Forums > Social Chat > What would your evil HQ be like, if you were a bond villain?
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Flying Water Muppet
5,276 posts
Location: Edin-borrow., United Kingdom
Flying Water Muppet
5,276 posts
Location: Edin-borrow., United Kingdom
Posted:
Well, mine would have tigers, with metal claws and machine guns on their heads. And lasers that came from their eyes.
It would also have ninja leopards.
It would be situated on a lonely cliff on an island. With a square defending wall at the base of the mountain, and inside the wall would be a disney like villiage containing the stuff needed to support my henchmen. (wifes, shops etc.)
Obviously, volcano somewhere involved in that. And a helocopter bad, and massive tunnel with a runway for aeroplanes. Plus escape routes to the sea also.
Pop up turrets with anti-aircraft guns.
and most importantly, in my huge villainous office, I would have a detailed explaination of my plan for world domination, or at least, that's my FAKE plan...
Well, mine would have tigers, with metal claws and machine guns on their heads. And lasers that came from their eyes.
It would also have ninja leopards.
It would be situated on a lonely cliff on an island. With a square defending wall at the base of the mountain, and inside the wall would be a disney like villiage containing the stuff needed to support my henchmen. (wifes, shops etc.)
Obviously, volcano somewhere involved in that. And a helocopter bad, and massive tunnel with a runway for aeroplanes. Plus escape routes to the sea also.
Pop up turrets with anti-aircraft guns.
and most importantly, in my huge villainous office, I would have a detailed explaination of my plan for world domination, or at least, that's my FAKE plan...
"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade
I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'd have a big pink palace on my own island... which i shall name gayland... and my palace will be big and and and have lots ot frilly bits and fluffy bits. And all my servants will be naked men (fit obvioulsy) and and and my cleaners will be those 2 ladys of how clean is your house.
for defense i would have a squadron of british seagulls (must be british, as by far the biggest and most menacing) and llamas with guns.... I would train the llamas how to fight hand to hand just in case... And my army would be meercats, which attended the same ninja school as MCP's leopards...
And and and, I'd invite the gaygun, to which you point and someone, shout "zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap" all campy and then they fall over... GAY
Nuff said...
I'd have a big pink palace on my own island... which i shall name gayland... and my palace will be big and and and have lots ot frilly bits and fluffy bits. And all my servants will be naked men (fit obvioulsy) and and and my cleaners will be those 2 ladys of how clean is your house.
for defense i would have a squadron of british seagulls (must be british, as by far the biggest and most menacing) and llamas with guns.... I would train the llamas how to fight hand to hand just in case... And my army would be meercats, which attended the same ninja school as MCP's leopards...
And and and, I'd invite the gaygun, to which you point and someone, shout "zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap" all campy and then they fall over... GAY
Nuff said...
enthusiast
220 posts
Location: The village of Edinburgh
220 posts
Location: The village of Edinburgh
Posted:
... I don't think they are taking this thread seriously at all!
MY evil bond villan base would be on an large chunk of land fitted with an anti-gravity device, that I've just invented, which would allow me to hover it and move it around.
I would move it around threatening to drop things like bombs or frozen cows out of my base onto cities like New York (cos lets face it whenever someone trys to blow up a city it's always New York ... or like that capital of Japan? You know where all the Japanese people live, anyway).
And no one would shoot at me because I've told them my anti-gravity device would explode with the force of a thousand nuclear bombs and would blow up half the planet.
In case they tried to storm it I'd have an enourmous tesla device on top that would automatically zap any aircraft that tried to land. It could also be used to zap individual stuff on the ground I didn't like, like people and cars.
The grounds would be patroled by my henchmen in their bright orange Tesla resistant jumpsuits and their trained killer suicide monkeys who have rockets on their backs and kill by grabing people and then rocketing off the edge to their DOOM!!!!!
My office would be fully of people with clip boards and silver jumpsuits and a giant glowing antigravity device that was just the right size to slip out of the machine and into someones pocket...
... I don't think they are taking this thread seriously at all!
MY evil bond villan base would be on an large chunk of land fitted with an anti-gravity device, that I've just invented, which would allow me to hover it and move it around.
I would move it around threatening to drop things like bombs or frozen cows out of my base onto cities like New York (cos lets face it whenever someone trys to blow up a city it's always New York ... or like that capital of Japan? You know where all the Japanese people live, anyway).
And no one would shoot at me because I've told them my anti-gravity device would explode with the force of a thousand nuclear bombs and would blow up half the planet.
