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Forums > Social Chat > Romance & Courtesy is dead = nurse- 10cc's of adrenaline, STAT!

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:Along came feminism, bye bye went romance. Seriously!



What happened to the days of chivalry, when a man would sweep you off your feet? lay a cloak over a puddle before you, open doors for you or fight to the death for your honour and your heart?



Girl power is all very well (although a little too 1997) but when strong female attitudes arrived, romance began to die. Men have become scared to help out a lady in fear of offending her.



The world's gone too PC, and its ridiculous! It certainly explains why some people are so bloody rude and let me struggle one handed trying to get a buggy through a tiny shop door!



mad2


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Motley
GOLD Member since Oct 2005

Motley

addict
Location: UK

Total posts: 434
Posted:noooo bummerfly is something entirely different, I'll let Jo explain since its her speciality, im a mere amateur in comparison,



*bows down to the bummerfly queen* biggrin biggrin



Motley



Edit: I'll also stop hijacking your thread with my mindless drivil, apologies smile

EDITED_BY: Motley (1137173446)


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Rozi
SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Written by: Nephtys

Written by: Rozi

If you want romance, and want it in a certain form, say so. If the person you are requesting it from is not capable of or willing to give it, then find someone who is. But don't blame them for their philosophy/ability.

cut for length



nah, don't agree: this is true fro pretty much all other things in a relationship cut for length It doesn't work for romance though (for me, anyway): romance just doesn't mean much if it isn't spontaneous. cut for length



Yes, I agree that romance is also about spontaneity. But that doesn't mean that you can't have a conversation that talks about the things you find romantic - "I like to get flowers now and then" "I really like to be spoilt & treated like a princess once in a while" "I expect a big fuss on my birthday".

You don't have to have that conversation every day, and maybe you only need to have it once.

What bugs me is when people say "he/she never brings me flowers or makes a fuss of me", when they have never shown or said that they would like that. Who knows, the persons previous partner could have freaked out completely at any such thing, and so they only know it as a bad thing.

Or they may just not be capable of it. In which case it is better to find out in that earlier conversation when they say "oh, flowers. I never understood what all the fuss is about flowers".


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

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Sethis
BRONZE Member since May 2005

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 1762
Posted:Written by: TinklePants

i have done, but the thing is we been together 3 long years.



*Trying desperately not to sound offensive*

So what? If he's not right, he's not right. The fact that you've known each other for a long time does not put any higher value on the relationship. Does it? I've known some girls for years and they're still evil. rolleyes

This isn't a criticism, or an attack. I just want to know, if you've been together for three years then shouldn't you know what the other person wants/needs/expects and mutually work to give each other what you want?

I will take no offence if you tell me I know nothing about it and to shut up, right now. smile


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:no offense taken matey hug

In jan 2005 he went teetotal, and its only the past year his true self has emerged.


Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Its not how much you've put in, but how much you're going to get out of what you continue to put in. If you have sunk 2 million dollars into something, but its not going to be profitable, then you get out, rather than keep dumping in the money....

It is of course harder when you have contracts, harder still when honour is involved, but just keep thinking about that, about looking at everything "from this point forward"

Of course, most of us, myself included, still fail at these things!

As to romance, NYC said it the best and rozi's a good second, this should have been in discussion imo oh well I found it now! Altho I have a bitch of a time explaining to boys I don't like flowers enough so that they understand it tongue Oh well, could be worse smile

But not all romance is beset with domestic violence, and not all domestic violence had romance first. There are two brilliant examples of chivalry in my life which make me feel like amillion dollars (Altho neither of them are guys I've dated... funny that!) In one case the guy did in fact do things like opening and closing the car doors and altho I would have laughed in someone's face earlier if they'd told me I'd like that... well, I wouldn't recommend it to people who don't do it naturally but it was wonderful. The big trick with a lot of these things is if you have to try it often doesn't come out right. Indeed, be yourself... at the most base level.
And the other, A certain Sethis, does a wonderful job treating women as if they are (talented and nonetheless equal) ladies and altho I'm pretty sure not everyone appreciates it I surely do smile smile And he still manages to be honest and tell you when you're being stupid in his opinion. Which, I might note, does not always reflect reality tongue

But on the other hand I dated someone who was the stereotyphical romantic descending into abusive nightmare, so, erm, be careful what you wish for indeed! I'm romantic in my own strange way, and have thus far met one (maybe two!) people who are the same....

Which I think just means, even for the more typhical people, you just have to keep looking for a good match smile smile

Blah Blah Blah. I ubblove you guys for listening smile


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Sethis
BRONZE Member since May 2005

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 1762
Posted:redface Now look what you've made me do...

But thanks smile hug


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:I read this in Coversations with God last night, and I thought it was rather apt:
"Two people join together in partnership hoping that the whole will be greater than the sum of the parts, only to find that it's less. They feel LESS than when they were single. Less capable, less able, less exciting, less attractive, less joyful, less content.
This is because they are LESS. They've given up most of who they are in order to be- and to stay- in their relationship."
Be yourselves wink


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Sethis
BRONZE Member since May 2005

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 1762
Posted:"Sex is like food. People spend lots of time thinking up exotic dishes with strange and exciting spices, but at the end of the day will sit down for a plate of bacon, egg and chips like everyone else"

-Terry Pratchett

And I'm not sure what that says wink ubblol


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Delete

_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172
Posted:Romance? I'm not such a fan of it...all for general politness, but holding a door open and pulling a chair out for me just because they're male? Pah, If my ass is capable of being plonked down on a seat, then my arm is capable of pulling out the chair that is going to be plonked on.

I'm not you're average girly (see sig) who likes flowers and all that smelly frilly bollucks, in fact I despise it, so I can't really comment as I don't like all that stuff - so I don't expect it.

My perfect date includes the sofa, cuppa tea, a smoke, and a good film ubblol



Big up girl power I suppose? shrug

EDITED_BY: *Aime* (1137355647)


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animatEd
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK

Total posts: 3540
Posted:Written by: *Aime*


My perfect date includes the sofa, cuppa tea, a smoke, and a good film ubblol







If that's the case, get your coat, you've pulled... wink



Romance? What's That?

EDITED_BY: Leaning_Towards_Corruption (1137360409)


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom

Total posts: 4172
Posted:Written by: Leaning_Towards_Corruption

If that's the case, get your coat, you've pulled... wink



rolleyes ubblol


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