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Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK

Posted:
OK, I am sorry to blight your otherwise relaxed browse through the forums, but I find myself in a genuine time of need and I know you, the HOP community, are a mightily knowledgable and diverse bunch from which I may find a route I have not considered so far.



My predicament is this:



I graduated last summer in philosophy and then flunked about at home for what felt like an eternity. I finally got it into my head I wanted to go to London, get a job, get my career rolling.



I did. I started a job with an estate agents (a large successful and well known one I would prefer not to be mentioned by name in this thread should anyone know who I mean) and have since started earning money, driving a company car and sadly, hating every single day. The hours are very demanding (upwards of 60 per week and every other week is a 7 dayer)and I do not find the job rewarding in any way (I had a good history in retail and figured sales was the next logical step- HA!).



So here I am- no social life to speak of, committed to an expensive flat for at least the next four months (landlords good will possibly making this less problematic) and with no capital to speak of. Also, as I chose to live in an expensive but 1 bed flat for my house the money I make is almost totally eaten by bills, rendering the job pretty useless even for building funds.



I also have the added complication that I'm now missing my girlfriend more than ever. For those of you not familiar with my relationship, I'm happily in love with a lady who lives in Rhode Island, and I reside in London. And I miss her lots- we're talking about going travelling together to get a good chunk of time together, but the job I have means I might not see her til the late summer, which neither of us relishes the thought of (its only been a couple of days since I last saw her and I already want her back).



OK, there is my bleeding heart.



I need options, and I would really appreciate some serious suggestions in what I might do instead.



I love people, have a philosophy degree, am pretty good with poi (performance maybe not so much as teaching) and regard myself (naively perhaps) as a good person who ultimately gets his kicks altruistically. I do not have the money to study another degree or course, will not have a car once this job is boxed, and am not sure whther to return to the backward but beautiful countryside where the roads are paved with manure, or to venture forth once more into the city where the streets are paved with gold but the demand your soul.



I am in your hands my fellow hoppers, and I thankyou, sincerely, just for giving the time to read this.grouphug
EDITED_BY: Mr_Chutney (1187128133)
SymBRONZE Member
Geek-enviro-hippy priest
1,858 posts
Location: Diss, Norfolk, United Kingdom

Posted:
Maybe you could work out your 4 months and go and stay with someone who'll not charge you much rent and save up money (doing something) to travel.

mmmm, thats not a great idea... hug sorry, I just wanted to help in some way... hug

There's too many home fires burning and not enough trees

DuncGOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom

Posted:
Dream a dream job. Not a specific job role but what you would like to experience day to day, what would you expect to get from a job? I don't mean "happiness, no hours, lots of money" but a challenge perhaps, or something to give you a tremendous feeling of accopmlishment, or easy going and laid back perhaps?

Try to find that job

Apply for a few, be lucky and get one.

Don't worry about the car....you live in London! Who needs a car in London?!

Positive thoughts for positive action smile

Don't quit your job unless you have another to go to, or you will almost deffinately take a backward step just to survive.

Rent a boat, tie it onto Sim and Jons and live a cheaper life wink (or squat on their roof and don't tell them....shhhhhhh)

I'm sure that in a city as diverse, as expansive and as fluid as London you can find the job that helps you fulfil you life, if it is a job that can fulfil your life.

Have lots of hugs

hug

Let's relight this forum ubblove

Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK

Posted:
hug

Thankyou for you words of wisdon- I'm really grateful for your interest.

Dream a dream job? Err- helping/ teaching people nowish, ideally outside (though not necessarily), honest.

Where would one find jobs other than'job' jobs in London? I'm a bit of a loser for stuff like that. I go to all the big grad/ corporate pages and find suit jobs which it would appear, don't 'suit' me biggrin
UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales

Posted:
I think you should head on over to ours and have a nicecupofteaandasitdown.com smile



hug



*was wondering about you today*



Or..

one word...



beavers biggrin
DuncGOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom

Posted:
Where to find a job? Well once you know what you want from it, think of a job that fits the description. Then go hunt! If you want it go look for it, it won't coming looking for you.