In case they tried to storm it I'd have an enourmous tesla device on top that would automatically zap any aircraft that tried to land. It could also be used to zap individual stuff on the ground I didn't like, like people and cars.
The grounds would be patroled by my henchmen in their bright orange Tesla resistant jumpsuits and their trained killer suicide monkeys who have rockets on their backs and kill by grabing people and then rocketing off the edge to their DOOM!!!!!
My office would be fully of people with clip boards and silver jumpsuits and a giant glowing antigravity device that was just the right size to slip out of the machine and into someones pocket...
The insults of your enemy are a tribute to your bravery 
ToadStool Circus Acts
181 posts
Location: Derbyshire
181 posts
Location: Derbyshire
Posted:
I'd have Umperlumpers. Oh no not like the new version of Charlie and the Chocolate factory. The old version. But they'd all wear black suits. With Orange ties. also all with a whip. and a little monkey on a lead tied to the belts.
Id also be surrounded by luxurious artifacts. Women. Chocolate Milkshakes.
Keeping in the Fire Spinning mood. My plan would be to take over the world by evil fire staffers spinning there staffs fast and hard. Obviously the "Goodies" would be the Poi guys but there nifty chains can not face up to the Mighty Long Staff or Quick Doubles.
I'd have Umperlumpers. Oh no not like the new version of Charlie and the Chocolate factory. The old version. But they'd all wear black suits. With Orange ties. also all with a whip. and a little monkey on a lead tied to the belts.
Id also be surrounded by luxurious artifacts. Women. Chocolate Milkshakes.
Keeping in the Fire Spinning mood. My plan would be to take over the world by evil fire staffers spinning there staffs fast and hard. Obviously the "Goodies" would be the Poi guys but there nifty chains can not face up to the Mighty Long Staff or Quick Doubles.
Yo-yoist, Staffer and 3 Ball and Club Juggling
'Its people like us, who make them feel talentless.'
enthusiast
220 posts
Location: The village of Edinburgh
220 posts
Location: The village of Edinburgh
Posted:
would the evil staffers all be semi naked hippies?
would the evil staffers all be semi naked hippies?
The insults of your enemy are a tribute to your bravery
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
mighty long staff?? sounds kinky.......te he
mighty long staff?? sounds kinky.......te he
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,099 posts
Location: Bideford and Bath, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,099 posts
Location: Bideford and Bath, United Kingdom
Posted:
whats this i hear about staff taking over via half naked hippies?
sounds good to me
whats this i hear about staff taking over via half naked hippies?
sounds good to me
UCOF "evolution: Poi -> stick -> hoops -> devil stick -> juggling club -> juggling ball -> crayons."
Supergroovalsticprosifunkstication
In other words, it's the thumps bump
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
bad asena
bad asena SILVER Member
Watching the Sky
453 posts
Location: Cambridge(ish)/Bath Spa Uni, United Kingdom
Watching the Sky
453 posts
Location: Cambridge(ish)/Bath Spa Uni, United Kingdom
Posted:
mine would be cleverly disguised as a really popular jazz club, where the likes of................................no wait, all of the best, bands and artists would guest.
My basement will be the actual HQ, where i would have an english bullterrier (with a black eyepatch), i wouldnt need any crazy weapons or anything, apart from the greatest car ever (ill sort that out later), because i will be one of the first humanbeings to have a mutation, which will be telepathic and telekinetic abilities.
I will also have connections with all the rats of the country as my watch outs as apparently your only ever a few metres away from one!
Also, i will probably last quite a few movies, because i wont get easily seducted by james bond because of my powerful mind!
eeeheheheheehh!
mine would be cleverly disguised as a really popular jazz club, where the likes of................................no wait, all of the best, bands and artists would guest.
My basement will be the actual HQ, where i would have an english bullterrier (with a black eyepatch), i wouldnt need any crazy weapons or anything, apart from the greatest car ever (ill sort that out later), because i will be one of the first humanbeings to have a mutation, which will be telepathic and telekinetic abilities.
I will also have connections with all the rats of the country as my watch outs as apparently your only ever a few metres away from one!
Also, i will probably last quite a few movies, because i wont get easily seducted by james bond because of my powerful mind!
eeeheheheheehh! 
I jumped into the river, what did i see?
Black-eyed angels swam with me.
