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Forums > Social Discussion > got to get this off my chest

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jubfluff
SILVER Member since Dec 2005

jubfluff

Member
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom

Total posts: 5
Posted:ok, you're in a club. first time in ages there's actually enough space to have a spin with a bit of bangin' psy to move to. no sooner have you got going and someone will be hanging around trying to catch your eye. why? 'can i have a go?' these people are never newbies interested in what you're doing but really good spinners. now i know we're supposed to be this lovely, supportive community (we are, aren't we?!?), but - if you're that into spinning, bring your own! i'm never without some poi, i even have an old set in my van so if i have a moment in a layby i can get some practice in. for me the whole point of poi is to dance with them and the best place to do that is in a club (yeah, or outdoors, but then you've got fire and space and time), the majority of which you find are too damn crowded when you get in there, having found some way of transporting your toys, had them eyed suspiciously by the doorstaff and then carting them round the rest of the night with little chance of using them.

or am i being an arse?


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Tom_Shill
SILVER Member since Dec 2005

Tom_Shill

enthusiast
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 213
Posted:Yeah, I've had that spinning LEDs outside our halls one night. You might say I was asking for it but they were new and there's no room to use them inside. So I was spinning away and this guy started loitering nearby. He eventually came over and asked for a go and it quickly became clear that he was a spiner himself and his only goal was to demonstrate how much better than me he was. He proceeded to dazzle me with a seriously ropy 3 beat weave at about three billion miles an hour with my shiny new glowgallzwow. I just feigned being impressed with his superior talents and he left. How humbled I felt wink

Will those capable of telekinesis please raise my hand?

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fluffy napalm fairy


fluffy napalm fairy

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Brum / Dorset / Fairy Land

Total posts: 3638
Posted:*raises hand* ............. I am guilty of that. But a little more 'bounding up and bouncing about' rather than 'hanging about trying to catch your eye'.

Reason?

I don't spin that much outside social events. So I don't carry poi about.
When I see someone spinning, however, I am immediately unable to sit still, but if I hadn't seen anyone then I wouldn't think about poi/sticks at all.

You can look at it in a 'bring your OWN poi!' kinda way, but I think that's a strange attitude.

Or you can see it as an 'Oh cool - I've inspired them to want to spin more' event. Which i think is much nicer.

ps- one thing to get off my chest. You should re-name the thread title to 'people not bothering to take their own toys out' or something that shows what the thread's about........ ubbrollsmile


Geologists do it in the dirt................ spank

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onewheeldave
GOLD Member since Aug 2002

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom

Total posts: 3252
Posted:If you don't want people to use your stuff then don't let them; this is quite important in cases like Tom mentions where you get a newbie who thinks that the height of skill is to do 3-beat at ultra high speed- in a club situation that could lead to a bystader getting hit, and poi being banned from the club.

It's especially important, if, at some future point you get into fire spinning, to have the ability to say 'no' when random strangers want to use your stuff.

As to how to say 'no', I realise that many people do find it difficult in this situation, and that it can feel rude to do so; one thing is to realise that is isn't actually rude- when someone asks for a go, by definition, a refusal is perfectly acceptable (otherwise they're not asking, but demanding).

If they have a problem with that, it is their problem, not yours- if they've any understanding of spinning then they should realise there is an issue in that situation, and not get wound up by it.

Perhaps others on this board can put forward useful tips about how 'no' can be said politely?

But, failing that, when it comes down to it, and the choice is between: -

1. letting a stranger do something that you're not comfortable with, or that you feel is unsafe;

and

2. saying 'no' in a way that may come across as blunt, then I'd say go for the second option.


"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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onewheeldave
GOLD Member since Aug 2002

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom

Total posts: 3252
Posted:Written by: fluffy napalm fairy


ps- one thing to get off my chest. You should re-name the thread title to 'people not bothering to take their own toys out' or something that shows what the thread's about........ ubbrollsmile



That's a very good idea smile


"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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brodieman


brodieman

old hand
Location: london

Total posts: 1024
Posted:can kinda see both sides i would not have mat so many wonderful people if i did not let others play with my toys at events, for example i met fluffy napalm by swapping poi at a faerie tales event.

But i have had like 6 people at once all waiting to have a go, with my aerotechs
Now if im honest it can be annoying but i find the people that try to catch your eye are actually spinners ie they wont just walk up and ask because they feel unconfortable disturbing you.

I have lent people poi and they have been so dangerous that i have had to say im sorry going to have to take them back for now

In one club i frequent, the security there dont mind me doing poi because i know how to do it with out hitting anyone, but have said they will stop me doing poi here if i lend them to anyone again.

So result--- i love doing poi in clubs and meeting new poi people, so if someone catches my eye and i do want to carry on, i give them a big smile and they will generally eather wait to have a natter, if they have waited shown me that respect then i generally do stop after a few minutes.