Teach & Outside

Talk to Frodo, go buy an outdoorsy adventure type magazine and check the listed places, see if any are in the area you want and ask if they have any vacancies. It's a start and if they can't help they may be able to point you in the right direction

And a cup of tea with good company will definately ease a troubled mind hug

Let's relight this forum ubblove

Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK

Posted:
All true, BUT I work 8-8 mon to Saturday. How the hell do i find something to go to, make interviews etc, when I can't find a correct hour in the day. Whilst it may sound recklless, I'm tempted to bail out and then search like crazy in the month or two that I have covered rent wise.

This is such a pain in the arse! mad angry

Thanks again guys smile
GlitterBubbleSILVER Member
member
39 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Posted:
12 hour days, 6 days a week? I hope they are paying you well and not just taking advantage of you.

You have a life to lead, and although having a life costs money, you shouldn't suffer through it being unhappy with no time for yourself.

Can you somehow work less hours (and cut down on unnecessary bills/luxuries)? You need more spare time to let new opportunities find you............

I decided a few years ago that I would cut down my working hours (working for someone else). Less money but more time to just... live. Best thing I ever did. It allowed me to let my life fall into place naturally (I know that sounds a bit corny). I was pretty broke for a while, but I now run my own business which has slowly developed over the years. I am working about 70 hours a week for the next month or two , but I love it because its mine and brings great satisfaction.

Do you want to carve out a high flying corporate career or avoid the rat race?

Good luck and I hope it all works out well for you in the end (it always does I think, if you just perservere wink )

I love HOT chillies!

*me: Guess what? I'm learning how to eat fire!
*husband: well, you do love hot food.....

Gayle......!SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,444 posts
Location: Bristol !!!!!!, United Kingdom

Posted:
Mr Chutney. You might find an interesting read in my intro about the times i am going through. I, like you had the money, the car and the job and wasn't happy. So i re-evaluated where i wanted to be and i am now on my way to getting there. The only thing that i have which you don't is the teaching qualification. I've had it for 3 years before decided to do anything with it. This may be your downfall - unless you can find a place that trains you as well.

Outside of poi and being an estate agent and of course the lovely girlfriend, what IS your life. What makes you enthusiastic, what makes you talk and gesticulate so much when you're talking about it that people get quite scared. For me, it's dancing.

Teaching and outdoors. Well, as Dunc says - the adventure type places - maybe worth talking the outward bound people.

But - i do believe, until you home in on what makes you happy, you're not going to find the answers. Be Brave! smile

Gayle.....!

SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales

Posted:
hug

Don't panic! Everything can and will be sorted out.


You said that you have 4 months left on your contract on the flat. Is this non negotiable? If you found them another tenant to take over the rent, would they release you from the contract maybe? Then you could look for somewhere with a more modest rent.

If you want to do a job you love and not a job that just pays the bills sometimes you have to accept that your living standards will drop, but to my mind that doesn't matter as long as you feel happy everyday when you get up to go to work. Not having a car isn't the end of the world. I've never had one, hell I can't even drive. I get by. So will you.

Have you tried getting careers advice? Here is an online site that gives advice about over 700 jobs. They also have a Futures section that helps to match your skills to jobs. It might throw up ideas of jobs you never thought of or even knew existed.

I know job searching takes time and effort but I have to agree with Dunc that giving up a job to look for another one isn't a good plan. Employers are odd creatures and they prefer to employ someone that already has job than one that doesn't.

Make a list of wishes. Write down where you would like to be in 5 years time, then break it down into a year by year path to getting to your goal. Be realistic, sometimes you have to walk a bit of path you don't like to get you to where you want to be.

Good Luck hun hug and remember if all else fails you can get a gig as an Aled Jones Lookalike! ubblol

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

Gayle......!SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,444 posts
Location: Bristol !!!!!!, United Kingdom

Posted:
Written by: Skulduggery


remember if all else fails you can get a gig as an Aled Jones Lookalike! ubblol



A poi spinning Aled Jones at that ubblol

Gayle.....!

SethisBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom

Posted:
You could also go back to University (yes, I know what you said) and get a PGCE for Philosophy. You said you were interested in teaching, and if you can't get a job in outdoor pursuits immediately then it might be a good idea to get a qualification that will help to get you that job in future. When you do a PGCE then the odds are that you will have to pay no tuition fees, get a grant, and a "Golden handshake" if you wanted to teach in schools. That gives you a year to evaluate what you're doing, and all you're paying for is the accomodation. Also (I don't know anything about your personal situation though) it might be a good idea to move out of London, it's stupidly expensive there. If you have commitments/good reasons to stay there, then by all means do, but if you don't really have anything holding you there then it might be good to move away a bit.

Hope it goes well hug

After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

nearly_all_goneSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom

Posted:
I'm a 3rd year philosophy student too... have you considered doing a job which makes you feel better about what you're doing? With a philosophy degree you're good fodder for a paid chairty position... they're not the best paid jobs, but if your prime problem is hating your work, doing something which is genuinely positive like working for a charity you believe in can make it all worthwhile...



I say work these 4 months, look around and see if you can find any temp work which pays as well or better. Is your flat at all mouldy or anything? If it is there's a possibility of having your contract anulled if you get environmental health involved... got me and my friends out of a crap flat in Brighton, and a new bathroom installed in our second place!



When the 4 months are up, move. London is a bad place if you haven't got much of a social life to fall back on, it's ridiculously expensive (and the inflated pay doesn't ever make you feel good about paying double for things than you would anywhere else), all the jobs are seriously competitive... move somewhere you'd be happier, and work on saving some money to travel.



Just bear in mind that your degree was what it was, but just because you've got it doesn't mean you can't take a less highly-qualified job you'd be happier in. A good salary is literally nothing next to peace of mind and happiness.



Move to Rhode Island and be with your girl. Do what it takes to get there. I know it's oversimplifying things a lot, but if you want to do that, do it. You're only going to be alive for a little while, so do what you really want to and censored everything else.



Hey, you've got to have a goal, and a positive attitude, right? smile



hug hug hug

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

nearly_all_goneSILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,626 posts
Location: Southampton, United Kingdom

Posted:
Written by: Mr Chutney



a good person who ultimately gets his kicks altruistically. [...] or to venture forth once more into the city where the streets are paved with gold but the demand your soul.



See, no reason to go to the city. You only go there if you want money, and to fight people to get it.



No-one with a philosophy degree belongs in a city wink biggrin

What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant.
Thoreau

VampyricAcidSILVER Member
veteran
1,286 posts
Location: My House, United Kingdom

Posted:
hughugs for chutney hug

dont really have any advice, but i thought you might need hugs

Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?

jemima (jem)SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,750 posts
Location: london, United Kingdom

Posted:
Dude, I don't have any specific advice but I'd say grab any opportunity that allows you balance of money and social life. Be a happy bunny that you have that bit of paper that says you are capable of committing yourself to a degree and completing it.

I have no idea what I will do after my degree, and I guess I will face the decicion on whether to stay in London or Manchester. I also don't know if my parents are moving to Dorset or not.

As I keep saying london is as evil as it is amazing, full of well paid jobs, but you have to spend it all just to get anyware and have a home. But it has spitz ubblove

Hey so do you see yourself settling down in america?, or will your girl come over here?
I know animated smilies don't solve the dillemma but heres one anyway hug

Never assume
Always Acknowledge

pricklyleafSILVER Member
with added berries
1,365 posts
Location: Manchester, England (UK)

Posted:
I'd also reccomend moving out of London. My freind who lives there pays more than twice the rent I do, and I still live in a city. Do you have parents that you could move back in with. I know it's probably the last thing you want to do, but it would mean you could quit your job and therefore have enough time to look for something else. It sounds like your going to end up pretty trapped in your job otherwise. Also, have you actually signed a form saying you'll work over 48 hours a week? If not your employers are breaking the law.

If I was in your position, I think I would just brace myself and take drastic action. It's going to be the quickest way to do it. Move back with your parents if you can, or any sibblings maybe, if not. But set yourself a limit. Say I will have moved out by this date meaning I will live here for a maximum of four weeks, or whatever you feel is appropriate.

If you are interested in teaching, then it is not too late to apply for a PGCE for 2006 entry. You can do that HERE . You can also get good information about teaching, and other graduate jobs HERE (although I suspect you may already know about this website). Teaching is definately a good way to go as you get a £6000 grant, and then possible bonuses on top of that!