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
I forgot to mention that the leader of my army and my number 2 would be annE, the ultimate weapon of destruction (anne from lil britain)... EH eh eheehhhhhh
I forgot to mention that the leader of my army and my number 2 would be annE, the ultimate weapon of destruction (anne from lil britain)... EH eh eheehhhhhh
Carpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
Posted:
my evil lair woud be a chemical plant in the hills of some jungle, i would have vars field of marijuana growing to be incinorated and the massive smoke stack would pump it straight into the jet stream so it would circle the globe and get EVERYONE stoned. i would the monopolise the munchie industry so i would become the richest man in the world.
my personal body gaurds would be scantily clad dominatrix women that knew martial arts (and how to please their master) my henchmen.........well who cares about them, it's not like they have name badges and are always first to die
my evil lair woud be a chemical plant in the hills of some jungle, i would have vars field of marijuana growing to be incinorated and the massive smoke stack would pump it straight into the jet stream so it would circle the globe and get EVERYONE stoned. i would the monopolise the munchie industry so i would become the richest man in the world.
my personal body gaurds would be scantily clad dominatrix women that knew martial arts (and how to please their master) my henchmen.........well who cares about them, it's not like they have name badges and are always first to die
GOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom
Posted:
it'd be one that has a gun that kills Bond straight away, not one that has without elongated torture techniques or robots and such that you have to leave the room and "presume" that it's been successful. I want a nice phat gun, with a fair few rounds that I can pummel into the snobby little shite as soon as I capture him.
Also it must be big enough for a decent party with space for fire spinning
Written by: mcp
What would your evil HQ be like, if you were a Bond villain?
it'd be one that has a gun that kills Bond straight away, not one that has without elongated torture techniques or robots and such that you have to leave the room and "presume" that it's been successful. I want a nice phat gun, with a fair few rounds that I can pummel into the snobby little shite as soon as I capture him.
Also it must be big enough for a decent party with space for fire spinning
Let's relight this forum 
GOLD Member
the floor is a sea of tigers...
404 posts
the floor is a sea of tigers...
404 posts
Posted:
I'd have my base situated in another dimension accessable only if you can rip a hole in the fabric of time & space... that should deter amature do-gooders.
but of course the base would be decked out in the latests and greatests of tesla & fire traps to welcome all my uninvited guests and also evil flying monkeys with gills and laser eyes! 
Power generators, server rooms, ops rooms, will all be renamed something innocent like barracks, storerooms, etc., etc. while rooms built for the sole purpose of eliminating do-gooders quickly and messily shall be named as power generators, server rooms, ops rooms, etc., etc.
this makes me want to go back and play evil genius again (if i could only remember where i left that cd)
I'd have my base situated in another dimension accessable only if you can rip a hole in the fabric of time & space... that should deter amature do-gooders.
but of course the base would be decked out in the latests and greatests of tesla & fire traps to welcome all my uninvited guests
and also evil flying monkeys with gills and laser eyes! Power generators, server rooms, ops rooms, will all be renamed something innocent like barracks, storerooms, etc., etc. while rooms built for the sole purpose of eliminating do-gooders quickly and messily shall be named as power generators, server rooms, ops rooms, etc., etc.this makes me want to go back and play evil genius again (if i could only remember where i left that cd)
SILVER Member
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
UnNatural Scientist - Currently working on a Breville-legged monkey
757 posts
Location: Bath Uni or Shrewsbury, UK
Posted:
Hee hee hee
EDITED_BY: Domino (1134269002)
Hee hee hee
EDITED_BY: Domino (1134269002)
Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can beat the world into submission.
GOLD Member
the floor is a sea of tigers...
404 posts
the floor is a sea of tigers...
404 posts
Posted:
Written by:ooo... i'd better be careful when i'm out and about in that kingdom
111. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being executed.
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
I would have a huge gothic castle, somewhere in the middle of the north Atlantic sea, on a rocky island.
I would have flying monkeys (Wizard of Oz esque), with poisonous claws.
My minions (i prefer that word then henchmen) would have black cloaks, with guns hidden under them.
I'd also have an underground submarine port. Because my rocky island would be too dangerous for normal ships. Plus it'd mean getting to my island would be very hard - making it easier to defend.
I would have a huge gothic castle, somewhere in the middle of the north Atlantic sea, on a rocky island.
I would have flying monkeys (Wizard of Oz esque), with poisonous claws.
My minions (i prefer that word then henchmen) would have black cloaks, with guns hidden under them.
I'd also have an underground submarine port. Because my rocky island would be too dangerous for normal ships. Plus it'd mean getting to my island would be very hard - making it easier to defend.
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
GOLD Member
the floor is a sea of tigers...
404 posts
the floor is a sea of tigers...