I dont thnk many people will be offended if you say im in the middle of a bounce at the mo, but come and grab me in a little bit.

But do let other people play with your toys every now and again its a fantastic way of meeting people


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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:a) it's perfectly allright if you say - naa, am playing myself... byo
b) it's perfectly allright if you say - naa, my poi are like my didj and my girl wink noone else plays them biggrin
c) it's perfectly allright if you say - naa, I don't take the blame for you if something happens
d) it's also perfectly allright if you bring an extra set of practicepoi for the occasional spinner wink


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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onewheeldave
GOLD Member since Aug 2002

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom

Total posts: 3252
Posted:Of course it's fine to lend out your stuff if you want- it's a good way to encourage others and being friendly.



It's just that if you don't want to in a particular situation, either because it's unsafe, or because you're busy, or even cos you just don't feel like it; then that's also down to you, and I think it is important to have the ability to say 'no'.



Some people don't, often because they think it's rude. I've seen people at fire meets just hand over fire chains to strangers who were drunk (and who, on commencing spinning, were obviously far from the experts they claimed to be)- that's no good for anyone.


"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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Tom_Shill
SILVER Member since Dec 2005

Tom_Shill

enthusiast
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 213
Posted:Yeah that's all true. I don't mind letting people have a go, and I have met a few people just around our halls that way. It's only the type I described that annoy me. The type who stand around deciding if they're better than you or not, ask for a go and then do it in a "hey, check me out" type way. I wouldn't even mind if they were better and came over and said "have you tried this" or "have you thought about doing that in this way" or whatever, it's just those who set out to show you thet they're better than you. The consolation, of course, is that they're usually hopeless.

Will those capable of telekinesis please raise my hand?

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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:Hmm well I wouldnt say they are trying to show you up, I would say they are trying to show off what they can do, because everyone likes to do that deep down dont they.



Of course if someone does have a go at your poi and ends up



Written by:
proceeded to dazzle me with a seriously ropy 3 beat weave at about three billion miles an hour with my shiny new glowgallz





lol (that well made me laugh actually) then you can say something like



'I find I prefere to spin much slower, where did you learn how did you bla bla bla'



If I take my poi anywhere (wich is rare unless its a spinning meet) then I take my tails and socks and things just in case. I mean your going to the effort of carrying one pair of poi around with you so you may as well bring the others too.


Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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LazyAngel
GOLD Member since Jul 2004

LazyAngel

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Cambridge UK

Total posts: 2895
Posted:ditto what joe said.
As far as fire poi go, generally with strangers I ask them to demonstrate their spinning to me with some practise poi, with a disclaimer like, 'oh I just want to check you'll be ok, some people ask me if they can borrow my fire poi and don't know how to spin, but I don't want to get in trouble if they hurt themselves etc, etc'

If they're a liability then you can just politely refuse on the grounds that they haven't satisfied you that they're safe to spin fire.

Glow toys are a bit more difficult to handle and harder to keep out of the hands of drunk people (they'll sneak em when you turn your back sometimes)

Again though, the whole formula of lend them practise poi, let them beat themselves until they lose interest/ actually teach them something (second one requires much more patience though) is one that I find generally works.

not sure about that in a club situation though...


Because ActiveAngel sounds like a feminine deodorant

Like sex, I'm much more interesting in real life than online.

'Be the change you want to see in the world around you' - Ghandi

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Mr_Chutney
SILVER Member since Apr 2003

Mr_Chutney

Tosser
Location: Herefordshire, England (UK)

Total posts: 1711
Posted:A handy one for poiple spinning aerotechs or other expensive glow props (hyperlight prototypes for example) is simply- "you'd be most welcome, but they're far too expensive to just hand to a stranger, sorry".


I wouldn't lend my iPod to a random, even if he knew how to use it and loved the music i listen too so why should I lend my props to a like minded spinner?

That said I share my techs about quite a bit, its just a useful sidestep should the need arise.


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Sethis
BRONZE Member since May 2005

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 1762
Posted:I had a pair of fluffy dice poi that I left on a table at a party. I go off to get some water and come back to find that 2 girls are now wearing them as trendy belts umm

That p!ssed me off quite a lot, because It's like "I'm going to leave this on a table". Then people walk up and take them. I mean, WHY??? Did it not occur to you that they might belong to someone? Like the guy who was spinning them 30 seconds ago??


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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TheEtherbunny


newbie


Total posts: 11
Posted:If anyone wants to spin my poi, they are more than welcome to - after I am done and tired and after they are out. If they know what they are doing, sure light them up and if they don't know [censored] but want to learn, I invite them to our weekly practice.

