Forums > Social Discussion > Good friends - Bad friends
Login/Join to ParticipateStargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
I came across a booklet and would like to share one section of it's content with you:
Law 2: Preparing resources for life on two fronts.
A. Choosing the people with whom one is to associate.
One should associate with people who will guide one's life along a path that is prosperous and constructive, by avoiding false friends and associating only with true friends as follows:
1. Recognizing the four kinds of false friends or enemies in the guise of friends:
1) The out-and-out robber, who only takes from his friends, has four features:
(1) He thinks only of taking.
(2) He gives just a little only to gain a lot.
(3) Only when he himself is in danger does he help his friend out.
(4) He associates with his friend only for his own sake.
2) The smooth talker has four features:
(1) He only talks about what is done and gone.
(2) He talks only of what has not yet come.
(3) He offers help that is of no use.
(4) When his friend has some business in hand, he always makes excuses.
3) The flatterer has four features
(1) He consents to [his friend's] doing wrong.
(2) He consents to his doing right.
(3) He praises him to his face.
(4) He disparages him behind his back.
4) The leader to ruin has four features:
(1) He is a companion in drinking.
(2) He is a companion in nightlife.
(3) He is a companion in frequenting shows and fairs.
(4) He is a companion in gambling.
(Part 2: Knowing the four kinds of true friends or friends at heart will follow shortly)
I came across a booklet and would like to share one section of it's content with you:
Law 2: Preparing resources for life on two fronts.
A. Choosing the people with whom one is to associate.
One should associate with people who will guide one's life along a path that is prosperous and constructive, by avoiding false friends and associating only with true friends as follows:
1. Recognizing the four kinds of false friends or enemies in the guise of friends:
1) The out-and-out robber, who only takes from his friends, has four features:
(1) He thinks only of taking.
(2) He gives just a little only to gain a lot.
(3) Only when he himself is in danger does he help his friend out.
(4) He associates with his friend only for his own sake.
2) The smooth talker has four features:
(1) He only talks about what is done and gone.
(2) He talks only of what has not yet come.
(3) He offers help that is of no use.
(4) When his friend has some business in hand, he always makes excuses.
3) The flatterer has four features
(1) He consents to [his friend's] doing wrong.
(2) He consents to his doing right.
(3) He praises him to his face.
(4) He disparages him behind his back.
4) The leader to ruin has four features:
(1) He is a companion in drinking.
(2) He is a companion in nightlife.
(3) He is a companion in frequenting shows and fairs.
(4) He is a companion in gambling.
(Part 2: Knowing the four kinds of true friends or friends at heart will follow shortly)
the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
Dealing in Perception & Probability
135 posts
Location: On the edge of sunrise and sunset
135 posts
Location: On the edge of sunrise and sunset
Posted:
well Tom you have my interest: were are you going with this?
well Tom you have my interest: were are you going with this?
Legal and illegal are a point of view. All that matters is morality.
If there's a shadow in your life, then there is also sunshine. Perception is everything.
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
dunno yet - kinda testing whether people are up to share their thoughts on a specific subject, wich is neither trivial nor emotionally rocking...
I'm kinda coming from the angle that it's pretty scary sometimes to find out (in times of trouble) who's a real friend and who's not - and that's somtimes pretty late. got disappointed on that a few times already in my life. in german language "disappointment" would be "enttaeuscht"... breaking this down would mean to put and "ending" (ent) to the deception (taeuschung)...
and this actually is a positive and good meaning... no?
means to get dis-appointed, meaning you have ben appointed before and that's over now... which actually has a pretty good meaning. Dunno whether that's in english the same about english though...
dunno yet - kinda testing whether people are up to share their thoughts on a specific subject, wich is neither trivial nor emotionally rocking...
I'm kinda coming from the angle that it's pretty scary sometimes to find out (in times of trouble) who's a real friend and who's not - and that's somtimes pretty late. got disappointed on that a few times already in my life. in german language "disappointment" would be "enttaeuscht"... breaking this down would mean to put and "ending" (ent) to the deception (taeuschung)...
and this actually is a positive and good meaning... no?
means to get dis-appointed, meaning you have ben appointed before and that's over now... which actually has a pretty good meaning. Dunno whether that's in english the same about english though...
the best smiles are the ones you lead to
Dealing in Perception & Probability
135 posts
Location: On the edge of sunrise and sunset
135 posts
Location: On the edge of sunrise and sunset
Posted:
i think if you put up part 2, it may stimulate more responses. now as for what you have posted: i have had to find out the hard way about true friends.
take my roommate for instance. he got back form an 18 month tour of duty in iraq about 1 year aog. now he's a U.S. Army Ranger. infantry trained. job class is millitary poilice. to sum it up: he was shot at every damn day! there were several times he would call me up on the verge of tears casue of the events of that day. his wife (now ex) was here in the sates. she was supose to do 3 things while he was gone. pay the rent, take care of the dg, and finish school. he was makeing over $4k a month. their total bills came out to just under $2k.