If you dont feel thats right for you then why don't you make an appointment with a careers advisor. Like others have said, who have posted previously, think about what words come into your head, when you're asked what you would like to do, and what you would like to achieve. Are you willing to work for less money, but in a job you love doing? Do you want a job that is stable and secure, or is that less important to you?

The job your in at the moment seems to be a bit of con, no-one should be expected to work hours like that, unless they're MD and on a payscale to match. It sounds like you could negotiate with your landlord to release you from your flat. If you find someone to move in there should be no problem.

Good luck and hugs! hug2

Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nephtysresident fridge magnet
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands

Posted:
Nearly_All_Gone stole the idea I was going to give you, grrrrrr! smile

A lot of charities have big London offices, and the few I've just looked at (Amnesty, World Vision, Oxfam, International Alert, Saferworld and minority Rights Group, Red Cross) all have multiple vacancies at the moment.... ok, not very outside or very teachy, but certainly altruistic and likely to give you a lot of job satisfaction.

I agree with the others, don't quit your current job until you have a new one, but start hunting like a fiend because working in a job you don't like for as many hours as you do AND not seeing much of the money because of cost of living.... well, argh, it'll suck your soul dry! Can you not take the occasional day off or fake a dentists appointment to go for interviews?

best of luck!!

everyone's unique except me

Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK

Posted:
Friends smile

Thankyou so much for your continuing input.

I almost walked out yesterday and then had a long chat with one of the senior ladies in the office where I pretty much said I was on the brink of leaving. She worked hard in trying to make me stay, but I don't know quite what we ended up with- I still don't want to be there, I just need to put other things in place first (ie my contract on my flat bing negotiable, otherwise my dad will get billed as my guaranteur which would not make me popular.

I think I may ebd up temping for a while, assessing my optionns and spending time around friends. Watch this space (and please add to it if you have something to add smile)
Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK

Posted:
Hurdle 1 has been cleared-

My landlord is willing to negotiate on my leaving the property and won't hold me to the letter of the contract as long as he doesn't lose money in the meantime. This means I am not committed to paying the rent for 6 months, and thus, if I can find work and somewhere else to live, I'm OK.

Next stop, job.
Gayle......!SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
2,444 posts
Location: Bristol !!!!!!, United Kingdom

Posted:
clap Well done! Good Luck on the job front! Any other ideas about which direction you're going to take?

Gayle.....!

Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK

Posted:
Hmmmm.

No. I'm thinking bar work might be a good choice, as its flexible, usable everywhere and would be handy for travelling should I ever get that far. problem is I'd need to get somewhere to live first and not many places are going to want an unemployed bar worker living there. This si what makes me think I should look at bar work for a while back home, then head to the city once more.

This is where it all becomes a big Head F***
Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK

Posted:
OK, hold on to your hats, things have got a bit crazy...

I have quit. Long story, not to be explained here, but its come to a head and I have left.

The plan:

Temp for the next month, get some cash together. Next, bail out of the city and head back to Herefordshire for 6 months or so, staying at my dads paying rent. Probably bar working or similar, getting some experience, maybe trying to run some beginners poi workshops and maybe even performing in some clubs spinning wise (I've always wondered about doing it, now I think I might finally have a go). With the small outgoings I should be able to acrue a bit of cash and hopefully get myself a cheap motor (necessary for pootling about the shire).

With this money and experience I should be able to get to the point where I have enough cash saved to jet off to the US and stay with my lady for a couple of months, and then, well.. thats later smile

Your thoughts?
SkulduggeryGOLD Member
Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
8,428 posts
Location: Wales

Posted:
hug Good Luck hun! hug

You can make it work. I have faith in you.

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

SethisBRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom

Posted:
Sounds like a good start! Staying in a job you hate would only have sapped your soul even more, and it's a grand thing that you've left. hug

Staying with a relative is good, low rent means more money for other things. Same goes for moving to the country.

Your member no. indicates you've been spinning a long time, enough time to be good enough to perform I guess (I don't know shrug ). Some posters put up in local post offices, supermarkets, bus stops and stuff can be a really good way to earn money, something I'm thinking about doing later this term. Something like: "Want to give your friend a unique and fascinating birthday? Get them a Fire Spinner to give them a party they'll never forget!"