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Zauberdachs


Zauberdachs

enthusiast
Location: The village of Edinburgh

Total posts: 220
Posted:I feel this issue is entirely different to the whole spinning community thing. If it isn't someone you know where is the "community" aspect? They should not expect to have any "community" rights, such as expecting you to trust them, until they join said "community" by getting to know you first.

The insults of your enemy are a tribute to your bravery wink

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Libra
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

Libra

member
Location: Norway

Total posts: 47
Posted:ehmm.. redface I feel a bit guilty too.. but I've lent people my poi a hundred times more often than I've asked to borrow some.. and it doesn't bother me at all.. -and if I by coincidence bump into any of you that doesn't like lending others your poi and I happen to ask you if I could borrow them.. then a no (especially with a smile) is ok!! No need for making excuses.. wink

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:i lend my poi out to most of my mates......all be it, i know they can spin......... ok.......they
try to show me up because i cant do this or that move but at the end of the day.......not one of them can do isolations or lock outs ubblol


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TinklePants
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

TinklePants

Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, Unit...

Total posts: 4217
Posted:I'm more than willing to let folk spin with my toys. I still see myself as a beginner (its been 6 months now) and I love watching other spinners, how they move and what sequence of moves they use. I don't see it as them showing off stuff I can't do. More like- "oooooh teach me how to do that!"

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:I've also been on both sides of this. I agree completely that you can say no to people who've asked to borrow your poi. I have, the expensive ones or home made, and often my reason is that I'm having too much fun. It can be rather boring to watch some wide-eyed teenager spin really badly when you'd rather be spinning.

When I do ask then I always wait until a spinner has finished spinning and then limit myself to a short spin only if I know they're hanging around that area. I think this is a simple courtesy many people forget, especially under the influence, and if they ask me to continue then I do so for a bit longer. Yay!


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jubfluff
SILVER Member since Dec 2005

jubfluff

Member
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom

Total posts: 5
Posted:first off, thanks to everyone for posting a comment. this is the first time i've done any of this forum lark and still wonder how anyone found my post in the first place, took me ages and i knew what it was called!

i don't have any problem with doing swappsies with another spinner (ie they have thier own and have been seen using them). you both still get to play then, and i've certainly met some really nice people that way. i have now got to the stage where i will say no, or not yet. though i never then get approached later when i've come to a natural stop so i guess they weren't really that bothered to begin with?


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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:Yeah well for Poi I really don't mind... someone hurt himself? Sorry for them, but hey - they asked for it and I told them to be careful! On the beach here the're just a few willing to try and unless they're heavily intoxicated I just let them have a go (also with fire)...

BUT: I now had this one guy who borrowed my staff. Well it's a heavy contact staff and he just wasn't happy with it at all, because he couldn't handle it (and not show off his great skills)... shrug

And while it was still burning he threw it in the corner into the dirt eek turned around and walked off!!! frown

I had to do a lot of breathing exercise and meditate to swallow THAT one! frown redface frown


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Zauberdachs


Zauberdachs

enthusiast
Location: The village of Edinburgh

Total posts: 220
Posted:eek angry spank

The insults of your enemy are a tribute to your bravery wink

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VampyricAcid
SILVER Member since Jun 2005

VampyricAcid

veteran
Location: My House, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1286
Posted:im kind of guilty of dong this...as it seems everyone is, but i never ask to have a go cos i dont like to show off, odd as it may sound, i dont like to spin for other people, i spin for me, and thats that, but if someone offers me a spin, im not gonna turn it down smile

Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?

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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:eek and then is the drunken "couldIhaveago?"-chick showing up IN my face WHILST (!!!) I'm spinning my "performance of the month" eek

...this is the worst one! mad2 devil ubblol
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you remember: hey! this is that dude that was spinning so cool (on the beach) before/last night! don't just pat him on the shoulder - give him a sip of your drink, will ya? wink


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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Ryz0r
BRONZE Member since Aug 2005

Ryz0r

member
Location: Manchester, UK

Total posts: 33
Posted:I usually let people play with my toys cos i'm nice like that... and also the only people who really ask me to have a go are really good at spinning anyway..

Written by: FireTom

BUT: I now had this one guy who borrowed my staff. Well it's a heavy contact staff and he just wasn't happy with it at all, because he couldn't handle it (and not show off his great skills)... shrug

And while it was still burning he threw it in the corner into the dirt eek turned around and walked off!!! frown

I had to do a lot of breathing exercise and meditate to swallow THAT one! frown redface frown



This happened to me last night at the New Year's party... i was fire-spinning with poi and this guy says he wants a go (he does nunchaku spinning so i assumed he'd be alright at it) so he gets into a rather speedy 3beat weave, hits himself, sh1ts himself and throws both the poi off into the bushes, still burning and then stamps on them to put them out!!! mad2 angry

I was lucky he didnt damage the wicks... but yeah i'm not letting anyone play with my fire toys anymore after that!