when he got home she had moved in with friends cause she got eveicted. had to give their dog away, and won't tell him to whom. and as for school....well you can guess.
all she did for 18 months was party, and sleep with other men, namly his friends. now this man, who put his life on the line every day, in a war he did not support, is sleeping on my couch. he found out the hard who his true friends were..
but like i tell him weeekly. have faith, Karma is a powerfull thing
i think if you put up part 2, it may stimulate more responses. now as for what you have posted: i have had to find out the hard way about true friends.
take my roommate for instance. he got back form an 18 month tour of duty in iraq about 1 year aog. now he's a U.S. Army Ranger. infantry trained. job class is millitary poilice. to sum it up: he was shot at every damn day! there were several times he would call me up on the verge of tears casue of the events of that day. his wife (now ex) was here in the sates. she was supose to do 3 things while he was gone. pay the rent, take care of the dg, and finish school. he was makeing over $4k a month. their total bills came out to just under $2k.
when he got home she had moved in with friends cause she got eveicted. had to give their dog away, and won't tell him to whom. and as for school....well you can guess.
all she did for 18 months was party, and sleep with other men, namly his friends. now this man, who put his life on the line every day, in a war he did not support, is sleeping on my couch. he found out the hard who his true friends were..
but like i tell him weeekly. have faith, Karma is a powerfull thing
Legal and illegal are a point of view. All that matters is morality.
If there's a shadow in your life, then there is also sunshine. Perception is everything.
SILVER Member
with added berries
1,365 posts
Location: Manchester, England (UK)
with added berries
1,365 posts
Location: Manchester, England (UK)
Posted:
I think I've definately come across a lot of false freinds, but its made me appreciate my true freinds all the more.
I think I've definately come across a lot of false freinds, but its made me appreciate my true freinds all the more.
Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
Posted:
What was the title of the booklet? Sounds vaguely religious.
I've met some bad people, and some nice people. I've met someone who was probably clinically sociopathic (and yes, I do know what the definition of that word is, my mother is a psychologist), and some truly beautiful and amazing people.
All I really care about right now is that I have good friends, and the evil has been left behind in the dust of my past. The times have changed and I will now move on.
Still hurts though.
What was the title of the booklet? Sounds vaguely religious.
I've met some bad people, and some nice people. I've met someone who was probably clinically sociopathic (and yes, I do know what the definition of that word is, my mother is a psychologist), and some truly beautiful and amazing people.
All I really care about right now is that I have good friends, and the evil has been left behind in the dust of my past. The times have changed and I will now move on.
Still hurts though.
After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Dealing in Perception & Probability
135 posts
Location: On the edge of sunrise and sunset
135 posts
Location: On the edge of sunrise and sunset
Posted:
sethis: something that helped me from the "hurt" of false friends, and it may help you. love them for what they tought you. there's this saying a mentor of mine once told me.
do not hate those who wrong you. hate is an easy and and empty emotion, insted love them. not for what they did to you, but for what they thought you.
not saying it's easy, becasue it's not. hell there are still several people that hurt me, that i can't stand the thought of. but that's only becasue i haven't figured out what it is they tought me yet.....
sethis: something that helped me from the "hurt" of false friends, and it may help you. love them for what they tought you. there's this saying a mentor of mine once told me.
do not hate those who wrong you. hate is an easy and and empty emotion, insted love them. not for what they did to you, but for what they thought you.
not saying it's easy, becasue it's not. hell there are still several people that hurt me, that i can't stand the thought of. but that's only becasue i haven't figured out what it is they tought me yet.....
Legal and illegal are a point of view. All that matters is morality.
If there's a shadow in your life, then there is also sunshine. Perception is everything.
SILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom
Posted:
hmmmmmmmmmmm
..........
Non-Https Image Link
hmmmmmmmmmmm
..........
Non-Https Image Link
Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
GOLD Member
Gromit's Humble Squire
4,496 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Gromit's Humble Squire
4,496 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posted:
That's a really tough break, sorry to hear- good to know he's got someone to turn to still. Out of curiosity though, he wasn't in touch with anyone else who could have dobbed her in sooner?
Written by: Str8Jakit
take my roommate for instance. he got back form an 18 month tour of duty in iraq about 1 year aog. now he's a U.S. Army Ranger. infantry trained. job class is millitary poilice. to sum it up: he was shot at every damn day! there were several times he would call me up on the verge of tears casue of the events of that day. his wife (now ex) was here in the sates. she was supose to do 3 things while he was gone. pay the rent, take care of the dg, and finish school. he was makeing over $4k a month. their total bills came out to just under $2k.
That's a really tough break, sorry to hear- good to know he's got someone to turn to still. Out of curiosity though, he wasn't in touch with anyone else who could have dobbed her in sooner?
