Forums > Social Discussion > BBC- NotMyBabiesDaddy Policy

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:So this morning I heard a report on the BBC radio that there was this DNA study/test/whatever with men labelled as "deadbeat dads" who were paying child support. In the end a large percentage of the DNA tests came back that the dads who were paying child support were *not* actually the fathers of the kids they were paying on.

The British gov't decided that these "dads" needed to be reimbursed for all of the money they spent on kids that were not theirs...but here comes the catches....

1. They are not holding the mothers liable for the refund because they usually do not have the money and it would be detracting from the quality of life for the children and

2. It has been deemed nearly impossible to track down the legitimate fathers of these children and make them reimburse the guys so instead

The gov't is going to payback these "not-the-daddies", which means your tax dollars are going to pay these guys back for supporting kids that are not theirs, thus making the kids the taxpayers responsibility.

This has bad and backward written all over it.
Yet, I'm not sure how it should be settled. It's kindof confuzzling

What do you think of it?


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Prometheus


Prometheus

Diamond In The Rough
Location: Richmond, Virginia

Total posts: 459
Posted:It's the mother's and the governments responsibility to locate the real father and send him a bill.
If they cannot find him, then the government should reimburse the child support paid so far. Yes, the government would have to raise taxes to pay for it, which is why the people IN government would be replaced with someone who won't make such an expensive mistake.


Dance like it hurts; Love like you need money; Work like someone is watching.

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you DO criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have their shoes.

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onewheeldave
GOLD Member since Aug 2002

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom

Total posts: 3252
Posted:I agree with lightning- if I'd been forced by the govt to pay money to support a child, and it was found out that I wasn't the father; then I'd want re-imbursing by the govt.

And, if they then wanted to establish that the mother was guilty of fraud, then it's their business to sort that out.

From my perspective, it was the govt who forced me to pay out, and it's the govts flawed procedures that were at faullt, so it's the govt who owes me the money.

(Having siad that, it wouldn't have happened to me as I would have insisted on DNA testing before I paid a penny).

On a related note, I recently read something about a report (I don't know if it's true) saying that, in the UK, it cost more to actually run the CSA, than they collect in payments from fathers. ie they could actually shut down the CSA, pay for child support out of taxes, and it would cost the taxpayer less to do so.


"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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Rusto
BRONZE Member since Nov 2005

Rusto

member
Location: Gold Coast, Qld, Australia

Total posts: 47
Posted:I've heard that up to 1 in 5 children (will look into this) are not with thier natural fathers, being a dad, it's a thought that has crossed my mind briefly not for a long time but, money aside, sorry! It would be devistating for lets say a live in dad to find out some years later, for some. I have known my daughter from birth and hopefully from conception. If the latter where not the case, she would still be my daughter ubblove

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
A bowl of soup with some one you love is better than steak with some one you hate. Proverbs 15, 17

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Birgit
BRONZE Member since Jan 2005

Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)

Total posts: 4145
Posted:The 1 in 5 luckily isn't right. It's been extrapolated from people requesting DNA tests, and therefore mostly had reason for doubt. It completely ignores all relationships where the father has no doubt, and where the rate is much lower than 1 in 5.

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:Actually, and I don't want to dig up the study again, its on here somewhere... sorry, still tired! but in cases with married couples where they swear the kid is the fathers and has to be... NHS did a study and found 30% of the children wern't their fathers... thats worse than 1 in 5. But this isn't teeenage mothers or anybody such as the "girl at the party." This is people in commited relationships. Food for thought.

They did go back and interview a handful of the women who's children were not in fact the fathers, and in most cases got them to admit they'd had sex with someone else... "but it wasn't an affair because blah blah blah." Good read.

As to the how can you not know, I submit that all that has to happen is you have sex with more than one man between your menstruations. There are certainly plenty enough instances of that happening. I'd also like to point out it doesn't even have to be unprotected- birth control can and does fail, usually quite obviously when it does, but just to point out that there is such a thing as unlucky!