Peace, Love, Unity, Respect

Crash and Burn, Live and Learn

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Igirisujin
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

Igirisujin

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Preston, United Kingdom

Total posts: 2666
Posted:lol I thouhgt after the age of 13 people grew out of stamping on things, seems I was wrong.

Chief adviser to the Pharaoh, in one very snazzy mutli-coloured coat

'Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...' - Whatever Happend To Baby Madonna?

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Sethis
BRONZE Member since May 2005

Sethis

Pooh-Bah
Location: York University, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 1762
Posted:He might have just panicked, it's easy enough to do if it's your first time with fire.

I lent a staff to a guy who said "I want you to teach me how to do some moves, I've done martial arts staff spinning".

He proceeded to do some very fast spinning and wraps then said "So what else can you show me?" I tried to show him some contact, but he gave me this look and wandered off after 5 minutes without even saying "Thanks". Some people have no appreciation I guess... shrug


After much consideration, I find that the view is worth the asphyxiation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

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BansheeCat
BRONZE Member since Jul 2005

veteran
Location: lost, Canada

Total posts: 1247
Posted:Hmmn. I don't share my fire poi. It wouldn't be doing any favours cause they have a section of steel inside to make them heavy, and well, if you dont know that or are not used to it, you could knock yourself out pretty easy! Hate to do that to some unsuspecting victim;-) And I do get freaked out by what others often consider safe- standards vary so much!!- and would feel responsible if they torched the place with my poi or something. I do occasionally borrow from others if I dont have mine... ( Thanks Stout! kiss )

But I always bring tons of practice poi sets to hand out when spinning at a party, cause I dont enjoy "performing" per se, much rather goofing around with other people , spinning together. And I am too impatient to take turns ! By bringing cheap ones I dont worry about losing them,and can give them away if someone is really into it.

I do have special sets I don't share,and have been known to run away from a plague of giddy admiring children demanding to try my fuzzy penguin set!

I really like that people are acknowledging how important it is to comfortably say no to questions and favours. I always appreciate that kind of honesty, it is liberating! You know exactly where you stand.
hug
~A


"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

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BEZERKER


BEZERKER

enthusiast


Total posts: 237
Posted:If I'm out and in a situation where I don't have any 'toys' on me and I see someone having a play AND I feel like having a go too (or even not), I ALWAYS start by waiting for them to finish their routine and make like a spectator (which I am) rather than hanging around trying to make their eye. No need to be shy about it, I just walk up and say hi when they aren't mid spin or conversation.

I then start by asking them about their history - Where did you learn, How long have you been spinning, Do you do any other toys....this gets the ball rolling because I'm genuinely interested to speak to them about these things. I usually relate some of my experiences too. Then later I hit them up for a quick blast.

Of course this is always time dependant and how receptive they are to a chat but we ALL know that by doing this in public we are bound to get someone wanting to have a chat. If you aren't cool with chatting about the art you aren't cool (IMO anyway).

I have only ever had one knock back by a holier than thou staff twirler who was very good but obviously thought she was above any friendly discussion. Mind you I was mushed on a psychotropic so may have come across a little *ahem* intense. biggrin

My rules for sharing my toys:

If they are ignoring my attempts to talk and be friendly (ie using me for a chance to be cool or show off) then it's a 'no deal'.

Never let them touch fuel/fire until they've shown their talent unlit. (and if they want a go of my beaming poi, I tell they they'll get KTFO if not carefull)

Cheers

beerchug


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FireTom


Stargazer


Total posts: 6650
Posted:... frown unless the guy who asks you is an intoxicated Thai (or Indonesian) on his very own shore.... frown

In this case MY ADVICE IS: just hand them over... shrug

Otherwise you may find your T-shirt burnt, him fisting your face, chasing you down the whole beach and crumbling your glasses, without anyone intervening or giving much of a damn whether he tries to put a broken beer bottle through your face... all just shiny happy people... wanting to party... umm pretty much like "the beach"

------------------------
never argue with an idiot, even if he's the owner of a local beach-bar


the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink

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The Misguided Oracle
GOLD Member since Aug 2005

The Misguided Oracle

the floor is a sea of tigers...
Location: Brisvegas, Australia

Total posts: 404
Posted:worst thing is people who just snatch your gear off you and proceed to be a danger to themselves and those around them... spining the staff in a figure 8 (even if it was fast) wildly like a maniac then dropping it shortly after.

last time i was out, i jsut recovered my stick, pulled off a few simple contact moves and then walked away wink

btw, anyone got any tips/advice on dealing with some of these kind of aggressive people? it sometimes makes me not feel like bringing my staff to parties/events frown


"My body is a well tuned machine... It just needs a competent driver." - ?

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