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jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:

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As it's nearly that time of year, (Jesus's birthday) I drew a nice birthday card for him. Perhaps we should all celebrate Jesus and draw some nice pictures.
oh, despite the rumours, Sym isnt Jesus, he just looks incredibly like him.

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


DuncGOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: jo_rhymes


oh, despite the rumours, Sym isnt Jesus, he just looks incredibly like him.




ubblol ubblol





Happy Birthday Jesus! In the happy (ahem) spirit of things I searched the interweb for a joke I thought you might like. If it offends you Jesus please write me a pm and I'll edit the post biggrin

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying.
Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, "Peter, come hither!" Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, "Peter, come hither!"
So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and chops Peter's arm off. Peter is getting a little pissed and wants to go back to his buddies, but again Jesus summons.
The roman guard can't believe that Peter is trying yet AGAIN to climb to the cross, and chops off another arm.
Peter is now covered in blood and demented from the blow to the head and wants to call it a day. Jesus hoarsly croaks, "Peter, please, come to me!"
By now, the roman gurad is tire of chopping limbs, so he lets Peter be.
The faithful disciple struggles to climb the cross (without arms mind you)and after hours he arrives at his Lord's side. Hurting, suffering, bleeding, Peter looks into his Master's eyes and asks, "yes, Lord. What is it!"
Jesus smiles lovingly and looks off into the distance as a weak smile plays across his face, "Look Peter, I can see your house from here!"

ubblol

Let's relight this forum ubblove


SymBRONZE Member
Geek-enviro-hippy priest
1,858 posts
Location: Diss, Norfolk, United Kingdom


Posted:
I'm not?! Oh, damn frown

There's too many home fires burning and not enough trees


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
hahahahahahaha ubblol

in the doubt jesus even existed i find this joke the funnyest i have heard in ages hehehe

thegreatBJWoman! Not gay Man!
332 posts
Location: Hull...ish


Posted:
isnt he supposed to have actually been born in june or something?

I AM NOT A GAY MAN!


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
Sorry Sym,
just because you have long hair and a beard doesnt make you the messiah. I keep telling you this.
And of course Jesus exists! what you on about!! Who do you think dresses up in red and white and delivers our presents?!! Silly hippy fools...

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:

Non-Https Image Link

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
Written by: jo_rhymes


Sorry Sym,
And of course Jesus exists! what you on about!! Who do you think dresses up in red and white and delivers our presents?!! Silly hippy fools...





has this just answered my questions about christ???


*starts singing*

"I am the anti-christ............and i am an anorchist!!!! don't know what i want, but i know how to get it, i wanna DESTROY" lalalalalala

PyroWillGOLD Member
HoP's Barman. Trapped aged 6 months
4,437 posts
Location: Staines, United Kingdom


Posted:
Despite anyones beliefs this is a happy post in social chat, so lets not get into a discussion about the validity of Jesus's existence and just wish the hippy Happy Birthday bounce

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind

Give a man a fish and he'll eat 4 a day hit a man with a brick and you can have all his fish and his wife

"Will's to pretty for prison" - Simian


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
happy birthday hippy tongue

jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
yay!!
cheers Will!!
Lets all sing Jesus happy birthday! woooo!

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


the_poierSILVER Member
the 1337 poier
346 posts
Location: england


Posted:
smile he was supposed to be born in july smile hehe that joke is funny...

ive got a fuzzbox and im not afraid to use it
R.I.P. gayfest


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
dress 'im up! biggrin

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:

Non-Https Image Link

He SURE does!

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


Boo_BunnyBRONZE Member
Sparkely arty Mormon rainbow fairy
933 posts
Location: infront of you, United Kingdom


Posted:
Happy Birthday Jesus!




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EDITED_BY: Boo_Bunny (1135195422)

Property of Fine_Rabid_Dog


VampyricAcidSILVER Member
veteran
1,286 posts
Location: My House, United Kingdom


Posted:
lol you're around 3 months late tongue

Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
do you recon Jesus would want this this for christmas / birthday present

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
ooh! I have a jesus action figure!!!! it winds up and it moves along with its arms going up and down!!!

To whoever said it, yes, I think Jesus ws actually born in June but they changed the date to December 25th...summer solstice, anyone?

also, i have another joke for you, but bare with me cos i'm TERRIBLE at re-telling jokes.



Jesus and some of his disciples were walking up a mountain one day with a nice little picnic of bread and fish planned. But as they were walking up the hill, Jesus turned to Peter and said
"hey, Peter, there's all these people following us"
But Peter just said, "Just keep walking Jesus"
But then the crowd kept growing larger and larger, so Jesus turned to Matthew and said "Matthew, that crowd just keeps getting bigger and bigger, what are we going to do?"
And Matthew calmly replied, "Just keep going Jesus."
They finally reached the top of the hill, set their picnic down when Jesus turned around, threw his arms in the air and said "Hello my friends! There is enough bread and fish for all of you!"
But then Peter yelled, "Jesus! Sit down! you're drunk!"

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
lol thats great!!! hahaha
I think Jesus will bring us loads of presents this year for celebrating his birthday so well!!

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


DuncGOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom


Posted:
You're never going to beleive this....last night Jebus actually called my phone and spoke to me!! Oh no hang on, that was Sym rolleyes

Let's relight this forum ubblove


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
hahaha, Well Dunc, I speak to Jesus EVERYDAY!! In fact, Jesus tells me he loves me all the time!!!
..shazbat, that's Sym too ubbloco

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
btw ..who's Jebus?

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


DuncGOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom


Posted:
Jebus Christ Superstar biggrin

Let's relight this forum ubblove


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
JESUS CHRIST ACTION FIGURE PLAY SET!!!

Watch the advert! woo! ubblol
hahahahaha

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


JauntyJamesSILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,533 posts
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA


Posted:
I thought that he was born in March.

I mean, why would shepherds be watching their flocks in December?

-James

"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"


SymBRONZE Member
Geek-enviro-hippy priest
1,858 posts
Location: Diss, Norfolk, United Kingdom


Posted:
The Mediterranean is warm enough in December for sheep to be outside. There is no reason why they couldn't have done that on the 25th, also the grass is quite green unlike the summer, so it's a very good time to graze.

Anyway, thats not the point - we're here to say happy birthday - theres no reason why we need to say it on time to someone whos been dead for 2000 years... wink

There's too many home fires burning and not enough trees


VampyricAcidSILVER Member
veteran
1,286 posts
Location: My House, United Kingdom


Posted:
its september (hence 3 months late), it was moved to coincide with the pagan Yule (yule log, yuletide greetings anyone?) which although is now pretty much taken as the 21st/22nd now, it used to be based around the lunar calendar

Proudly Owned By The BMVC

Are You Sniffing My Mitten?


FireTomStargazer
6,650 posts

Posted:
jees was born earlier, but roman catholic mixed his b-day with the "light-festival" or winter-eclipse of nothern europe... rolleyes but it's the intent that counts!

---lays head in back and starts swingin it from right to left, grins and goes: haaaappy b'day to ya! haaappy b'day!---

the best smiles are the ones you lead to wink


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
I like Jesus, not only did he heal people, but he was sexy too.

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
sexy if you like long beards.

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


jo_rhymesSILVER Member
Momma Bear
4,525 posts
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdom


Posted:
yes i do!

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.


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