As to what they should do- well, yeah, seems the govt might just as well pay out- my own mum used my child support payments to support me, and although they were generous payments and in fact got me not just food (clothing came from relatives at christmas) but a chance to be involved in extra curricular activities and thus not be a drug addict tongue she nonetheless was doing this not from her own pocket! I wouldn't mind seeing the mom's pay them back at a later date (after the kids are grown) but I'm afraid this doens't seem practical and might just cause more trouble for the guys....


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13921
Posted:I dunno. The bit about all this that mystifies me is that...

BRITISH PEOPLE HAVE SEX???

confused shrug eek confused2

I thought they just had tea and kept repeating quaint sayings like "jolly ole'..." and "I'll just have a spot of lunch, then!"


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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baby_Lee
SILVER Member since Jul 2005

baby_Lee

RUBBISH!!
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1443
Posted:What we have sex! Oh thats where Ive been going wrong in life....

Colourful but not very bright.

Blu_valley: oh, and thats the only place where you get the ability to multiple-orgasm Baby Lee...the only place in the universe.

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Mostly in response to FireTramp

Instances where the mother doesn't know who the father is....

Dating more than one person at a time
One night stands...often
Drunken sex
Rape, especially where she feels humiliated and doesn't admit it

Why a woman would cite someone else....

Feels someone else would be more reliable
Feels someone else can afford to pay more
Would prefer anyone else be the father
Fear
Entrapment

And if people can't just disappear from the face of the planet then why does my post office and the local store bulletin board have no more space for the "Missing: help find" flyers. And many of these are adults. Why would shows like Unsolved Mysteries and Americas Most Wanted even exsist? Oh, people can and do disappear, by choice or otherwise, way too frequently.


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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maus
BRONZE Member since Jul 2005

maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia

Total posts: 4191
Posted:okay...this may seem ver slightly off topic at first but please believe i'm trying to make a valid point.

i can understand why the "fathers" who have been wrongly paying child support for a child that isnt theirs would want their money back,IF they were just handing over money to a child they did not actually spend any time with,or have contact with in anyway.

however-i cannot understand how anyone who has had contact with a child and played the part of its father(even if not living under the same roof) could then have the heartlessness to ask for the money they gave to help support that child back.

being a father is not about sharing sperm with a female.
being a father should NOT be about money...who owes who etc.

I was adopted from birth,therefore biologically,the parents i have,although "real" to me,biologically are not so.
If my case was different...
if my mum waas my biological mum,and had conned my dad(on purpose or accidently) into paying child support for me(presuming i was not actually his real child).. if they had ever split up when i was a kid and my dad found out that i was not his and even attempted to clam back any money from my mum-

i would be completely heartbroken.


The point i am trying to make is that in my eyes,if you have spent the time nourishing,loving,acting as a father,spending time with a child-wether it be yours or not,
how could you then just pretend your not its father because it wasnt your sperm that helped make it!????????????

i know this probably seems like a biased point of view...

..and i'm not saying that all fathers should forget the money they paid to a child thats not theirs...

...just throwing another side of the argument into the pot to point out that something this sensitive needs to be handled on an individual case basis.



ok....rant over! biggrin


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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Written by: Doc Lightning

BRITISH PEOPLE HAVE SEX???




devil

I'd expand but it'd be improper.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Written by: maus

okay...this may seem ver slightly off topic at first but please believe i'm trying to make a valid point.





I think you missed the point of the entire act. These men were accused of being "dead beat dad's"...that means they weren't involved in the kids lives. They were made to pay by the gov't because they were not involved.

I was adopted too. Your sentiments aren't solely applicable to that situation...but to anyone. According to the studies discussed a few posts up some of these kids are thinking the people who are their real dads are not. It doesn't change emotion at all.

I'm a single mom with a dead beat spermdonor...and I like it that way. In fact, I want him out of the picture completely (meaning even the gov't can't take his money in my sons name.)
This is about women who are getting money unjustly from men.

The kids don't know these guys, and if they do it is only as the person who gives the money to mommy.


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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