GOLD Member
*slou?
6,554 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
*slou?
6,554 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted:
I'd be interested to see the second part?
helps to put things in perspective if you see the whole idea.
I'd be interested to see the second part?
helps to put things in perspective if you see the whole idea.
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
Pooh-Bah
1,762 posts
Location: York University, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'd argue that hate is not an easy emotion to sustain. Eventually you burn out and you're left with a feeling of "Why did I just spend so much effort hating someone who, in the grand scheme of things doesn't matter?" Hate, like Love, requires work and attention for it to happen. Empty yes, easy no.
I've only ever truly hated one person, and they taught me that violence can solve problems. Maybe not a happy lesson, or a comforting one, but hey, I didn't pick that lesson.
Gah. I hate dredging up bad memories.
Happy face, happy thoughts!
Or something...
I'd argue that hate is not an easy emotion to sustain. Eventually you burn out and you're left with a feeling of "Why did I just spend so much effort hating someone who, in the grand scheme of things doesn't matter?" Hate, like Love, requires work and attention for it to happen. Empty yes, easy no.
I've only ever truly hated one person, and they taught me that violence can solve problems. Maybe not a happy lesson, or a comforting one, but hey, I didn't pick that lesson.
Gah. I hate dredging up bad memories.
Happy face, happy thoughts!
Or something...
After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
Part 2:
Knowing the four kinds of true friends or friends at heart:
1) the helping friend has four features:
(1) When his friend is off guard, he guards him.
(2) When his friend is off guard, he guards his property.
(3) In times of danger, he can be a refuge.
(4) When some business needs to be done, he puts up more money than requested.
2) The firend through thick and thin has four features:
(1) He confides in his friend.
(2) He keeps his friends secrets.
(3) He does not desert his friend in times of danger.
(4) He will even give his life for hisfriend's sake.
3) The good counselor has four features:
(1) He restrains his friend from doing evil or harm.
(2) He encourages him in goodness.
(3) He makes known to his friend what he has not heard before.
(4) He points out the way to happyness, to heaven.
4) The loving friend has four features:
(1) When his friend is unhappy, he commiserates.
(2) When his friend is happy, he is happy for him.
(3) When others criticise his friend, he comes to his defense.
(4) When others praise his friend, he joins in their praise.
About the Author: P.A. Payutto (*1939 in Thailand), became a novice at the age of 13. Deputy Secretary-General of the Buddhist University of Pennsylvania, Harvard University and Swarthmore College. Amongst a number of honorates, he received the 1994 UNESCO price for peace education.
Part 2:
Knowing the four kinds of true friends or friends at heart:
1) the helping friend has four features:
(1) When his friend is off guard, he guards him.
(2) When his friend is off guard, he guards his property.
(3) In times of danger, he can be a refuge.
(4) When some business needs to be done, he puts up more money than requested.
2) The firend through thick and thin has four features:
(1) He confides in his friend.
(2) He keeps his friends secrets.
(3) He does not desert his friend in times of danger.
(4) He will even give his life for hisfriend's sake.
3) The good counselor has four features:
(1) He restrains his friend from doing evil or harm.
(2) He encourages him in goodness.
(3) He makes known to his friend what he has not heard before.
(4) He points out the way to happyness, to heaven.
4) The loving friend has four features:
(1) When his friend is unhappy, he commiserates.
(2) When his friend is happy, he is happy for him.
(3) When others criticise his friend, he comes to his defense.
(4) When others praise his friend, he joins in their praise.
About the Author: P.A. Payutto (*1939 in Thailand), became a novice at the age of 13. Deputy Secretary-General of the Buddhist University of Pennsylvania, Harvard University and Swarthmore College. Amongst a number of honorates, he received the 1994 UNESCO price for peace education.
the best smiles are the ones you lead to
Stargazer
6,650 posts
6,650 posts
Posted:
Many problems are caused by a fake social "infrastructure" and "lifestyle". The way people treat other - in real life or virtuality - is very inconsiderate sometimes (myself not necessarily excluded)...
My humbling thought is sometimes how hurtful I can be without even noticing and without intent. And how I leave a positive imprint in people - also without noticing and intent How people affect other peoples lives just by doing what they think is right.
Personally I experienced many combinations of false friends - which are not necessarily bad people - but maybe not very good ones either...
EDITED_BY: FireTom (1136693930)
Many problems are caused by a fake social "infrastructure" and "lifestyle". The way people treat other - in real life or virtuality - is very inconsiderate sometimes (myself not necessarily excluded)...
My humbling thought is sometimes how hurtful I can be without even noticing and without intent. And how I leave a positive imprint in people - also without noticing and intent
How people affect other peoples lives just by doing what they think is right. Personally I experienced many combinations of false friends - which are not necessarily bad people - but maybe not very good ones either...
EDITED_BY: FireTom (1136693930)
the best smiles are the ones you lead to
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