(Yeah, I know the wording needs work, it's just off the top of my head smile )

I've been paid £40 for 3 hours work before, so it's definately an option.

I second Skully, you can do it!

After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

jemima (jem)SILVER Member
Pooh-Bah
1,750 posts
Location: london, United Kingdom

Posted:
Sethis: watch his vids, the mans a good spinner, and I KNOW he's a good teacher !

Never assume
Always Acknowledge

KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England

Posted:
Er, do be careful about US visas, its typhically only a month at a time for tourist visas from what british friends have been telling me!

But in general sounds good. Rhode Island is not that cheap but it isn't London or NYC! For sure. Or california.

I'm biding time in a job I dislike but its nowhere near as bad as what you were up to. I know exactly what I want to do with my life... and have no idea how to make it happen *for sure* altho I'm trying very hard right now to ... altho I think my methods are a bit unorthodox, since they include things like "saving money by living in NYC" and "getting into debt"

So I'm not sure how to help you figure out what you relaly want to do. But I do know you should think about all of it,.... think about what type of work you want to do, what type of interactions, whther you can handle having a boss, wether you can handle being your own boss, and if both, which you prefer. Whether you want to have a big impact in a tiny area, or a tiny impact spread over a big area, or tiny/tiny, big/big, etc, etc. All additional considerations beyond "teaching". Is there an age you like more, an activity you like more, a type of people you like more... etc. If I think of more I'll let you know, for now I must run off to my eighth day of work in a row.....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom

Posted:
Hey Chutters, smile Well done! It's a brave thing to say "no, this isnt right and I want out!" so big well done a hug
I think your plan is good smile chilling with the poppa bear for a bit and saving the cash to go out exploring! Much better than being stuck in an office for half your life. good luck sir! hug

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

mechBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,207 posts
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom

Posted:
chuckney

i know this mihgt be some what out of left field

but what about something like a training camp, not a military one

but one where people go to do things like boating, rock climbing, outdoor camps, not holiday camops, more like teh ones you wuld go to as a kid with school for a week, to learn how to sail, and to learn how to read mas and stuff.....

i knwo you are a fairly open air person, and i belive very fit, and probably willing to start at the bottom, and while this would not really give you any help oin finding a job after maybe, it might be something you cuold look into for some time while you search for a job

how about making another hobby you have (other than poi) a carreer, for me its all about my photography atm, and for sophie to, and we are also looking into things like online shos, and retail to set up our own company, but its finding a market you can work in that is not saturated with shops already....


if you wnat any more helkp, im always around for you dudehug

Step (el-nombrie)

Mr ChutneySILVER Member
Tosser
1,712 posts
Location: Bristol,UK

Posted:
Jo- thanks smile

Its funny, everyone bar my parents seems really happy for me to have made this decision. My parents seem keen that I am 'happy' and 'get myself sorted'. This pretty much equates to get a job, ideally line up a career. I'm more of the disposotion to find some things that make me happy (I'm thinking some poi workshoppy things back home in the country where poiple don't spin much) and maybe some performance. Also maybe bar work, some local government job, possible to do with the arts and culture- along those lines anyway. And I want to travel now. i'm getting itchy feet- a first for me.

Mech: I was thinking about the outdoorsey thing, but I'm a bit of a wimp truth be told. I most definitely an not fit, just skinny biggrin That is one thing on the list to rectify in my new schedule though- I've never been happy with my physique or aerobic fitness (asthma is a bihatch) so I'm thinking of getting into swimming and maybe cycling too.

Thanks for the kind words smile
LazyAngelGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,895 posts
Location: Cambridge UK

Posted:
Mate.

I wish I had wise words of advice for you, but I think anything I could've said has already been covered. Except maybe take a TEFL course and use it to teach abroad, gain some experience, then come back and teach foreign students in England.

Problems: requires about a grand and four weeks to do an intensive course, doesn't involve poi or juggling.
Benefits: Travel, potential job opportunities in England once you have got the necessary experience.

All I can do is wish you good luck whatever you choose to do
hug

Because ActiveAngel sounds like a feminine deodorant

Like sex, I'm much more interesting in real life than online.

'Be the change you want to see in the world around you' - Ghandi

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