404 posts
Posted:
i tend to refer to my minions/henchmen/henchwomen as employees or stakeholders... makes them feel better & less likely to revolt (and that i arm them with stakes also)...
i tend to refer to my minions/henchmen/henchwomen as employees or stakeholders... makes them feel better & less likely to revolt (and that i arm them with stakes also)...
ToadStool Circus Acts
181 posts
Location: Derbyshire
181 posts
Location: Derbyshire
Posted:
I like to call the 'Expendable Friends'. Mwaaaaaahahahaha
I like to call the 'Expendable Friends'. Mwaaaaaahahahaha
Yo-yoist, Staffer and 3 Ball and Club Juggling
'Its people like us, who make them feel talentless.'
GOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Posted:
Well Mine would have to be under the sea.
yes, under the sea
Darlin’ it’s better
Down where it’s wetter,
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we’re devotin’
Full time to floatin’
Under the sea
with electric eels and sharks with frickin' lazer beams attached to their heads.
Well Mine would have to be under the sea.
yes, under the sea
Darlin’ it’s better
Down where it’s wetter,
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we’re devotin’
Full time to floatin’
Under the sea
with electric eels and sharks with frickin' lazer beams attached to their heads.
Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
So its more like a scene from gold member and the lil mermaid than an evil HQ?
So its more like a scene from gold member and the lil mermaid than an evil HQ?
GOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Posted:
Did u not hear me? frickin' lazer beams! and a car/boat/sub to get there. complete with frickin lazer beams too
Did u not hear me? frickin' lazer beams! and a car/boat/sub to get there. complete with frickin lazer beams too
Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible
PLATINUM Member
Flying Water Muppet
5,276 posts
Location: Edin-borrow., United Kingdom
Flying Water Muppet
5,276 posts
Location: Edin-borrow., United Kingdom
Posted:
c'mon kids! There's enough frickin laser beams for everybody! No need to fight over them...
c'mon kids! There's enough frickin laser beams for everybody! No need to fight over them...
"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade
I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.
GOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Posted:
There's a fight? where?
*chants* fight! fight! fight!
There's a fight? where?
*chants* fight! fight! fight!
Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
ka pow!! *throws a punch at tink*
that shud shut her up!!
Jks!! jks! just messing
ka pow!! *throws a punch at tink*
that shud shut her up!!
Jks!! jks! just messing
GOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom
Posted:
*turns to evil henchmen*
keel heem!
*turns to evil henchmen*
keel heem!
Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
Wheres anne!? Where!?! She has left me!!
*runs away to hide*
Wheres anne!? Where!?! She has left me!!
*runs away to hide*
enthusiast
220 posts
Location: The village of Edinburgh
220 posts
Location: The village of Edinburgh
Posted:
PPPPPZZZZZZZTTTTTT....
*burns everyone with tesla*
muw-hahahahahaa....
PPPPPZZZZZZZTTTTTT....
*burns everyone with tesla*
muw-hahahahahaa....
The insults of your enemy are a tribute to your bravery
ToadStool Circus Acts
181 posts
Location: Derbyshire
181 posts
Location: Derbyshire
Posted:
Do you reckon that not only do the 'Supreme Evil Lord's' fight with the 'Goodies'. But do they fight with each other? Or are they just best friends? They mite have some aliance going on.
Do you reckon that not only do the 'Supreme Evil Lord's' fight with the 'Goodies'. But do they fight with each other? Or are they just best friends? They mite have some aliance going on.
Yo-yoist, Staffer and 3 Ball and Club Juggling
'Its people like us, who make them feel talentless.'
GOLD Member
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'd be willing to share my power i spose...
I'd be willing to share my power i spose...
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,099 posts
Location: Bideford and Bath, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,099 posts
Location: Bideford and Bath, United Kingdom
Posted:
i'll consider it
but for now...
*shoots death ray wildly around thread
i'll consider it
but for now...
*shoots death ray wildly around thread
UCOF "evolution: Poi -> stick -> hoops -> devil stick -> juggling club -> juggling ball -> crayons."
Supergroovalsticprosifunkstication
In other words, it's the thumps bump
PLATINUM Member
Flying Water Muppet
5,276 posts
Location: Edin-borrow., United Kingdom
Flying Water Muppet
5,276 posts
Location: Edin-borrow., United Kingdom
Posted:
release the ninja leopards!
release the ninja leopards!
"the now legendary" - Kaskade
"the still legendary" - Kaskade
I spunked in my friend's aquarium and the fish ate it. I love all fish. Especially the pink ones. They are my bitches. - Anon.
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