Forums > Social Chat > "Euro-English"
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13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
I haven't done a search. I'm on here so bloody often if it was here I'd be blind to not notice. Although maybe I am blind. If so, please forward all complaints to my lawyer...
(warning, this is hard enough to read for native speaker me, let alone those of you sporting English as a 2nd language!)
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales
Thats good. I like.
4,308 posts
Location: York, England
i actually have seen it on here but maybe not lately!
but yes, it in enjoyable. it really does make a lot more sense if you're learning the language, tho... we just find it odd cos we've grown up with the weirdness....
while were at it can we make english work in such a manner that yes or no questions actually mean something consistently when you say yes or no to them....
Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive
Shalom VeAhavah
New Hampshire has a point....
785 posts
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria
rouge- i feel strangely adressed by this.
mei inglish iz still gut, ja?
"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees
thats bought a smile to my face thanks rouge :;hug: What a Bummer
3,224 posts
Location: Shatfield, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
das ist sehr gut ja!
yay! thats made my day! he he he
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step
very good hehehehhee she who sees from up high smiles
Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*
Basu gasu bakuhatsu - because sometimes buses explode
1,584 posts
Location: Angels Landing, USA
haha german
That made me laugh
To do: More Firedrums 08 video?
Wildfire/US East coast fire footage
LA/EDC glow/fire footage
Fresno fire
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Written by: Konsti
rouge- i feel strangely adressed by this.
mei inglish iz still gut, ja?
don't even get me STARTED on your accent!
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
member
100 posts
Location: no home, between homes, always at home, Germany
that's great, hooray for homogenous
people are people
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