouth and throat full of ulcers, i have been put on antibiotics and when i told the doc that i have finaly come to terms with the fact i do have an eating disorder she just told me to eat. If only it was that easy, i told my cpn and all she said was "Well you have to start eating" i know this but the thought makes me want to vomit, i sat there this morning looking at the food i had been cooked and just couldn't eat it. (Solids dont go down too well either with ulcers) i know i need to stop this cycle now before it gets too far and i guess thats why i am writing this. as i said my kids must come first but its going to them no good if i am not fit enough to look after them, it has not got to that stage and i do have some support at home from friends, and well i seem to of lost/forgot the point of this post so i am just going to click continue
Life's too short to worry about where you put your marshmallows
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